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National Novel Writing Month 2012 • Page 24

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  • TechnoHippy 11 Nov 2012 17:12:26 14,263 posts
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    @meme

    Make sure to put some time between finishing the first draft and the edit so you have some perspective.

    The Cult of Me [ Blog ] [ e-book ] [ An Odd Quartet ]

  • meme 11 Nov 2012 17:16:40 15,520 posts
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    Yeah, definitely will. Unless I slow to well under the word count, I should be finishing it (not just finishing NaNo, but the first draft itself) within a week, then I'm gonna spend the rest of November getting stuck into reading. Then I'll concentrate on college work for the rest of the semester, which takes me up to Christmas. Then I've got the whole of January and February free for a first pass. That's the plan, anyway.

    GHOSTBUSTERS

  • TechnoHippy 11 Nov 2012 20:07:27 14,263 posts
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    And chapter 18 is now posted:

    http://zenapocalypse.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/faust-20-chapter-18.html

    The Cult of Me [ Blog ] [ e-book ] [ An Odd Quartet ]

  • RobTheBuilder 11 Nov 2012 20:44:41 5,846 posts
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    @TechnoHippy by the way, I appreciate your updates. I will definitely read through all of yours, just focused on writing at the moment :)
  • meme 11 Nov 2012 20:50:51 15,520 posts
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    I echo that. No idea how you manage to find the time, but the feedback is invaluable!

    GHOSTBUSTERS

  • Carbon_Altered 11 Nov 2012 20:55:39 673 posts
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    Had quite a good day, getting a couple of chapters done:

    sex and drugs and, er, cucumbers

    and

    where I ruin any slight sci-fi credibility by adding in space pirates
  • Salaman 11 Nov 2012 21:19:56 16,605 posts
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    Blerk wrote:
    Congrats, meme - that's amazing!

    I finally managed to finish chapter 5, so I've uploaded it to the blog for the people who are somehow finding time to read. Thanks in advance for any thoughts and comments!

    And now... I'm going to have an earlier night. Word count is 22886, still slightly ahead of schedule.
    Yaaaay!
    /gets some toast and a big glass of milk
    /tucks into the rest of chapter 2

    Excellent!

    Typololology:
    I hadn’t even been able to organise her funeral yet, yet here I was
    Maybe use "but" instead of that 2nd yet?

    “It’s okay, really,” I said, shaking my head my head slowly.

    champing at the bit
    I always thought this was chomping at the bit but there's a few other idioms that I had wrong for years.
    You learn something new every day

    And if do find something it might prove invaluable in preventing a similar disaster here - Terra is practically identical to our own, remember.”

    Edited by Salaman at 21:28:52 11-11-2012
  • Metalfish 11 Nov 2012 21:29:16 8,284 posts
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    I feel rather bad for not reading anyone's this year. Stalling slightly after massive edit. Absolute torrent of work at the moment with no end in sight.
  • Blerk Moderator 11 Nov 2012 22:03:16 47,768 posts
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    @Salaman
    Glad you're still enjoying, and also glad that you're still correcting my typos. :D

    It's not cheating for me to go back and edit those straight away, is it? Actually I don't care if it is. Ha!

    Managed 700 words or so this afternoon while I was waiting for tea to cook (and accidentally incurred the wrath of wife who was trying to talk to me about Christmas presents but the words were going in one ear and out the other). Just going to settle in for another thousand or so now, fingers crossed!
  • MetalDog 11 Nov 2012 23:30:51 23,448 posts
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    @Sunjumper
    Caught up on a bit of yours, two lines particularly pleased me in it:
    Balancing style with not being an idiot was important.
    and
    He was sipping a cocktail that was 50% decoration and 100% overpriced
    He'd not having much luck so far, is he?

    Kind of a shortish update from me and still behind on reading, writing, everything. Boo, hiss.

    -- boobs do nothing for me, I want moustaches and chest hair.

  • MetalDog 12 Nov 2012 00:02:55 23,448 posts
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    @Technohippy

    Chapter 10
    This does a good job of getting me on Sarah's side. Office politics are the pits and her desire to defeat it and get above it instead of running away is a winning trait.

    Chapter 11
    A new character - if this one turns to the demon's offers I'd have a good deal more sympathy for his motives than the others. A situation where he could end up worse than his tormentors though.

    You've written a fuckload, sir, well done. More later.

    -- boobs do nothing for me, I want moustaches and chest hair.

  • Blerk Moderator 12 Nov 2012 00:29:03 47,768 posts
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    Wrote a bit more than the 1000 words I had planned on doing, so I've now broken the 25k mark! Yay!

    And here's Chapter 6, part 1.

    Time for some quality game-time before bed, I think! :)
  • RobTheBuilder 12 Nov 2012 02:43:17 5,846 posts
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    Chapter 17. Showdown?

    Tony and Nigel get called in for the post show update by Gerald, and plot with Patrick as to where their plan can go next. May include some singing.

    http://nanowrimo-theentertainer.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/17-showdown.html
  • sunjumper 12 Nov 2012 02:57:47 2,877 posts
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    Regrettably I had no time to read anything today but I got a serious chunk of writing done today. Nothing of meme or Blerk levels but to my own great surprise I have finished Chapter 4 in two sittings tonight.

    I did not think that I would manage an update today but well.

    Here it is.

    Word count is at 16,573 now. While I am still lagging behind I am catching up at a decent pace.

    Edited by sunjumper at 03:01:46 12-11-2012
  • meme 12 Nov 2012 04:31:31 15,520 posts
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    I thought earlier I had passed 75%, but it turns out I'd only passed 70% because I'm rubbish at maths and for some reason thought 35,000 was three-quarters of 50,000.

    But now I'm at 75%. So yay.

    NaNo stats tell me I'll probably "win" on Wednesday this week.

    GHOSTBUSTERS

  • meme 12 Nov 2012 06:25:17 15,520 posts
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    Almost forgot to even post up day eleven.

    GHOSTBUSTERS

  • MetalDog 12 Nov 2012 09:33:12 23,448 posts
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    @sunjumper

    =D just higher than mine, so you're almost caught up to the ticker-o-doom.
    Writing before reading is sensible unless well ahead of the game.

    BACKUP REMINDER: back up your work, folks

    -- boobs do nothing for me, I want moustaches and chest hair.

  • Salaman 12 Nov 2012 10:34:33 16,605 posts
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    Blerk, I was a bit confused at the "living in boxes". I sort of assumed they'd pack some suitcases and leave the house as it is to come back to whilst someone looks after it in the meantime.
    With the boxes mentioned it made me wonder whether the military was going to pick up their stuff and move it to Terra for them.
    They left with just their suitcases though, so why are they boxing stuff? Are the boxes just left sitting in their house or do they go to storage then?

    Minor detail but the mention of them made me wonder at the logistics of the actual move and sort of distracted me from the story for a bit.

    I was also a bit confused to read that Dan was going through "science" books to better understand the research his mother has worked on. That raised an eyebrow as I thought he was only 14 or 15 (and in fact is 13 as mentioned a little later). Is it realistic for a 13 year old to self-study quantum physics and the likes from science books? At that age he supposedly hasn't studied many conventional physics.

    There's also a mention of "limited bandwidth" on Terra. So the radio that is available from the colony to echo base should be limited.
    I don't know much about radio but it seems odd that with about 350 people arriving on planet otherwise devoid of intelligent life that can use technology, something like radio bandwidth is a concern.
    If the radio use has to be restricted for plot reasons, maybe it can be something with security clearance, authorised personnel only or something?
    We've seen what security measures are in place to enter the facility. It probably wouldn't be weird that the colony is also managed military base style to some extent and radio's are left for the military personnel to use for their needs in organising and securing the place. Not for the "Colonists" to just chatter back and forth with.

    Only mis-type of the whole chapter:
    His sister’s annoyance was plain to see, but still I hesitated until suddenly Dan grabbed my head and pulled me forwards.
    This did make me laugh. I assume it's hand? Although the image of the kid grabbing his dad's head to pull him through a portal into another dimension was funny.
  • Blerk Moderator 12 Nov 2012 10:55:20 47,768 posts
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    Ha ha, best typo ever! I should probably fix that. :D

    Taking those points in turn:
    1. They're living out of boxes because the house is being rented out in their absence, so most of their personal stuff (which can't go with them) is going into storage. I probably didn't make that clear enough, I had a bit of a paragraph swap-around in the middle of writing that bit and might've lost something - I'll check.

    2. Those books are certainly beyond Dan's grasp given his age, but he's trying to read them anyway. Again, that's a decent point - I'll add a note to clarify during the edit.

    3. My thinking on the radio thing is that there is no active electricity grid on Terra and no means of communication at present other than the radios that the military carry. For that reason, they need to limit the use of the comms channels that they have to work-related messages and emergencies. I'll flag that for a rejig too.

    Incidentally, the colony is absolutely managed military-style, just like the base. In fact, as forthcoming chapters will show, in a lot of ways it's more like a prison camp than a holiday resort. :)
  • TechnoHippy 12 Nov 2012 12:59:29 14,263 posts
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    @Carbon_Altered

    I like the idea of companions being more than sex workers.

    The maybe pile made me chuckle.

    Nothing wrong with space pirates :-)

    The Cult of Me [ Blog ] [ e-book ] [ An Odd Quartet ]

  • Salaman 12 Nov 2012 13:04:00 16,605 posts
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    Blerk wrote:
    Ha ha, best typo ever! I should probably fix that. :D
    Incidentally, the colony is absolutely managed military-style, just like the base. In fact, as forthcoming chapters will show, in a lot of ways it's more like a prison camp than a holiday resort. :)
    Bollocks I was quoting this to say "I'm not touching the spoiler until you post the next chapters but in quoting, it's unspoilered. D'oh.
  • Blerk Moderator 12 Nov 2012 13:08:05 47,768 posts
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    Oops, sorry! Not too spoilery, I hope. :D

    Incidentally, I was just looking back over the original three-act snowflake I did as planning in the final days of October and have realised that I've reached 25k but I'm still apparently on act one. I think it might be time to throw that plan away and start a new plan!

    Edited by Blerk at 13:09:15 12-11-2012
  • TechnoHippy 12 Nov 2012 13:08:38 14,263 posts
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    @Blerk

    Goo work crossing the half way mark!

    Chapter 6 part 1 feedback:

    I'm assuming that everyone had been briefed previously if the only questions was about the luggage?

    Other than that I can't wait to see what terrors await them in the new world :-)

    The Cult of Me [ Blog ] [ e-book ] [ An Odd Quartet ]

  • TechnoHippy 12 Nov 2012 13:12:39 14,263 posts
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    @RobTheBuilder

    Onto chapter 17:

    Excellent - Gerald is not so easily beaten :-)

    And now I have that bloody song in my head :-(

    The Cult of Me [ Blog ] [ e-book ] [ An Odd Quartet ]

  • RobTheBuilder 12 Nov 2012 13:18:59 5,846 posts
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    @TechnoHippy I hope that bit came across as funny, I have it played out in my head how it would look on TV, and tried to put that into writing as best I could.

    Same here. Stuck in my head now...

    Thanks!!
  • TechnoHippy 12 Nov 2012 13:26:19 14,263 posts
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    @sunjumper

    On to chapter 4:

    I found "A small room that had difficulty holding all its doors and stairs and that big front desk in place but it held it together" a bit clumsy.

    'Hared' should be 'heard' in "thumps of bass he had hared before"

    Tense confusion in "He had turn around in his strange chair now facing Truner"

    Missing 's' in "Actually it was a comfortable as it was horrid"

    I like the critic's philosophy.

    "Just stop heating" - I Think you mean 'hating'?

    Spelling in "when all around you genres were going extinc"

    "rally crazy" ?

    "Form now on" - spilling

    Not sure why I've goneall proof readery - but I liked that chapter. The critic is a good character and you've hinted at what the problem that needs solving is.

    The Cult of Me [ Blog ] [ e-book ] [ An Odd Quartet ]

  • TechnoHippy 12 Nov 2012 13:28:08 14,263 posts
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    @RobTheBuilder

    Yes I did. I think the level of humour has increased nicely since they started trying to sabotage the show.

    The Cult of Me [ Blog ] [ e-book ] [ An Odd Quartet ]

  • RobTheBuilder 12 Nov 2012 13:38:43 5,846 posts
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    @TechnoHippy Hurrah! There's one joke line I'm looking forward to writing, it was the first line I thought of for the whole story.

    I'm having to keep notes at the end to remember all the many threads I need to tie up!

    Edited by RobTheBuilder at 13:39:32 12-11-2012
  • TechnoHippy 12 Nov 2012 13:45:58 14,263 posts
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    @meme

    "This from the guy who changed from an okay guy into a total fucking asshole." Is a good line, but I think it needs some context of time taken to make more sense with the rest of the paragraph.

    Other than it read well. I'm still not happy at being made to read a grown up story though :-)

    The Cult of Me [ Blog ] [ e-book ] [ An Odd Quartet ]

  • TechnoHippy 12 Nov 2012 13:47:12 14,263 posts
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    MetalDog wrote:
    @sunjumper

    =D just higher than mine, so you're almost caught up to the ticker-o-doom.
    Writing before reading is sensible unless well ahead of the game.

    BACKUP REMINDER: back up your work, folks
    A good point. I email the versdions between my work and home email, means I have a nice numer of back-ups :-)

    The Cult of Me [ Blog ] [ e-book ] [ An Odd Quartet ]

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