The Staggeringly Incompetent Moron thread Page 3

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  • CosmicFuzz 11 Jul 2013 12:59:34 24,360 posts
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    dominalien wrote:
    EndlessSolitude wrote:
    I was experiencing serious problems with a Windows laptop (Dell to be precise); it had been so infected with malware, viruses and whatnot that it was practically non-functional. I sent it to the local computer dealers in the hope that their technical experts could solve the problem.

    They responded that they needed to format the hard drive and asked me whether I had backed up the data. I told them not to bother, and to return the machine. They asked me what I intended to do with it - and I replied, 'install Linux'.

    To cut a long story short: I partitioned the hard drive, installed Ubuntu, and in the subsequent weeks and months, sorted out the Windows partition so that it was usable again, (though there may be some malware remaining). This happened about four years ago, and I still use that computer to this day, (mostly the Ubuntu side).
    I don't get it.
    You're such a moron dominalien!! Just, so staggeringly incompetent!!

    /masks confusion with insults

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  • MrTomFTW Moderator 23 Jul 2013 13:20:40 38,210 posts
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    Since I seem to be using this thread as a way to bitch about our first line team. Here's a incident we've just received with only the identifying info cut out:

    User called to say he is unable to connect via login. User logs on to the machine with his %domain% account and on to Citrix via his %same domain% account. When the user clicks on my computer but he is unable to navigate missing and certain folders are missing.

    User closes the box down and is able to access.

    User also informed that he is unable to open outlook, User clicks on outlook - error message. Got user to work as a work around.

    Could this be investigated why issues
    I know they're Welsh, but COME ON!

    Follow me on Twitter: @MrTom
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  • dominalien 23 Jul 2013 18:14:38 6,860 posts
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    This is beautiful writing. In response, suggest they should submit a script for the sequel of Prometheus.

    PSN: DonOsito

  • TVoJ 23 Jul 2013 20:10:30 1,895 posts
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    @MrTomFTW

    I saw you mention ee earlier and obviously provide tech support for some welsh users.

    Are you per chance referring to the recently rebranded ee call centre in Merthyr?

    Just curious.
  • MrTomFTW Moderator 23 Jul 2013 20:18:31 38,210 posts
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    I didn't mention ee at all did I? I have nothing to do with that company either business or personal. And I don't support Welsh users (well, not specifically) - the Welsh guys are our 1st line support!

    Follow me on Twitter: @MrTom
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  • Oh-Bollox 24 Jul 2013 01:59:46 5,248 posts
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    Typo, I believe MrTomFTW meant 'we'.
  • MrTomFTW Moderator 24 Jul 2013 15:28:34 38,210 posts
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    Today's work of art from our first line team:

    Re-idnatleld syamte Ev valut plug but deos niot seem top work for office 2007 that user has isnstaleld outlook keep disablong

    advsie what would would install foe the add in for office 2007??????

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  • imamazed 24 Jul 2013 15:30:00 5,620 posts
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    Maybe if they added another Questionmark you'd understand?
  • RedSparrows 24 Jul 2013 15:32:15 22,722 posts
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    MrTomFTW wrote:
    Today's work of art from our first line team:

    Re-idnatleld syamte Ev valut plug but deos niot seem top work for office 2007 that user has isnstaleld outlook keep disablong

    advsie what would would install foe the add in for office 2007??????
    Kill them with fire. Jesus wept.
  • Salaman 24 Jul 2013 15:33:50 19,066 posts
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    It's tough out there in the trenches man. YOu try spelling properly under that kind of pressure.
  • MrTomFTW Moderator 24 Jul 2013 15:41:19 38,210 posts
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    I did, I worked first line roles at a couple of different companies for close to 4 years. I made the odd typo (as this thread will attest to :) ) but the users can view these notes - have a bit of professionalism!

    Anyway, I'm actually getting a bit of a reputation as a bit of a hard-ass as I keep reporting this kind of thing back to their team leader. You'd think 2 years later though they might have taken the fucking hint :D

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  • mcmonkeyplc 24 Jul 2013 15:42:04 39,457 posts
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    MrTomFTW wrote:
    Today's work of art from our first line team:

    Re-idnatleld syamte Ev valut plug but deos niot seem top work for office 2007 that user has isnstaleld outlook keep disablong

    advsie what would would install foe the add in for office 2007??????
    Is that seriously supposed to be professional email?!

    Who the fuck do your company hire and I hope they're paid 1p per minute.

    Come and get it cumslingers!

  • Salaman 24 Jul 2013 15:44:26 19,066 posts
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    MrTomFTW wrote:
    but the users can view these notes - have a bit of professionalism!
    Christ, if I read that after I spoke to the support guy it wouldn't instill much confidence about getting the issue sorted.
  • dominalien 24 Jul 2013 15:48:45 6,860 posts
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    Isnstilel, surely.

    Edited by dominalien at 15:51:04 24-07-2013

    PSN: DonOsito

  • Deleted user 24 July 2013 15:49:34
    WHY ISSUES
  • mal 24 Jul 2013 16:47:57 22,554 posts
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    Is it in Welsh?

    Cubby didn't know how to turn off sigs!

  • Rusty_M 24 Jul 2013 20:17:34 4,689 posts
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    Why do you have support guys? If that's what they write, there's really not much hope for issue resolution. Leaving a minor typo or two isn't bad, but that's just insane. I'm pretty sure I frequently write "Unlcoked user's winodws acocunt" or variants thereof, but for gods sake, if they know someone has to read it, they should make sure it clearly states the issue they're experiencing.

    It looks like you'd probably get better info if you just allowed the users to log their own issues.

    The world is going mad. Me? I'm doing fine.

  • jonsaan 24 Jul 2013 20:26:27 25,352 posts
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    I feel like I should feature in this thread...

    FCUTA!

  • boo 24 Jul 2013 21:50:48 11,783 posts
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    We've got a whole other thread about you, elsewhere.

    Just Another Lego Blog

  • MrTomFTW Moderator 24 Jul 2013 21:57:35 38,210 posts
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    And now you all know why I'm always in a bad mood between the hours of 8am - 5pm or so.

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  • dominalien 24 Jul 2013 21:59:54 6,860 posts
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    You need a new job. Have you tried moderating forums?

    PSN: DonOsito

  • MrTomFTW Moderator 24 Jul 2013 22:08:04 38,210 posts
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    I have, my day job is better as I don't receive threats of violence there :)

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  • dominalien 25 Jul 2013 10:48:30 6,860 posts
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    Be glad your job isn't tweaking weapons in online games.

    BTW, did you understand that last message you quoted? I've been looking at it since yesterday (well, not the WHOLE time) and I still haven't figured out what plugin they're talking about.

    PSN: DonOsito

  • Armoured_Bear 25 Jul 2013 11:02:45 11,266 posts
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    MrTomFTW wrote:
    Today's work of art from our first line team:

    Re-idnatleld syamte Ev valut plug but deos niot seem top work for office 2007 that user has isnstaleld outlook keep disablong

    advsie what would would install foe the add in for office 2007??????
    You're making that up, that can't be serious.

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  • X201 25 Jul 2013 11:07:38 15,476 posts
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    It took me a while but I think I can understand what they wrote.
  • MrTomFTW Moderator 25 Jul 2013 11:14:16 38,210 posts
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    Let me translate it for you then, grammar is still fucked but whatever:

    "Re-installed the Symantec Enterprise Vault plug-in but it does not seem to work for Office 2007 that the user has installed. Outlook keeps disabling the plug-in.

    Please advise what we would install for the add-in for Office 2007"

    I mean I have no idea what the problem really was. By the time we called the user they had rebooted the PC and it was working. The EV install file on the first line shared drive is for Office 2007 so fuck knows what he was trying.

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  • dominalien 25 Jul 2013 11:19:00 6,860 posts
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    Ah, Symantec EV. It probably helped you know what software your company uses. :-) "Have you tried turning it off and on again" should be the standard automated response to every query you receive. It really solves a lot of problems.

    PSN: DonOsito

  • LeoliansBro 25 Jul 2013 11:22:54 44,245 posts
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    I had Bulldog advise me to 'go through a power cycle' to get my modem working again. Very pleased at this high level thinking until I twigged it was a 'turn it off and on again' solution and I hadn't spotted it.

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • MrTomFTW Moderator 25 Jul 2013 11:31:50 38,210 posts
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    It's effective at solving a whole host of problems, and is always one of my first steps when fixing issues. I have no idea why our guys don't do it more often. In fact even worse - they lie about rebooting the PC. I've got into the habit of checking the uptime of the PC before even calling the users because of it. I've seen things like 1000+ hours since the last reboot even though the notes from earlier today say they rebooted the PC. That's an email to the team leader.

    Although with my emails I feel I'm shouting into a vacuum. Still, this thread has proved to be quite cathartic to me. And I'll never tell who I work for :)

    Follow me on Twitter: @MrTom
    Voted by the community "Best mod" 2011, 2012 and 2013.

  • Salaman 25 Jul 2013 11:37:16 19,066 posts
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    Re-idnatleld syamte Ev valut plug but deos niot seem top work for office 2007 that user has isnstaleld outlook keep disablong

    advsie what would would install foe the add in for office 2007??????
    So what I've learned today is that Marco didn't join the RAF after all and he's still a booze hound.
    :-)

    Edited by Salaman at 12:26:09 25-07-2013
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