National Novel Writing Month 2012 Page 34

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  • Salaman 26 Nov 2012 10:42:36 19,066 posts
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    MetalDog wrote:
    @salaman
    You're a mur-diddly-urderer!
  • Salaman 26 Nov 2012 10:43:36 19,066 posts
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    So eurhm ... what happened to Blerk!?
    Distinct lack of updates in the last week or so.
    :-(
  • sunjumper 26 Nov 2012 11:04:43 3,197 posts
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    Today I hope to get tons of writing done. I do not want to fail!

    @MetalDog
    Chapter 21
    The past few chapters are full of fan service! I like that.
    It is great to see Clow back and I just noticed that I may have channeled him a bit when working on the Devil.
    It is also a good idea to have him enter the scene and set Swejkowski's head straight, beyond Walker he is probably the only person who can be considered a person that Swejkowski will listen to. He is in his function more parent like than a simple superior at work.

    It is alwas interesting to se Szwejkowski when he is not at his best. While he might not be the best educated person in world he is really clever. Clow still runs circles around him though reducing him mostly to being out of his depths as he was in his younger years.

    Chpater 22
    OK this bit is unexpected and so far hillarious.
    Why would you put a dead budgie in a fridge though?

    Wait... THAT was the reason why Walker became a policeman?!
    Wow.
    How did he become so good at his job?
    Ah. Of course. Heppa.
    A fascinating way to get rid of such a bad character streak.

    Interesting turn of events.
    I'd think that Yew would conentrate on solving the case instead of using the new information to make life miserable for all involved, but knowing you this story is not going to end without tears and death.
  • MetalDog 26 Nov 2012 11:10:03 23,697 posts
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    @Salaman
    There's a tradition for people to play dead when they're struggling. Have a poking stick.

    *pokes Blerk and Sunjumper*

    Useful feedback there, I know just how to fix that and meant to pre-load it off the back of a previous scene remark about Jexter, but forgot to slot that in like a big ninny. You're right though, Blue is a rank of Heppa - it's pretty much the point of no return on the addiction scale and would be the point the Constabularly class would be killing off any vestiges of desire to jump people's bones.

    @technohippy
    She's turned into pretty much a more laid-back version of my Aunt Ethel, God rest her =) It was definitely her old house I was seeing.

    -- boobs do nothing for me, I want moustaches and chest hair.

  • Salaman 26 Nov 2012 11:27:06 19,066 posts
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    MetalDog wrote:
    @Salaman
    There's a tradition for people to play dead when they're struggling. Have a poking stick.
    /pokes Blerk somewhere that's soft and slightly painful
  • MetalDog 26 Nov 2012 12:26:31 23,697 posts
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    @sunjumper

    I see Clow more like the slightly scary teacher who occasionally pulls you aside and tells you that you have your head up your arse =)

    If a small pet dies on a hot day and you don't have time to bury it right away, you stick it in the fridge overnight?
    You do not put a mouse in the fridge in a plastic bag when the owner is away for two weeks though - that was unpleasant to come home to. I swear I'm the only one in my family with a fully functioning sense of smell.

    Cheers for the feedback as ever, but write, man, write! =D

    -- boobs do nothing for me, I want moustaches and chest hair.

  • sunjumper 26 Nov 2012 17:04:53 3,197 posts
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    Not sure about my word count. But I have almost two new chapters finished by now, which I will update later.

    Right now I am on a break but I will get back to writing later. I wish I'd had something of what ever meme is putting in his tea though. The story is moving along but the writing process is rather slow.

    Nevertheless as I have mentioed several times before in this thread, I am actually learning quite a bit during this NaNo.
  • MetalDog 26 Nov 2012 17:24:39 23,697 posts
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    @sunjumper
    /slaps around face with a wet sponge*
    /hums Eye of the Tiger*

    -- boobs do nothing for me, I want moustaches and chest hair.

  • Deleted user 26 November 2012 17:28:39
    For shiz and giggles I separated out my text to see the word count of individual sections. 2003-6, 24k. 2008, 19k. 1880s, 8k. 1940s, 2k. 2012, 2k. I'm itching for January already. :(
  • morriss 26 Nov 2012 17:47:43 70,980 posts
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    Quality quantity.
  • TechnoHippy 26 Nov 2012 19:40:18 14,715 posts
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    Damn it - I forgot to email my draft to myself from work. The chapter was almost done. I guess I can start the next chapter, but it doesn't feel right.

    My books, contests, reviews and author interviews on my blog

  • Carbon_Altered 26 Nov 2012 21:35:09 675 posts
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    Chapter 23

    the little green men attack...
  • Deleted user 26 November 2012 21:46:24
    TechnoHippy wrote:
    Damn it - I forgot to email my draft to myself from work. The chapter was almost done. I guess I can start the next chapter, but it doesn't feel right.
    That's why God invented Dropbox!
  • Carbon_Altered 26 Nov 2012 21:55:22 675 posts
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    meme wrote:
    TechnoHippy wrote:
    Damn it - I forgot to email my draft to myself from work. The chapter was almost done. I guess I can start the next chapter, but it doesn't feel right.
    That's why God invented Dropbox!
    The devil more like as it tempts you into to attempting a sneaky couple of hundred words at work / in the car / when at a family gathering resulting in trouble!
  • Blerk Moderator 26 Nov 2012 22:43:34 48,225 posts
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    Salaman wrote:
    MetalDog wrote:
    @Salaman
    There's a tradition for people to play dead when they're struggling. Have a poking stick.
    /pokes Blerk somewhere that's soft and slightly painful
    Sorry guys, I've had a somewhat difficult few days at work (bad shit going down, although not to me directly) and haven't felt much like forumising.

    I have, however, been writing and indeed sailed past the 50k mark just last night. I just need to get my arse into gear and post some of it on the blog - I think I've got about 11,000 words of unpublished stuff. :)

    So I made my target, but the tale's not done. And now I have a terrible cold as well. Bum.
  • Salaman 26 Nov 2012 22:48:24 19,066 posts
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    Carbon_Altered wrote:
    Chapter 23

    the little green men attack...
    Where did the little green men come from? I thought Mason had loaded these ostrich type drones with a knife attached?

    I've no clue why but somehow this doesn't quite work for me. Sorry.
    "You are. I'm just getting to like playing the long odds. Nita always teased me for being so, well, scientific about everything. But sometimes you got to look at the shitty situation and say to yourself" Chen paused, Kel and Lloyd both leant in for this pearl of wisdom from the dour scientist.
    "Fuck it" Chen concluded. The manic grin was back. This time accompanied by a rumbling explosion in the distance.


    Quite a few of the exchanges and descriptions you've put into the story so far have made me laugh. This felt a bit odd. I think the timing is slightly off or the "leaning in" image is a bit to strong. Not sure.

    Awesome typo:
    One of those grabbed his rod just above the knife end as he made a tired and desperate lunch.

    Also
    Kel regard him curiously,

    Edited by Salaman at 22:48:53 26-11-2012
  • MetalDog 26 Nov 2012 23:50:34 23,697 posts
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    Sleeeeep
    Day Twenty Six

    Well done Blerk!

    Bad luck Techno - I've done that and it sucks donkey balls.

    -- boobs do nothing for me, I want moustaches and chest hair.

  • Blerk Moderator 27 Nov 2012 00:33:15 48,225 posts
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    @sunjumper
    Just spotted that amazing chunk of feedback on the previous page - many thanks again for all your comments, I'm sorry I didn't get to them sooner!

    @MetalDog
    Cheers! I guess I should feel good that I made it, but it's been such a ball-ache of a day it's difficult to feel anything other than numb. Perhaps it'll sink in tomorrow. :|

    Had a slightly difficult evening but I'm at 51,971 and I managed to get chapter 8 up onto the blog. There's a whole other chapter to get up there too but I've not had a chance to even scan through it so I'll do that tomorrow (I need to throw a few comedy typos in to keep Salaman happy). :)
  • Deleted user 27 November 2012 00:35:20
    A victory dance for Blerk!
    \o\ /o/ \o\ /o/ \o/ _o_ \o/
  • Blerk Moderator 27 Nov 2012 00:48:31 48,225 posts
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    Cheers, bud! I'll take all the happy I can get today!

    Actually I think I might go and shoot some aliens in the face. That might help too. :)
  • TechnoHippy 27 Nov 2012 10:05:59 14,715 posts
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    @Carbon_Altered

    Chapter 23:

    I like the little green men :-)

    Interesting that the Titans have no controllers.

    My books, contests, reviews and author interviews on my blog

  • TechnoHippy 27 Nov 2012 10:18:38 14,715 posts
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    @MetalDog

    Hopefully I'll catch up today.

    Day 26:

    A mysterious posh woman - interesting.

    I like the hint of something bigger than revenge going on.

    My books, contests, reviews and author interviews on my blog

  • TechnoHippy 27 Nov 2012 10:41:32 14,715 posts
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    @Blerk

    Good job on hitting the target - does this mean you'll resume editing last years? ;-)

    My books, contests, reviews and author interviews on my blog

  • Blerk Moderator 27 Nov 2012 10:51:30 48,225 posts
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    TechnoHippy wrote:
    @Blerk

    Good job on hitting the target - does this mean you'll resume editing last years? ;-)
    Yes, but not until this story's done - worried about losing momentum if I stop before I get to the end.
  • TechnoHippy 27 Nov 2012 10:58:34 14,715 posts
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    Fairy muff :-)

    My books, contests, reviews and author interviews on my blog

  • Carbon_Altered 27 Nov 2012 11:20:19 675 posts
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    Salaman wrote:

    Where did the little green men come from? I thought Mason had loaded these ostrich type drones with a knife attached?
    Mason is using the plastoids again, this time with knives. Sully has the Ostriches.


    I've no clue why but somehow this doesn't quite work for me. Sorry.
    "You are. I'm just getting to like playing the long odds. Nita always teased me for being so, well, scientific about everything. But sometimes you got to look at the shitty situation and say to yourself" Chen paused, Kel and Lloyd both leant in for this pearl of wisdom from the dour scientist.
    "Fuck it" Chen concluded. The manic grin was back. This time accompanied by a rumbling explosion in the distance.


    Quite a few of the exchanges and descriptions you've put into the story so far have made me laugh. This felt a bit odd. I think the timing is slightly off or the "leaning in" image is a bit to strong. Not sure.

    Agreed - that part of the chapter was a massive pain to write, I was stuck on it for ages so in the end just made sure I got something down to keep things moving along with a note to come back and sort it out. I want to paint Chen as losing it slightly given the various emmotions he's currently feeling, but it is hard to convey.
  • Carbon_Altered 27 Nov 2012 11:24:34 675 posts
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    @TechnoHippy - thanks Techno, I'm glad you spotted the controller thing as it's something I want to develop more on later.

    On yours I am up to Dan kidnapping Sarah, then coming to his senses. I like that he seems to be fighting back against the Demon, but how he got to realising it all happened a bit quickly for me. The scene with the demon speaking to him while he was asleep was a bit weird as a result.

    I'm still really enjoying it, and look forward to finding out how it all ends. Do you think you'll reach the conclusion this month, or will it take longer than that?
  • MetalDog 27 Nov 2012 11:28:40 23,697 posts
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    @technohippy
    Cheers techno. Don't know how you do all the reading and writing, I really don't. I'm hanging on by my fingernails just with the basics!

    @Blerk
    A better day, hopefully? You'll feel the celebration when you finish the yarn =D And a little bit of sad, probably, but mostly yay when it's done!

    -- boobs do nothing for me, I want moustaches and chest hair.

  • TechnoHippy 27 Nov 2012 12:15:54 14,715 posts
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    @Carbon_Altered

    Yeah, I have a plan for the end and I should be able to do it for Friday. Although I am cheating and taking Thursday off :-)

    I tend to rush through a story on the first draft, but it's useful for me to know where it needs more development - so thanks for the feedback.

    My books, contests, reviews and author interviews on my blog

  • TechnoHippy 27 Nov 2012 12:16:39 14,715 posts
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    @MetalDog

    Heh - I have no life :-)

    My books, contests, reviews and author interviews on my blog

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