Are you Mr Perfect?

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  • sport 11 May 2012 16:00:12 12,719 posts
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    From Daily Star - you gotta tick all the boxes:

    1 Six foot tall.
    2 Muscly, toned and athletic.
    3 Brown eyes.
    4 Short, dark hair.
    5 Smart dress sense.
    6 Stylish.
    7 A beer or lager drinker. 8 A non-smoker.
    9 Wears smart jeans, shirt and V-neck jumper.
    10 Gets ready in 17 minutes.
    11 Earns around 48,000 a year.
    12 Wants a family.
    13 Loves shopping.
    14 Eats meat.
    15 Watches soaps.
    16 Clean-shaven.
    17 Smooth-chested.
    18 Enjoys watching football.
    19 Drives an Audi.
    20 Well-educated.
    21 Earns more than his partner.
    22 Jokes around and has a laugh.
    23 Sensitive when you are upset.
    24 Tells you he loves you only when he means it.
    25 Admits it when he looks at other women.
    26 Has a driving licence.
    27 Can swim.
    28 Can ride a bike.
    29 Can change a tyre.
    30 Rings his mother regularly.

    How do you match up?
  • megastar 11 May 2012 16:02:12 17,186 posts
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  • Stickman 11 May 2012 16:02:28 29,666 posts
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    Does heavy breathing at your mum down the phone count?

    THIS SPACE FOR RENT

  • Bremenacht 11 May 2012 16:02:49 18,222 posts
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    7...
    14...

    I'm done.
  • nickthegun 11 May 2012 16:03:27 59,887 posts
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    megastar wrote:
    *MAY NOT BE PERFECT

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    someone say something funny

  • CosmicFuzz 11 May 2012 16:03:37 24,252 posts
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    Only if it's your mum.

    Our month-long focus on indie games starts with my look at the PS4's best game (still): Resogun!

  • BillMurray 11 May 2012 16:04:03 7,737 posts
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    Sounds like a boring bastard.
  • oceanmotion 11 May 2012 16:04:17 15,926 posts
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    Sounds Gay.
  • nickthegun 11 May 2012 16:04:58 59,887 posts
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    1. Girlfriend drives a Honda
    2. Has workout tapes by Fonda

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    someone say something funny

  • Stickman 11 May 2012 16:06:10 29,666 posts
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    You could nail 29 out of 30 of those, but if you're not ticking box number 2 the rest aren't worth shit.

    Women like to make out they're all complex and shit, but show them a six pack and they'll queue up to frot themselves on it.

    THIS SPACE FOR RENT

  • sport 11 May 2012 16:06:12 12,719 posts
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    I'm about 33% perfect.
  • Razz 11 May 2012 16:06:18 61,197 posts
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    31. Is randomly mean to you to keep you interested

    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Steam/PSN/XBOX: Razztafarai | 3DS: 1246-9674-8856
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  • mrpon 11 May 2012 16:06:28 28,898 posts
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    oceanmotion wrote:
    31. Sounds Gay.
    You got a point! Congrats!

    Give yourself 5 or gig, you're worth it.

  • Whizzo 11 May 2012 16:06:30 43,121 posts
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    31. Doesn't read the Daily Star so wouldn't see this stupid list.

    This space left intentionally blank.

  • Mr-Brett 11 May 2012 16:06:31 12,787 posts
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    Mr Perfect doesn't drive an Audi, I think they got that one confused with Mr Cunt.

    Portable view - Never forget.

  • billythekid 11 May 2012 16:07:14 11,131 posts
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    17 Smooth-chested.

    Dammit I've failed on one item. Who wants to be Mr Immac anyway.
  • Alastair 11 May 2012 16:07:32 15,715 posts
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    I am almost all of those, and have long known that I am Mr Perfect.
    4, 15, and 19 are out.

    Not as nice as I used to be

  • L_Franko Moderator 11 May 2012 16:07:34 9,694 posts
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    They forgot to add that he needs to own an iphone.
  • Razz 11 May 2012 16:07:43 61,197 posts
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    Going by that list Mr Perfect would drive an SUV

    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Steam/PSN/XBOX: Razztafarai | 3DS: 1246-9674-8856
    --------------------------------------------------------------------

  • localnotail 11 May 2012 16:07:45 23,093 posts
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    sport wrote:
    3 Brown eyes.
    4 Short, dark hair.
    7 A beer or lager drinker.
    8 A non-smoker.
    10 Gets ready in 17 minutes.
    12 Wants a family.
    14 Eats meat.
    16 Clean-shaven.
    17 Smooth-chested.
    18 Enjoys watching football.
    20 Well-educated.
    22 Jokes around and has a laugh.
    23 Sensitive when you are upset.
    24 Tells you he loves you only when he means it.
    25 Admits it when he looks at other women.
    26 Has a driving licence.
    27 Can swim.
    28 Can ride a bike.
    29 Can change a tyre.
    30 Rings his mother regularly.

    How do you match up?
    20/30

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • sport 11 May 2012 16:09:16 12,719 posts
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    @localnotail - how does Stouffer match up?
  • localnotail 11 May 2012 16:12:04 23,093 posts
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    sport wrote:
    @localnotail - how does Stouffer match up?
    17/30 Blonde, slightly scruffy, blue-eyed veggie that he is.

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • heyyo 11 May 2012 16:14:33 14,373 posts
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    sport wrote:
    1 Six foot tall.
    2 Muscly, toned and athletic.
    11 Earns around 48,000 a year.
    12 Wants a family.
    14 Eats meat.
    20 Well-educated.
    27 Can swim.
    Fixed for truth
  • MetalDog 11 May 2012 16:15:25 23,697 posts
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    Why would what they drink matter? Provided they're not necking meths, surely how much they drink is more important?

    And hairy chests FTW (on men, anyway)

    -- boobs do nothing for me, I want moustaches and chest hair.

  • disusedgenius 11 May 2012 16:16:27 5,314 posts
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    Do you get extra points for being over 6 foot, or is that an exact requirement?
  • bitch_tits_zero_nine 11 May 2012 16:17:17 6,654 posts
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    MetalDog wrote:
    Why would what they drink matter? Provided they're not necking meths, surely how much they drink is more important?

    And hairy chests FTW (on men, anyway)
    heh, tick all the boxes except drinks meths.
  • Deleted user 11 May 2012 16:17:18
    sport wrote:
    14 Eats meat.
    Do cocks count?

    sport wrote:
    13 Loves shopping.
    15 Watches soaps.
    17 Smooth-chested.
    Apparently so.
  • Deleted user 11 May 2012 16:22:23
    sport wrote:

    7 A beer or lager drinker.
    8 A non-smoker.
    14 Eats meat.
    18 Enjoys watching football.
    19 Drives an Audi.
    22 Jokes around and has a laugh.
    23 Sensitive when you are upset.
    25 Admits it when he looks at other women.
    26 Has a driving licence.
    27 Can swim.
    28 Can ride a bike.
    29 Can change a tyre.

  • bitch_tits_zero_nine 11 May 2012 16:24:23 6,654 posts
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    Ironic that the more boxes the guy ticks, the bigger the chicks rack.

    Super deep and sensitive.
  • localnotail 11 May 2012 16:25:48 23,093 posts
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    MetalDog wrote:
    Why would what they drink matter? Provided they're not necking meths, surely how much they drink is more important?
    It's the ooh-ah Daily Star - why are you expecting this to be in any way intelligent? ;)

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

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