Making friends as an adult Page 4

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  • Deleted user 30 April 2013 23:02:07
    My problem is that I seem to make friends with Girls very easily and as a result from Uni most of my friends are female.

    This has often caused problems with my Mrs and obviously their male partners, as you just cant meet a girl for a random catch up drink without it being all sinister and frowned upon.
  • cubbymoore 30 Apr 2013 23:06:47 36,504 posts
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    Particularly when you go booking a hotel room beforehand.
  • Rusty_M 30 Apr 2013 23:07:49 4,924 posts
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    espibara wrote:
    My problem is that I seem to make friends with Girls very easily and as a result from Uni most of my friends are female.

    This has often caused problems with my Mrs and obviously their male partners, as you just cant meet a girl for a random catch up drink without it being all sinister and frowned upon.
    Really? I just went out for dinner (well Nandos) with a girl I used to work with. My wife didn't mind.

    The world is going mad. Me? I'm doing fine.
    http://www.twitch.tv/rusty_the_robot
    http://twitter.com/Rusty_The_Robot

  • Deleted user 30 April 2013 23:08:20
    My wife would murder me. Slowly.
  • cubbymoore 30 Apr 2013 23:09:22 36,504 posts
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    Rusty_M wrote:
    espibara wrote:
    My problem is that I seem to make friends with Girls very easily and as a result from Uni most of my friends are female.

    This has often caused problems with my Mrs and obviously their male partners, as you just cant meet a girl for a random catch up drink without it being all sinister and frowned upon.
    Really? I just went out for dinner (well Nandos) with a girl I used to work with. My wife didn't mind.
    She might seem fine, but she's putting blood thinner in your dinner.
  • Rusty_M 30 Apr 2013 23:09:55 4,924 posts
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    I also don't mind my wife going out with her male friends. Even the guy she dated for a couple of weeks before going out with me.

    The world is going mad. Me? I'm doing fine.
    http://www.twitch.tv/rusty_the_robot
    http://twitter.com/Rusty_The_Robot

  • Deleted user 30 April 2013 23:10:51
    Yeah it hard for singletons losing your social life. You just have fewer opportunities to meet someone. You work, eat, shit, sleep through out the week, weekends your few friends left are spending time with their other half, and any free time they do have, you're probably working a weekend shift anyway. End of the family line.

    When you do meet up, its just for that quite pint in your favourite man pub, and they're not inclined to do something outside or do something where you can meet someone.

    Then, on a freak accident of nature, you're entroudced to a girl, and you can't just speak and act like potential friends because you are single, and it gets all awkward and silly. You can't make female friends again until you paired up with someone and act normal again. Vicious cycle.
  • FWB 30 Apr 2013 23:12:31 45,587 posts
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    Also got quite a few female mates, with one being one of my closest. Current GF has known that since we met and has no problem with me meeting up with them one on one. I've got zero problem with her seeing male friends.

    Having such trust makes a massive difference to the relationship IMHO.

    Edited by FWB at 23:13:16 30-04-2013
  • Deleted user 30 April 2013 23:24:25
    I've got lots of female friends, but just can't imagine organising to meet them up one on one.
  • localnotail 30 Apr 2013 23:32:51 23,093 posts
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    I moved around a bit as a kid, so got used to just starting over with a new group of friends every few years. That habit carried on through adult life, making a new groups of friends and rarely keeping in touch once I'd changed jobs, moved, or after relationship break-ups. I have also had a serial messageboard addiction for over a decade which allowed me to keep jumping from virtual groups of friends, many of whom became real friends after meet-ups.

    Facebook has changed all that though. Until I joined I had little or no contact with people I knew beyond my recent past. I am quite easy to find as my surname is uncommon, so I now find myself in contact with people from all the different social groups I have ever been a part of, excluding a couple in my early teens. It's weird, but it's ok. It's quite nice to have people remind me of things I have forgotten due to age and excessive substance abuse. I've met up with a few of them too, which can be odd - having a drink with your past.

    I do generally like people and am friendly when I get out, but mostly I just like to hang out with my partner and our child when I have free time. I rarely instigate social gatherings. I'm not sure if I am lazy or if the easy availability of online companionship at my convenience has dulled my social urge.

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • Rodney 30 Apr 2013 23:41:35 1,922 posts
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    Closest friend is female and we meet up for meals all the time. Wife is totally okay with it.

    I'm really excited because my wife and friend are both pregnant and babies are due around the same time so hopefully we can do family stuff together
  • cubbymoore 30 Apr 2013 23:43:57 36,504 posts
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    Also a nice chance for the siblings to meet up.
  • Deleted user 30 April 2013 23:44:16
    Met a female pal in town after work was spotted by one of my Mrs mates and all of a sudden I'm a bastard toad in the hole cheating fucker.

    All I'm saying is with female mates its harder meeting for that quick random pint than with the blokes
  • mrpon 30 Apr 2013 23:49:18 29,564 posts
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    You are the taxi groper remember.

    Give yourself £5 or ½ gig, you're worth it.

  • brigadier 30 Apr 2013 23:50:14 145 posts
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    Well since I left uni last year I can sort of envision my relationship with my group of friends fading away. See, I've known my group of mates since school and college (one even from Primary school) and I'm the only one who went to uni and stuck it out. Everyone else either didn't want to go, or dropped out because they couldn't be bothered doing work.

    They lack ambition whereas I'm wanting to jet around the world working in far off places, making good of myself. Most of them are happy on the dole or working part time in Cineworld, not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just mine and my friends' ambitions are just not compatible anymore.

    I stayed at home for my studies so I never experience hall life and being forced to make friends with people... good job really because I fucking hate students. Though I did meet a few good people at uni who I know I will always call friends, I can't really see us meeting up very regularly at all. We might meet up for a pint or two every few months but that'll will soon end once we find jobs at the other side of the country, or even in different countries.

    I'm not really sure where my social life is going right now, but I know it'll far different in 10 years time.
  • FWB 30 Apr 2013 23:52:43 45,587 posts
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    I've even crashed round female mate's place while the GF has actually been at mine. Of course I've told her, but it has never been a problem.

    She does know all my friends.

    Edited by FWB at 23:53:58 30-04-2013
  • cubbymoore 30 Apr 2013 23:54:32 36,504 posts
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    What is it with all these Lotharios on here?
  • Blotto 30 Apr 2013 23:59:34 2,777 posts
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    It's the internet, everyone is Brad Pitt banging supermodels.

    /pre-emptive just kidding.
  • brigadier 1 May 2013 00:00:30 145 posts
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    Well, I have to say probably my best friend is a girl. She's sort of separate from my other group of friends. We've known each other since school and she's like a sister to me. Granted, I'm single now, but when I did have girlfriends they didn't mind me meeting up with her for a coffee or going shopping (super gay best friend). Vice versa, her long term boyfriend doesn't bat an eye lid if we meet up.
  • Deleted user 1 May 2013 00:02:22
    mrpon wrote:
    You are the taxi groper remember.
    Jesus some people here have a good memory
  • Armoured_Bear 1 May 2013 00:03:04 11,892 posts
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    mowgli wrote:
    My wife would murder me. Slowly.
    What's wrong with her?

    XBL : ecosse011172
    PSN : ecosse_011172
    NNID : armoured_bear

  • Triggerhappytel 1 May 2013 00:17:59 2,695 posts
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    @rodney
    why is it so hard as an adult to make the same kinds of friends as when you were young?
    I think it's mainly due to the completely different circumstances - when you're young, you're at school with people of the same age and maturity, and there are dozens of people to connect with so it's likely you're going to make really good friends with at least a few of those. But when you grow up you're not necessarily in the position to meet a lot of new people, you might move jobs frequently, you might not have any pubs or bars nearby with eligible women, or the sort of guys you'd like to be friendly with. I just think it's difficult to find or create the circumstances to meet like minded folk when you're no longer in academia.
  • Daryoon 1 May 2013 02:33:56 4,666 posts
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    Try being an impoverished bohemian artist slouching around bedsits and slums! Not only are the social opportunities limited, you get LOOKS when you tell people what you do!
  • sirtacos 1 May 2013 03:00:25 7,378 posts
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    Load_2.0 wrote:
    Try 36 years old.

    I get less texts than a German library in 1933.
    :D thanks for the chuckle
  • ZuluHero 1 May 2013 07:19:08 4,302 posts
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    mowgli wrote:
    I've got lots of female friends, but just can't imagine organising to meet them up one on one.
    Same here.

    Edited by ZuluHero at 07:24:36 01-05-2013
  • elstoof 1 May 2013 08:07:25 8,307 posts
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    cubbymoore wrote:
    What is it with all these Lotharios on here?
    It's amazing how a weekly meet with your girls to talk about handbags and personal freshness can be spun, isn't it.
  • elstoof 1 May 2013 08:08:33 8,307 posts
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    .

    Edited by elstoof at 08:09:09 01-05-2013
  • ZuluHero 1 May 2013 08:58:22 4,302 posts
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    Was talking about this with my partner this morning. She said she wouldnt mind if i did it, but it would make her think it was odd as it would be weird for me to meet with a female friend (1on 1) as its uncharatristic of me. Also she raised the point that if people are meeting with friends, esp. girls 1on1, for meals and drinks and not spending time or doing the same with their own partners then that would set alarm bells ringing.
  • Alastair 1 May 2013 09:53:36 16,406 posts
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    mowgli wrote:
    Yeah I just don't get how anyone over the age of 18 can enjoy nightclubs. Can't help but feel they only go there because they all hate each other. Because you can't talk to or even bloody see your mates half the time so it makes sense if you have a group of friends you are bored with.
    I only started going to nightclubs after I was 18..(at uni basically)
    And I went in order to go dancing.
    I don't go to nightclubs anymore though.
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