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I Don’t Want To Fall On My Arse Again

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  • SClaw 29 Nov 2012 15:21:19 826 posts
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    Well it’s definitely feeling wintery here suddenly.

    I don’t think we’re likely to see snow soon, but the shitastic pathments around Brumington have some sort of murderous regard for me and every winter I fall on my ass coming between the town centre and the Jewellery Quarter somewhere. I do not particularly want to fall on my arse again (I once did a comedy run on the spot then fell on my face, which was at least amusing for passers-by).

    Anyone got any clever tips for navigating the harsh winter streets (for those without a sense of balance, like me)?

    I read somewhere that gluing course sand to a pair of boots offered some improved traction, but I haven’t tried it.
  • Rusty_M 29 Nov 2012 15:23:47 3,589 posts
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    Wear a semi decent pair of boots. Avoid icy patches where possible.

    The world is going mad. Me? I'm doing fine.

  • roz123 29 Nov 2012 15:24:53 6,617 posts
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    Rubber grip things that go over your shoes

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_9?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=ice+shoe+grips&sprefix=ice+shoe+%2Caps%2C267

    Edited by roz123 at 15:27:14 29-11-2012
  • nickthegun 29 Nov 2012 15:25:13 44,251 posts
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    Learn ninjitsu

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    AGP.SRPT

  • Stickman 29 Nov 2012 15:27:15 28,477 posts
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    You'll look a right prick, but a thick pair of woolly socks over your shoes will see you right.

    Quoted

  • JuanKerr 29 Nov 2012 15:27:59 35,451 posts
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    I wore a pair of dark socks over my trainers to get into a club once. It worked a treat.
  • Aargh. 29 Nov 2012 15:31:23 11,132 posts
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    "How do I not fall over".

    This thread would make blizeH proud.

    After chasing sunsets one of life's simple joy is playing with the boys

  • nickthegun 29 Nov 2012 15:33:00 44,251 posts
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    I used a pair of socks to wipe my arsenal with in a pub toilet once, then used them to block the toilet in a dirty protest at having no bog roll and a door that wouldn't lock.

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    AGP.SRPT

  • mrpon 29 Nov 2012 15:33:54 23,990 posts
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    Buttock implants.

    Give yourself ½ gig or a £, you're worth it.

  • L_Franko Moderator 29 Nov 2012 15:34:05 9,676 posts
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    I have the balance of a cat, I'd wear bowling shoes down an icy path if I had a pair just so I can skate to my destination.
  • elstoof 29 Nov 2012 15:35:25 4,403 posts
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    Sandpaper won't do anything apart from turn to mush, you could use wet and dry paper but you'll have to fart arse about getting it off to replace it. Just get some decent boots.
  • Chopsen 29 Nov 2012 15:35:32 13,692 posts
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    Just lie down on your front and slide/slither around. Obviously.

    Thanks for expressing interest in my signature!

  • Lukus 29 Nov 2012 15:36:34 18,694 posts
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    The key to walking in ice and not falling is to not push off. You basically have to walk like a shit 80s wind up robot toy.

    Paintings & Photographs

  • billythekid 29 Nov 2012 15:38:32 10,259 posts
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    Walk around in one of these devices for upright impaired people:
  • SClaw 29 Nov 2012 15:42:07 826 posts
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    These are pretty much the answers I was expecting. So far I'm favouring buttock implants.
  • smoothpete 29 Nov 2012 15:42:10 29,135 posts
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    There is actually technique to walking on slippery surfaces. I think it's something to do with a difference in the way you transfer your weight from the back foot to the front foot when walking. IIRC you wait until the front foot is more planted than normal. Something like that anyway. The fall comes when traction is lost on the back foot before adequate weight is transferred to the front.

    /probably talking bollocks

    edit - 80s robot / walking like Kryten explain it way better than I did

    Edited by smoothpete at 15:53:16 29-11-2012
  • neilka 29 Nov 2012 15:44:23 11,923 posts
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    Get a fake illness so you can just sit on your arse playing games all day at the public's expense.

    if you have nothing intresting to say then you might as well just throw your bags on the truck and drive away

  • Aargh. 29 Nov 2012 15:45:29 11,132 posts
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    I say, what fake illness would you recommend Neilka?

    After chasing sunsets one of life's simple joy is playing with the boys

  • quadfather 29 Nov 2012 15:46:10 4,732 posts
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    Lukus wrote:
    The key to walking in ice and not falling is to not push off. You basically have to walk like a shit 80s wind up robot toy.
    ^ It's this. You have to not use much pressure on your feet and lift them more than you normally would. I had to do it this morning on an icy road on the way to work.

    Just imagine you're Kryten and you'll be fine

    psn = quaddy456

  • billythekid 29 Nov 2012 15:49:21 10,259 posts
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    Lukus wrote:
    The key to walking in ice and not falling is to not push off. You basically have to walk like a shit 80s wind up robot toy.
    Exactly. Plus you'll look cool.

  • neilka 29 Nov 2012 15:49:27 11,923 posts
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    Aargh. wrote:
    I say, what fake illness would you recommend Neilka?
    It's safe to go for anything that can be symptomless when you want it to be but crippling when the Job Centre rings.

    if you have nothing intresting to say then you might as well just throw your bags on the truck and drive away

  • smoothpete 29 Nov 2012 15:51:29 29,135 posts
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    JuanKerr wrote:
    I wore a pair of dark socks over my trainers to get into a club once. It worked a treat.
    That is genius!
  • megastar 29 Nov 2012 15:51:58 16,913 posts
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    just tie some tennis rackets to your shoes, bro!
  • megastar 29 Nov 2012 15:53:41 16,913 posts
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  • mrpon 29 Nov 2012 15:55:04 23,990 posts
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    JuanKerr wrote:
    I wore a pair of darks' socks over my trainers to get into a club once. It worked a treat.
    A bit sticky afterwards.

    Give yourself ½ gig or a £, you're worth it.

  • henro_ben 29 Nov 2012 15:56:08 2,118 posts
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    I got some of those rubber things with the spikes you slip over your shoes last winter.

    Work pretty well, although you make one hell of a racket on the pavement if it's patchy ice/snow. Also somewhat annoying to have to keep taking them off when going into shops. Better than falling over though!
  • magicpanda 29 Nov 2012 15:56:43 12,283 posts
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    Carry around a large burlap sack full of rocksalt with a small incision in the bottom at all times.
  • SClaw 29 Nov 2012 15:58:27 826 posts
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    @billythekid I need to spin my arms like that too, right?
  • Aargh. 29 Nov 2012 15:58:44 11,132 posts
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    neilka wrote:
    Aargh. wrote:
    I say, what fake illness would you recommend Neilka?
    It's safe to go for anything that can be symptomless when you want it to be but crippling when the Job Centre rings.
    That does sound pretty sweet. If it was me I would still tell everyone that I worked hard, maybe I could tell people I'm something like 'house husband'. I'm not sure if that sounds a bit gay though.

    After chasing sunsets one of life's simple joy is playing with the boys

  • SClaw 29 Nov 2012 16:01:21 826 posts
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    @Aargh. You’ve just got to jazz that title up. Spousal Executive House Manager.

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