Celebrity Paedogeddon (now feat. other celeb sex offences) Page 108

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  • macmurphy 9 Apr 2014 13:47:32 1,002 posts
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    Small one eyed custard chucker?
    You're guilty as a mother fucker.
  • chopsen 9 Apr 2014 14:38:58 17,252 posts
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    I like the idea that a doctor has been paid as an expert witness to actually measure someone's penis.
  • nickthegun 9 Apr 2014 14:43:29 64,339 posts
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    When you would have done it for free

    SWISH!
  • mrpon 9 Apr 2014 14:45:06 30,598 posts
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    Tiny todger? Bunkbed lodger.
  • MrTomFTW Moderator 9 Apr 2014 14:45:51 42,424 posts
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    That one woman must have had tiny hands. Jeremy Beadle style.
  • MrTomFTW Moderator 9 Apr 2014 14:46:14 42,424 posts
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    Now I've just thought of Jeremy Beadle giving a handy to Max Clifford. Nice one brain.
  • BeardedGamerUK 9 Apr 2014 14:46:53 1,973 posts
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    @nickthegun I believe that's the job of everybody's favourite freelance 'video games journalist'!
  • Load_2.0 9 Apr 2014 14:47:27 20,987 posts
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    Oh we have done dock.

    Edited by Load_2.0 at 14:48:01 09-04-2014
  • BeardedGamerUK 9 Apr 2014 14:47:50 1,973 posts
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    @MrTomFTW A bit like King Kong climbing the Empire State Building :D
  • nickthegun 9 Apr 2014 17:28:43 64,339 posts
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    Its pretty much exactly the opposite. The accuser is saying he showed her his micro-penis and he is saying he has an average one, so he cant have.
  • Physically_Insane 9 Apr 2014 17:28:45 10,350 posts
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    So, a micro penis. How small are we talking here?
  • nickthegun 9 Apr 2014 17:33:54 64,339 posts
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    Its really a shame he hasnt got an amusing shaped birthmark tucked away somewhere to give it the full 70s sex comedy feel.
  • mrpon 9 Apr 2014 18:03:29 30,598 posts
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    But a cock varies in length dependant on "conditions" surely?
  • macmurphy 9 Apr 2014 18:13:06 1,002 posts
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    I think a micro penis is under 2.5 inches when tumescent.

    I actually googled it earlier to see what a 'normal range' is. Apparently 4.5 inches is the bottom end of this. Again with a lob on. It mentioned how most men think their penises are smaller than they are, ie theirs is average but having seen a bit of Frankie Vaughn they think it's well below average.

    My point being his penis could be in normal range but he could still have been terrified how small it was.

    Also he could be a grower not a shower. So he makes girls feel sorry for him by putting a bit of ice on it and looking vulnerable, then once he's lulled them into a false sense of security he smashes them in the boat race with a reasonably sized lob on. Could explain why the bird that gave him a nosh thought it was quite big.

    I prefer a quick line and offering to buy them a drink, but I guess we all have to do what we have to do.
  • FWB 9 Apr 2014 18:29:08 48,556 posts
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    He's a cunt. Should be sent to a federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.
  • nickthegun 9 Apr 2014 18:31:08 64,339 posts
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    Is that your new catchphrase?
  • FWB 9 Apr 2014 18:33:43 48,556 posts
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    Yep. And I'm not afraid to direct it at anyone. ANYONE.

    Edited by FWB at 18:34:03 09-04-2014
  • mrpon 9 Apr 2014 18:44:57 30,598 posts
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    @macmurphy I bow down to your superior knob knowledge.
  • Load_2.0 9 Apr 2014 19:53:17 20,987 posts
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    macmurphy wrote:
    So he makes girls feel sorry for him by putting a bit of ice on it and looking vulnerable, then once he's lulled them into a false sense of security he smashes them in the boat race with a reasonably sized lob on.
    Ahahaha :D
  • PES_Fanboy 26 Apr 2014 05:06:57 24,484 posts
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    No verdict yet as the jury are still deciding whether or not Clifford should be tried as a human being.

    What's the latest on his Schrodinger's Cock, which is simultaneously tiny and large?
  • Dirtbox 26 Apr 2014 05:55:44 81,900 posts
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    It died when someone unzipped his fly.
  • PearOfAnguish 28 Apr 2014 14:13:38 7,550 posts
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    BBC reporter is saying on Twitter that Max Clifford has been found guilty of eight counts of indecent assault.
  • nickthegun 28 Apr 2014 14:16:56 64,339 posts
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    When I saw this bumped, I was sure it would be by someone questioning how Cyril Smith could possibly catch anyone to molest them.
  • Load_2.0 28 Apr 2014 14:19:49 20,987 posts
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    What?

    I thought this was going to be another pointless charade.

    Well let this be a lesson to all those who call people up talking about their wang in an Italian accent.
  • nickthegun 28 Apr 2014 14:22:35 64,339 posts
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    The grief he is going to get for being a pin-dicked sex pest is just astronomical.
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