Making friends as an adult Page 3

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  • Rusty_M 30 Apr 2013 22:15:22 4,689 posts
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    mowgli wrote:
    RightBean wrote:
    Why?
    Great being able to have all past and present friends in one place?

    I get how cool it is to hate it for being popular but facebook is fucking great.
    This

    Also with you on preferring a quiet pint or two to going out and getting shitfaced. A couple of drinks is cheaper, I can remember the night and enjoy the following day.

    The world is going mad. Me? I'm doing fine.

  • Syrette 30 Apr 2013 22:16:55 43,477 posts
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    I do okay.

    Saw friends from school fairly regularly when I moved down south again, till a couple of years ago. Just seemed to move on from each other, both figuratively and literally in some cases. Get on with them still and still regularly see a couple of very good mates.

    Uni friends I don't see enough, spread all over the country now. I didn't make enough of an effort to keep in touch after I finished which I'm gutted about, but I do see a select few every few months and keep in touch with several more.

    Got friends from ex and current work, but that list is dwindling too as I've been in my current job for about a year now and we're a small team and I work long hours which affects my social life and means I don't get to meet as many new people as my previous job (far bigger workforce).

    Plus a number of friends from other places, networking etc.


    I do okay like I said, but I miss my early 20s when my social life was incredibly good and it felt like I was making new friends every week almost.

  • Syrette 30 Apr 2013 22:17:06 43,477 posts
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    /gets a blog

  • ronuds 30 Apr 2013 22:17:14 21,788 posts
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    mowgli wrote:
    RightBean wrote:
    Why?
    Great being able to have all past and present friends in one place?

    I get how cool it is to hate it for being popular but facebook is fucking great.
    You're one of few people I've ever seen say anything good about it, tbh.

    Seems you're almost forced to open an account these days, unless you want to be out of the loop.
  • Deleted user 30 April 2013 22:18:38
    Yeah I just don't get how anyone over the age of 18 can enjoy nightclubs. Can't help but feel they only go there because they all hate each other. Because you can't talk to or even bloody see your mates half the time so it makes sense if you have a group of friends you are bored with.
  • Deleted user 30 April 2013 22:23:44
    ronuds wrote:
    mowgli wrote:
    RightBean wrote:
    Why?
    Great being able to have all past and present friends in one place?

    I get how cool it is to hate it for being popular but facebook is fucking great.
    You're one of few people I've ever seen say anything good about it, tbh.

    Seems you're almost forced to open an account these days, unless you want to be out of the loop.
    It is great. I only log in now and then but I have aunties and uncles on there that I just wouldn't keep in contact with otherwise. People that annoy me and post shit? Restrict what I see of theirs. Simple. It is super cool to hate it as it is popular, same old internet shit, but it is very easy to modify and set up as the perfect social tool.
  • Syrette 30 Apr 2013 22:24:26 43,477 posts
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    mowgli wrote:
    Yeah I just don't get how anyone over the age of 18 can enjoy nightclubs. Can't help but feel they only go there because they all hate each other. Because you can't talk to or even bloody see your mates half the time so it makes sense if you have a group of friends you are bored with.
    Clubs are okay if you actually like the music. By and large I don't, which is good because it's rare I'll go to one now (your age).

    To be honest I've always been a not overly noisy pub/bar kind of guy. Want to talk to mates without having to shout.

    Was that awkward person who goes to a club but won't dance. Okay if you've got someone to talk to, but sometimes you'd find yourself in a position where you're just standing around looking bored.

    Worth going to clubs in my teens/early 20s because at uni at least you'd almost always end up at someone's house for after-party/gatherings which were often a good laugh.

    Edited by Syrette at 22:25:14 30-04-2013

  • Armoured_Bear 30 Apr 2013 22:24:53 11,267 posts
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    Lukus wrote:
    Dirtbox wrote:
    I find the best way is to go to the pub and chat to people.
    That just makes you the weirdo at the pub who chats to everyone.
    You're not shy and shit scared of talking to people by any chance?

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  • Deleted user 30 April 2013 22:28:36
    Syrette wrote:
    mowgli wrote:
    Yeah I just don't get how anyone over the age of 18 can enjoy nightclubs. Can't help but feel they only go there because they all hate each other. Because you can't talk to or even bloody see your mates half the time so it makes sense if you have a group of friends you are bored with.
    Clubs are okay if you actually like the music. By and large I don't, which is good because it's rare I'll go to one now (your age).

    To be honest I've always been a not overly noisy pub/bar kind of guy. Want to talk to mates without having to shout.

    Was that awkward person who goes to a club but won't dance. Okay if you've got someone to talk to, but sometimes you'd find yourself in a position where you're just standing around looking bored.

    Worth going to clubs in my teens/early 20s because at uni at least you'd almost always end up at someone's house for after-party/gatherings which were often a good laugh.
    Yeah I remember enjoying them as a kid because the novelty of getting wrecked was still there. Much preferred going to house party/gathering though.
  • bitch_tits_zero_nine 30 Apr 2013 22:30:01 6,654 posts
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    I used to love clubbing. Techno mostly.
  • disusedgenius 30 Apr 2013 22:30:59 5,331 posts
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    The bigger issue I find is finding somewhere to meet people who are... you know... female and everything. Obviously if you want a date that's one thing, but the combination of table top games and golf does tend towards sausage factories.
  • Deleted user 30 April 2013 22:32:27
    This thread is just reminding me more and more of "I Love You, Man".
  • Deleted user 30 April 2013 22:32:59
    Oh and +million to morris. It is bloody cheesy but my wife really is my best mate and I fucking love being together.
  • Syrette 30 Apr 2013 22:35:33 43,477 posts
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    The other great thing about being in a uni city/town is that everyone is so centralised. When I was a student I was in walking distance from every single one of my friends I'd met there. It was ridiculously easy to see people, especially given you're only physically at uni for a few hours a week. And of course networking was so straightforward. I could probably trace 20-30 friends back then to 3-4 people I met right at ths start.

    Stating the obvious here, I know. Think very people will be lucky enough to find themselves having a better social life post-uni than during it.

  • Leolian 30 Apr 2013 22:37:27 1,085 posts
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    mowgli wrote:
    Oh and +million to morris. It is bloody cheesy but my wife really is my best mate and I fucking love being together.
    Yeah, me too but I need some man time. Another problem I have is a fear of committing to an activity or a team. Most evenings I just want to go home and have a drink, dinner, TV and bed. I go through fads of wanting to do stuff, usually when I've had a bit of time off work and so have energy and head space. I guess that's where having an excessively social brother helps :)
  • Rodney 30 Apr 2013 22:38:33 1,895 posts
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    Nightclubs are okay if you are really into the music, I used to love the Beatdown nights at Fabric run by Scratch Perverts. I used to hate normal club nights, I was the awkward non dancer as well looking bored as well, but they were good places to meet girls (of the one night stand variety).

    I'm still friends with the people I grew up with and most of them live in my home town still but I live in another country now so only see them every couple of years. Same with uni friends. I don't have many close friends where I live and I don't really have time with a wife and children and long work hours.

    why is it so hard as an adult to make the same kinds of friends as when you were young?
  • Syrette 30 Apr 2013 22:40:08 43,477 posts
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    I went to a club/bar (bar by day, club by night) the other week, 11-1 because the pubs were closing and we fancied a couple more.

    Jesus wept, did I feel old (I'm 26). First time I've ever felt 'old'. Was a harrowing moment.

  • bitch_tits_zero_nine 30 Apr 2013 22:40:13 6,654 posts
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    Oh yeah. Proper clubs are more like gigs, following decent DJs about. Since I've stopped taking recreational drugs, I've gravitated to guitar based music tbh.
  • Deleted user 30 April 2013 22:40:48
    Do you have any couples friends? Or is your wife friends with women in other relationships? Host some sort of party, a bbq as the weather goes nice or a dinner party or something like that. Suggest to your wife that she invites said women in relationships and bring their partners along. Instant social situation to meet new man friends without the hassle of having to directly approach anyone.
  • Rusty_M 30 Apr 2013 22:42:13 4,689 posts
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    I'll admit I don't mind a bit of live music, and I've had some good time in some rock/metal clubs, but it can be annoying when you're out with mates, and you can barely talk to each other and you get up in the morning sounding like Lemmy when you speak.

    The world is going mad. Me? I'm doing fine.

  • Syrette 30 Apr 2013 22:43:43 43,477 posts
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    Rodney wrote:
    why is it so hard as an adult to make the same kinds of friends as when you were young?
    Commitments/lack of opportunities/not in the sort of occupation or team that makes it easier.

  • Syrette 30 Apr 2013 22:44:50 43,477 posts
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    meme wrote:
    Do you have any couples friends? Or is your wife friends with women in other relationships? Host some sort of party, a bbq as the weather goes nice or a dinner party or something like that. Suggest to your wife that she invites said women in relationships and bring their partners along. Instant social situation to meet new man friends without the hassle of having to directly approach anyone.
    Swinging?

  • Leolian 30 Apr 2013 22:46:23 1,085 posts
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    meme wrote:
    Do you have any couples friends? Or is your wife friends with women in other relationships? Host some sort of party, a bbq as the weather goes nice or a dinner party or something like that. Suggest to your wife that she invites said women in relationships and bring their partners along. Instant social situation to meet new man friends without the hassle of having to directly approach anyone.
    She has kinda the same problem. Her work friends are all married to complete tools, her uni mates are spread round the globe and she isn't in contact with many of her childhood friends. I think everything suffers compared to uni in this regard. Activity and interesting people on tap 24-7.
  • cubbymoore 30 Apr 2013 22:46:28 36,496 posts
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    meme wrote:
    Do you have any couples friends? Or is your wife friends with women in other relationships? Host some sort of party, a bbq as the weather goes nice or a dinner party or something like that. Suggest to your wife that she invites said women in relationships and bring their partners along. Instant social situation to meet new man friends without the hassle of having to directly approach anyone.
    Don't forget to tell them to bring their keys.
  • Deleted user 30 April 2013 22:47:20
    cubbymoore wrote:
    meme wrote:
    Do you have any couples friends? Or is your wife friends with women in other relationships? Host some sort of party, a bbq as the weather goes nice or a dinner party or something like that. Suggest to your wife that she invites said women in relationships and bring their partners along. Instant social situation to meet new man friends without the hassle of having to directly approach anyone.
    Don't forget to tell them to bring their keys.
    With bottles of lambrini and a tiramisu for dessert.
  • Lukus 30 Apr 2013 22:47:33 19,112 posts
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    Armoured_Bear wrote:
    Lukus wrote:
    Dirtbox wrote:
    I find the best way is to go to the pub and chat to people.
    That just makes you the weirdo at the pub who chats to everyone.
    You're not shy and shit scared of talking to people by any chance?
    No. I tend not to talk to random men in pubs though.

    Paintings & Photographs

  • Deleted user 30 April 2013 22:48:04
    Leolian wrote:
    mowgli wrote:
    Oh and +million to morris. It is bloody cheesy but my wife really is my best mate and I fucking love being together.
    Yeah, me too but I need some man time. Another problem I have is a fear of committing to an activity or a team. Most evenings I just want to go home and have a drink, dinner, TV and bed. I go through fads of wanting to do stuff, usually when I've had a bit of time off work and so have energy and head space. I guess that's where having an excessively social brother helps :)
    I know what you are saying, I do have a distinct lack of dude company. If you check with your local council/college/uni and see if they are running any evening classes it is a great opp to get out there and meet other people. Play some badminton and Spanish classes (before having to cancel) and I met a lot of people whom I still keep in touch with.
  • Rodney 30 Apr 2013 22:50:55 1,895 posts
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    meme wrote:
    Do you have any couples friends? Or is your wife friends with women in other relationships? Host some sort of party, a bbq as the weather goes nice or a dinner party or something like that. Suggest to your wife that she invites said women in relationships and bring their partners along. Instant social situation to meet new man friends without the hassle of having to directly approach anyone.
    we have couples friends but I sometimes struggle to make conversation with the men. To be honest, Ive always found it easier to talk to women - I don't really have blokey interests. I've got a male surfing buddy and a male powerlifting buddy but outside of those activities we don't really do much together.

    work is shit because I have to act professional and I'm never sure how to transition from work colleague / friend to a proper friend you can talk candidly with.
  • Armoured_Bear 30 Apr 2013 22:56:09 11,267 posts
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    Lukus wrote:
    Armoured_Bear wrote:
    Lukus wrote:
    Dirtbox wrote:
    I find the best way is to go to the pub and chat to people.
    That just makes you the weirdo at the pub who chats to everyone.
    You're not shy and shit scared of talking to people by any chance?
    No. I tend not to talk to random men in pubs though.
    Your loss.

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  • Deleted user 30 April 2013 22:57:14
    There's a difference between striking up conversation with the occasional random and talking to everyone you see, though. The latters are definitely weirdos.
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