Making friends as an adult Page 2

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  • Leolian 30 Apr 2013 20:48:52 1,054 posts
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    philreeduk wrote:
    Not tried it myself but could be good if you find a group with similar interests in your area

    http://www.meetup.com/find/
    Whiffs of desperation. That's a concern anyway. I think I need to join a football or tennis team and commit to more than regular
    Club nights. Best friends came from uni and football teams.
  • THFourteen 30 Apr 2013 20:49:19 31,837 posts
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    Buy a ticket to a football match off Dougs and then stalk him for five years.

    Seriously though, it is difficult, although I work in the city and there is nearly always someone in my office asking if people want a pint. Wouldn't call them friends tho, more colleagues.

    As I've gotten older, work, gym and sleep get in the way of most things, so I generally only want to drink twice a week, tends to be once at Arsenal game, and then once with school friends.

    Same situation as you with my uni mates, I see them now and then because they all live away from London.
  • Maturin 30 Apr 2013 20:50:36 2,750 posts
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    I don't think you make the same strength friendships one does when young - such as at university. Which is fine if you keep the old friendships. I'm in the situation where I don't see my old friends very much for the following:

    I'm originally from Manchester. But I moved to London nine years ago and four years ago to Dorset. So I rarely see my old friends from back home. I keep in touch via Facebook - it's my only real use for the horrid thing - to keep in touch with a few old friends (I have fewer than 40 contacts, all people I know personally).

    One of my best mates from uni lives near Darlington, which is a hell of a long way from Dorset. We've known each other 20 years. With us both having young families meeting up isn't a regular thing. We last had a beer together in 2009 - even though we still run a website together now and chat via the net every day.

    Having a family of young kids means I don't get out and about like I used to. To be honest I have no close friends nearby. I can't say it bothers me that much. I think it would have done when I was younger.
  • RightBean 30 Apr 2013 20:53:21 607 posts
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    I don't have any friends, I mostly blame the internet for that. Life would have been so different.
  • Lukus 30 Apr 2013 21:01:02 18,955 posts
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    Making new friends is fucking impossible. Especially new male friends. But that might just be me not caring about football and stuff.

    Paintings & Photographs

  • Dirtbox 30 Apr 2013 21:01:42 76,372 posts
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    I find the best way is to go to the pub and chat to people.

    +1 / Like / Tweet this post

  • Triggerhappytel 30 Apr 2013 21:07:41 2,664 posts
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    SparkyMarky81 wrote:
    I wonder how many Facebook 'friends' everyone posting here has. Just shows what bollocks Facebook is. I have loads and of them, I speak to about 10 of them regularly.
    That's pretty much the reason I'm not on there. I cannot be bothered with that glorified popularity contest.

    I'm 30, still keep in touch with a bunch of pals from school, but I've moved away now and only really see them 3 or 4 times a year. My wife and I have friends where we live now, but while she's close with some of the other mums, I'm bundled with the other dads as required, but not really close to any of them. I've got a few pals through work, one of whom I'm very close to, and I joined a choir a couple of years ago who are a really good bunch of folk I see once a week.

    I'm not sporty or anything, but I know there's a film club in town which I've never got around to checking out. That's the sort of thing I'd have to go for to meet people, as I don't really drink and I'm shite at small talk, so I'd need a distinct common interest to at least break the ice initially.
  • Load_2.0 30 Apr 2013 21:10:11 18,234 posts
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    Biggest issue is that I am lazy, talking to people is hard work and I do it all day at work.

    I just want to cut straight to the paedo jokes and drunken "I love you man's" without all the preceeding chit chat.
  • Deckard1 30 Apr 2013 21:10:36 25,499 posts
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    Facebook really isn't a popularity contest.

    Called it

  • Maturin 30 Apr 2013 21:11:33 2,750 posts
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    I now live in a small village in Dorset. We do have a pub. But most evenings I need to stay home and look after the kids as my wife works a lot of evenings. Doesn't leave much room for socialising.
  • bitch_tits_zero_nine 30 Apr 2013 21:12:32 6,654 posts
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    Pubs seem to be shutting down by the bucket load. Social trend.
  • Dougs 30 Apr 2013 21:12:57 64,963 posts
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    I think load has hit the nail on the head. The reason most of us gave few friends is laziness. We are mostly blokes after all.
  • Dougs 30 Apr 2013 21:13:53 64,963 posts
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    And my local is full of pikey alkies. Like all locals I guess
  • Maturin 30 Apr 2013 21:19:07 2,750 posts
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    Dougs wrote:
    And my local is full of pikey alkies. Like all locals I guess
    Mines full of rich Tory landowners and yokel farmers.
  • Spanky 30 Apr 2013 21:23:46 14,449 posts
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    There are several options:
    Become a drug addict.
    Arrange EG meets.
    Join the church.
    Go to one of these meetup.com groups about sommat you give a shit about.
    Get a niche sexual deviancy, tranny makeup art fetishist.
    Stop being a dick.
    Join the forces.

    Plubs

  • bitch_tits_zero_nine 30 Apr 2013 21:26:26 6,654 posts
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    there you go.
  • Madder-Max 30 Apr 2013 21:27:30 11,575 posts
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    I'm pretty antisocial to be honest and found maintainin friendships draining as a young adult and was not very good at it. Couldn't figure it out (prolly thought too much)now married with kids, so friendships are largely irrelevent as I also work anti social hours and that suits me just fine.

    99 problems and being ginger is one

  • ibenam 30 Apr 2013 21:30:27 1,279 posts
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    morriss wrote:
    I have about two "friends" but loads of mates - most of those I work with. Cliche time but my best friend is my wife.
    Isnt mates just the northern term for friends?
  • Madder-Max 30 Apr 2013 21:37:34 11,575 posts
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    Oh and yeah the sports thing. I really have no interest in football and minimal interest in rugby which does not help. Not many peoploe respond well to openers about gaming or politics

    99 problems and being ginger is one

  • Dougs 30 Apr 2013 21:41:00 64,963 posts
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    Maturin wrote:
    Dougs wrote:
    And my local is full of pikey alkies. Like all locals I guess
    Mines full of rich Tory landowners and yokel farmers.
    When i first moved here, I tried to get along with them as I missed proper pub time but I couldn't. My biggest problem was that they didn't seem to know where to draw the line. I'd go in with my wife and they wouldn't leave us alone. Give it a rest!
  • Armoured_Bear 30 Apr 2013 21:42:41 8,784 posts
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    Most of my post uni mates have been from work or pubs, having lived in so many places my mates are spread all over which is a bit crap.

    XBL : ecosse011172
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  • Armoured_Bear 30 Apr 2013 21:45:29 8,784 posts
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    I was in the pub last week with some Colombian mates and as we left we chatted to a few friendly and fit girls, they meet through the glocals website. If I were single I'd be straight on there :-)

    BTW Doing courses is great for meeting people, my gf did a Sushi course, made friends with a girl through whom we've made plenty of other mates.

    XBL : ecosse011172
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  • elstoof 30 Apr 2013 21:47:50 6,145 posts
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    Seems like it was a lot easier before everyone spent their socialising time on the Internet. My friends mum always had a new special friend round their house every time I hang out at his, if only I'd thought to ask her how at the time.
  • sport 30 Apr 2013 21:53:04 12,059 posts
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    Could it be that ecosse is the most socially successful EGer ever?!?!?!
  • Lukus 30 Apr 2013 21:53:19 18,955 posts
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    Dirtbox wrote:
    I find the best way is to go to the pub and chat to people.
    That just makes you the weirdo at the pub who chats to everyone.

    Paintings & Photographs

  • Deleted user 30 April 2013 21:54:03
    SparkyMarky81 wrote:
    I wonder how many Facebook 'friends' everyone posting here has. Just shows what bollocks Facebook is. I have loads and of them, I speak to about 10 of them regularly.
    This is nonsense, Facebook is great for this exact reason. I might not keep in regular contact with hundreds of friends-turn-acquaintances but I care enough to know what they are up to and get in touch now and then.

    Edited by mowgli at 22:10:09 30-04-2013
  • ronuds 30 Apr 2013 22:05:29 21,788 posts
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    Joining Facebook is the smartest thing I never did.
  • RightBean 30 Apr 2013 22:07:13 607 posts
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    Why?
  • ronuds 30 Apr 2013 22:09:41 21,788 posts
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    All I hear are stories about how annoying it is to be a member.
  • Deleted user 30 April 2013 22:12:30
    RightBean wrote:
    Why?
    Great being able to have all past and present friends in one place?

    I get how cool it is to hate it for being popular but facebook is fucking great.
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