Childlessness Page 3

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  • ZuluHero 31 Dec 2012 18:04:31 3,668 posts
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    Also to get it done is free.

    To get it reversed isn't!
  • FWB 31 Dec 2012 18:04:39 41,998 posts
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    There are too many cunts on this planet. Myself being one. Thus I would hope any kid of mine could try and swing the balance away from that.
  • ZuluHero 31 Dec 2012 18:15:21 3,668 posts
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    Graveland wrote:
    mrpon wrote:
    I smell four kinds of shit daily. Cat is by far the worst.
    I don't think I've smelled anything quite as bad as cat shit, to be honest. It is utterly foul. No wonder the fuckers are so eager to bury it.
    In next door's garden!
  • sport 31 Dec 2012 18:17:31 12,047 posts
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    I'll tell you one thing about "free time". You really, REALLY fucking appreciate it when you have some.
  • Carlo 31 Dec 2012 18:25:33 17,913 posts
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    FWB wrote:
    Not every parent is a selfish dick who feels the world should revolve around them and their little farts.

    And your freedom does not go forever. Yes, the next 15 years will be heavy, but kids become adults. They go off and do their own thing.
    And eventually, they look after you;)

    PSN ID: Djini

  • jonsaan 31 Dec 2012 18:25:52 25,255 posts
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    You see that lonely old man in the nursing home over there, he felt the same way.

    :)

    Horses for courses Meme, do as you please innit.

    The only thing I would say is that sometimes, as life pans out differently for groups of friends, those who remain childless struggle to fit in socially as you simply do different stuff from day to day.

    Not saying that having kids is the best way forward. Just that some of the things you enjoy the freedom to do now, might not be around forever. Time waits for no man and all that.

    The beginning of UP should be noted too.

    Edited by jonsaan at 18:27:05 31-12-2012

    FCUTA!

  • ZuluHero 31 Dec 2012 18:29:46 3,668 posts
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    thats true. My friend and I traded lazy Sundays at our local for mad fun filled softplays with our kids (both similar age). I know another childless friend is pretty resentful of this, even though we couldn't go to the pub on a weekend during the day anymore anyway.

    He now just goes on his own. We still hang out with him, but he's not as happy these days.
  • mal 31 Dec 2012 18:45:12 21,990 posts
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    guts wrote:
    I'm 37 and was 25 when my little Em came about.
    You are Eric Morecambe AICMFP.

    Cubby didn't know how to turn off sigs!

  • MadCaddy13 31 Dec 2012 19:29:37 1,840 posts
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    Loads of my friends now have kids and they are all still on their bloody 20s. Have a life first I say. Have some stories to tell your children!
    I now feel pressured by them to have some of my own, but I'm definitely going to wait until I've had my fun
  • Khanivor 31 Dec 2012 19:31:21 39,894 posts
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    I used to hate kids. Annoying, noisy and without any social graces, they could all get fucked. Knew a fair number of friends who had kids young. Their offspring, I thought at the time, were nothing bu a pin in the arse. I wanted my freedom to party and do what I wanted, when I wanted, for whom I wanted.

    Then I was close to someone who had a wee boy of two years. Spent a lot of time around him. Some of which reinforced some of my negative opinions. But I also began to see the positives. The joy and innocence in kids, the inbuilt fascination humans have with how they behave.

    Then I met my current girlfriend. She has a daughter, who was six at the time. I've watched her grow for the last four years. I have raised her, watched her learn, develop and even take on some of my own characteristics. The pleasure you get from witnessing a little girl nearly make her mother puke by ripping out a ginat fart in her face is a better feeling than most I've ever had! Sitting play LEGO games on the 360 or Minecraft is waaay better than playing it with an adult mate.

    I'm going to have my own little girl in April. I'm 38 years old now. I'm so fucking excited about the potential, about why lies ahead, that I genuinely find myself lying awake at nights thinking about it. Sure, I'm scared. Of the responsibility, the cost, the long-term implications and of my fear over how my temper will cope with a screaming toddler at 4AM. If I told my 31 year old self that I was excited at the prospect of feeding a baby then I would have asked myself for some of the evidently high quality drugs I was on.

    Horses for courses and all that. But don't do anything permanent. You may never want kids till the day you die. But I wouldn't be at all surprised if some kids intersect with your life in a way that has you seriously reappraising your opinion on the matter.
  • Deleted user 31 December 2012 19:53:58
    Don't get a vasectomy, that is just silly man. You've just got married, moved to a new country and started down the route to an awesome new career/life. It is understandable that you don't see kids in the future and are considering stopping it happening but there is no real need. There is more to regret here than gain.
  • mrpon 31 Dec 2012 19:57:02 27,647 posts
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    Yeah Grem, I've got a "when's it due" joke in waiting.

    Give yourself 5 or gig, you're worth it.

  • Tonka 31 Dec 2012 20:34:32 19,840 posts
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    Psychotext wrote:
    Whole bunch of hormonal changes go on, otherwise you'd hate your own kids as much as everyone else hates them. :D
    This. I remember someone telling me that taking LSD three times turned you into a different person.

    Having babies does the same. I used to mock my child owning friends for their endless pictures of their chunks of joy. Now I fill my flickr and YouTube accounts with images and videos of my offspring.

    If you can read this you really need to fiddle with your forum settings.

  • localnotail 31 Dec 2012 20:46:08 23,093 posts
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    I really, really didn't want children until I was 33 - I just saw what I would lose, not what I would gain. Then I started to wonder if I might regret it if I didn't. Still wasn't keen, could not see myself as a parent. Met my current partner at 35, he definitely didn't want kids.

    Over the next two years I began to feel an occasionally overwhelming sense of loss at the idea of never having a child. I seemed to have become a person who could do a good job of it, especially with the help of my partner. He was coming round to the idea of having a kid after his sisters had theirs, as did many of my friends. Then his Dad died suddenly, and this seemed to focus his resolve. We set a future date to start trying and stopped worrying about it.

    Things change. Having a child is a life-changing event, and not everyone wants their life changed, or is suited to adapting to it. It's the best thing I've ever done though, for me, now. Probably wouldn't have been 10 years ago. OH seems completely convinced - I gave him a free pass for gaming all day at the weekend and he decided to spend the whole day playing with the baby instead.
    So, don't rule it out until it's not a possibility, IMO.

    Oh, and nappy-wise: you just don't mind it when it's your own. Also, you might get lucky with one like mine who only shits once every other day. Win.

    Edited by localnotail at 20:58:57 31-12-2012

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • monkeypuzzle 31 Dec 2012 21:08:47 1,947 posts
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    True story.

    A good friend of mine (no its not me) never wanted children and his girlfriend didn't want them either. They got married and moved abroad together. Had a good five or six years having a great life, enjoying freedom etc. As his wife got to mid thirties she changed her mind about children, he didn't. Marriage eventually broke up.

    She remarried and had children and seems very happy. He went through numerous relationships over many years and in a couple of serious ones the same problem arose, he didn't want children and the girlfriends were not willing to completely rule it out so they ended. As he got older he had to see younger women because women his age already had kids and he would end up with other people's children, the worst of both worlds for him.

    Point is his stance on children has seriously limited his options and his happiness over the last ten years and he generally has not been happy. Most women ( granted not all ) will eventually want children and if your wife changes her mind what are you going to do?

    Don't have the op yet for certain.

    True story ends.

    Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

  • mcmothercruncher 31 Dec 2012 21:10:50 5,746 posts
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    meme wrote:
    To me, the sleepless nights and years and years of having to clean up shit (literally shit) and lack of personal freedom just outweighs the feeling of love and whatnot you'd get from a child. I'll get (and have got) parents telling me that's bullshit and it's all worth it overall and so on and so forth, and if that's the case in their world then I'm immeasurably happy for them. But I just don't see it at all in mine.
    Their shit (literally, their shit, isn't an issue- you love them.
    And, I would have said the same before getting the sprog, but, luckily, after they arrive, you genuinely do see that it's worth it when they smile at you for the first time, or walk for the first time, or say their first few words etc. It's something you "get" after taking the plunge and difficult to quantify before.

    But good luck to you both, nobody's business what you choose to do, anyone arguing otherwise is a self absorbed fuckwit (i.e. probably a new parent ;) ). You'll probably be a lot (monetarily at least) richer than me and look a lot younger than me by the time we both retire :)
  • Kostabi 31 Dec 2012 21:38:09 4,670 posts
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    I'd be a terrible father so why bother wanting? Besides, the amount of bad taste jokes I've made over the years dictates that karma is going to grant me some kind of skinless jellyfish to raise.
  • ZuluHero 31 Dec 2012 21:45:49 3,668 posts
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    On the shit front it isn't really like real poop at all, not until they start eating solids at least!

    I actually didn't mind the smell of the green baby poo stage.
  • Carlo 31 Dec 2012 21:57:03 17,913 posts
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    ZuluHero wrote:
    On the shit front it isn't really like real poop at all, not until they start eating solids at least!

    I actually didn't mind the smell of the green baby poo stage.
    Granted, but you're hardly going to suggest it for the new Lynx smell are you.

    /ponders

    PSN ID: Djini

  • elstoof 31 Dec 2012 22:10:48 6,141 posts
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    Oh it reeks, just not like any shit you'd recognise.
  • Deleted user 31 December 2012 22:37:22
    I know I'm setting myself up here but I managed to very quickly get over the stink and out right rank look of poop with my puppy and that stuff is fucking awful. Especially when she has too many treats and I have to scrub diarrhoea out of the carpet while wearing my good suit and running late for work. Think I'm all set for kids!
  • Deleted user 31 December 2012 22:54:21
    Are you sure it came from the dog?
  • Deleted user 31 December 2012 23:02:03
    Too obvious!
  • elstoof 31 Dec 2012 23:04:14 6,141 posts
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    Oh meme.
  • Psychotext 31 Dec 2012 23:26:39 52,802 posts
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    localnotail wrote:
    He was coming round to the idea of having a kid after his sisters had theirs, as did many of my friends. Then his Dad died suddenly, and this seemed to focus his resolve. We set a future date to start trying and stopped worrying about it.
    Oddly enough the death of my parents pushed me completely in the other direction. I couldn't imagine bringing a kid into this world now that they're gone. The idea that my kid would have never got to meet them (and obviously vice-versa) is just soul crushing to me.
  • Pinky_Floyd 31 Dec 2012 23:30:17 6,429 posts
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    kalel wrote:
    Also the whole "I don't want to change nappies and get up in the night" thing is really overstated. It's nothing. Dogs are harder work than kids. The reward is ten thousand times the trouble, which is hugely over dramatised by Eastenders and the like.
    Heheh. I would say it depends on the children. Yours might indeed be easier work than looking after a dog but to balance that up I would say mine are harder work than looking after a tiger. Or possibly two tigers.
  • skuzzbag 1 Jan 2013 00:08:36 5,484 posts
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    Never wanted kids and luckily ended up with someone who felt the same way. Not missed them at all. Closest encounter is our niece who is dead cute and all but as my wife said you get al the fun part of kids and get to give them back for the nappy changes.

    Not had to work very hard as it's just me and my wife to support. Also not having kids made chucking in our jobs to move somewhere else on the spur of the moment incredibly easy (just doing it now).

    Another advantage is not having to think about schools when looking for somewhere to live.

    I wouldn't have minded if one had turned up accidentally though.
  • Chopsen 1 Jan 2013 00:36:28 15,180 posts
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    jonsaan wrote:
    You see that lonely old man in the nursing home over there, he felt the same way.
    I know that was tongue-in-cheek, but depressingly lonely people in nursing homes have children. It's just their children don't want to look after them.

    edit: and on that cheery note, happy new year!

    Edited by Chopsen at 00:39:17 01-01-2013
  • Psychotext 1 Jan 2013 00:56:08 52,802 posts
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    Aye, kids are certainly no guarantee of a happy old age. Also, just think what you'll end up doing to your kids if you suffer from Alzheimer's or Dementia. Yay. :(
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