Are you Mr Perfect?

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  • sport 11 May 2012 16:00:12 13,066 posts
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    From Daily Star - you gotta tick all the boxes:

    1 Six foot tall.
    2 Muscly, toned and athletic.
    3 Brown eyes.
    4 Short, dark hair.
    5 Smart dress sense.
    6 Stylish.
    7 A beer or lager drinker. 8 A non-smoker.
    9 Wears smart jeans, shirt and V-neck jumper.
    10 Gets ready in 17 minutes.
    11 Earns around 48,000 a year.
    12 Wants a family.
    13 Loves shopping.
    14 Eats meat.
    15 Watches soaps.
    16 Clean-shaven.
    17 Smooth-chested.
    18 Enjoys watching football.
    19 Drives an Audi.
    20 Well-educated.
    21 Earns more than his partner.
    22 Jokes around and has a laugh.
    23 Sensitive when you are upset.
    24 Tells you he loves you only when he means it.
    25 Admits it when he looks at other women.
    26 Has a driving licence.
    27 Can swim.
    28 Can ride a bike.
    29 Can change a tyre.
    30 Rings his mother regularly.

    How do you match up?
  • megastar 11 May 2012 16:02:12 17,235 posts
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  • Stickman 11 May 2012 16:02:28 29,660 posts
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    Does heavy breathing at your mum down the phone count?
  • Bremenacht 11 May 2012 16:02:49 21,766 posts
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    7...
    14...

    I'm done.
  • nickthegun 11 May 2012 16:03:27 64,295 posts
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    megastar wrote:
    *MAY NOT BE PERFECT
  • CosmicFuzz 11 May 2012 16:03:37 28,846 posts
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    Only if it's your mum.
  • BillMurray 11 May 2012 16:04:03 8,281 posts
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    Sounds like a boring bastard.
  • oceanmotion 11 May 2012 16:04:17 16,403 posts
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    Sounds Gay.
  • nickthegun 11 May 2012 16:04:58 64,295 posts
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    1. Girlfriend drives a Honda
    2. Has workout tapes by Fonda
  • Stickman 11 May 2012 16:06:10 29,660 posts
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    You could nail 29 out of 30 of those, but if you're not ticking box number 2 the rest aren't worth shit.

    Women like to make out they're all complex and shit, but show them a six pack and they'll queue up to frot themselves on it.
  • sport 11 May 2012 16:06:12 13,066 posts
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    I'm about 33% perfect.
  • Razz 11 May 2012 16:06:18 62,233 posts
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    31. Is randomly mean to you to keep you interested
  • mrpon 11 May 2012 16:06:28 30,587 posts
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    oceanmotion wrote:
    31. Sounds Gay.
    You got a point! Congrats!
  • Whizzo 11 May 2012 16:06:30 43,952 posts
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    31. Doesn't read the Daily Star so wouldn't see this stupid list.
  • Mr-Brett 11 May 2012 16:06:31 13,261 posts
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    Mr Perfect doesn't drive an Audi, I think they got that one confused with Mr Cunt.
  • billythekid 11 May 2012 16:07:14 11,758 posts
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    17 Smooth-chested.

    Dammit I've failed on one item. Who wants to be Mr Immac anyway.
  • Alastair 11 May 2012 16:07:32 17,074 posts
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    I am almost all of those, and have long known that I am Mr Perfect.
    4, 15, and 19 are out.
  • L_Franko Moderator 11 May 2012 16:07:34 9,695 posts
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    They forgot to add that he needs to own an iphone.
  • Razz 11 May 2012 16:07:43 62,233 posts
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    Going by that list Mr Perfect would drive an SUV
  • localnotail 11 May 2012 16:07:45 23,084 posts
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    sport wrote:
    3 Brown eyes.
    4 Short, dark hair.
    7 A beer or lager drinker.
    8 A non-smoker.
    10 Gets ready in 17 minutes.
    12 Wants a family.
    14 Eats meat.
    16 Clean-shaven.
    17 Smooth-chested.
    18 Enjoys watching football.
    20 Well-educated.
    22 Jokes around and has a laugh.
    23 Sensitive when you are upset.
    24 Tells you he loves you only when he means it.
    25 Admits it when he looks at other women.
    26 Has a driving licence.
    27 Can swim.
    28 Can ride a bike.
    29 Can change a tyre.
    30 Rings his mother regularly.

    How do you match up?
    20/30
  • sport 11 May 2012 16:09:16 13,066 posts
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    @localnotail - how does Stouffer match up?
  • localnotail 11 May 2012 16:12:04 23,084 posts
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    sport wrote:
    @localnotail - how does Stouffer match up?
    17/30 Blonde, slightly scruffy, blue-eyed veggie that he is.
  • heyyo 11 May 2012 16:14:33 14,364 posts
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    sport wrote:
    1 Six foot tall.
    2 Muscly, toned and athletic.
    11 Earns around 48,000 a year.
    12 Wants a family.
    14 Eats meat.
    20 Well-educated.
    27 Can swim.
    Fixed for truth
  • MetalDog 11 May 2012 16:15:25 23,928 posts
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    Why would what they drink matter? Provided they're not necking meths, surely how much they drink is more important?

    And hairy chests FTW (on men, anyway)
  • disusedgenius 11 May 2012 16:16:27 6,337 posts
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    Do you get extra points for being over 6 foot, or is that an exact requirement?
  • Deleted user 11 May 2012 16:17:17
    MetalDog wrote:
    Why would what they drink matter? Provided they're not necking meths, surely how much they drink is more important?

    And hairy chests FTW (on men, anyway)
    heh, tick all the boxes except drinks meths.
  • Deleted user 11 May 2012 16:17:18
    sport wrote:
    14 Eats meat.
    Do cocks count?

    sport wrote:
    13 Loves shopping.
    15 Watches soaps.
    17 Smooth-chested.
    Apparently so.
  • Deleted user 11 May 2012 16:22:23
    sport wrote:

    7 A beer or lager drinker.
    8 A non-smoker.
    14 Eats meat.
    18 Enjoys watching football.
    19 Drives an Audi.
    22 Jokes around and has a laugh.
    23 Sensitive when you are upset.
    25 Admits it when he looks at other women.
    26 Has a driving licence.
    27 Can swim.
    28 Can ride a bike.
    29 Can change a tyre.

  • Deleted user 11 May 2012 16:24:23
    Ironic that the more boxes the guy ticks, the bigger the chicks rack.

    Super deep and sensitive.
  • localnotail 11 May 2012 16:25:48 23,084 posts
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    MetalDog wrote:
    Why would what they drink matter? Provided they're not necking meths, surely how much they drink is more important?
    It's the ooh-ah Daily Star - why are you expecting this to be in any way intelligent? ;)
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