National Novel Writing Month 2012 Page 29

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  • TechnoHippy 17 Nov 2012 15:56:43 14,716 posts
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    No, you don't need much. And if you're in the same location repeatedly then you can reveal a little bit more with each visit.

    For a story like yours you can play on the transient nature as well.

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  • TechnoHippy 17 Nov 2012 15:57:41 14,716 posts
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    And another chapter done, 25 is now up:

    http://zenapocalypse.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/faust-20-chapter-25.html

    I'm going to play soem Halo now, but I will aim to get another chapter written tonight.

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  • RobTheBuilder 17 Nov 2012 15:57:47 6,521 posts
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    Great advice. Cheers!
  • TechnoHippy 17 Nov 2012 21:00:03 14,716 posts
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    And now chapter 26 trots onto the stage:

    http://zenapocalypse.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/faust-20-chapter-26.html

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  • Deleted user 17 November 2012 21:01:20
    I'm taking a few days off before I finish off the first draft. College breaks for Thanksgiving on Monday so I'll probably pick back up then.
  • Carbon_Altered 17 Nov 2012 21:32:13 737 posts
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    Building up to the end of the first act now, albeit over 30k of the way through:

    Chapter 15

    Chapter 16 is on the long side, sorry
  • Salaman 18 Nov 2012 00:07:26 19,958 posts
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    Carbon_Altered wrote:
    Building up to the end of the first act now, albeit over 30k of the way through:

    Chapter 15

    Chapter 16 is on the long side, sorry

    Probably not a good idea to read 3/4 stories all at the same time, so I'm more prone to confusion. still I remember you mentioned some of the earlier chapter was a flash back, the one on the loop?

    The jump in 15 back to the loop and Lloyd, Kel and them made me wonder a little where I was in the overall story/timeline.
    From what I recall, it was the coming to be of the space pirates (flashback/loop/Kel/Chen/etc) then a pirate mission with 2 different people and the mention somewhere in that chapter of there being only 4 of them. Is that right or am I getting mixed up?
    I wondered where Kel had got to at that point and how far ahead in time this was as they presumably all left together on the ship but somehow there's only a handful of them left.

    So with your flashback info in mind, I'm assuming this is a continuation of this "about to go buccaneering" flashback. We're back on that Europa base? Might be a tad confusing with the timelines without that additional info from earlier.

    Hmm just finished 15. Looks like I had the wrong end of the stick up there^^. Sorry.

    Like 16. Good tension and feeling of awe and wonder. Good build up to the realisation that something is up.
    I'm not all the way through but a bit too tired to read on with focus and I don't want to just skip through in a daze. I'll finish it up tomorrow.


    Typo:
    15
    They were all starring out towards the central hub of the loop
    staring
  • RobTheBuilder 18 Nov 2012 02:30:36 6,521 posts
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    Chapter 22 (part 2)

    Tony meets the indiepop band Chillgame, and things get a bit awkward...

    http://nanowrimo-theentertainer.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/22-episode-five-part-2.html
  • TechnoHippy 18 Nov 2012 10:04:26 14,716 posts
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    @Carbon_Altered

    Chapter 15:

    Penis probe made me snigger. I know - I haven't grown up :-)

    And it's a joke that keeps on giving.

    The chapter builds up the tension nicely, now I really want to know what's in the probe.

    Chapter 16:

    I like the direction this has turned. And there's still plenty of mystery to be solved.

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  • TechnoHippy 18 Nov 2012 10:15:45 14,716 posts
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    @RobTheBuilder

    Nice touch of place setting with the band coming off the stage.

    Nasty Tony is fun, but I wonder if he's slipped into his new persona a little too easily. Maybe have him slip or fumble a few times?

    Another good chapter.

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  • Carbon_Altered 18 Nov 2012 11:09:44 737 posts
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    Thanks for the feedback Salaman and Techno

    My next edit is going to involve post-its and timelines to make sure everything fits. It would benefit from a re-ordering in places - I've never taken on something quite so big before!
  • TechnoHippy 18 Nov 2012 11:52:21 14,716 posts
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    Chapter 27 is now done:

    http://zenapocalypse.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/faust-20-chapter-27.html

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  • Salaman 18 Nov 2012 13:01:54 19,958 posts
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    TechnoHippy wrote:
    Chapter 27 is now done:

    http://zenapocalypse.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/faust-20-chapter-27.html
    Surprised at the 6 months timeline. I would've assumed 6 weeks or so. With the few samples of interaction between the demon and it's victims running parallel. It's also good that you mention it's wider activity and their impact. As I wasn't too sure whether the story so far was the actual actions of the demon or just a sample of the type of things it was doing on a massive scale, so this makes it clear. Maybe some of this should be hinted at very early on as well to make it less implied (and possibly missed) and more stated.

    Good setup at the end of the chapter. This should be good!
    /rubs hand


    Odd paragraph, looks like it's been chopped and reassembled a bit,
    He was a human with who possessed a natural affinity to the technology. Maybe it could turn that strength to its own side. Then had already allied with some humans, Dan could be another member of his nascent army.
  • Salaman 18 Nov 2012 13:16:12 19,958 posts
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    Carbon ... managed to finish 16.

    The plot thickens. =)

    Also:
    Chen and Lloyd silently starred out of the now open hatch
    stared

    To look at was inside
  • TechnoHippy 18 Nov 2012 13:18:01 14,716 posts
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    @Salaman

    Thanks, the timeline is a bit undecided. The discrepancy is more to do with the time the demon took to become active.

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  • TechnoHippy 18 Nov 2012 14:53:33 14,716 posts
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    Chapter 28 puts me just under 30,000 words:

    http://zenapocalypse.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/faust-20-chapter-28.html

    Edited by TechnoHippy at 14:54:08 18-11-2012

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  • TechnoHippy 18 Nov 2012 17:20:13 14,716 posts
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    Chapter 29 puts me across the 30,000 word line.

    http://zenapocalypse.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/faust-20-chapter-29.html

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  • RobTheBuilder 18 Nov 2012 18:11:13 6,521 posts
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    @TechnoHippy Cheers. I may move then to the last guest and make the middle one less certain.
    Also want part of the story to be his guilt afterwards.
  • TechnoHippy 18 Nov 2012 20:41:34 14,716 posts
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    My head hurts, but chapter 30 graces us with its presence:

    http://zenapocalypse.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/faust-20-chapter-30.html

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  • MetalDog 18 Nov 2012 23:29:51 23,938 posts
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    I made halfway - three days late!
    Day eighteen

    @Techno, I want to steal your momentum, you're going great guns.

    @Salaman
    Fair points, overstated on one and I'll fix the other later with a quick shuffle. Cheers!

    -- boobs do nothing for me, I want moustaches and chest hair.

  • Blerk Moderator 18 Nov 2012 23:34:32 48,225 posts
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    Good session tonight, felt 'in the zone' properly for the first time in a few days. Also figured out a bit of a plan that should see me through the next few days.

    Chapter 7 part 2 is up and my word count is 39,139! Hurrah! \o/

    Good to see so many people still chugging away nicely!
  • Deleted user 18 November 2012 23:52:38
    Christ, I crossed the line at just the right time. I caught whatever bug my wife had and have been absolutely slayed. Good to see everyone else punching gigantic holes in the word counts. Shall hopefully get to reading soon.
  • Salaman 19 Nov 2012 00:22:34 19,958 posts
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    TechnoHippy wrote:
    My head hurts, but chapter 30 graces us with its presence:

    http://zenapocalypse.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/faust-20-chapter-30.html
    One thing I was wondering. If Dan hasn't really worried about money in years and has everything delivered to his house. Why can't he arrange his own prozzies? Granted, maybe he never thought of it or it scared him and he preferred his porn nights better. Since Misty sent a girl around last time though, why would he give up any information in exchange for another visit from a girl that he picks but she then sends over.
    Why not just pick a girl that looks like Sarah and arrange it himself. Not sure how the demon can use this as a bargaining chip or why he's giving away information in exchange for something he can get himself.


    Officially his explained this to Misty as his means for investigating the traces she left in infected system.
    he explained / systems
  • Salaman 19 Nov 2012 00:47:00 19,958 posts
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    Blerk wrote:
    Good session tonight, felt 'in the zone' properly for the first time in a few days. Also figured out a bit of a plan that should see me through the next few days.

    Chapter 7 part 2 is up and my word count is 39,139! Hurrah! \o/

    Good to see so many people still chugging away nicely!
    Yaay. Your very own G-man! =)
  • RobTheBuilder 19 Nov 2012 01:16:19 6,521 posts
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    @TechnoHippy Right, I know we aren't supposed to edit, but I'm going to paste the other guest and gameshow before Chillgame, and lengthen the process.

    :)
  • RobTheBuilder 19 Nov 2012 01:17:11 6,521 posts
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    By the way folks, a general well done on the progress we are all making.
    I may not hit 50k by last day, but I am so much further than I ever thought I'd get, and I'm looking forward to finishing it all off :)
  • TechnoHippy 19 Nov 2012 11:37:39 14,716 posts
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    @MetalDog

    Good job on the halway point :-)

    Day 18:

    "Dry your eyes, Princess, he's coming over." Made me chuckle.

    Yew seems to be a bit mecurial in his attitude. Maybe I just didn't notice it in the earlier chapters, but he seems more flippant in this one.

    Although when they reach the morgue he isn't, understandably.

    Interesting comments on the UV eyes.

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  • TechnoHippy 19 Nov 2012 12:03:20 14,716 posts
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    @Blerk

    Good going on the word count! My story has also taken a bit of a life of it's own compared to last years. I may even tweak the ending a bit :-)

    Chapter 7 part 2:

    "I surmise you know Allie, then? Seems an odd thing to say, I understand the meaning, it just seems a bit stilted. Also why did he assume she knew Allie rather than his wife?

    I like Jurt, he is an odd chap though. What does he know?

    Wow - Jenson has issues.

    And it finishes with good drama.

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  • TechnoHippy 19 Nov 2012 12:05:40 14,716 posts
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    @Salaman

    Thanks - it's the interaction that holds him back. He could arrange his own but lacks the contacts that Misty has. I agree it needs more selling. I'll give it some more thought in the rewrite.

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  • Deleted user 19 November 2012 12:09:00
    Well done everyone. After getting nowhere in my first 2012 attempt and then dying on my arse in the second I'm officially out for this year. Just wasn't feeling it. Going to get back to (re)building some writing habits instead
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