The many ways porn has lied to us Page 7

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  • MrTomFTW Moderator 27 Apr 2013 18:36:11 37,302 posts
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    Two words:

    Cake farts

    Follow me on Twitter: @MrTom
    Voted by the community "Best mod" 2011, 2012 and 2013.

  • MrTomFTW Moderator 27 Apr 2013 18:36:31 37,302 posts
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    Now that is how you start a new page!

    Follow me on Twitter: @MrTom
    Voted by the community "Best mod" 2011, 2012 and 2013.

  • Rusty_M 27 Apr 2013 18:38:23 4,565 posts
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    If it's fizzing, you might want to get that checked out.

    The world is going mad. Me? I'm doing fine.

  • ZuluHero 27 Apr 2013 19:04:34 4,018 posts
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    HairyArse wrote:
    ZuluHero wrote:
    I think its partly to do with that women grow up while men don't. We want to young and promiscuous forever.
    Growing up doesn't mean you have to stop enjoying sex and not bother making an effort anymore. Far too many people get married and then stop giving a shit.
    On one hand i agree with you. On the other we're taking about it in a thread about porn :)

    Edited by ZuluHero at 19:05:02 27-04-2013
  • Triggerhappytel 27 Apr 2013 19:06:47 2,667 posts
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    Your friends' mums are never that hot.

    If a woman walks in and catches you masturbating she's more likely to phone the police than fuck you.

    It's not cool to go up the back passage without prior discussion and agreement.
  • FanBoysSuck 27 Apr 2013 19:49:56 1,441 posts
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    Triggerhappytel wrote:
    Your friends' mums are never that hot.

    If a woman walks in and catches you masturbating she's more likely to phone the police than fuck you.

    It's not cool to go up the back passage without prior discussion and agreement.
    I actually had a mate with a super hot mum back in my teans (Cat Dealey's younger cousin) but aside from that spot on.

    I've yet to hear any of my mates convince their better halves to go on the dirt track. Even the gay ones are strictly oral.

    For the emperor!

  • Dirtbox 27 Apr 2013 20:06:03 77,461 posts
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    There is no hot cock action on my dominos delivery menu.

    +1 / Like / Tweet this post

  • FanBoysSuck 27 Apr 2013 20:12:35 1,441 posts
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    Dirtbox wrote:
    There is no hot cock action on my dominos delivery menu.
    You want to be selecting the hot dog stuffed crust for that.

    For the emperor!

  • jonsaan 27 Apr 2013 20:37:41 25,326 posts
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    When women look at a man and bite their bottom lip, it is not a precursor to full, dirty sex there and then.

    It does usually mean they want it though...

    FCUTA!

  • DrStrangelove 27 Apr 2013 21:07:13 3,365 posts
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    Triggerhappytel wrote:
    Your friends' mums are never that hot.

    If a woman walks in and catches you masturbating she's more likely to phone the police than fuck you.
    Real women are weird.
  • jonsaan 27 Apr 2013 21:09:34 25,326 posts
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    My sister once walked in on me playing Daley Thompson's Decathlon on the speccy and thought I was wanking :(

    She didn't fuck me either :(

    FCUTA!

  • jonsaan 27 Apr 2013 21:09:46 25,326 posts
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    ;)

    FCUTA!

  • Razz 27 Apr 2013 21:11:37 60,750 posts
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    I could fap to that

    Edited by Razz at 21:32:56 27-04-2013

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    Steam/PSN/XBOX: Razztafarai | 3DS: 1246-9674-8856
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  • MrTomFTW Moderator 27 Apr 2013 21:20:14 37,302 posts
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    Oh Ice King, you're so creepy.

    Follow me on Twitter: @MrTom
    Voted by the community "Best mod" 2011, 2012 and 2013.

  • Razz 27 Apr 2013 21:32:09 60,750 posts
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    I'll put it in a spoiler tag so it doesn't get annoying

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    Steam/PSN/XBOX: Razztafarai | 3DS: 1246-9674-8856
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  • bitch_tits_zero_nine 27 Apr 2013 21:38:31 6,654 posts
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    Eastern European courtship ritual doesn't start with a gang of lads in a car stalking a chick, and end with a spitroast.
  • ZuluHero 27 Apr 2013 22:51:15 4,018 posts
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    FanBoysSuck wrote:
    I've yet to hear any of my mates convince their better halves to go on the dirt track. Even the gay ones are strictly oral.
    My friend did. The actual event was quite nice (for him) but what put him off after that one time, was when he pulled out and could feel extra, er, weight on the end of his thingy. Looked down and there was a big lump of poop stuck to the end.

    This story was enough to put me off even thinking about this for life, and it scarred me so much I couldn't even watch porn if it starts to go in that direction.

    Bottoms are for output, not input! Though on topic, I bet this is something porn has lied to us about...
  • SparkyMarky81 27 Apr 2013 22:56:13 562 posts
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    That moustaches are irresistible to women.
  • webespresso 27 Apr 2013 23:13:31 89 posts
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    Shikasama wrote:
    RyanDS wrote:
    Pepsipop wrote:
    Very amusing thread.

    Men don't have foot long penises.

    Men can't last for ages before cuming.

    Men actually sweat a lot.

    They are not all muscular.
    Stop talking about yourself for fucks sake, not all men are as useless as you in bed.
    You realise he's a she?
    It's that Spartan dude pretending to be a female innit? If I'm wrong let her/him/it provide incontrovertible proof of their membership in the boobed gender's club.
  • Deleted user 27 April 2013 23:15:32
    *Sigh
  • ibenam 27 Apr 2013 23:37:31 1,344 posts
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    jonsaan wrote:
    My sister once walked in on me playing Daley Thompson's Decathlon on the speccy and thought I was wanking :(

    She didn't fuck me either :(
    Just a sloppy blowjob then?
  • ibenam 27 Apr 2013 23:38:39 1,344 posts
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    Hentai is NOT real.
  • Razz 27 Apr 2013 23:44:20 60,750 posts
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    You can make it real if you try hard enough



    Edited by Razz at 23:44:52 27-04-2013

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    Steam/PSN/XBOX: Razztafarai | 3DS: 1246-9674-8856
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  • SparkyMarky81 28 Apr 2013 00:07:07 562 posts
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    If someone walks in on you having sex, they will join in. No questions asked.

    Also, being made to suck a cock is suitable and acceptable punishment for secretaries who make a mistake.
  • Salaman 29 Apr 2013 09:58:40 18,854 posts
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    Nades wrote:
    I heard they aren't aloud to eat for 12 hours or something.
    That's major surgery you're thinking of, not anal.
  • twelveways 29 Apr 2013 10:29:54 3,843 posts
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    I often confuse the two too, I guess it's the gloves and speculum that does it.
  • Nades 1 May 2013 16:03:34 1,032 posts
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    @Salaman It could be for both lol.

    Liverpool FC

  • Ryze 3 May 2013 11:02:36 3,121 posts
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    morriss wrote:
    I've met women like that, and I've absolutely wanted to do the things you inexplicably say you wouldn't.

    I've also had a girl masturbate and lick her own nipples during intercourse. It didn't last much longer after that.

    If you actually want to avoid those situations, there's something fundamentally wrong with you.
    Heh, the issue with these girls is often what they're like OUT of the bedroom, and also how she behaves around OTHER guys as well.

    I once heard a girl I met at a party say that sometimes she just wants ANYONE to touch her, if she feels a certain way.

    I know that can be interpreted in many ways, but it was pretty clear by that stage that she WAS anyone's and that's pretty problematic in the long term. However convenient it may be.
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