The lowest review score ever ???

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  • silver-jon 25 Nov 2004 13:04:27 1,518 posts
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    One of the fun activities every given month is to look for the review of the worst game, and rejoice at the feedback from the poor, wretched soul that had to waste hours of their life reviewing a piece of junk. Because it's their job. Kind of makes up for knowing they get their hands on the best games before the rest of us, right ?

    Just opened PC Gamer (ink still moist) to page 66 and the review of Leisure Suit Larry is a beauty.

    The first sentence : "There is no excuse."
    The last sentences : This is pure offence. Just don't".

    Score : 3%

    Come on, folks. Line up and confirm the worst scores ever given to a game.


    PS: 'Ink still moist' from the fresh-off-the-press angle. Not from any of my bodily fluids !!!
  • Freylis 25 Nov 2004 13:07:41 995 posts
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    I remember a review a few months ago in Terrorizer for some crazy German electro-metal band. It went something like:

    "Jesus Christ my ears!! 3 seconds in and... AAARRRGGGGHHHHH! Oh my God, track 2 can't be that bad... Holy Christ what is this noise?!?! ARGGGGGH!! -10000/10"

    That'd be a pretty low review score... :)

    Edit: I realise this isn't a game, but its the lowest score I've ever seen.

    Edited by Freylis at 13:08:31 25-11-2004
  • phAge 25 Nov 2004 13:09:21 24,349 posts
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    Freylis wrote:
    ARGGGGGH!! -10000/10"

    That'd be a pretty low review score... :)
    Edited by Freylis at 13:08:31 25-11-2004

    Well - actually its 1000 times better than Half-life 2... ;)
  • urizen 25 Nov 2004 13:11:58 2,158 posts
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    You can dig up reviews of gruesome games over at metacritic...the lowest for Ps2, overall - including at least one review of 0% - was for Gravity Games Bike: Street. Vert. Dirt.

    Heard of it? Me neither.
  • Nasty 25 Nov 2004 13:12:46 4,741 posts
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    I remember PC Gamer gave the first Big Brother game 1% and that was only because they liked the colour of blue that was on the CD Case.

    Edited by Nasty at 13:12:56 25-11-2004
  • mal 25 Nov 2004 13:15:11 22,462 posts
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    I think Superman 64 got a negative score in one of the mags.

    Cubby didn't know how to turn off sigs!

  • urizen 25 Nov 2004 13:29:51 2,158 posts
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    Nasty wrote:
    I remember PC Gamer gave the first Big Brother game 1% and that was only because they liked the colour of blue that was on the CD Case.

    Edited by Nasty at 13:12:56 25-11-2004


    THERE'S A GAME OF BIG BROTHER?!

    /apologises for shouting

    /kills self
  • pjmaybe 25 Nov 2004 13:32:22 70,676 posts
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    urizen wrote:
    Nasty wrote:
    I remember PC Gamer gave the first Big Brother game 1% and that was only because they liked the colour of blue that was on the CD Case.

    Edited by Nasty at 13:12:56 25-11-2004


    THERE'S A GAME OF BIG BROTHER?!

    /apologises for shouting

    /kills self

    Tis true. Bought it for my sister for a joke chrimbo pressie and she actually LIKED it. So there you go, there are people like that out there.

    Lowest review score I seem to remember seeing was in a Sinclair mag for the Speccy game "Supergran" - Basically a -1 with about ten 0s after it...


    Ahh Tynesoft, where are you now!

    Peej
  • Juninho 25 Nov 2004 13:33:52 1,825 posts
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    pjmaybe wrote:
    urizen wrote:
    Nasty wrote:
    I remember PC Gamer gave the first Big Brother game 1% and that was only because they liked the colour of blue that was on the CD Case.

    Edited by Nasty at 13:12:56 25-11-2004


    THERE'S A GAME OF BIG BROTHER?!

    /apologises for shouting

    /kills self

    Tis true. Bought it for my sister for a joke chrimbo pressie and she actually LIKED it. So there you go, there are people like that out there.

    Lowest review score I seem to remember seeing was in a Sinclair mag for the Speccy game "Supergran" - Basically a -1 with about ten 0s after it...


    Ahh Tynesoft, where are you now!

    Peej

    I saw Supergran in panto years ago. She would walk off stage and then some young girl dressed as Supergran would backflip across the stage pretending to be her.

    Never felt as ripped off in my life.

  • Salaman 25 Nov 2004 13:34:26 18,959 posts
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    urizen wrote:
    Nasty wrote:
    I remember PC Gamer gave the first Big Brother game 1% and that was only because they liked the colour of blue that was on the CD Case.

    Edited by Nasty at 13:12:56 25-11-2004


    THERE'S A GAME OF BIG BROTHER?!

    /apologises for shouting

    /kills self

    He said "the first Biog Brother game".

    So there may be more.
    Or it was just a game linked to the first BB series.
    There's still hope.
  • urizen 25 Nov 2004 13:36:19 2,158 posts
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    /speechless
  • Decoded 25 Nov 2004 13:38:09 4,426 posts
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    What was that truck racing game that Gamespot tore to shreds? I remember reading the review and thinking it was a wind-up.

    EDIT: Found it.

    Edited by Decoded at 13:41:29 25-11-2004
  • phAge 25 Nov 2004 13:40:58 24,349 posts
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    Decoded wrote:
    What was that truck racing game that Gamespot tore to shreds? I remember reading the review and thinking it was a wind-up.

    Yeah - remember that one too - pretty funny review. Sounded like it might possibly be the most broken game ever - no clipping AT ALL, the other trucks didnt move AT ALL, etc. etc. Look it up.
  • pjmaybe 25 Nov 2004 13:42:55 70,676 posts
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    Juninho wrote:
    pjmaybe wrote:
    urizen wrote:
    Nasty wrote:
    I remember PC Gamer gave the first Big Brother game 1% and that was only because they liked the colour of blue that was on the CD Case.

    Edited by Nasty at 13:12:56 25-11-2004


    THERE'S A GAME OF BIG BROTHER?!

    /apologises for shouting

    /kills self

    Tis true. Bought it for my sister for a joke chrimbo pressie and she actually LIKED it. So there you go, there are people like that out there.

    Lowest review score I seem to remember seeing was in a Sinclair mag for the Speccy game "Supergran" - Basically a -1 with about ten 0s after it...


    Ahh Tynesoft, where are you now!

    Peej

    I saw Supergran in panto years ago. She would walk off stage and then some young girl dressed as Supergran would backflip across the stage pretending to be her.

    Never felt as ripped off in my life.


    Heh...my brother won a competition to meet Gudrun Ure and have lunch with her. She didn't turn up and the poor heartbroken little sod had to sit there listening to her PR lady waffle on for an hour. He was not best pleased...

    Peej
  • O-Fox 25 Nov 2004 13:43:00 597 posts
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    Decoded: http://www.gamespot.com/pc/driving/bigrigsotrr/index.html?q=Big+Rigs

    Big Rigs - Over the Road Racing

    If you do a game search on gamespot and search for 'worst game ever', this is the only one that comes up. The video review is fun.
    [edit: ugh, first post and I screw up the link]

    Edited by O-Fox at 13:43:55 25-11-2004
  • pjmaybe 25 Nov 2004 13:44:02 70,676 posts
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    That's class.

    Anyone care to do a reader review?

    Peej
  • kalel 25 Nov 2004 13:44:36 87,006 posts
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    mal wrote:
    I think Superman 64 got a negative score in one of the mags.

    I bought it!

    Never met the other guy that did though.
  • silver-jon 25 Nov 2004 13:44:48 1,518 posts
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    The only one I remember that might have been worse than LSL (at least in PC Gamer) was "Plumbers Don't Wear Ties".

    It's just taken me half an hour to remember the title.

    As someone who loves a good rant (I nearly started a thread yesterday raging about the world we live in where two parents can ignore the basic needs of their children and live in unimaginable filth but still have shiny consumable goods like DVD players - probably nicked) I particularly appreciate the second sentence of Leisure Suit Larry review :
    "There is no reason good enough for something as foul, hateful and pathetic as this unmitigated, spiteful, venemous excrement to have ever gotten past a wretchedly stupid idea being suggested by whichever bigoted insult to humankind first vomited it in the directio nof a publisher".

    So - not as good as Halo 2 then ! \o/
  • Decoded 25 Nov 2004 13:45:03 4,426 posts
    Registered 11 years ago
    O-Fox wrote:
    Big Rigs - Over the Road Racing

    If you do a game search on gamespot and search for 'worst game ever', this is the only one that comes up. The video review is fun.

    Heh, that's exactly what I did and lo! I edited my post to include the link :D
  • Juninho 25 Nov 2004 13:46:38 1,825 posts
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    pjmaybe wrote:
    Juninho wrote:
    pjmaybe wrote:
    urizen wrote:
    Nasty wrote:
    I remember PC Gamer gave the first Big Brother game 1% and that was only because they liked the colour of blue that was on the CD Case.

    Edited by Nasty at 13:12:56 25-11-2004


    THERE'S A GAME OF BIG BROTHER?!

    /apologises for shouting

    /kills self

    Tis true. Bought it for my sister for a joke chrimbo pressie and she actually LIKED it. So there you go, there are people like that out there.

    Lowest review score I seem to remember seeing was in a Sinclair mag for the Speccy game "Supergran" - Basically a -1 with about ten 0s after it...


    Ahh Tynesoft, where are you now!

    Peej

    I saw Supergran in panto years ago. She would walk off stage and then some young girl dressed as Supergran would backflip across the stage pretending to be her.

    Never felt as ripped off in my life.


    Heh...my brother won a competition to meet Gudrun Ure and have lunch with her. She didn't turn up and the poor heartbroken little sod had to sit there listening to her PR lady waffle on for an hour. He was not best pleased...

    Peej

    what a slag
  • Nasty 25 Nov 2004 13:47:27 4,741 posts
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    Salaman wrote:
    He said "the first Biog Brother game".

    So there may be more.
    Or it was just a game linked to the first BB series.
    There's still hope.

    /kills hope with a big hammer

    BB2: The Fuckwits Return

    Edited by Nasty at 13:51:01 25-11-2004
  • Menace 25 Nov 2004 14:29:33 5,743 posts
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    - I've searched my files but couldn't find it..

    I had a review of a game I worked on at Funcom, called DragonHeart Fire & Steel.. The reviewer wanted the head of "the guy responsible" on a plate.. and gave the game a score of something like 10%..

    The review was funny to read, and sadly entirely justified as the game was a pile of poo.. - even more sadly because the entire dev team, inexperienced as we were, really tried their best against all odds.. for starters, I believe the only reason we got the contract at all was that Acclaim only gave us 6 months to create the game in.., which at that time was still 1/3 of a normal game development time (averagely)..

    I remember we made some really nice 3D models of dragons and fantastic textures were made with veins drawn in transparent wings. Incredibly nice detail work was lost when the dragons were first rendered and then cropped in size, and then the animations were raped by the coders, with whom we had little or no talks with.. :/

    In the end, I blame management and the moneymen for such a dire project that never should have been, or at least should have gotten the time it deserved, because the setting was perfect for a game..

    oops, I'm ranting again.. - as you were! =)

    www.bigbitegames.com/soccer

  • yegon 25 Nov 2004 14:34:48 5,218 posts
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    I remember Mean Machines reviewing Road Fighter on the NES 12 or 13 years ago - 9% iirc. Hilarious review.
  • ERG1008 25 Nov 2004 14:36:55 656 posts
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    I remember Microsoft Soccer getting a right slating in (I think) PC Gamer.
    It got about 10%.
  • andrewfromdoncaster 25 Nov 2004 14:37:59 1,687 posts
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    ERG1008 wrote:
    I remember Microsoft Soccer getting a right slating in (I think) PC Gamer.
    It got about 10%.

    I got free with my first PC!
  • ERG1008 25 Nov 2004 14:39:40 656 posts
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    andrewfromdoncaster wrote:
    ERG1008 wrote:
    I remember Microsoft Soccer getting a right slating in (I think) PC Gamer.
    It got about 10%.

    I got free with my first PC!

    And was it utter shite?
  • binky Moderator 25 Nov 2004 14:44:12 9,579 posts
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    I think I remember AKIRA getting 13% in CVG or something like that.
  • ERG1008 25 Nov 2004 14:45:18 656 posts
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    No it was Microsoft.
    Gamespot have an equally bad review of it.

    Edited by ERG1008 at 14:45:52 25-11-2004
  • Foregone-Reality 25 Nov 2004 14:47:08 2,218 posts
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    Lol. That Video Review is hilarious.
  • andrewfromdoncaster 25 Nov 2004 14:48:49 1,687 posts
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    ERG1008 wrote:
    andrewfromdoncaster wrote:
    ERG1008 wrote:
    I remember Microsoft Soccer getting a right slating in (I think) PC Gamer.
    It got about 10%.

    I got free with my first PC!

    And was it utter shite?

    Absolute dogshit my friend. Scoring was near impossible; though it was possible to actually score from the half way line by bending the ball backwards and forwards. We are on about the game was was around '97 time yeh?
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