Are you Mr Perfect?

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  • Bremenacht 12 May 2012 12:37:01 18,242 posts
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    From Daily Star - you gotta tick all the boxes:

    1 5'5" with stacked trainers
    2 Obese, or malnourished - nothing inbetween
    3 Bloodshot eyes
    4 Greasy hair. Five day old hair-gel.
    5 No dress sense.
    6 Knows the best apps.
    7 A beer or lager or red bull drinker.
    8 A non-smoker.
    9 Wears jeans for months without washing them, new t-shirt.
    10 Gets ready in 17 minutes.
    11 Earns around 28,000 a year.
    12 Wants a Playstation Vita.
    13 Loves on-line shopping.
    14 Eats crisps.
    15 Watches HBO.
    16 Neckbeard.
    17 Smooth-chested.
    18 Enjoys watching football on Sky.
    19 Rides the bus.
    20 Well-educated in multiple programming languages.
    21 Earns more than his Mum.
    22 Jokes around and has a laugh.
    23 Nerd-rage you are upset.
    24 Tells you he loves you only when he wants pocket-money.
    25 Admits it when he looks at other porn-sites.
    26 Has a mario kart licence.
    27 Bored now.
    28 Can ride a bike.
    29 This doesn't seem such a good idea after all, but I'll post it anyway.
    30 Talks his mother regularly, when she cleans his room.

    How do you match up?
  • graysonavich 12 May 2012 12:43:07 7,345 posts
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    31 Ability to see a thread a few posts down from the top
  • neilka 12 May 2012 12:50:22 15,919 posts
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    32 Ability to read a post before replying

    A map is like comparing velocity and speed.

  • SolidSCB 12 May 2012 12:54:05 6,702 posts
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    33. Wipes cock on curtains.
  • graysonavich 12 May 2012 13:10:52 7,345 posts
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    34 Only scans the username then mentally blocks out the rest

    35 Doesn't quite get the point of making a thread the next day
  • SolidSCB 12 May 2012 13:19:41 6,702 posts
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    36. Must not eat all the 'flavours' in crisp multipacks first, leaving only ready salted.
  • Fatiguez 12 May 2012 13:29:10 8,736 posts
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    Joke's on them, because I'm actually rather fond of ready salted.
  • KayJay 12 May 2012 14:01:11 5,288 posts
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    What does "Ready Salted" actually mean?
    I mean, Ermm. I don't know what I mean. Do you know what I mean?

    /explodes
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