The many ways porn has lied to us

  • Page

    of 7 First / Last

    Previous
  • smoothpete 26 Apr 2013 11:22:03 32,403 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    - Pubes

    - In real life, bums have poo in them

    - Sometimes the washing machine repairman is just there to fix the washing machine. I won't make that mistake again.
  • M83J01P97 26 Apr 2013 11:23:30 6,903 posts
    Seen 3 hours ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    - Women want, and enjoy sex.
  • OldCrow 26 Apr 2013 11:23:47 148 posts
    Seen 8 months ago
    Registered 3 years ago
    smoothpete wrote:

    - In real life, bums have poo in them
    Nothing a bit of bleach won't fix.
  • RobTheBuilder 26 Apr 2013 11:24:09 6,521 posts
    Seen 2 years ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    Plumbers DO NOT turn up that promptly
  • smoothpete 26 Apr 2013 11:25:18 32,403 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    - Women in fact take their high heels off before sexing
  • M83J01P97 26 Apr 2013 11:26:13 6,903 posts
    Seen 3 hours ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    LeoliansBro wrote:
    M83J01P97 wrote:
    - Women want, and enjoy sex.
    Loads do. I'm gusssing it's sex with you that's the problem.
    Seeing as I sleep with men, I think it's my problem really.
  • mcmonkeyplc 26 Apr 2013 11:26:21 39,936 posts
    Seen 1 day ago
    Registered 13 years ago
    People actually have sex?!
  • morriss 26 Apr 2013 11:26:57 71,284 posts
    Seen 3 months ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    - all women aren't into other women.

    That was a hard lesson.
  • nickthegun 26 Apr 2013 11:27:20 64,492 posts
    Seen 22 minutes ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    - Their minds never wander and start wanting it to be over after more than 10 minutes on the job.
  • MrTomFTW Moderator 26 Apr 2013 11:27:59 42,574 posts
    Seen 2 minutes ago
    Registered 12 years ago
    - Everyone lives in really nice, big houses.
  • Buztafen 26 Apr 2013 11:29:25 16,979 posts
    Seen 1 day ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    That most women actually enjoy a man slapping an erection against their foreheads and cheeks.

    Although Tulisa kind of ruined this one.
  • smoothpete 26 Apr 2013 11:31:59 32,403 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    - No straight man should ever knock sacks with another man, even if a lady is involved
  • Deleted user 26 April 2013 11:32:15
    Sex with schoolgirls has consequences.
  • RobTheBuilder 26 Apr 2013 11:32:29 6,521 posts
    Seen 2 years ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    Women don't actually talk in stupid high pitched nasal voices
  • Deleted user 26 April 2013 11:32:43
    - they never have to stop and just read a book because they're keeping the downstairs neighbours awake
  • Tryhard 26 Apr 2013 11:34:08 6,179 posts
    Seen 58 minutes ago
    Registered 5 years ago
    12 inch penis is the average size for all men,even Mr Bean.
  • DUFFMAN5 26 Apr 2013 11:34:10 17,207 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    Baseball bats are for...baseball
  • morriss 26 Apr 2013 11:36:48 71,284 posts
    Seen 3 months ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    women don't like choking until their eyes water on your penis.

    Another hard lesson.

    Edited by morriss at 11:37:24 26-04-2013
  • thedaveeyres 26 Apr 2013 11:38:36 12,189 posts
    Seen 4 hours ago
    Registered 9 years ago
    Ass to mouth isn't going to happen.

    Or ass to ass.

    Mouth to mouth is possible, however.
  • kinky_mong 26 Apr 2013 11:39:43 11,677 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 7 years ago
    A "squirter" just dribbles a bit of fluid when heavily stimulated, rather than sending jets of mimsy juice flying across the room.
  • MrTomFTW Moderator 26 Apr 2013 11:43:02 42,574 posts
    Seen 2 minutes ago
    Registered 12 years ago
    morriss wrote:
    Another hard lesson.
    I BET IT WAS!
  • Salaman 26 Apr 2013 11:49:26 20,591 posts
    Seen 1 day ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    If you wear white socks you don't get laid.
  • Deleted user 26 April 2013 11:50:23
    English girls are all bosted munters.
  • Salaman 26 Apr 2013 11:53:28 20,591 posts
    Seen 1 day ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    Deckard1 wrote:
    kinky_mong wrote:
    A "squirter" just dribbles a bit of fluid when heavily stimulated, rather than sending jets of mimsy juice flying across the room.
    Those squirters you see in porn are actually pissing
    That's quite an impressive feat of willpower and bladder control. I sometimes have trouble getting the flow going standing fully clothed at the urinal because someone else comes and stand (also fully clothed) at the next one.

    These girls usually have some guy enthusiastically shoving something up them right until the second they release the floodgates.
  • Tryhard 26 Apr 2013 11:55:03 6,179 posts
    Seen 58 minutes ago
    Registered 5 years ago
    You cannot fit a basketball,6 tins of lager, and three fists up one woman's A' hole at the same time.
  • smoothpete 26 Apr 2013 11:58:04 32,403 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    I'm constantly amazed at what people can put up their arses
  • MrTomFTW Moderator 26 Apr 2013 11:59:15 42,574 posts
    Seen 2 minutes ago
    Registered 12 years ago
    Tryhard wrote:
    You cannot fit a basketball,6 tins of lager, and three fists up one woman's A' hole at the same time.
    What an appropriate username.
  • Page

    of 7 First / Last

    Previous
Log in or register to reply