Celebrity Paedogeddon (now feat. other celeb sex offences) Page 106

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  • DaM 5 Mar 2014 11:56:21 13,326 posts
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    twelveways wrote:
    What if I abused myself and filmed it?
    I think that would be fine. Maybe start a new thread for it?
  • mrpon 5 Mar 2014 12:34:17 29,183 posts
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    DaM wrote:
    twelveways wrote:
    What if I abused myself and filmed it?
    I think that would be fine. Maybe start a new thread for it?
    http://www.eurogamer.net/forum/thread/94384

    Give yourself 5 or gig, you're worth it.

  • Youthist 14 Mar 2014 14:10:10 10,027 posts
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    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-26574292

    Innocent or not, it is a real shame to see Clifford getting some of his own medicine, is it not.

    Think of how stupid the average person is, and realise half of them are stupider than that

  • Deckard1 14 Mar 2014 14:13:48 28,684 posts
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    I actually lolled at the tiny penis part
  • Youthist 14 Mar 2014 14:21:33 10,027 posts
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    Defence barrister Richard Horwell QC told the woman that she could not have seen Mr Clifford's penis because she described it as "tiny".
    "His is an average-sized penis," he said. "That shows you cannot have seen it."

    The witness replied that she had seen it and that "I did notice that it was small".

    Quality stuff.

    Edited by Youthist at 14:24:07 14-03-2014

    Think of how stupid the average person is, and realise half of them are stupider than that

  • askew 14 Mar 2014 14:30:38 12,413 posts
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    gLOL - did he pop it out for his lawyer?
  • imamazed 14 Mar 2014 14:32:54 5,784 posts
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    askew wrote:
    gLOL - did he pop it out for his lawyer?
    "Yeh to be fair, that's tiny; I wouldn't worry about a guilty verdict mate"
  • Deckard1 14 Mar 2014 14:33:01 28,684 posts
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    It reads like something out of the Viz! The fake Italian accent bit is brilliant as well.
  • TheSaint 14 Mar 2014 14:34:04 14,602 posts
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    During another phone call, the man talked about Mr Clifford's penis and asked her to do the same, which she declined.
    If he gets off on hearing people talk about his tiny cock then this whole witness testimony must be a major deposit in the wank bank.
  • nickthegun 14 Mar 2014 14:42:27 60,420 posts
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    Its-a me, Maxio! Lookatta tiny goomba!

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    My man gives real loving that's why I call him Killer
    He's not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, he's a thriller

  • Load_2.0 14 Mar 2014 14:47:42 19,440 posts
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    Surely the Jury must decide whether or not he has a tiny cock?
  • imamazed 14 Mar 2014 14:48:40 5,784 posts
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    Also, we've only established that he's got a small tallywhacker when flacid. He could be a grower.
  • nickthegun 14 Mar 2014 14:50:54 60,420 posts
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    Well... theres only one way to find out.

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    My man gives real loving that's why I call him Killer
    He's not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, he's a thriller

  • mrpon 14 Mar 2014 14:52:33 29,183 posts
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    Surely you warm it up first before slapping it out?

    Give yourself 5 or gig, you're worth it.

  • askew 14 Mar 2014 14:53:13 12,413 posts
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    Puts a different spin on the instruction "All rise"
  • Deckard1 14 Mar 2014 14:57:35 28,684 posts
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    mrpon wrote:
    Surely you warm it up first before slapping it out?
    Yeah you'd at least give it a quick yank and stretching wring before its going on public display. Sometimes when its sleeping it can burrow its way quite deep into the pelvis.
  • Moot_Point 14 Mar 2014 15:04:25 4,328 posts
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    Load_2.0 wrote:
    Surely the Jury must decide whether or not he has a tiny cock?
    The Jury must see all the evidence, so yes.

    Edited by Moot_Point at 15:04:59 14-03-2014

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    mowgli wrote: I thought the 1 married the .2 and founded Islam?

  • chopsen 14 Mar 2014 15:17:19 16,125 posts
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    That is really brave defence.

    "I can't possibly have done it, m'lud, as I have a large penis."
  • nickthegun 14 Mar 2014 15:18:44 60,420 posts
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    In your medical opinion, what would you class as a 'tiny' penis?

    An inch on the soft?

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    My man gives real loving that's why I call him Killer
    He's not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, he's a thriller

  • Youthist 14 Mar 2014 15:25:14 10,027 posts
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    Can you imagine the BBC team who were putting the report together. There is no way they wouldn't have been pissing themselves.

    Think of how stupid the average person is, and realise half of them are stupider than that

  • imamazed 14 Mar 2014 15:29:45 5,784 posts
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    nickthegun wrote:
    In your medical opinion, what would you class as a 'tiny' penis?

    An inch on the soft?
    Yeh I'd say that's about right.
  • CosmicFuzz 14 Mar 2014 15:47:30 24,825 posts
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    I heard he'd been in the pool before taking it out.

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  • PearOfAnguish 14 Mar 2014 16:01:16 7,367 posts
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    That is the best thing I've read all week. Max Clifford faking an Italian accent to get a woman to talk about his tiny penis? Brilliant.
  • CosmicFuzz 14 Mar 2014 16:12:26 24,825 posts
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    What a technique though. Do girls tend to say something like, "Let's see if we can't make it a bit bigger?" or something?

    The italian accent is great. I'm going to start calling the "I couldn't have done it because I have a big penis" the 'Max Clifford' defence.

    Looking for a new video game podcast? Try ours! (And give us a rating on iTunes!) :)

  • The-Bodybuilder 15 Mar 2014 07:03:57 14,277 posts
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    Claiming innocence based on not having a small willy takes some... balls.
  • Load_2.0 15 Mar 2014 08:24:59 19,440 posts
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    PearOfAnguish wrote:
    That is the best thing I've read all week. Max Clifford faking an Italian accent to get a woman to talk about his tiny penis? Brilliant.
    Oh come on, like we all haven't been there!
  • nickthegun 15 Mar 2014 09:32:06 60,420 posts
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    Average dick, you must acquit

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    My man gives real loving that's why I call him Killer
    He's not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, he's a thriller

  • Deckard1 15 Mar 2014 10:10:43 28,684 posts
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    Minuscule prick, you must convict
  • mcmothercruncher 15 Mar 2014 10:15:02 7,204 posts
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    nickthegun wrote:
    In your medical opinion, what would you class as a 'tiny' penis?

    An inch on the soft?
    Please tell me that's average? :(
  • FWB 15 Mar 2014 10:20:26 44,833 posts
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    Enormous slong, the prosecution is wrong.
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