The many ways porn has lied to us Page 2

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  • morriss 26 Apr 2013 12:00:46 71,002 posts
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    Women don't like you spitting at their clitoris. Dribble, perhaps, but gobbing, no.
  • Dougs 26 Apr 2013 12:01:25 67,802 posts
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    Most women orgasm through intercourse only.
  • AceGrace 26 Apr 2013 12:02:59 1,111 posts
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    That if you drop your pants in front of any women she will instantly start noshing you off.
  • CharlieStCloud 26 Apr 2013 12:05:02 5,202 posts
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    Italian women are, after thorough participation, the best in bed.

    Fact.



    Edited by CharlieStCloud at 12:06:02 26-04-2013
  • Dirtbox 26 Apr 2013 12:05:29 78,221 posts
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    Japanese girls don't have mosaiced genetalia.

    And neither do Chinese men.

    +1 / Like / Tweet this post

  • mcmonkeyplc 26 Apr 2013 12:06:26 39,458 posts
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    Women always suck you off before you fuck them.

    Come and get it cumslingers!

  • mrpon 26 Apr 2013 12:06:51 28,937 posts
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    smoothpete wrote:
    - In real life, bums have poo in them
    Douchebag.

    Give yourself 5 or gig, you're worth it.

  • AceGrace 26 Apr 2013 12:07:58 1,111 posts
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    Women are always shaved downstairs and have had their poo holes bleached.
  • smoothpete 26 Apr 2013 12:14:17 31,516 posts
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    Underwear is far more likely to be tatty old M&S big pants then some kind of string-based affair
  • Tryhard 26 Apr 2013 12:18:59 3,976 posts
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    smoothpete wrote:
    Underwear is far more likely to be tatty old M&S big pants then some kind of string-based affair
    I bet your women take their false teeth out for you to,before sucking on your pleasure.And on special days remove that chunk of pizza that has been hidden under the right breast for a week.:-P
  • smoothpete 26 Apr 2013 12:19:38 31,516 posts
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    Hey I was saving that pizza
  • morriss 26 Apr 2013 12:19:40 71,002 posts
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    Hilarious.
  • morriss 26 Apr 2013 12:19:40 71,002 posts
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    Hilarious.
  • Rodney 26 Apr 2013 12:22:22 1,900 posts
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    Women only moan with orgasmic pleasure when they are stimulated not just when they are wanking you off
  • elstoof 26 Apr 2013 12:24:55 7,395 posts
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    You can maintain an erection even though 8 highly unattractive blokes are stood around you slowly masturbating while you take your turn on the sedated "19 year old".
  • Dr.Haggard 26 Apr 2013 12:25:13 4,208 posts
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    Salaman wrote:
    Deckard1 wrote:
    kinky_mong wrote:
    A "squirter" just dribbles a bit of fluid when heavily stimulated, rather than sending jets of mimsy juice flying across the room.
    Those squirters you see in porn are actually pissing
    That's quite an impressive feat of willpower and bladder control. I sometimes have trouble getting the flow going standing fully clothed at the urinal because someone else comes and stand (also fully clothed) at the next one.

    These girls usually have some guy enthusiastically shoving something up them right until the second they release the floodgates.
    No it is actually a genuine and involuntary reflex. I guess if it's something you see in porn then I wouldn't be surprised if some of them are faking it, which I imagine would take some practice! But it's a real thing.
  • twelveways 26 Apr 2013 12:25:41 4,023 posts
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    girls are not always that into rimming.
  • Deckard1 26 Apr 2013 12:26:43 28,038 posts
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    - getting a woman to give you a blowjob requires hours, sometimes days of strategic planning and manipulation. She doesn't just do it because she likes the taste.
  • bitch_tits_zero_nine 26 Apr 2013 12:27:24 6,654 posts
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    lezzers are beautiful
  • Salaman 26 Apr 2013 12:28:40 19,076 posts
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    Dr.Haggard wrote:
    Salaman wrote:
    Deckard1 wrote:
    kinky_mong wrote:
    A "squirter" just dribbles a bit of fluid when heavily stimulated, rather than sending jets of mimsy juice flying across the room.
    Those squirters you see in porn are actually pissing
    That's quite an impressive feat of willpower and bladder control. I sometimes have trouble getting the flow going standing fully clothed at the urinal because someone else comes and stand (also fully clothed) at the next one.

    These girls usually have some guy enthusiastically shoving something up them right until the second they release the floodgates.
    No it is actually a genuine and involuntary reflex. I guess if it's something you see in porn then I wouldn't be surprised if some of them are faking it, which I imagine would take some practice! But it's a real thing.
    I was talking about women being able to fake it by peeing.
  • Rusty_M 26 Apr 2013 12:29:29 4,692 posts
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    If you grope someone on a train, they generally slap you instead of standing there like nothing's happened.

    The world is going mad. Me? I'm doing fine.

  • B0rked_Gamer 26 Apr 2013 12:32:35 2,720 posts
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    Rusty_M wrote:
    If you grope someone on a train, they generally slap you instead of standing there like nothing's happened.
    Speaking from experience? ;)
  • kinky_mong 26 Apr 2013 12:34:50 10,295 posts
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    Salaman wrote:
    Dr.Haggard wrote:
    Salaman wrote:
    Deckard1 wrote:
    kinky_mong wrote:
    A "squirter" just dribbles a bit of fluid when heavily stimulated, rather than sending jets of mimsy juice flying across the room.
    Those squirters you see in porn are actually pissing
    That's quite an impressive feat of willpower and bladder control. I sometimes have trouble getting the flow going standing fully clothed at the urinal because someone else comes and stand (also fully clothed) at the next one.

    These girls usually have some guy enthusiastically shoving something up them right until the second they release the floodgates.
    No it is actually a genuine and involuntary reflex. I guess if it's something you see in porn then I wouldn't be surprised if some of them are faking it, which I imagine would take some practice! But it's a real thing.
    I was talking about women being able to fake it by peeing.
    Actually it's often some sort of water filled douche placed inside their love tunnel that they squeeze internal to gush out on demand. I have researched this thoroughly!

    All the eurogamers who actually play with each other on xbl rather than just post pseudointellectual pc handwringing bollocks on the forums, love the shit out of biggy.

  • Deleted user 26 April 2013 12:37:24
    kinky_mong wrote:
    Salaman wrote:
    Dr.Haggard wrote:
    Salaman wrote:
    Deckard1 wrote:
    kinky_mong wrote:
    A "squirter" just dribbles a bit of fluid when heavily stimulated, rather than sending jets of mimsy juice flying across the room.
    Those squirters you see in porn are actually pissing
    That's quite an impressive feat of willpower and bladder control. I sometimes have trouble getting the flow going standing fully clothed at the urinal because someone else comes and stand (also fully clothed) at the next one.

    These girls usually have some guy enthusiastically shoving something up them right until the second they release the floodgates.
    No it is actually a genuine and involuntary reflex. I guess if it's something you see in porn then I wouldn't be surprised if some of them are faking it, which I imagine would take some practice! But it's a real thing.
    I was talking about women being able to fake it by peeing.
    Actually it's often some sort of water filled douche placed inside their love tunnel that they squeeze internal to gush out on demand. I have researched this thoroughly!
    Is this the female equivalent of the guys' having a thin transparent tube underneath their shaft filled with egg white so that when they come it flies further than a North Korean ICBM?
  • mrpon 26 Apr 2013 12:37:58 28,937 posts
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    This really isn't thread to read whilst eating lunch.

    Give yourself 5 or gig, you're worth it.

  • smoothpete 26 Apr 2013 12:40:31 31,516 posts
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    Some guys have powergush. Often I'm like, "go long darling, this one is a biggie". Then BOOM firehose style
  • kinky_mong 26 Apr 2013 12:44:20 10,295 posts
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    Anal sex isn't a case of simply pulling out of the vagina and then hammering away in the other hole just as before. That change in camera angle was to cut out footage of the girl pouring gallons of lube down her dirtbox.

    All the eurogamers who actually play with each other on xbl rather than just post pseudointellectual pc handwringing bollocks on the forums, love the shit out of biggy.

  • Rusty_M 26 Apr 2013 12:52:56 4,692 posts
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    B0rked_Gamer wrote:
    Rusty_M wrote:
    If you grope someone on a train, they generally slap you instead of standing there like nothing's happened.
    Speaking from experience? ;)
    No. That wasn't me. It was...erm... some other guy. Er... She imagined it all. I didn't rip her top off, it was like that when I got there.

    The world is going mad. Me? I'm doing fine.

  • MrTomFTW Moderator 26 Apr 2013 12:55:25 38,265 posts
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    I don't want to hear about people lubing up Dirtbox.

    Follow me on Twitter: @MrTom
    Voted by the community "Best mod" 2011, 2012 and 2013.

  • Ged42 26 Apr 2013 12:55:54 7,732 posts
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    kinky_mong wrote:
    Anal sex isn't a case of simply pulling out of the vagina and then hammering away in the other hole just as before. That change in camera angle was to cut out footage of the girl pouring gallons of lube down her dirtbox.
    Poor Dirtbox
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