National Novel Writing Month 2012 Page 35

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  • TechnoHippy 27 Nov 2012 12:17:23 14,698 posts
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    And chapter 40 puts me over 45,000. only 6 more to write!

    http://zenapocalypse.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/faust-20-chapter-40.html

    My books, contests, reviews and author interviews on my blog

  • sunjumper 27 Nov 2012 12:28:20 3,185 posts
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    My newest word count puts me at 32k.
    Oh my...
  • MetalDog 27 Nov 2012 13:01:09 23,708 posts
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    Go Techno! *\o/*

    And you, sunjumper - pedal to the metal, baby!

    -- boobs do nothing for me, I want moustaches and chest hair.

  • Blerk Moderator 27 Nov 2012 13:47:58 48,225 posts
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    MetalDog wrote:
    @Blerk
    A better day, hopefully? You'll feel the celebration when you finish the yarn =D And a little bit of sad, probably, but mostly yay when it's done!
    Usually I just feel relieved when it's done! :D
  • TechnoHippy 27 Nov 2012 16:08:35 14,698 posts
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    Chapter 41 done and dusted, only 5 chapters left.

    http://zenapocalypse.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/faust-20-chapter-41.html

    My books, contests, reviews and author interviews on my blog

  • TechnoHippy 27 Nov 2012 20:27:25 14,698 posts
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    And now we have chapter 42 and I'm up to 47,000 words :-)

    http://zenapocalypse.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/faust-20-chapter-42.html

    My books, contests, reviews and author interviews on my blog

  • MetalDog 27 Nov 2012 23:47:49 23,708 posts
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    Go Techno, you're almost there!

    I'm hoping I can get a sprint on come friday, I'm at 42194 according to nano site.

    Day 27

    -- boobs do nothing for me, I want moustaches and chest hair.

  • sunjumper 28 Nov 2012 04:00:37 3,185 posts
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    33k
    For fucks sake.

    We'll as I still have a chapter that's done already I can post that today.
    I spent far to much time tonight doing everything but writing. grrr...

    Still not giving up.

    Update
  • mrharvest 28 Nov 2012 04:40:18 5,184 posts
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    Keep at it, guys and girls! "Ganbatte!" like the Japanese say. The finish line is already in sight.
  • boo 28 Nov 2012 10:18:31 11,706 posts
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    Metaldog may want to have a word with him. About it being haunted.

    Just Another Lego Blog

  • RedSparrows 28 Nov 2012 10:21:20 22,069 posts
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    It strikes me, not that I know a lot, that despite all the scientific and technical considerations, nobody ever thinks much about the politics, culture and HAVE YOU NOT PLAYED DOOM?!
  • MetalDog 28 Nov 2012 13:19:09 23,708 posts
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    @sunjumper
    Your most important target is finished first draft, over or under 50k. Getting over is nice, but not as important, I reckon.

    You go girl!

    @boo
    They'll find out the hard way =D
    You know if I had the money, I'd be real tempted. It would be incredible to go to Mars, even if it was the last thing you ever did.

    -- boobs do nothing for me, I want moustaches and chest hair.

  • Salaman 28 Nov 2012 13:40:42 18,875 posts
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    Techno:

    Chapter 40:
    Poor Dan. :-/
    At least he set Sarah onto the right track.
    I understand the cops won't let Dan speak to Sarah at his request but vice versa? Wouldn't she be given a chance to speak to him? Although I guess it doesn't matter. Dan planted the seed with her (no nat that way!) so I'm sure realisation will grow.

    Would the choice of a secure wing be left to the prisoner? As the inmate in his cell says. "They don’t put little piggies in with the likes of us".
    If Dan ended up there because he was zoned out when they asked him "So about your cell. Would you like one where you get raped and killed or something away from the nasty fellow inmates that want to hurt you?" how would the demon be able to predict he was going to be there.
    or is this suppose to imply that no matter what Dan had said, Misty had manipulated the prison's system so that he'd be assigned that cell anyway.
    He finished entering the details into the system and received the cell location for Dan. He was quite surprised at the location, but he did his job and handed Dan over to the wing staff.
    In that case .. why have the "secure wing or not" question in there as well?

    As Mark was escorted towards the steps leading to the upper floors he noticed several prisoners indicating towards him and conversing in whispers. Mark? This should be Dan I assume?

    I don't get the second sentence:
    They mentioned your name. And this is the nearest remand nick. Unless there’s two of you? nearest remand nick? huh?

    Editing/re-editing ate some of your sentece here:
    A blow to the stomach and dropped him to his knees

    CH 41
    Framing Sarah as well? Feisty demon.

    CH 42
    The real strength of the bot-net was the paradox of size and secrecy. It lacked any real defence against anything, let alone an entity like the demon.
    What's stopping the demon from just seizing the bot net?
    Without it I assume the Russian's have little or no clout online. Their retribution would normally be physical which is not a concern for the demon.
    Without being able to hide its presence the demon found its activities restricted. Until it could find some way to mask its presence it would remain vulnerable.
    Why accept restrictions and vulnerability?
    They didn’t know what they were up against of course, but it was already fighting a war on multiple fronts. To open another without preparing a new sanctuary first would be very risky.

    So why not take the botnet as sanctuary and eliminate the risk?

    That would cause us a lot of a trouble.
    Not sure if the "a" is there for Russian accent effect or just a random a that wandered into the sentence.
  • Salaman 28 Nov 2012 14:28:13 18,875 posts
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    MetalDog wrote:
    Go Techno, you're almost there!

    I'm hoping I can get a sprint on come friday, I'm at 42194 according to nano site.

    Day 27
    My apologies. I still owe you more overall feedback on the story.
    Chapter 27 for now.

    It was uncomfortably full of brass at the moment and this was the perfect excuse to get away from all the braid for a while.
    I thought I was going to learn something new yet again but googling for braid and getting away from the braid only gets me hair related results. :-/

    It doesn't interfere with my work it's more of a comfort level thing.
    Turn into 2 sentences?
  • MetalDog 28 Nov 2012 14:45:33 23,708 posts
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    @Salaman
    That sentence definitely needs at least a comma. Maybe a split. I'll flag it!

    Uniform Braid

    Don't apologise for not doing more of the thing you don't have to do and I'm grateful for =D

    Next part will have instructions on which bit of your memory you need to rewrite - I realised mid-nap-on-the-train this morning that I had been a dick about something.

    Edited by MetalDog at 14:45:48 28-11-2012

    -- boobs do nothing for me, I want moustaches and chest hair.

  • Salaman 28 Nov 2012 14:56:01 18,875 posts
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    Blerk wrote:
    There's a whole other chapter to get up there too but I've not had a chance to even scan through it so I'll do that tomorrow (I need to throw a few comedy typos in to keep Salaman happy). :)
    Congrats Blerk, you writing machine beast you!
    I was under the impression when they arrived at the eurhm ... housing blocks that it was a fairly small part of the town, sectioned off with fences (to keep them wild animals at bay and such) where they would live and have a mess hall and that's about it. The presence of guards at the gate and in the foyer of the living block at night als gave me the impression they were watched over when they are in this "compound".

    They seem to be strolling around in a much larger area now, including a funfair, a square with a fountain,a library. More importantly. They seem to be all alone. No guards/soldiers nearby or in sight.
    Did I miss something or have I misjudged the scale of things?

    Nothing wrong with this sentence per se but I initially misread it as
    a place that is about noise and light + people that are utterly silent.

    For a place that was so much about noise and light and people to be so utterly silent was possibly the most stark indication I had seen so far that there was something very wrong with this world.

    Most intriguing sentence in that chapter:
    “Floor it, Johnny,” ordered Maxwell, “if we drop this little shit off asap then maybe we’ll still manage to get out for some fun tonight.”
  • Blerk Moderator 28 Nov 2012 15:08:47 48,225 posts
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    Salaman wrote:
    I was under the impression when they arrived at the eurhm ... housing blocks that it was a fairly small part of the town, sectioned off with fences (to keep them wild animals at bay and such) where they would live and have a mess hall and that's about it. The presence of guards at the gate and in the foyer of the living block at night als gave me the impression they were watched over when they are in this "compound".

    They seem to be strolling around in a much larger area now, including a funfair, a square with a fountain,a library. More importantly. They seem to be all alone. No guards/soldiers nearby or in sight.
    Did I miss something or have I misjudged the scale of things?
    In my head, the 'compound' is a fenced off section of the town comprising the promenade area and just a few blocks 'inland'. This is a far larger area than they need, but this is just the initial stage of colonisation and eventually this whole section will be full of miners and specialists and what have you, and there's every intention of reopening the shops and facilities, etc. to service that community.

    As it stands, the few hundred people who are already there are 'rattling around' a bit and there aren't nearly enough military personnel to effectively cover the whole compound (and the base), hence the scientists being restricted to their building after curfew. So the military claims, anyway! :)

    I obviously need to make this clearer, so I'll flag it for the edit.
  • TechnoHippy 28 Nov 2012 16:44:31 14,698 posts
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    Chapter 43 is now up:

    http://zenapocalypse.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/faust-20-chapter-43.html

    I'll catch up with everyone tonight.

    Only 3 more chapters to go, I should be able to polish those off tomorrow - assuming I don't get called in.

    My books, contests, reviews and author interviews on my blog

  • TechnoHippy 28 Nov 2012 16:58:34 14,698 posts
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    @Salaman

    Thanks for the good feedback as always.

    Misty setup Dan and put him in that cell, that's why the guard looked surprised atthe cell allocation. I should make that more obvious.

    Remand nick is slang - probably not needed.

    The demon could seize the bot-net, but would then have the Russian mob after it. While they don't know what they're dealing with, they do know where the computers are and have some handy hackers of their own. I probably need to explain why the demon is loathe to take them on (yet).

    My books, contests, reviews and author interviews on my blog

  • TechnoHippy 28 Nov 2012 21:38:03 14,698 posts
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    @MetalDog

    Time for some catch up :-)

    Day 27:

    The scent stuff is great, it also puts a different perspective on the investigation.

    Interesting observation on the techs.

    My books, contests, reviews and author interviews on my blog

  • Carbon_Altered 28 Nov 2012 21:52:40 675 posts
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    Chapter 24: Ostrich v Titan

    I'm out the next two evenings so will be validating it all tonight, feels a bit odd not to have totally finished though.
  • TechnoHippy 28 Nov 2012 21:57:00 14,698 posts
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    @sunjumper

    I'm pleased to hear you're not giving up, you've got an interesting story.

    Chapter 7:

    “He is right you know?” - The questions is rhetorical?

    “The plan remains the same. What happened is you act of considerable generosity.” - you should be your

    The lost memory was nicely done.

    Edited by TechnoHippy at 22:29:19 28-11-2012

    My books, contests, reviews and author interviews on my blog

  • Deleted user 28 November 2012 21:59:13
    What's the wordcount now, TH? Must be on the line by now, surely?
  • Salaman 28 Nov 2012 22:28:15 18,875 posts
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    TechnoHippy wrote:
    @Salaman
    Misty setup Dan and put him in that cell, that's why the guard looked surprised atthe cell allocation. I should make that more obvious.
    Well ... I got the guards surprise is because Misty got him assigned that cell. That much is obvious. I don't get why right before that it's made out as if Dan unwittingly gets himself assigned a cell in "general population" instead of "secure wing" by being dozy and answering one of the questions "wrong". Since Misty is manipulating the cell allocation I don't get the relevance of the bit before.

    TechnoHippy wrote:
    The demon could seize the bot-net, but would then have the Russian mob after it. While they don't know what they're dealing with, they do know where the computers are and have some handy hackers of their own. I probably need to explain why the demon is loathe to take them on (yet).
    Aaaah that does make sense. I was thinking of the bot net of just a bunch of computers worldwide infected by a trojan and under the control of the maffia. If she takes control, they're shut out and can't do anything. They can come break your fingers since they'll be made but Misty is exempt from that treatment. =)
    But I suppose a bot net is run from somewhere and the Russians and their pointy heads do have access to that and can start hassling the demon, on top of the heat it's getting with all antivirus companies on it's case and the police/intelligence, etc.

    Makes sense.


    Oh and Ch 43:
    Some confusion for me over the events around the taxi:

    Reynolds heard the driver’s door open. The driver without a clear shot decided to come round and finish the job.
    So I'm imagining the guy getting out and starting to walk around to the back of the vehicle (could be front I suppose) to reposition himself.
    Imagine the this is the cab seen top down. 4 seats in the back, partition + two seats in front. It's facing left to right.
    D
    [::|:]
    SR

    Reynolds meanwhile slipped forwards around the taxi to come at the driver from behind as he aimed his next shot at Sarah.
    Still with you. The driver got out, walked to the back end of the taxi and Reynolds is going around the front to sneak up past the driver door and tackle him from behind
    D R
    [::|:]

    The pain in his shoulder seemed abstract from the adrenalin rush, but flared into a shout as he impacted the door. The collision knocked the driver forwards, spoiling his aim.
    Why is he hitting the door instead of the driver?

    The driver stepped back, freeing himself from the door.
    Only when this sentence comes did I think that the driver may have just opened his driver side door and got out, standing right next to the car, sort of in the open driver door.
    D\
    [::|:]
    SR
    So Reynolds slams the door shut getting the guy stuck between the car and door and he then frees himself again.
    D\R
    [::|:]

    Maybe make it a bit more explicit as to what the driver does when he gets out. So it's clear he's not going around towards the back from the vehicle but just gets out?

    These Russians aren't mucking about huh.
    Quite dreadful reading the romantic walk description knowing they'll be set upon by hitmen any second now. :-)
    Poor Reynolds as well. We hardly knew him. And he was about to get his noodle wet as well.
    Life can be harsh sometimes.

    Edited by Salaman at 22:41:01 28-11-2012
  • TechnoHippy 28 Nov 2012 22:32:16 14,698 posts
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    @meme

    48,500 with three chapters to write - I should finish tomorrow.

    My books, contests, reviews and author interviews on my blog

  • Salaman 28 Nov 2012 22:57:12 18,875 posts
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    Carbon_Altered wrote:
    Chapter 24: Ostrich v Titan

    I'm out the next two evenings so will be validating it all tonight, feels a bit odd not to have totally finished though.
    Brilliant. :-)

    You had me confused on Mason's sex for a second or two here.
    Within half a second he was up and running, initially going silent, turning off as many active processes as possible to reduce the chance of the Titan's tracking him, much as Mason had been doing as he first came in to land.
    Sounds like Mason had also started turning off processes when landing but had a sex change as well.
    I assume you mean Mason had been turning off processes whilst Sully was landing?
  • MetalDog 29 Nov 2012 00:27:32 23,708 posts
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    Short one. Friday had better be awesome writing brain time at this rate.

    Day 28

    -- boobs do nothing for me, I want moustaches and chest hair.

  • sunjumper 29 Nov 2012 04:18:59 3,185 posts
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    Thanks for your feedback. As always much appreciated and I have to say that hearing that you liked the memory bit makes me quite happy.

    Reached 35k today. I should have started sooner. Now I am in kind of a flow but faaar to knackered to go on.

    Lesson of the day: don't be a lazy fucker, kids, you'll only be sorry later.

    Update

    Edited by sunjumper at 04:19:11 29-11-2012


    Looking at my stats I have to say that I am mildly annoyed. I've been writing an average of 1250 words a day, about 400 less than I needed to win easily. 400 words is nothing! It is also frustrating to see that I am actually really close to the finishing line, the evil blue bar is mostly full by now. But then I realise that I've written 35,000 words. That's 32,000 more than last month working with a story that was pretty much stillborn. Stillborn and hated by its father.

    So in the end, even if I should not make it in time, there is a a lot to be proud of.

    To everyone else who has been writing your are all a bunch of heroes for sacrificing a month to this crazy arse endeavor. Those of you who have already passed the 50k mark or will pass it shortly you are doubly heroes.
    But even every one else, including those that maybe just wrote a sentence or only got a few chapters in and those who write in darkness hiding from all the rest of the world because they are not ready yet. You all did good. Because starting write at all is maybe not half way there but at least a third.

    Now. Sleep... -_-

    Edited by sunjumper at 04:29:36 29-11-2012
  • evild_edd 29 Nov 2012 09:48:49 3,017 posts
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    @sunjumper: cracking effort and, as you rightly say, plenty of positives for you to take from this NaNo - hope you're not feeling as sleepy as your avatar cat this morning...

    Good news from me: I ticked over the 50k word mark last night! Still a good way off completing the story (est. 80-90k words), but happy enough with my progress. Feel like I've just crested the hill of building the characters and plot points, and now it's a downhill ride toward the finale...

    @TechnoHippy - I'm looking forward to an update to say you've hit that target as well :0)

    Why look, it's a blog:
    http://www.edwardlaven.blogspot.co.uk

  • Salaman 29 Nov 2012 09:55:38 18,875 posts
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    Blerk wrote:
    In my head, the 'compound' is a fenced off section of the town comprising the promenade area and just a few blocks 'inland'. This is a far larger area than they need, but this is just the initial stage of colonisation and eventually this whole section will be full of miners and specialists and what have you, and there's every intention of reopening the shops and facilities, etc. to service that community.

    As it stands, the few hundred people who are already there are 'rattling around' a bit and there aren't nearly enough military personnel to effectively cover the whole compound (and the base), hence the scientists being restricted to their building after curfew. So the military claims, anyway! :)

    I obviously need to make this clearer, so I'll flag it for the edit.
    Makes sense. I had a look at the section where they arrive again to see what clues there are as I may have just missed them.

    The fence was very much like the one that had surrounded the hospital courtyard except far taller and it stretched across the road in both directions as far as I could make out.

    I moved closer to Dan so that I might get a better look out of the window at the town itself, or at least the cordoned-off area which was the compound.
    The bus travelled a few hundred metres along a fairly unremarkable road and then took several sharp corners, alternating left and then right along narrow streets until I wasn’t quite sure which direction we were even facing.


    ...while the other presented an endless stream of hotels and guest houses, gift shops and amusement arcades. A slight bend in the road brought the distant silhouette of the funfair into sight and a short pier jutted out from what looked like it might be a harbour.

    There's quite some clues there that indicate the place that has been cordoned off with the fence is fairly big.
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