Stop! Vasectomy time! Page 2

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  • Ultrasoundwave 16 Nov 2012 15:25:57 3,100 posts
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    bitch_tits_zero_nine wrote:
    Can you climax if you decide to become a woman?


    This GIF seems to be answering all the questions today......

    "Look at banner Michael!"

  • Tricky 16 Nov 2012 16:16:24 4,303 posts
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    Pinky_Floyd wrote:
    Tricky wrote:
    Most important thing to remember is to do feck all for the first two days - and I mean feck all. I got to spend two days reading books and catching up on some games whilst everyone got on with their shit around me. Bliss.
    You reckon I will need a couple of days off work?
    A lot of clinics schedule the op for Friday so you've got the weekend to recover. Of course if you work the weekend then that's no good.

    But yes, seriously, if your work involves standing/walking or any activity at all then take the time off - you will really cause yourself a longer recovery and plenty of discomfort if you don't.

    Razz wrote:So erm... what happens when you er... you know. Climax. What comes out? just air?
    It's like a little puff of dust - a bit like when you blow the excess chalk dust off your pool cue :-)
  • Pinky_Floyd 16 Nov 2012 17:41:10 6,429 posts
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    Ultrasoundwave wrote:
    Maybe im being naive or maybe im a little dull, but why would anyone do this to themselves!?

    Does it make you more aerodynamic or something?
    We already have 2 young kids, 1 of whom is a crap sleeper and we have another little 'accident' due at xmas. While 2 is a party, 3 will be an all night rave with the police needing called - I can't imagine the horror of 4 so its time to end it.

    I am so fertile if I were to spray my man fluid over the sahara it wouldnt be a desert for very long.
  • Jono62 16 Nov 2012 17:46:52 13,628 posts
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    DUFFMAN5 wrote:
    Have we not just done this thread ? I defo posted my story.
    Tell it again!
  • Wesbish 16 Nov 2012 18:05:27 22 posts
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    I never post on these forum although I read them most days, however given the subject in hand, I shall regale you all with my story (caution, wall of text follows).

    I went in for a vasectomy nearly three years ago now, all went well on the day and for the first two days after. However on the third day I picked up my youngest and somehow damaged one the clips they had used to seal the cuts.

    My scrotum (on the left side) promptly filled with blood (think around the size of an orange), prompting a trip to doctors.

    Doctor informed me that this was known as a scrotal hematoma and that although they could split the scrotum and drain it the risk of infection was very high the preferred option was to leave it as the blood would be absorbed back into the body and all would be well.

    So plenty of painkillers and 4 weeks off work, unable to do much as after the blood had solidified it was like my left nut was in a vice constantly.

    And then as if to add insult to injury, I picked an infection somewhere along the way and at the end of the fourth week, I woke up and walked into the toilet (as you do), and discovered yet more swelling.

    I called the wife in just in time for her to witness an explosion of yellow pus and what looked like raspberry jam shoot from the incision they made for the operation.

    Ambulance was duly called and three hours in luton a+e and I felt much better, went back to work the following day.

    My wife however will never forget cleaning the bathroom that day, I feel rather proud that I had managed to get the toilet, the bath and three of the four walls.......
  • Pinky_Floyd 16 Nov 2012 18:16:01 6,429 posts
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    O_o
  • RelaxedMikki 16 Nov 2012 18:20:09 892 posts
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    Holy crap. I was just going to come on to say 'it's nothing to worry about - go for it' but that story above kind of disproves that claim.

    Worst thing about having it done, for me, was the way the doctor insisted on showing me the inch of tube he'd cut out after each incision. After the first cut, I told the doc he really didn't need to show me what he'd removed, but he still insisted on waving the second piece in my face.

    I have never since concentrated so hard on the question 'who is the best left winger of the last 20 years?' as I did during that op.

    And then, afterwards, it was a great excuse to lie on the couch for 2 days...

    Edited by RelaxedMikki at 18:26:16 16-11-2012
  • Whizzo 16 Nov 2012 18:22:24 42,769 posts
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    I don't think I should have read that.

    No wait, I am sure I shouldn't have read that.

    Bring forth the mind rubbers!

    This space left intentionally blank.

  • Vortex808 16 Nov 2012 18:32:54 6,570 posts
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    If you have any spare can I get one Whizzo? Ick.
  • Tricky 16 Nov 2012 19:10:50 4,303 posts
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    Yeah if you do look at what's going on then you'll definitely pause the next time you have some spaghetti.
  • cheeky_prawnking 16 Nov 2012 19:23:18 3,803 posts
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    I am glad I only skimmed it! That it was enough.
  • mrpon 16 Nov 2012 19:34:30 27,648 posts
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    Pinky_Floyd wrote:
    O_o
    Quite accurate ball representation.

    Give yourself 5 or gig, you're worth it.

  • Pinky_Floyd 16 Nov 2012 19:34:31 6,429 posts
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    Graveland wrote:
    There's no way I'll be getting a vasectomy. I'll remind my missus that stairs were invented for a reason: throwing women with unwanted pregnancies down them.
    I bet that makes you popular with her Dad.
  • Pinky_Floyd 16 Nov 2012 19:35:16 6,429 posts
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    mrpon wrote:
    Pinky_Floyd wrote:
    O_o
    Quite accurate ball representation.
    SIZE OF A MELON!
  • Deleted user 16 November 2012 19:36:51
    Wesbish wrote:
    I called the wife in just in time for her to witness an explosion of yellow pus and what looked like raspberry jam shoot from the incision they made for the operation.
    Out of curiosity, why did you call her in?
  • Deleted user 16 November 2012 19:37:10
    Pinky_Floyd wrote:
    mrpon wrote:
    Pinky_Floyd wrote:
    O_o
    Quite accurate ball representation.
    SIZE OF A MELON!
    Actual size.
  • RelaxedMikki 16 Nov 2012 19:38:28 892 posts
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    The decision to have an abortion is still the hardest decision I have ever played a part in. Really fucking heavy, when you think about it. But we really weren't in a position to be able to bring up a third child properly at the time. There was no way I was risking putting my wife through that again...

    /massive sad face

    EDIT: this comment was prompted by the 'push pregnant woman down the stairs' gag. I know it was just a joke, but weird how these things can sometimes bring back things you hide in the back of your mind...

    Edited by RelaxedMikki at 19:48:35 16-11-2012
  • Pinky_Floyd 16 Nov 2012 19:55:53 6,429 posts
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    RelaxedMikki wrote:
    The decision to have an abortion is still the hardest decision I have ever played a part in. Really fucking heavy, when you think about it. But we really weren't in a position to be able to bring up a third child properly at the time. There was no way I was risking putting my wife through that again...

    /massive sad face

    EDIT: this comment was prompted by the 'push pregnant woman down the stairs' gag. I know it was just a joke, but weird how these things can sometimes bring back things you hide in the back of your mind...
    Oh my.
  • Pinky_Floyd 16 Nov 2012 20:00:13 6,429 posts
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    :(

    Much sad tales.
  • RelaxedMikki 16 Nov 2012 20:02:44 892 posts
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    EDIT: don't worry Graveland, I know it was just a joke.

    Apologies for getting so heavy.

    I had the vasectomy because for various reasons the usual contraceptive methods didn't work for us (my wife doesn't get on with the pill and I somehow always managed to break condoms)...

    Edited by RelaxedMikki at 20:10:42 16-11-2012
  • Wesbish 16 Nov 2012 20:11:30 22 posts
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    @aargh, I don't know why I called her in, bit of an odd moment really, I wasn't really in pain at the time and was laughing at the situation, affects us all differently I suppose.

    Also I would like to offer an apology to Pinky_Floyd, before I posted I thought he had had his op, i've just realised it's next week, I would have waited for the 'after' thread otherwise, but it's a common operation, so I am in a tiny minority. Still 4 weeks off work might help with his rocksmith quest :)
  • Pinky_Floyd 16 Nov 2012 20:23:16 6,429 posts
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    RelaxedMikki wrote:
    EDIT: don't worry Graveland, I know it was just a joke.

    Apologies for getting so heavy.

    I had the vasectomy because for various reasons the usual contraceptive methods didn't work for us (my wife doesn't get on with the pill and I somehow always managed to break condoms)...
    /stealth I'm a big boy post
  • RelaxedMikki 16 Nov 2012 20:28:30 892 posts
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    :cool: You said it, not me!

    Frighteningly large but disapointingly quick.

    Like an, erm, Alton Towers' ride?

    Edited by RelaxedMikki at 20:36:00 16-11-2012
  • Pinky_Floyd 16 Nov 2012 20:28:45 6,429 posts
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    Graveland wrote:
    On a slightly different note, does anyone practise the withdrawal method?

    I've found it pretty darn effective, but weirdly (personal sexual description coming up) I find that once my g/f has climaxed I quickly lose interest in sex thus don't need to shoot most of the time anyway.
    Yep, withdrawel method caused our third pregnancy.
  • jonsaan 16 Nov 2012 20:32:17 25,255 posts
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    Graveland wrote:
    On a slightly different note, does anyone practise the withdrawal method?

    I've found it pretty darn effective, but weirdly (personal sexual description coming up) I find that once my g/f has climaxed I quickly lose interest in sex thus don't need to shoot most of the time anyway.
    /stealth I make my other half cum every time we have sex post.

    FCUTA!

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