Making friends as an adult

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  • Leolian 30 Apr 2013 19:41:21 1,050 posts
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    So as I turn 33, I've found most of my existing friends have moved away (most straight after university), are breeding or their interests simply no longer intersect with mine. A common problem no doubt. How about you lot? Anyone hanging around with the same crowd since you were 16? Or from university? Anyone had success finding a new group of friends? From work? From joining a sports club? From joining a local gaming group? I'd be interested to know. Most times I've made casual friends , but never really clicked with anyone.
  • beastmaster 30 Apr 2013 19:43:43 10,176 posts
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    I still see some of my mates I knew since I was 10 on a weekly basis but we all live near each other. Most of them got married and had kids. I took up Cuban salsa lessons and have met some great friends through that.

    The Resident Evil films. I'm one of the reasons they keep making them.

  • Deleted user 30 April 2013 19:45:59
    Moved on from my 16 year old crowd at around 18. Kinda made a point of being an anti social git at uni just in order to actual focus (did have fun like just that the normal 'omg freedom' didn't really apply to me). Made lots of friends working, doing sports and volunteering but never really see them unless doing said activity. My problem is I don't enjoy going out partying. I love a quiet drink at the pub but I don't ever seem to meet these people, only the ones wanting to go out and get 'wrecked'. :/
  • superdelphinus 30 Apr 2013 19:47:06 7,265 posts
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    you should be married by now
  • FWB 30 Apr 2013 19:47:10 41,941 posts
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    Work. Almost all now through work somewhere. Here and abroad.

    Not in contact with anyone from school here, but then I moved abroad at a young age and then came back. Am am in touch with those from Canada though. University... didint really stay in contact with anyone beyond a few years. Don't feel bad about it. Got enough friends to keep me busy as it is.

    Edited by FWB at 19:47:59 30-04-2013
  • ronuds 30 Apr 2013 19:48:19 21,788 posts
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    I do organized recreational sports and it's a smorgasbord of friends.

    Of course, you'd have to be athletic.
  • FWB 30 Apr 2013 19:50:02 41,941 posts
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    Organised. Sports. Two words together that I shudder at. Much prefer disorganised sports.
  • Kosmoz 30 Apr 2013 19:50:28 7,509 posts
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    I only speak to one person that I went to school with. No one from uni. Most of my current friends I met through a friend that I met at a gig.

    Every girl I ever kissed I was thinking of a pro footballer.

  • Leolian 30 Apr 2013 19:50:38 1,050 posts
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    superdelphinus wrote:
    you should be married by now
    I am.
  • TheSaint 30 Apr 2013 19:51:06 13,629 posts
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    Here you go:

    uk.adultfriendfinder.com

    I assume that's what the site is for anyway.

    Edited by TheSaint at 19:51:28 30-04-2013
  • graysonavich 30 Apr 2013 19:51:44 6,802 posts
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    Do you even needs friends as an adult?

    Wake up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, go to bed.
  • superdelphinus 30 Apr 2013 19:52:11 7,265 posts
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    then you should know that 'friends' are really just diversions from having to spend too much time with each other. If you have a kid then it really just extends that notion, and makes even having to have something in common with the other adults beyond both having children, largely irrelevant
  • Deleted user 30 April 2013 19:54:33
    Yeah same man. I still have a core group of small friends from school and college but only see them 1 of twice a month. But they are still my best mates.

    Uni friends have all moved to london, been out of uni for almost 4 years now. And see them 1 or twice a year. Which is a bit shit really, they keep in contact and want me to move up there. Which i am considering. Just to have a social life again really.

    I go pub most friday nights with two guys who i met through one of my school mates who does a lot of music youth workshops. They are really cool guys, but i'm not really part of a big friend group anymore that go out and do stuff. One of the two has just moved away as well.

    Work is shit for making friends has most of them are all old. OLD. Though have a couple of good friends there, one girl recently started who i been getting on well with.

    But yeah social life is a bit shit really. Most of them all have girlfriends/boyfriends so i don't get to see them much as work and relationships take up time to be free really. So i then don't really get to meet women either through friends of friends or just going out, which then leads to me just being awkward round women.
  • FWB 30 Apr 2013 19:54:34 41,941 posts
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    Just a diversion? From TOO much time with a partner? They're saviours that ensure you don't have to socialise with the same person. That you can have some variety in your life and not go insane.
  • ibenam 30 Apr 2013 19:58:21 1,272 posts
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    I have one friend from college, the remaining from work.

    As i move workplaces i dispose of the old and recruit new upgraded friends.

    This helps keep my life fresh and interesting.

    /is a rotten git
  • Load_2.0 30 Apr 2013 20:10:47 18,193 posts
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    Try 36 years old.

    I get less texts than a German library in 1933.
  • ZuluHero 30 Apr 2013 20:11:28 3,661 posts
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    I have good friends I've known since childhood and college and uni but have made new friends through work over the past 10 years. Thankfully I work in an office and industry where people click.

    Do you work with people who might be into the same things as you? We goto the pub, cinema, play board games, online games etc.

    I'm 33.

    Edited by ZuluHero at 20:11:59 30-04-2013
  • SparkyMarky81 30 Apr 2013 20:12:59 528 posts
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    I am still close with some old school buddies, despite being in my very early thirties. It's kind of nice still having that link to my childhood, and people to share memories with.

    Naturally, we don't see each other as much as we used to, and we don't all share the same interests but that doesn't bother me really.

    I've never really been one for making friends through work as I try to keep my work and my private life separate. I do socialise with colleagues but I wouldn't really refer to them as real friends. I think it's because, in order to maintain my professionalism, I can't really fully relax and be myself in the office.

    Sport has made me more friends than anything else. Apart from keeping me fit, football has helped me make some real friendships that have lasted years. The social side of joining a footy club is more important to me than the enjoyment of the sport itself.
  • SuperCoolEskimo 30 Apr 2013 20:15:53 9,529 posts
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    Deleted

    Edited by SuperCoolEskimo at 20:18:25 30-04-2013
  • Dougs 30 Apr 2013 20:17:07 64,900 posts
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    39 and I have one friend within 20 miles of me who I see twice a year. But I see other friends pretty regularly in London, at least once/twice a month - all uni/football mates, with the odd work do thrown in.

    Come weekends though, I want to spend it with my wife and kids. Unless we have visitors, I'm quite happy to be a sociopath and avoid people. Dreading the kids going to school, I'm going to have to make small talk again, aren't I?
  • cubbymoore 30 Apr 2013 20:17:07 36,441 posts
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    I'm terrible at making friends. I think I'm just averse to liking people. Everyone winds me up for some reason or other.

    That said, I find doing some sort of group in the evenings certainly helps even me make friends I otherwise wouldn't have.
  • SparkyMarky81 30 Apr 2013 20:20:01 528 posts
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    I wonder how many Facebook 'friends' everyone posting here has. Just shows what bollocks Facebook is. I have loads and of them, I speak to about 10 of them regularly.
  • thelzdking 30 Apr 2013 20:21:13 3,961 posts
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    No one is cool enough to roll with me.
  • ZuluHero 30 Apr 2013 20:22:29 3,661 posts
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    SparkyMarky81 wrote:
    I wonder how many Facebook 'friends' everyone posting here has. Just shows what bollocks Facebook is. I have loads and of them, I speak to about 10 of them regularly.
    Face what?
  • mrpon 30 Apr 2013 20:31:10 27,645 posts
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    Leolian wrote:
    superdelphinus wrote:
    you should be married by now
    I am.
    Have kids.

    Give yourself 5 or gig, you're worth it.

  • philreeduk 30 Apr 2013 20:40:18 257 posts
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    Not tried it myself but could be good if you find a group with similar interests in your area

    http://www.meetup.com/find/
  • bitch_tits_zero_nine 30 Apr 2013 20:40:23 6,654 posts
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    dogging
  • morriss 30 Apr 2013 20:41:27 70,749 posts
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    I have about two "friends" but loads of mates - most of those I work with. Cliche time but my best friend is my wife.
  • ZuluHero 30 Apr 2013 20:44:49 3,661 posts
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    All together now...

    Awwwwww.....
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