The many ways porn has lied to us Page 6

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  • Deleted user 27 April 2013 17:22:45
    As a young Dr many years ago I quickly learnt that:

    1.) Nurse uniforms don't make girls sexy
    2.) 95% of all nurses are NOT hot
    3.) No nurse wants to flirt with me
    4.) No nurse wants to suck my cock

    Crushing realisation that medicine from that point onward would always be shite.

    Damn you porn should have been a plumber they get all the juice
  • Deleted user 27 April 2013 17:26:29
    What is porns obsession with anal?
  • neilka 27 Apr 2013 17:27:29 16,101 posts
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    What's wrong with anal, PP?

    Lastly, I am gay, disabled, and a liberal.

  • ibenam 27 Apr 2013 17:33:12 1,437 posts
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    Graveland wrote:
    Slightly different twist, but things I hate seeing in porn include:

    - Fake tits

    - Fisting

    - Cock rammed down the woman's throat

    - Any form of foot worship. Yuck.

    - American porn in general. They don't fuck, they fight one another with their genitals whilst snarling and grimacing at one another.

    - Fake, loud and obnoxious orgasms.

    - Close-ups on blowjobs. Why would any hetero guy want to see a veiny cock covered in drool?

    - Any form of throttling. It's only a turn-on in snuff films.

    - 'Lesbian' porn in general. About as authentic as religious peace in Afghanistan.

    - Pissing/squirting porn.
    You would make a great porn director :D
  • dominalien 27 Apr 2013 17:34:13 6,968 posts
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    There's a niche somewhere there just waiting to be filled.

    PSN: DonOsito

  • Deleted user 27 April 2013 17:37:45
    neilka wrote:
    What's wrong with anal, PP?
    It's not designed with that in mind.
  • elstoof 27 Apr 2013 17:39:35 7,504 posts
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    The up the arse, head stuffed into the corner of the sofa, leg looped over and foot jammed into the chicks face is pretty much the only porn that gets me off at this point.
  • Deleted user 27 April 2013 17:40:45
    Pepsipop wrote:
    What is porns obsession with anal?
    Men are dirt bags.
  • elstoof 27 Apr 2013 17:41:19 7,504 posts
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    Pepsipop wrote:
    neilka wrote:
    What's wrong with anal, PP?
    It's not designed with that in mind.
    Hands weren't designed with fingering in mind, is that wrong too?
  • Deleted user 27 April 2013 17:42:48
    What kind of riposte is that?
  • mrpon 27 Apr 2013 17:43:10 28,990 posts
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    I liked the bit where he makes her suck his big toe.

    Give yourself 5 or gig, you're worth it.

  • Deleted user 27 April 2013 17:43:14
    No.
  • Nades 27 Apr 2013 17:44:27 1,327 posts
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    @elstoof Hahaha fucking hell, getting some good laughs outta this thread :D

    Liverpool FC
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  • Deleted user 27 April 2013 17:45:12
    Watched some good porn last week only it turned into a nightmare when this girl started licking the guys ass...........No no no no

    Who would enjoy that FFS!!!!
  • Nades 27 Apr 2013 17:47:43 1,327 posts
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    Oh Jesus lol. My mate told me about this porno where the girl was licking the guys arse, then he farted, called her a bitch, slapped her and walked off wtf hahaa.

    Liverpool FC
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    XbL: Nades x
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  • Deleted user 27 April 2013 17:47:44
    I never understand it when blokes watch porn together. Why would you?
  • Nades 27 Apr 2013 17:49:04 1,327 posts
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    Makes them feel less of a pervert?

    Liverpool FC
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  • dominalien 27 Apr 2013 17:51:01 6,968 posts
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    HairyArse wrote:
    I never understand it when blokes watch porn together. Why would you?
    So they can wank each other off?

    I don't know, people are fucked up.

    PSN: DonOsito

  • Deleted user 27 April 2013 17:52:24
    I once went to visit my mate in the army at Wellington Barracks and 12 blokes were all sat watching porn together.
  • dominalien 27 Apr 2013 17:53:43 6,968 posts
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    Yeah, the army will do that to you. They probably had group sex afterwards.

    PSN: DonOsito

  • Nades 27 Apr 2013 17:58:45 1,327 posts
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    Once when i was a kid, i felt like watching some Touring Cars which was taped off the TV. I put the VHS in and found out that some weird porn programme had been taped over my beloved Touring Cars ...i watched the whole thing lol.

    Liverpool FC
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  • b0rk 27 Apr 2013 18:02:47 2,767 posts
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    I've never really understood the appeal of porn. Isn't it just masturbatory material for the unimaginative?
  • dominalien 27 Apr 2013 18:04:59 6,968 posts
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    Yes.

    PSN: DonOsito

  • cubbymoore 27 Apr 2013 18:12:37 36,497 posts
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    B0rked_Gamer wrote:
    I've never really understood the appeal of porn. Isn't it just masturbatory material for the unimaginative?
    Well done you for being so imaginative.
  • Fatiguez 27 Apr 2013 18:14:06 8,744 posts
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    Jesus this thread is bringing the weirds out from their creepy lurker holes
  • morriss 27 Apr 2013 18:19:17 71,034 posts
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    I'm incredibly unimaginative. Almost every night, in fact.
  • Nades 27 Apr 2013 18:20:00 1,327 posts
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    Its bringing out the laughs that's what its doing.

    Liverpool FC
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  • Ka-blamo 27 Apr 2013 18:20:12 7,368 posts
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    It's only Ghetto Gaggers, Latina abuse and prolapsed rectum lesbian stuff that can get me hard these days....I'm a Ted Bundy in the making, and just think in my pre-internet teen days some softcore friday night channel 5 film was enough to have me spraying the insides of my Y fronts in fizzy wee.

    What...has.. become of me
  • Nades 27 Apr 2013 18:23:37 1,327 posts
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    You can hold your head up in pride compared to Jimmy Saville.

    Liverpool FC
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  • dominalien 27 Apr 2013 18:24:41 6,968 posts
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    You, ehm, "grew up"?

    PSN: DonOsito

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