Becoming a father. Page 2

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  • richarddavies 14 Feb 2012 09:28:02 2,910 posts
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    You'll be fine. All the nappie changing and feeding is hard at first but that's only due to tiredness. The rest of the time it's just pure brilliance. As long as you have somewhere for baby to sleep, some baby grows and bottles the rest you can pick up as you go. And hey, you might be lucky. My son woke us up every 4 hours like clockwork for food as a baby for months but my daughter only did it for 4 weeks then started sleeping right through.

    You might get lucky.

    I wouldn't change a thing about it. I love my children more than life.
  • mrpon 14 Feb 2012 09:28:06 29,570 posts
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    PatrickEwing wrote:
    It's the little things that I love, being asked "Do you want my booger?" whilst trying to stop my 8 month old from rolling over with poo all up his back mid nappie change was a recent personal favourite. Everything else goes out the window. It was only when I picked up my bag this morning and walked towards the front door that the words "oh yes, and happy valentines day" were spoken.
    Advanced 8 month old you have there! ;)

    Give yourself £5 or ½ gig, you're worth it.

  • Lovemoose 14 Feb 2012 09:28:45 999 posts
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    kalel wrote:
    ...It's by far the best thing I've ever done, to the extent of making me feel everything else I've ever done was basically pointless and shit...
    This. So very much this it's untrue.

    Congratulations :)

    twitter: @chockey

  • Deleted user 14 February 2012 09:33:11
    There’s something about the whole “nothing’s the same ever again” thing I always think is a bit misleading. It’s true, but sounds much scarier than the reality.

    I see the birth of my son as the start of part 2 of my life. It’s a very positive change. Like I say, I look back on all the things I used to do as pointless and unfulfilling now.
  • DaM 14 Feb 2012 09:33:58 13,530 posts
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    My only advice.

    Some of you will chose to ignore this advice, but in the end you will come round.

    Blag as much baby stuff as you can from other parents - they grow out of it so quickly/use it so little, most of it will be pristine.

    It is hard to describe, but it is the hardest but most rewarding thing you will ever do (probably!). Not quite sure why, but it is - I expect it's hardwired into you, to ensure your genetic continuation!

    Have fun :)
  • sport 14 Feb 2012 09:35:08 12,811 posts
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    So no one here hates their kids and resents them for taking away their opportunity for a wealthy life full of fast cars and fast women?
  • MrTomFTW Moderator 14 Feb 2012 09:36:33 39,767 posts
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    Yeah my daughter (nearly 2) was up from 4:30am this morning. Screaming and crying. Kicking, scratching, hitting and hair pulling. Good start to Valentines Day.

    Edit: this wasn't a reply to sport. I don't resent her :)

    Edited by DDevil at 09:48:58 14-02-2012

    Follow me on Twitter: @MrTom
    Voted by the community "Best mod" 2011, 2012 and 2013.

  • PatrickEwing 14 Feb 2012 09:36:36 2,150 posts
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    mrpon wrote:
    PatrickEwing wrote:
    It's the little things that I love, being asked "Do you want my booger?" whilst trying to stop my 8 month old from rolling over with poo all up his back mid nappie change was a recent personal favourite. Everything else goes out the window. It was only when I picked up my bag this morning and walked towards the front door that the words "oh yes, and happy valentines day" were spoken.
    Advanced 8 month old you have there! ;)
    Yep, he's been fully converse since 3 months!
    Sorry, meant the 2 1/2 year old, she is quite happy to share her boogers around, although not so much the toys.
  • megastar 14 Feb 2012 09:38:24 17,197 posts
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    Tell you what though, Birds eh? They don't half like to go on about how hard it is to be pregnant eh? also, how we dont have to do owt and they do all they hard work!

    I've got to put up with you whinging, Love - thats hardest job of all!

    ;)
  • mrpon 14 Feb 2012 09:38:47 29,570 posts
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    I've come to work today with a Hello Kitty sticker on my sleeve and a magnetic cow fridge magnet in my pocket.

    Ahhh kids!

    :)

    Give yourself £5 or ½ gig, you're worth it.

  • Kangoo 14 Feb 2012 09:39:25 1,023 posts
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    mrpon wrote:
    If your little blighter doesn't put a smile on your face every single day, you're dead inside :)
    This sums it up perfectly for me, I have an 18 month old daughter and every sleepless night, nappy or otehr negative cannot compare to the joy your child will bring you every single day.
    Also, the first time they say dad will be one of the best moments of your life.

    PSN: Adwab2

  • mrpon 14 Feb 2012 09:40:55 29,570 posts
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    megastar wrote:
    Tell you what though, Birds eh? They don't half like to go on about how hard it is to be pregnant eh? also, how we dont have to do owt and they do all they hard work!

    I've got to put up with you whinging, Love - thats hardest job of all!

    ;)
    Speaking of which, something for tomorrow nights viewing.

    Give yourself £5 or ½ gig, you're worth it.

  • DaM 14 Feb 2012 09:42:38 13,530 posts
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    sport wrote:
    So no one here hates their kids and resents them for taking away their opportunity for a wealthy life full of fast cars and fast women?
    No, which is why I think it is wired into you via evolution - why else would we do it?! I know a couple who have chosen this path, they have nice cars, go away on ace holidays, but I wouldn't swap it for the world.
  • jonsaan 14 Feb 2012 09:43:06 25,440 posts
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    They'll be sick in your mouth, wipe poo in your face, keep you awake all night and so much more. They'll also make Christmas magic again, make you less selfish and wonder how your life could ever have been complete without them.

    FCUTA!

  • sport 14 Feb 2012 09:44:27 12,811 posts
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    DaM wrote:
    sport wrote:
    So no one here hates their kids and resents them for taking away their opportunity for a wealthy life full of fast cars and fast women?
    No, which is why I think it is wired into you via evolution - why else would we do it?! I know a couple who have chosen this path, they have nice cars, go away on ace holidays, but I wouldn't swap it for the world.
    Cmon DaM, they sound much happier than you.
  • megastar 14 Feb 2012 09:45:03 17,197 posts
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    @mrpon

    :( i made bloody pancakes at midnight!!!
  • localnotail 14 Feb 2012 09:52:59 23,093 posts
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    DaM wrote:
    My only advice.
    Ahem


    Blaketown wrote:
    localnotail wrote:
    The hardest part of anticipating parenthood for me is the fact that I can visualise all the downsides but I can't imagine the benefits, because they are completely novel.
    This is the thing. Once the little man/lady is here all those downsides become totally insignificant. They are the worries of the selfish child you will never again be.
    I hope so, I really do. I've been a selfish child for a long time though. It's a hard habit to break.

    It's the waiting that's getting to me, I think. I'm fine with being in the thick of a challenge, but anticipation is a killer for me. Too much time for imagining the worst.

    This thread has been helpful today though, after a bad night, so thank you all.

    Edited by localnotail at 09:59:55 14-02-2012

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • jonsaan 14 Feb 2012 10:01:18 25,440 posts
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    Join Dad's club local.

    FCUTA!

  • Nasty 14 Feb 2012 10:01:32 4,748 posts
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    Best of luck to all dads and mums to be. Some of you need to hurry up and have some more to stop me looking like some kind of freakish professional procreator.

    Edit: another shout for the dads group. Join it now and have a good read. A fair amount of nonsense but some pearls in there worth going over from pram choice to how to stop yourself throwing your child out the window.

    Edited by Nasty at 10:06:01 14-02-2012
  • sport 14 Feb 2012 10:03:41 12,811 posts
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    localnotail wrote:
    This thread has been helpful today though, after a bad night, so thank you all.
    hmmm, maybe I should stop trolling ;-P

    I love my kids more than life itself \o/ - and I've been drafted into LEGO Star Wars co-op by my 3 year old as we need "more money to unlock more characters".
  • localnotail 14 Feb 2012 10:06:12 23,093 posts
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    Ha, sport, it's good to laugh, kicks me out of the gloom. Thanks.

    jonsaan wrote:
    Join Dad's club local.
    I'm not sure I belong there. You lot need to be able to vent without fear of countering or reproach.

    It's hard to talk to my female friends at the moment though, they are all "It's so beautiful and natural" and baby-obsessed, it's like there is some kind of unwritten rule that you are not allowed to be worried about stuff or question your natural ability to be some maternal goddess. They do not accept doubt.

    Edited by localnotail at 10:07:41 14-02-2012

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • Deleted user 14 February 2012 10:07:33
    If you haven't already, you might want to find a more "mumsy" forum. I suspect this is perhaps the one subject where literally not a single other regular can share their experience with you :)
  • JBlokeUK 14 Feb 2012 10:08:57 2,307 posts
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    Lol some great replies. I do actually feel that at 33, I've done just about everything I've wanted to do in life like traveling, so now is the right time for my life to change and actually being pretty well prepared for it.

    Nursery is now done, got plenty of clothes, nappies, soaps, creams etc. I'm trying now also to imagine what he'll like, but there's nothing there.

    Thanks also to those posting links to the dads group :)

    I like it when he's angry.

  • Tonka 14 Feb 2012 10:11:37 21,353 posts
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    @localnotail Join us, JOIN USSSSSS.....

    BAck to the OP
    First two weeks: WF is this it?
    First 5 months: OMG will i EVER sleep again?
    After 12 months: I don't give a shit. 4-5hrs interrupted sleep is more than enough for anyone.

    The entire time
    : This gets better and betetr for each passing day.

    @kalel nailed it with the gentle learning curve. There's a reason why we are king of the heap. All bumps have long since been smoothed over. You can do this.

    I love being a dad (20 months in now) and the amount of joy I get out of it can't be compared to anything. That said, the cold naked fear I can feel some times is way way way above anything I ever experienced too.

    It's Yin Yang

    If you can read this you really need to fiddle with your forum settings.

  • Wobble 14 Feb 2012 10:13:48 1,028 posts
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    We're in week 38 atm, everything is bought and bags are packed... and now we wait. Every day the Mrs gets a little more impatient and moany, I am trying to appreciate the relative quiet before the storm. But I'm very aware that my quiet is at the cost of her being constantly kicked from the inside and the inability to be comfortable for more than 15 minutes in any position.

    Edited by Wobble at 10:15:22 14-02-2012
  • Scurrminator 14 Feb 2012 10:16:23 8,468 posts
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    Good luck to the OP.
    Our little boy is due in 4 weeks and I couldnt be more excited. Put the curtains up in his room last night with little circus animals on - awesome.

    You dare to strike Scurrcules!?

  • Blaketown 14 Feb 2012 10:16:42 4,954 posts
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    localnotail wrote:
    It's hard to talk to my female friends at the moment though, they are all "It's so beautiful and natural" and baby-obsessed, it's like there is some kind of unwritten rule that you are not allowed to be worried about stuff or question your natural ability to be some maternal goddess. They do not accept doubt.
    I may be breaking a Club rule but my wife regularly reads the Dad's Club threads and says it is way more helpful than the likes of Mumsnet for exactly those reasons. The mum forums just aren't honest enough about the negative thoughts and emotions that crop up now and again.

    Brap, brap, old chap.

  • Buztafen 14 Feb 2012 10:16:48 16,531 posts
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    megastar wrote:
    @mrpon

    :( i made bloody pancakes at midnight!!!
    I thought she made you do that even before she was pregnant...:)

    /makes whip noise
  • Scurrminator 14 Feb 2012 10:18:07 8,468 posts
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    The bit I'm more worried about is when they turn 13 and become an insufferable cunt. The bits before that I'm looking forward to!

    You dare to strike Scurrcules!?

  • localnotail 14 Feb 2012 10:18:29 23,093 posts
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    Good luck Wobble, and Scurrminator (and Private Floyd too). Hope it all goes smoothly.

    kalel wrote:
    If you haven't already, you might want to find a more "mumsy" forum. I suspect this is perhaps the one subject where literally not a single other regular can share their experience with you :)
    :) True. Mumsnet both appalls and scares me, Netmums I can see I'll get a lot of use from practically in time as it has good local links. I might have a look around for another one that is smaller maybe.

    Thing is, I don't really want to join another forum, I find it really hard not to want to fully assimilate into communities (no shit), and I get quite obsessive about them - and I need to be doing other things with my time really. Also, I don't really have much in common with most of the women I meet. We don't generally like the same things, and they think I am strange and they don't like my sense of humour. So joining up with a whole group of them and trying to fit in fills me with dread.
    Most of the time, I'm ok, it's just been a strange few days of being very anxious, which I'm sure will pass once I've got it out of my system. I got internally kicked for the first time last week and shit got very real indeed, think that is what started all this introspection. 20 week scan next week will either kill or cure the panic, for a while anyway.

    Edited by localnotail at 10:20:00 14-02-2012

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

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