Hurting other people's children Page 4

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  • nickthegun 24 Jul 2012 10:27:51 60,159 posts
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    Its not just the area. When she is cuddling up to you on the sofa, she uses her elbows to manouver into position and it feels like you are being shanked.

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    someone say something funny

  • Vortex808 24 Jul 2012 10:31:36 7,217 posts
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    You've done well Sal! Unless little boys behave far wilder than girls.

    Nearly every time our boy climbs in the bed at the crack of dawn and wriggles around seems to involve his heel or knee connecting with my plums.

    Never mind when he wants to get your attention and seems to like to whack you around the middle to get your attention.

    Play fighting (usually Vilgax v Ben10 just now), or general capering about often seem to lead to my ending up in pain too.

    It doesn't help that he's 5 now and getting much bigger and heavier. He almost flattened the missus by jumping on her the other day!

    Edited by Vortex808 at 10:32:38 24-07-2012
  • Deckard1 24 Jul 2012 10:46:43 28,262 posts
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    mrpon wrote:
    Deckard1 wrote:
    Stop wearing pants around the house. He'll soon stop.
    Yay a swingrope.

    No thanks.
    If you penis can ever be mistaken for a climbing rope then your wife is a very lucky lady. And is probably bow legged.
  • smoothpete 24 Jul 2012 10:51:24 31,536 posts
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    I always play fight with my nephew. Last time the neighbours child was there too, I had my nephew on my shoulders and the 9 year old kid from next door punched me full force square in the nuts. I dropped like a sack of shit. You forget how much it hurts!
  • neilka 24 Jul 2012 11:12:55 16,106 posts
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    Deckard's genitalia are often mistaken for an acorn and a couple of pine nuts. By baby squirrels. Which he keeps in his trousers.

    Lastly, I am gay, disabled, and a liberal.

  • Deckard1 24 Jul 2012 11:16:42 28,262 posts
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    Its actually Akon it gets mistaken for. As its all muscular. And black.

    /one for the yoof that one
  • nickthegun 24 Jul 2012 11:25:49 60,159 posts
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    smoothpete wrote:
    I always play fight with my nephew. Last time the neighbours child was there too, I had my nephew on my shoulders and the 9 year old kid from next door punched me full force square in the nuts. I dropped like a sack of shit. You forget how much it hurts!
    I was round at my mates house and he and his 5 year old son were playing power rangers. The lad did a kick like murtaugh did in lethal weapon, where he knocks the water cooler over, square in my mates area.

    He went down like a sack of potatoes. Red Ranger 4 Lyfe

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    someone say something funny

  • nickthegun 24 Jul 2012 11:27:46 60,159 posts
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    Deckard1 wrote:
    Its actually Akon it gets mistaken for. As its all muscular. And black.

    And lonely. Sooooo lonely.

    yeah, I listen to the hit parade

    Edited by nickthegun at 11:28:02 24-07-2012

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    someone say something funny

  • Salaman 24 Jul 2012 11:39:35 19,140 posts
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    This could be a hole other thread: "Getting hurt by children".
    It can be used to counterbalance the "manliest thing you ever done thread".

    "I just felled a tree by chopping at it with my bare hand for 2 days!"
    Yeah but didn't you post in that other thread that you were brought to your knees/tears by a 3 year old girl when she landed her magic rainbow wand smack in your nutsack?
  • Clive_Dunn 24 Jul 2012 12:46:46 4,780 posts
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    Playing footie in a park whilst at university a group of 8 year olds joined us, sure enough one of them was a good player and decided it would be fun to play keep away from me, laughing and showing off to his mates.

    I decided this sort of cocky behaviour should be rewarded, and went straight through the back of him with both feet in the air.

    Cue gasps of astonishment and floods of tears from the not so cocky now 8 year old. No lasting damage as he still could run quickly in the direction of his dad.
  • localnotail 24 Jul 2012 20:39:20 23,093 posts
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    I've accidentally knocked a few babies into walls but no marks means no proof, right? I don't really like holding other people's babies, until they can communicate in some way - once they start learning they are fun.

    There have been a few other incidents of bigger kids and spinning games getting out of hand, but the kids seemed able to take that as the cost of fun. A lot of my festivalling friends have kids and I like playing with them - clears the hangover well.

    I did smack one of my friend's kids on the back of the legs after watching her pinch and punch her way to stealing special treats off the other younger kids despite being told off several times. She looked really shocked as her parents are non-smacking hippies, and there was that weird moment of truth where everyone including her parents went quiet. Then I told her to give everything back, and think about whether she'd like it if people took her stuff. About an hour later she came back to tell me she wouldn't like it, and I bought her an ice-cream to make her remember that. Her parents still apparently tell her if she doesn't behave they will send her to me for punishment. I'm like her personal Candywoman.

    Edited by localnotail at 20:41:07 24-07-2012

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • Lukus 24 Jul 2012 21:06:40 19,148 posts
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    A smack for an icecream? Sounds like a fair trade.

    Paintings & Photographs

  • thelzdking 24 Jul 2012 21:47:07 4,367 posts
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    I find that smack keeps them docile.

    Edited by thelzdking at 21:51:50 24-07-2012
  • DodgyPast 25 Jul 2012 03:21:22 8,479 posts
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    I do have to watch out for treading on feet when teaching.

    But the incident I feel worst about was when two kids started trading blows after one accused the other of stealing his pencil. Calmed the situation down... packed the accuser and fight starter who'd started crying off with a teaching assistant while I carefully explained in broken Thai to the accused that stealing was wrong. Then after class discovered the missing pencil in my pocket.
  • Rusty_M 25 Jul 2012 06:57:41 4,706 posts
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    the devious bastard planted it there!

    The world is going mad. Me? I'm doing fine.

  • morriss 25 Jul 2012 07:04:07 71,037 posts
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    Non-smacking hippies?!

    You smack a kid, you've got fucking mental problems. It's your own frustration you can't keep a lid on.

    Christ. You just had a kid too innit. You smack it, I'll report you.
  • Deleted user 25 July 2012 07:07:14
    If someone else smacked my child then I'd belt them one. Just because they're a child doesn't mean you can assault them.
  • Deleted user 25 July 2012 07:17:54
    Actually that story doesn't ring true. The kid's parents are 'non-smacking hippies' but apparently had no issue with someone else hitting their child and continue to use that act as a deterrent? Surely if they were that against it they would have been extremely angry with you and would have been comforting the child, making threats of future assaults meaningless.
  • localnotail 25 Jul 2012 08:15:10 23,093 posts
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    We did this discussion a couple of years ago. If I could, I'd search out the thread. Too tired to argue the points over again, but I am culturally ok with rare light, non-damaging smacking after verbal reprimands have failed to change behavior. Happened in my family and educational experience.

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • mrpon 25 Jul 2012 08:29:35 29,002 posts
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    Smacking your own child, possibly yes. A close relatives child, very doubtful. A friends child?! Holy shit no.

    Give yourself £5 or ½ gig, you're worth it.

  • elstoof 25 Jul 2012 08:59:04 7,517 posts
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    What about children who's parents you don't know?
  • mrpon 25 Jul 2012 09:05:07 29,002 posts
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    Fill your boots.

    Give yourself £5 or ½ gig, you're worth it.

  • THFourteen 25 Jul 2012 09:27:11 33,623 posts
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    Aargh. wrote:
    If someone else smacked my child then I'd belt them one. Just because they're a child doesn't mean you can assault them.
    you have a child!?

    dear god.
  • Deleted user 25 July 2012 09:34:25
    No. Have you heard of the word 'hypothetical'?
  • DaM 25 Jul 2012 09:35:31 13,272 posts
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    mrpon wrote:
    Smacking your own child, possibly yes. A close relatives child, very doubtful. A friends child?! Holy shit no.
    My child who should be smacked rarely does as the bastard runs away, and laughs at me when I can't catch him.

    I give me nephews and nieces a good ticking off. Oh and on holiday in france recently, I tore into some French boys, in sort of French! They were coming down a large water slide straight after young children, crashing into them on the way down. I had already asked them to leave 20 secs after the wee ones had gone down. But they didn't. Cue bunch of injured children (not mine). Not sure if they understood what I was on about. I threw in some Glaswegian swearing after the French to reinforce it.
  • kalel 25 Jul 2012 10:26:37 87,933 posts
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    If the purpose of smacking isn’t to hurt them, then why do it at all? Surely whatever it is that a “non-damaging smack” achieves, if it isn’t pain, it can be done by some other means.
  • Alastair 25 Jul 2012 10:28:52 15,889 posts
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    DaM wrote:
    I give me nephews and nieces a good ticking off. Oh and on holiday in france recently, I tore into some French boys, in sort of French! They were coming down a large water slide straight after young children, crashing into them on the way down. I had already asked them to leave 20 secs after the wee ones had gone down. But they didn't. Cue bunch of injured children (not mine). Not sure if they understood what I was on about. I threw in some Glaswegian swearing after the French to reinforce it.
    I think smacking French kids is acceptable.
  • Alastair 25 Jul 2012 10:29:51 15,889 posts
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    kalel wrote:
    If the purpose of smacking isn’t to hurt them, then why do it at all? Surely whatever it is that a “non-damaging smack” achieves, if it isn’t pain, it can be done by some other means.
    kalel='non smacking hippy'
    Confirmed!
  • Deckard1 25 Jul 2012 10:31:38 28,262 posts
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    If I'm looking after my nephews I keep pins in my pockets. If they start any of their shit I jab them in the arms or legs with the pins. I also kicked one in the balls the other week but he was being a complete twat, and wouldn't stop asking for some juice when I playing on the xbox.
  • sirtacos 25 Jul 2012 10:31:38 7,287 posts
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    Thought thread title was "Hunting other people's children".
    Never mind those anecdotes then...

    I once crashed into a kid at full-speed on a ski slope. He started crying like a pussy, so I promptly left the scene. To be fair, it was entirely his fault. Kid fucking cut me off from my blind spot on the worst possible part of the slope.

    I hate kids on ski slopes. No matter how good they are, they often act like psychopathic Audi drivers (i.e. cunts) with none of the accountability.
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