A Chewable toothbrush, sir or madam?

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  • pjmaybe 12 Jan 2005 14:11:25 70,676 posts
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    Well I had to, didn't I. I am a sucker for vending machines of any type and I was always seeing those damned chewable toothbrush machines in motorway service stations...You know the ones - "Your teeth feel as clean as if you'd brushed with a brush!" - Sounded like a great idea to me, something for the bone idle first thing in the morning - shove the thing in your gob and chew until you caint'st chew nay more! I bought one and shoved it in the pocket of my jacket and completely forgot about it until...

    Having had a garlic breath-laden lunch I figured that I'd use the bloody thing (well it did cost £3, I mean it would've been cheaper to accost a passing dachsund and get the bloody thing to lick my teeth clean but what can ya do in a dachsund-free county like Oxfordshite). Dug the thing out, and discretely went to the gents to give the thing a good chew whilst sitting on the can (why do people call the loo "the can" ?)

    One misplaced filling later, I'm left with the deepening sense of "I really shouldn't have done that, should I?"

    Peej
  • pjmaybe 12 Jan 2005 14:12:52 70,676 posts
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    Have you ever eaten a mint-flavoured plaice?

    Peej
  • ssuellid 12 Jan 2005 14:15:06 19,141 posts
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    I've used them a couple of times. They are only £1 on the M4 services.
  • Lutz 12 Jan 2005 14:15:36 48,854 posts
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    rhythm wrote:
    Erm, why can't I see my reply?

    edit: had myself on ignore :)

    Edited by rhythm at 14:13:15 12-01-2005
    LOL!!!

    You... TWONK!

    :D
  • cubbymoore 12 Jan 2005 14:20:22 36,501 posts
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    Is that what they're rebranding chewing gum nowadays?
  • pjmaybe 12 Jan 2005 14:20:55 70,676 posts
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    It's a bit like a detachable penis. An anachronism really.

    I did wonder if anyone else on EG was stupid enough to fall for something as daft as a chewable toothbrush vending machine.

    Looks like it's just me.

    Peej
  • ssuellid 12 Jan 2005 14:21:15 19,141 posts
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    an example
  • pjmaybe 12 Jan 2005 14:22:08 70,676 posts
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    TEN for 3.99? i think I was well and truly had!

    Peej
  • ssuellid 12 Jan 2005 14:23:05 19,141 posts
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    pjmaybe wrote:
    TEN for 3.99? i think I was well and truly had!

    Peej

    Scroll up and you are not the only one. They are only £1 on the M4.
  • Madder-Max 12 Jan 2005 14:24:41 11,660 posts
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    ssuellid wrote:
    an example

    Looks like a clitoral stimulator!

    99 problems and being ginger is one

  • Stevas-mkII 12 Jan 2005 14:25:04 3,848 posts
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    So you chew it, right, and it cleans your teeth so well that removes your fillings - having mistaken them for, like, big bastard bits of plaque, or something?

    Well, that's me sold.

    Who do I give my money to, again?
  • BlackJedi 12 Jan 2005 14:27:08 387 posts
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    The missus was fascinated by the concept so I purchased one from the motorway services. She hasn't felt brave enough to try it yet though.

    You do have to be amazed at the ingenuity of someone who came up with the idea, then managed to get it rolled out to motorway services toilets throughout the UK. Is the revenue entirely made up of people buying it for the novelty, or is there a core market of frequent travellers who rely on them now?

    "I hope there's a Welcome Break coming up soon. I could really do with a chewable toothbrush..."
  • Salaman 12 Jan 2005 14:27:19 19,312 posts
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    I'm sure Peej will gladly sell you some. Only 5 Pounds apiece.
  • pjmaybe 12 Jan 2005 14:28:32 70,676 posts
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    Madder Max wrote:
    ssuellid wrote:
    an example

    Looks like a clitoral stimulator!

    At least if you chewed a clitoral stimulator it might taste better...!

    Peej
  • ssuellid 12 Jan 2005 14:31:13 19,141 posts
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    According to the site they can make up to 6 million of them a month.
  • Stevas-mkII 12 Jan 2005 14:42:16 3,848 posts
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    Going off what happened with peej, there, I wouldn't be at all surprised to discover these things were funded by the British Dental Association.

    /Has been watching too many X-Files recently
  • Mr_Sleep 12 Jan 2005 14:47:05 17,217 posts
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    BlackJedi wrote:
    You do have to be amazed at the ingenuity of someone who came up with the idea, then managed to get it rolled out to motorway services toilets throughout the UK. Is the revenue entirely made up of people buying it for the novelty, or is there a core market of frequent travellers who rely on them now?
    Seems unlikely, every rep I've ever met has breath that smells like a teacher and doctor have combined the halitosis genes of their profession.

    You are a factory of sadness.

  • eviltobz  12 Jan 2005 15:11:28 2,609 posts
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    i tried em once, and again i'm pretty sure it was £1, and whilst it didn't remove any fillings, and did clean my teeth a little, goddamn they taste nasty.
  • mouse Moderator 12 Jan 2005 15:13:53 10,312 posts
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    I've had one of these peej! Fucking shite. I could've warned you off it mate. What the fuck are we paying scientists for eh? Not this shit, that's for sure.

    Edited by mouse at 15:15:03 12-01-2005
  • pjmaybe 12 Jan 2005 15:15:53 70,676 posts
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    Stevas mkII wrote:
    Going off what happened with peej, there, I wouldn't be at all surprised to discover these things were funded by the British Dental Association.

    /Has been watching too many X-Files recently

    ...And Radio 4. I still can't get cuddly Ken Bruce to shut the fuck up on my upper 9th molar...

    Weirder than the chewable toothbrush vending machines - has anyone ever seen those french-fry vending machines? Mine christ, the abhorrence that comes out of that slot after you put 2 quid in. It's like watching something from Doom 3 give birth to the dude from Button Moon's wife...

    Peej
  • markypants 12 Jan 2005 15:17:43 2,737 posts
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    I find chewing gum that has been rolled around in sand works well?
  • markypants 12 Jan 2005 15:18:21 2,737 posts
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    Post deleted
  • pjmaybe 12 Jan 2005 15:19:15 70,676 posts
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    You are the lead singer of the Pogues?

    Peej
  • ssuellid 12 Jan 2005 15:19:40 19,141 posts
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    pjmaybe wrote:Weirder than the chewable toothbrush vending machines - has anyone ever seen those french-fry vending machines?

    They have one that does fries, burger in a bun, pizzas and IIRC omelettes in Frimley Park hospital.
  • mouse Moderator 12 Jan 2005 15:20:20 10,312 posts
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    Who comes up with this shit?! Why did they think it would be a good idea? And in a hospital of all places! Jesus wept.

    Edited by mouse at 15:20:43 12-01-2005
  • pjmaybe 12 Jan 2005 15:22:58 70,676 posts
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    ssuellid wrote:
    pjmaybe wrote:Weirder than the chewable toothbrush vending machines - has anyone ever seen those french-fry vending machines?

    They have one that does fries, burger in a bun, pizzas and IIRC omelettes in Frimley Park hospital.

    ...because they need more patients?

    Seriously - I saw one of these suckers on a campsite in NZ and of course, with my horrible vending machine addiction I paid $2 NZD for the priviledge of watching the machine spit out something resembling the afterbirth of a whelk doused in twice the lethal dosage of salt (damn, knew I shouldn't have had seconds!)

    I dread to think what a vending machine burger looks like. But alas, we are NOTHING compared to the Japanese who even have porn / used schoolgirl knicker vending machines, I kid you not.

    Peej
  • markypants 12 Jan 2005 15:22:59 2,737 posts
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    I was shocked to find a knitting needle vending machine in the local abortion clinic. I mean. How far are they gonna go? Makes me sick.

    Edited by markypants at 15:26:34 12-01-2005
  • RubyRed 12 Jan 2005 15:23:36 4,303 posts
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    pjmaybe wrote:
    Madder Max wrote:
    ssuellid wrote:
    an example

    Looks like a clitoral stimulator!

    At least if you chewed a clitoral stimulator it might taste better...!

    Peej
    But that would probably taste of fish too.
  • pjmaybe 12 Jan 2005 15:25:19 70,676 posts
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    Ahhh yes but something that tastes of fish AND has the consistency of fish is to be expected, therefore you're mentally prepared for it. Something that tastes like a chewed up rennie tablet with the consistency of fish, well who'd have predicted that eh?

    Worse still, the damned little spiny bits break off the toothbrush and you end up swallowing the damned things and almost choking to death.

    The things I do for the sake of consumer testing!

    Peej
  • Salaman 12 Jan 2005 15:26:19 19,312 posts
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    O_o ...

    I hope you're not hanging out there to pick up loose chicks!

    /wags finger






    On the other hand.
    maybe I hope you are.
    Beats the alternative.


    edit: refering to the abortion clinic .. didn't see page two had already been started

    Edited by Salaman at 15:27:16 12-01-2005
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