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Becoming a father.

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  • JBlokeUK 14 Feb 2012 04:58:49 2,312 posts
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    OK, first of all I've tried the search function and can't for the life of me find a similar thread, so apologies if this does end up being a duplicate.

    Well in a little over 2 weeks I'm about to become a first time father to a boy. It's been quite a journey so far getting ready for the arrival, but now I'm starting to become very excited yet very nervous about becoming a first time father.

    People always ask if I'm ready and I'm about as ready as I can be. Yes it's a life changer, that much I expect as well as dealing with sleep deprevation and shitty nappies!

    So to all your dads out there, how did you feel and how does it feel now?

    I like it when he's angry.

  • MrTomFTW Moderator 14 Feb 2012 06:56:20 31,670 posts
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    Tired then, tired now :)

    With a second on the way, I expect to be tired for a lot longer.

    Follow me on Twitter: @MrTom
    Voted by the community "Best mod" 2011 and 2012.

  • morriss 14 Feb 2012 07:02:48 69,623 posts
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    Knackered. Happy.
  • Ginger 14 Feb 2012 07:03:20 6,749 posts
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    morriss wrote:
    Knackered. Happy.
    This

    London open taekwondo champion

  • HermanTheTosser 14 Feb 2012 07:41:20 82 posts
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    @JBlokeUK I'm in a similar position - although my missus is due in September so we're a little way off yet. However, I'm absolutely bricking it - I blame channel 4's One Born Every Minute which the other half insists I watch. It's gruesome and terrifying.

    Good luck & congratulations though.
  • Stickman 14 Feb 2012 07:42:50 28,577 posts
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    Trapped and desperate. Enjoy!

    Quoted

  • mrpon 14 Feb 2012 08:07:23 24,465 posts
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    If your little blighter doesn't put a smile on your face every single day, you're dead inside :)

    Give yourself ½ gig or a £, you're worth it.

  • kalel 14 Feb 2012 08:10:51 77,157 posts
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    Six months into fatherhood myself. It's by far the best thing I've ever done, to the extent of making me feel everything else I've ever done was basically pointless and shit. So congrats, it's great :)

    And the thing nobody tells you is that actually the learning curve is pretty gentle, so far at least. First few weeks is feeding and changing, and pretty much literally nothing else, and they're easy. Everything else adds on gradually over time. Yeah it's tiring but again, it's also incredibly rewarding so you probably won't care too much. Better to be tired from doing something worthwhile than the opposite.

    So again, congrats, and enjoy.
  • Blaketown 14 Feb 2012 08:13:00 4,451 posts
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    As someone said on a podcast I was listening to yesterday, "there are 2 things you never regret; Having a kid and jumping off a rope swing into a lake"

    I'm way happier with my little boy in my life than I was before.

    Brap, brap, old chap.

  • Blaketown 14 Feb 2012 08:18:04 4,451 posts
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    Also, join the Dad's Club Group on here if you haven't already.

    Invaluable resource for advice and support.

    Brap, brap, old chap.

  • Dougs 14 Feb 2012 08:25:32 59,505 posts
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    Ginger wrote:
    morriss wrote:
    Knackered. Happy.
    This
    Indeed. And that's just with one.
  • Fobocop 14 Feb 2012 08:37:04 80 posts
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    Well, I'm typing this on my phone after getting our little girl home for the first (long) night after being born on Wednesday.

    So far, the good - I was surprised at how quickly I absolutely fell in love with her. It's just the most rewarding thing to be with her and the bond is intense!

    The bad, I was unprepared for just how much the birth took out of my wife - it really put her through the wringer and that is hard to watch at the time. Recovery can take a while and its horrible to see the consequences.

    Also - as the other guys have said - tiring, just when you've been through the most draining experience of your life, you have to stay up all night and feed, change etc.

    That's about all I know so far! Best of luck for the birth - stay relaxed (or at least look like you are) and when the baby is here and your wife is in hospital - catch up on sleep!!!

    Ps. How do I join the dads group - I could use some advice/ encouragement!
  • localnotail 14 Feb 2012 08:42:18 21,558 posts
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    Congratulations :)

    @JBlokeUK - I think being nervous is a very natural reaction, shows you are aware of the challenge ahead. All the best with it, to you both. Try to get some rest, you'll need it.

    I'm going through phases about our baby, due in July. Right now I'm in full on panic mode at 19 weeks, all I can see if how much it will change everything and how it could all go wrong and be a huge mistake. Then there is the whole Cronenberg body horror stuff, but that's not really something for this thread, or this forum.

    The hardest part of anticipating parenthood for me is the fact that I can visualise all the downsides but I can't imagine the benefits, because they are completely novel. I'm trying to hold onto the fact that almost everyone I know seems to feel like the people here. Happy. Tired, but happy.

    Edited by localnotail at 09:01:37 14-02-2012

    Playing all the right notes— but not necessarily in the right order.

  • megastar 14 Feb 2012 08:46:51 16,985 posts
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    I've got 4 months to go and I'm just frantically buying everything I see through fear of not being able to afford it when the little-uns here.

    I'm buying shit I don't even need!

    Maybe this is a stress thing related to said imminent arrival?

    Oh my god, what do you actually do???

    /runs off to Spar to buy something
  • Dougs 14 Feb 2012 08:48:40 59,505 posts
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    Dad's Group
  • kalel 14 Feb 2012 08:49:42 77,157 posts
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    I think there are two reactions. Buy everything, or buy nothing. Both are just different ways of dealing with it, one being denial, the other over-preparation. Neither is wrong really.
  • doctor_nick 14 Feb 2012 08:50:40 158 posts
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    What others have said - *everything* changes overnight. Our house went from being an adult space to having baby stuff everywhere by the end of the first week. I was told: You'll cope with the nappies/vomit/chaos, it's the lack of sleep that'll be hard. So true. But so happy too.

    And don't forget to take the odd photo now and then as they grow up :-)

    Edited by doctor_nick at 08:51:05 14-02-2012
  • localnotail 14 Feb 2012 08:57:25 21,558 posts
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    :lol: @star - I haven't bought anything yet apart from a couple of gamer-related babygrows that I really liked. My best friend lost her baby at 18wks recently, so I guess I'm wary of counting this chick before it's at least closer to being hatched. Also it seems that at least 4 people have baby gear and boxes of second-hand stuff for me tucked away, so I'm not sure how much I need to buy. Trying to buy a house between now and then too. Interesting ~140 days ahead.

    Playing all the right notes— but not necessarily in the right order.

  • Trafford 14 Feb 2012 08:58:45 4,158 posts
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    Good luck guys, and you Local :D
    Being a parent is the best thing that's happened to me.
  • pistol 14 Feb 2012 08:59:56 12,886 posts
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    morriss wrote:
    Knackered. Happy.
    Hard work but very rewarding.

    Not everyone is cut out to be a parent, or indeed wants to be one. I always felt I did when the time was right and when mine finally came along it was pretty amazing. I have 2, a 5 and a half year old girl and a 3 and a half year old boy. Both continually make me a smile.

    Edited by pistol at 09:00:20 14-02-2012
  • Blaketown 14 Feb 2012 09:01:40 4,451 posts
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    localnotail wrote:
    The hardest part of anticipating parenthood for me is the fact that I can visualise all the downsides but I can't imagine the benefits, because they are completely novel.
    This is the thing. Once the little man/lady is here all those downsides become totally insignificant. They are the worries of the selfish child you will never again be.

    Brap, brap, old chap.

  • DUFFMAN5 14 Feb 2012 09:04:40 11,683 posts
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    To repeat, hard work but fook is it worth it.

    We have a 5 year old daughter and 3 year old boy (who is autistic)both of them are brilliant beyond belief, but me and the woman, have not had a night off in nearly 6 years...but it is still worth it/

    Good luck ;)

    "Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem! Oh, yeah!"

  • megastar 14 Feb 2012 09:07:26 16,985 posts
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    Local, at first we were very stict about not buying much at all and the stuff we did buy we kept it all at Rach's mums house.

    However after each scan we've had and hearing how "everything is fine" we just started buying more and more and now I've practically finished the nursery (quite how I'm so far ahead of the game I'll never know) she is really itching to get everything in there now. It's quite difficult to slow yourself down once "the ball" gets rolling - at least it is for me!!!

    Also, thank god for "yeah but, can you top this" grandparents!!! :D That pays for most of the stuff!!
  • mrpon 14 Feb 2012 09:10:42 24,465 posts
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    Take a couple of snaps of the growler, as you ain't seeing it for a looong time.

    Give yourself ½ gig or a £, you're worth it.

  • DUFFMAN5 14 Feb 2012 09:16:22 11,683 posts
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    mrpon wrote:
    Take a couple of snaps of the growler, as you ain't seeing it for a looong time.
    Nor would you want to, if you are going to be at the Goal end...

    Make sure you cut the cord, if you get a chance.

    "Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem! Oh, yeah!"

  • Fobocop 14 Feb 2012 09:18:34 80 posts
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    @Dougs - cheers! Bookmarked!
  • Salaman 14 Feb 2012 09:19:57 16,741 posts
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    Fobocop wrote:
    Recovery can take a while and its horrible to see the consequences.
    Rookie mistake, you're supposed to stay up by her side and hold her hand, not wander down below her waste and take a peek.

    Congrats to all the rookie parents and soon to be parents in here.
  • Salaman 14 Feb 2012 09:20:19 16,741 posts
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    Dougs wrote:
    Dad's Group
    For those who missed it the first time.
  • PatrickEwing 14 Feb 2012 09:21:17 1,982 posts
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    It's the little things that I love, being asked "Do you want my booger?" whilst trying to stop my 8 month old from rolling over with poo all up his back mid nappie change was a recent personal favourite. Everything else goes out the window. It was only when I picked up my bag this morning and walked towards the front door that the words "oh yes, and happy valentines day" were spoken.
  • thedaveeyres 14 Feb 2012 09:22:48 8,340 posts
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    You're climbing up the incline of the emotional rollercoaster.... chugga...chugga...chugga...chugga... you can nearly see the top... hold tight because there's nothing that has prepared you for this, and it's for the rest of your life. Please keep arms and legs inside the car at all times. No standing, no spitting.

    Have fun! Wheeeeeeeee.

    D****** ******r

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