National Novel Writing Month 2012 Page 37

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  • Deleted user 30 November 2012 04:30:08
    You could always go for a sick day and a "shut off the internet until it's done" kinda thing, but even so, 39k in 29 days is still a mighty fine achievement.
  • sunjumper 30 Nov 2012 04:40:30 3,248 posts
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    I've got the day off tomorrow.
    But it is also my girlfriends birthday which reduces the pure writing time. Even then I doubt that I would be able to push out 11k in one day.

    I'm at peace with myself. I see the positive side of it. There have been a lot of things that I can be proud of and it is those I want to focus on. I used to look at all the things that went wrong, but that only destroys motivation. Now I am making an effort to look at my achievements even if they are not as great as what I had originally in mind. Turns out that, that is far more motivating.

    Had I gone all Emo McGrumpypants I would have stopped writing around the 10th of November. That was the point where I thought that the story was going no where, there was no tension, I hated working on it and my general enthusiasm was waning.
    Had I done that I would have remained sub 10k, I would have looked at this thread and seen it as a monument to my failing. That would have probably turned off of writing for weeks if not months. That would also have been incredibly stupid.

    Now I have a story that is slowly growing on me.
    I've been learning a lot of stuff while working on it as well as reading the efforts of the others. So even if I do not make it across the line this year in time, there will have been far more positive things going on in this years NaNo than the slightly disappointing bad things.

    I'll keep moving towards the goal.
    I will finish this story.
    And next year I shall return and have my sweet revenge!
  • Blerk Moderator 30 Nov 2012 09:14:00 48,225 posts
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    Congrats to Techno for completing and congrats too to sunjumper for a mighty brave attempt!

    Did I miss anyone? Anyone still on the cusp of finishing?

    I cracked out another 1600 words last night but it's becoming somewhat apparent that this tale still has rather a long way to go. Looks like I'm running through December!
  • MetalDog 30 Nov 2012 12:20:56 23,920 posts
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    @Sunjumper
    Cheers as ever!
    The trouble with having three scenes in your head is you're always half thinking of the next one, so I kind of rushed that one. I will Fix It Later(tm).

    You will be joining me and Blerk in December writing, I trust? I'm glad you're a bit more Zen =) You've done a lot of work already!

    I'm off work today and I've done all the unavoidable chores, so I'd best get back to the wordy coalface.

    -- boobs do nothing for me, I want moustaches and chest hair.

  • RobTheBuilder 30 Nov 2012 12:24:04 6,521 posts
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    @Blerk I got delayed due to some job app stuff, but resumed yesterday on about 28k
  • Blerk Moderator 30 Nov 2012 12:30:10 48,225 posts
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    Good show, Mr Builder!

    /backslap
  • RobTheBuilder 30 Nov 2012 12:31:03 6,521 posts
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    @Blerk thanks coach!
  • sunjumper 30 Nov 2012 12:44:51 3,248 posts
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    @MetalDog
    Yep I am going to continue writing until its done.
    This story should be finished not all to far from the 50k line.
    Once November is over I will slowly put more emphasis back on reading as I think that I am slowly establishing something that resembles a workflow instead of controlled hysteria.
  • evild_edd 30 Nov 2012 12:50:48 3,198 posts
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    Well done Techno!

    Sunjumper: Nice to see that you're carrying on with it. At the risk of sounding like a midwife, I offer you a one-word encouragement: "PUSH!!!"

    I envy anyone who can tell an interesting tale in 50k words. I think I'm doomed to forever be classed as a waffler :/

    Why look, it's a blog:
    http://www.edwardlaven.blogspot.co.uk

  • TechnoHippy 30 Nov 2012 12:54:02 14,716 posts
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    @MetalDog

    The investigation progresses - good stuff. Sorry - no specific comment.

    My books, contests, reviews and author interviews on my blog

  • TechnoHippy 30 Nov 2012 13:06:45 14,716 posts
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    @sunjumper

    Keep on going!

    Chapter 9:

    "As he had introduced him self his deep voice rumbled through the room like a rock slide, shaking the people in the room and bewildering the elephants in the local zoo" - Noce line - I'd be tempted to leave out the people in the room part to make it snappier?

    I like Darius, in fact you have a good mix of characters.

    Love the tour bus :-)

    Awesome - that chapter had me smiling all te way through it.

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  • TechnoHippy 30 Nov 2012 13:08:03 14,716 posts
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    @evild_edd

    Thanks!

    My books, contests, reviews and author interviews on my blog

  • sunjumper 30 Nov 2012 13:17:09 3,248 posts
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    TechnoHippy wrote:
    @sunjumper

    Keep on going!

    Chapter 9:

    "As he had introduced him self his deep voice rumbled through the room like a rock slide, shaking the people in the room and bewildering the elephants in the local zoo" - Nice line - I'd be tempted to leave out the people in the room part to make it snappier?

    I like Darius, in fact you have a good mix of characters.

    Love the tour bus :-)

    Awesome - that chapter had me smiling all the way through it.
    Thank you!
    At one moment I was not sure, thinking that I might be exaggerating a bit, but then I noticed that that's what I was originally aiming for.

    Juggling all the characters is a bit of a nightmare, but so far it seems to be working.
    Ironically having that many different characters on scene makes it easier to keep them in character as it is a more conscious effort to get into their point of view to write them compared to a story with only a few characters. The latter have a slight tendency (when I'm writing obviously) to blend with each other a bit.
  • TechnoHippy 30 Nov 2012 13:45:49 14,716 posts
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    I think over the top is the way forward with your story. One of the points of music is the personality of it.

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  • Salaman 30 Nov 2012 13:48:28 19,603 posts
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    Metal:

    Balestra parked the FRU up the what now? I realise this probably means "car". Not sure if it's the self driving police car type thing, since he's the doc. I get the "err on the side of not explaining too much for fear of reduncancy" but I personally haven't been annoyed by light repetition in books.
    If it's not a whole paragraph of explaining for the new reader which will bore the pants off a reader that read your work before, it should be fine.

    Could be small things like "Althoug the *such and such type car with whatnot abilities* could self park, Balestra parked the FRU up himself". It won't put anyone off and for new readers it reinforces the jargon by linking it to a small explanation. After 2 or 3 of these you can drop it and just use the jargon. I realise I may be way off and the FRU could just as easily be the brand of a very conventional old skool car that the doc happens to drive but the general principle probably applies.

    He'd spent three weeks in a low security prison after the Vera Lynn disaster
    I've got a feeling that Vera Lynn has been mentioned before. It rings a bell sort off. Don't quite recall though.

    Again .. adding half a sentence at the end
    He'd spent three weeks in a low security prison after the Vera Lynn disaster while a bunch of executives tried to decide just who they wanted to hang out to dry for letting a bigwig die/causing X people to die/failing to/actively causing/making them look bad by/...
    can give a new reader a clue of the context without really re-iterating too much.

    Was Walker visiting this place (orphanage?) for a general reason or was he there to see Hainrich in particular? I've got a slight sense of "missing info" here. Same as before. No long exposition needed but if this Collins woman mention Walker's visits, she maybe throw in his motivation? Or a hint at his motivation. i.e. "When Walker first started visiting here after event X because of reason Y he was always alone but later on there was someone with him but only rarely, technician, waited in the car, big eyes, etc."

    Dropped word:
    wished it was socially appropriate to get up and give him a hug. He looked like needed one.
  • sunjumper 30 Nov 2012 13:53:10 3,248 posts
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    @TechnoHippy
    It was always intended to become slightly over the top. As you said, it works well with what music is. It is also in a way the point of the story, which starts in a drab joyless world and ending (hopefully) in a place that is filled with a sense of wonder.

    The structure so far is a bit strange, mostly because it follows a narrative arc which does not follow the paths I'm used to.

    Edited by sunjumper at 13:53:55 30-11-2012

    @Salaman
    The Vera Lynn disaster is the central piece of the first book of the series. The one you are reading now is the third.
    Balestra played a minor but important role in that book. In this case what happened there is not all that important to the story now.

    Minor first story spoilers ahead:
    The Vera Lynn was a space ship that was supposed to be an orbital residence to the super rich. It crashed and burned. It was a 4Life ship.

    If you like MetalDog's new story you should get back and read the other two too. Same universe, very different stories. You'll be in for a treat and I'm sure that MD'd appreciate the feedback.

    Edited by sunjumper at 14:00:42 30-11-2012
  • Salaman 30 Nov 2012 14:25:39 19,603 posts
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    Yeah I was planning to go and read the previous stories as well.

    I accept that the Very Lynn isn't important to this story.
    But this:
    He'd spent three weeks in a low security prison after the Vera Lynn disaster
    Sticks out like a sore thumb for a new reader. Just makes you think "the what now disaster?" and gives you the feeling there's something you're not aware of. Possibly of importance as it's being mentioned.

    Where this sentence (or something along those lines) will not make you stop and wonder + provides a little nod to an earlier story that people who read it will recognise and people who haven't won't be overly concerned about not knowing the details off.

    He'd spent some time in a low security prison after the Vera Lynn crashed and burned. Still, three weeks in there while a bunch of executives tried to decide just who they wanted to hang out to dry for a luxury orbital residence for the super rich falling out of the sky was probably better than three weeks in this place.
  • sunjumper 30 Nov 2012 14:52:38 3,248 posts
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    I agree with you Salaman, I think that these points can bring a reader out of the flow as he/she starts wondering what these mysterious events might have been. It is also at this point not clear if they are relevant to the main plot or part of the world.

    As this is just a first draft these problems can easily be ironed out during the first round of editing.
  • MetalDog 1 Dec 2012 00:20:27 23,920 posts
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    That was the closest thing in the world.
    50k word as banal as it comes = few

    I'm halfway through a scene so I'm posting the complete ones, I'll save this one till its done. There's likely to be a whole lotta shonkiness in what I wrote today.

    Day 30

    @Salaman - some good points, but I'm not sure how many with a barely functioning brain. Will get back to you on those when I've slept and stuff =)

    -- boobs do nothing for me, I want moustaches and chest hair.

  • Blerk Moderator 1 Dec 2012 00:29:08 48,225 posts
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    Congrats, MetalDog!

    And happy end-of-NaNo, chaps! I think we all did rather well again - let's all have tomorrow off. :D

    Did another 1600 words tonight, finishing NaNo with 57,391 words (although I forgot to update my word count on the site before midnight, so my last stint sort of doesn't count). I'll update the blog with all the unpublished stuff over the weekend.
  • sunjumper 1 Dec 2012 03:10:46 3,248 posts
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    Somewhat over 1k leaving me at 40k which is OK.
    Turns out birthday parties with tons of booze does not help with writing.

    I'm even starting to really enjoy the story.
    This one will reach the end and should not be longer than 60k (famous last words...)

    Edited by sunjumper at 03:15:53 01-12-2012
  • Carbon_Altered 1 Dec 2012 10:03:21 736 posts
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    Nice one people - we've had another good year.
  • TechnoHippy 1 Dec 2012 10:56:50 14,716 posts
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    @MetalDog

    Nice work :-)

    Day 30:

    More twists and turns. I'm now suspecting executive level shenanigans.

    Clow makes for a good presence and adds his own intrigue.

    Not too shonky for a pressurised job.

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  • Carbon_Altered 1 Dec 2012 11:59:19 736 posts
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    Ok, so I'm still going:

    Chapter 25

    And

    Chapter 26
  • TechnoHippy 1 Dec 2012 19:37:28 14,716 posts
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    @Carbon_Altered

    Good stuff!

    Chapter 25:

    Nice description of the electronic warfare. I'd like to know more about Si's background.

    Chapter 26:

    Nice twist in the tail there.

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  • sunjumper 1 Dec 2012 23:59:11 3,248 posts
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    Almost 1.7K today. Not finished the chapter though, so the update needs to wait.
  • TechnoHippy 2 Dec 2012 13:00:29 14,716 posts
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    Looking forward to reading it.

    I've trawled through the thread for all the feedback. Thanks to everyone who has provided feedback.

    If there's anyone who hasn't and have time or aren't buried in their own writing I'd welcome any additional comments.

    My books, contests, reviews and author interviews on my blog

  • Carbon_Altered 2 Dec 2012 16:58:17 736 posts
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    @TechnoHippy - I'm very much looking forward to polishing yours off on my commute to work next week. Still got no idea how it's going to end.
  • TechnoHippy 2 Dec 2012 17:56:23 14,716 posts
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    Cool - thanks.

    My books, contests, reviews and author interviews on my blog

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