Are you Mr Perfect?

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  • Bremenacht 12 May 2012 12:37:01 15,741 posts
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    From Daily Star - you gotta tick all the boxes:

    1 5'5" with stacked trainers
    2 Obese, or malnourished - nothing inbetween
    3 Bloodshot eyes
    4 Greasy hair. Five day old hair-gel.
    5 No dress sense.
    6 Knows the best apps.
    7 A beer or lager or red bull drinker.
    8 A non-smoker.
    9 Wears jeans for months without washing them, new t-shirt.
    10 Gets ready in 17 minutes.
    11 Earns around 28,000 a year.
    12 Wants a Playstation Vita.
    13 Loves on-line shopping.
    14 Eats crisps.
    15 Watches HBO.
    16 Neckbeard.
    17 Smooth-chested.
    18 Enjoys watching football on Sky.
    19 Rides the bus.
    20 Well-educated in multiple programming languages.
    21 Earns more than his Mum.
    22 Jokes around and has a laugh.
    23 Nerd-rage you are upset.
    24 Tells you he loves you only when he wants pocket-money.
    25 Admits it when he looks at other porn-sites.
    26 Has a mario kart licence.
    27 Bored now.
    28 Can ride a bike.
    29 This doesn't seem such a good idea after all, but I'll post it anyway.
    30 Talks his mother regularly, when she cleans his room.

    How do you match up?

    Once an eagle taught me courage. And I will never forget that day

  • graysonavich 12 May 2012 12:43:07 6,797 posts
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    31 Ability to see a thread a few posts down from the top
  • neilka 12 May 2012 12:50:22 14,940 posts
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    32 Ability to read a post before replying
  • SolidSCB 12 May 2012 12:54:05 5,822 posts
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    33. Wipes cock on curtains.
  • graysonavich 12 May 2012 13:10:52 6,797 posts
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    34 Only scans the username then mentally blocks out the rest

    35 Doesn't quite get the point of making a thread the next day
  • SolidSCB 12 May 2012 13:19:41 5,822 posts
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    36. Must not eat all the 'flavours' in crisp multipacks first, leaving only ready salted.
  • Fatiguez 12 May 2012 13:29:10 8,655 posts
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    Joke's on them, because I'm actually rather fond of ready salted.
  • KayJay 12 May 2012 14:01:11 5,287 posts
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    What does "Ready Salted" actually mean?
    I mean, Ermm. I don't know what I mean. Do you know what I mean?

    /explodes
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