Filthy smelling work colleague Page 4

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  • jonsaan 3 Jun 2011 16:11:47 25,450 posts
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    I worked with a chap called Mike Oxstynx.

    FCUTA!

  • billythekid 3 Jun 2011 16:13:11 11,403 posts
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    iHAZaCHEEZ3burger wrote:
    I think that Starmagic would probably be the smelliest forumite, there's something about him that makes me thing he's a smelly cunt.
    Nah, this dude
  • Deleted user 3 June 2011 16:14:40
    Does he smell though? Of an ox? Or does he have an ox that stinks?

    If not that's a pretty shit story dude.

  • L_Franko Moderator 3 Jun 2011 16:14:56 9,697 posts
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    billythekid wrote:
    iHAZaCHEEZ3burger wrote:
    I think that Starmagic would probably be the smelliest forumite, there's something about him that makes me thing he's a smelly cunt.
    Nah, this dude

    Must admit, I was expecting a classic EG joke there.
  • billythekid 3 Jun 2011 16:16:03 11,403 posts
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    L_Franko wrote:
    billythekid wrote:
    iHAZaCHEEZ3burger wrote:
    I think that Starmagic would probably be the smelliest forumite, there's something about him that makes me thing he's a smelly cunt.
    Nah, this dude

    Must admit, I was expecting a classic EG joke there.

    Yeah, I'm gonna change the link soon.
  • Deleted user 3 June 2011 16:17:22
    Yeah, you let us down there billy.
  • jablonski 7 Jun 2011 13:12:16 4,974 posts
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    I think it's bad enough when it is just BO, but when it gets into the realms of tramp smell (if smells could be high-pitched, tramps smells are exactly that), then something has to be said.
  • Salaman 7 Jun 2011 16:16:42 19,627 posts
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    I bet the smelly guy in Vice's office has been putting his know in the butter as well.
    Wait didnt' the butter perp read EG. Maybe things will sort themselves out.
  • Buztafen 20 Nov 2012 13:38:34 16,532 posts
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    The guy I'm sat next to smells like a thousand assholes. Ive put up with it for a few weeks now but it's got to the point where enough is enough. He's from Ireland and has just moved into a new flat so initially I put it down to him having no washing machine or needing to get his water sorted, or him not having money to buy some lynx, but after weeks the smell persists...it's that nose hair searing BO smell that seems to travel at lightspeed and head straight to the nostrils.

    When I've unexpectedly got a proper nose full of it, it's actually made me gip, brought tears to my eyes and made me blurt out a little whimper which I've had to cover up by doing a little cough. It's like being hit in the face by a truck full of 12 month old unwashed vagina's. Does he not know? Can he not smell his own putrid demonic stench? Is he allergic to pit spray or something? Whats worse is i'm sat in a corner which means the only way out is to walk past this living anus whenever i need the loo, or go or a coffee, or need to help someone with something.

    What the fuck should i do?

    Oh god he's wafting his fucking shirt now...:(

    /vomits
  • Vortex808 20 Nov 2012 13:48:42 7,596 posts
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    :D

    There's a guy at our work like that too. Thankfully nowhere near me.

    You can actually work out if he's been down the corridor before you. Yeesh.

    He wears a jumper over his shirt all the time too.

    He's also a professor. Not in hygiene products sadly
  • Deleted user 20 November 2012 13:51:07
    heh,

    "You get bath men, Shower men; I'm a cologne man" - Homer Simpson
  • MrTomFTW Moderator 20 Nov 2012 13:52:57 39,819 posts
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    One of the handymen on site stinks like that. To be fair he's a busy guy but he constantly stinks, to the point where I can trace his movements throughout the building. He'd never be able to sneak up on someone, that's for sure.

    Follow me on Twitter: @MrTom
    Voted by the community "Best mod" 2011, 2012 and 2013.

  • Mola_Ram 20 Nov 2012 13:53:34 8,341 posts
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    Would it be possible to just tell them that they smell?

    Or leave little hints:

    HEY, I JUST GOT THIS AWESOME NEW DEODORANT. WANNA TRY IT?

    Or, you could get them covered in dogshit somehow. They'll smell that. Then, when they wash off the poo, they will also wash off the BO.
  • Buztafen 20 Nov 2012 13:54:05 16,532 posts
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    Vortex808 wrote:
    :D

    There's a guy at our work like that too. Thankfully nowhere near me.

    You can actually work out if he's been down the corridor before you. Yeesh.

    He wears a jumper over his shirt all the time too.

    He's also a professor. Not in hygiene products sadly

    That's sounds familiar. It's a echo from the past...a dirty, stinky, shit bomb left behind to warn others.

    This guy wears a t-shirt underneath his shirt. I don't think he washes that t-shirt...or takes it off...EVER!
  • Fab4 20 Nov 2012 13:54:50 6,216 posts
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    I have a colleague with a similar problem. I'm confused though because his wife is a smokin-hot Russian lovely. She must have lost the sense of smell.
  • Gambit1977 20 Nov 2012 13:55:53 10,384 posts
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    I used to have a teacher called Mr Musk, and he stunk! Had really bad wet armpits on all his shirts too!

    There's a woman at work who disappears to the bog about 4 times a day and the smell follows her back in here! The other girls use the gents haha!
  • Deleted user 20 November 2012 13:56:49
    He probably bought her off one of these bride websites
  • catterz 20 Nov 2012 13:58:54 8,763 posts
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    I've worked for 2 years sat pretty much next to a guy who's odour can only be described as a stale, mouldy, unwashed chip-fryer. I really don't know how he smells so bad, or why he hasn't noticed, or why, despite several complaints from multiple employees has he not had a verbal warning about it.

    Sometimes when he's on holiday I have to use his computer to access some code he's done, and I have to fashion finger protectors out of loo roll to be able to touch his greasy keyboard, mouse and desk, since his eating habits (multiple packets of crispy without rinsing or wiping his fingers before continuing to work) are just as bad as his stench. I also have to warn people not to sit in his chair. The state of it makes me gag.

    I'd probably pay someone 20 to sniff his seat.

    Edited by catterz at 14:01:44 20-11-2012

    Still stalking this place, old-school style (UID: 1053)

  • Buztafen 20 Nov 2012 13:59:51 16,532 posts
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    The thing is this guys obviously really intelligent. Most of the people here are, fuck knows why they allowed me in. But he obviously has no commonsense or any kind of sense...or senses.

    You'd think that at some point when his brain's going over the latest equation or forecasting model he'd think "Well peel my potatoes to be sure!...I smell like gangrene! " :(

    Edited by Buztafen at 14:01:55 20-11-2012
  • CannonAnBall 20 Nov 2012 14:01:51 751 posts
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    I once had a work colleague who had bad breath. It smelt like he'd been chewing on turds and it was that bad that if you walked into the office, it stank the room out.

    My boss at the time had enough of it, so he called the bloke in, sat him down and said, "I've called you in here because your breath stinks. I want to help you, not only for your sake but for ours as well because at the moment it smells like you've been eating shit. Here's a toothbrush, toothpaste, mouthwash and a leaflet I picked up from my dentist."

    The bloke wasn't bothered to be fair.
  • Gambit1977 20 Nov 2012 14:03:26 10,384 posts
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    There was a lad at the Eurogamer Expo 3 years back, probably posts on here, and in the queue behind him I physically wretched. If you post on here, you fucking stink!
  • Ziz0u 20 Nov 2012 14:05:06 8,648 posts
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    :(
  • Mola_Ram 20 Nov 2012 14:06:11 8,341 posts
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    It would be hilarious if everyone posting on here was actually working in the same building and complaining about how all the other posters stink. A madcap coincidence.
  • Gambit1977 20 Nov 2012 14:07:11 10,384 posts
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    :lol: considering I emit armani from my very pores, I know it's not me ;)
  • Buztafen 20 Nov 2012 14:08:36 16,532 posts
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    Gambit1977 wrote:
    :lol: considering I emit armani from my very pores, I know it's not me ;)
    Are you from the 80's? :D
  • Gambit1977 20 Nov 2012 14:09:57 10,384 posts
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    :lol: Armani, not Calvin Klein Obsession, or Paco Rabanne!
  • monkehhh 20 Nov 2012 14:10:54 3,530 posts
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    Quite a few of the old blokes here have shitty breath, they need introducing to floss.
  • Buztafen 20 Nov 2012 14:11:02 16,532 posts
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    Old Spice or GTFO!...or BRUT.
  • Gambit1977 20 Nov 2012 14:15:20 10,384 posts
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    Aramis or Hi-Karate or I don't wanna know!
  • lexxx 20 Nov 2012 14:15:44 166 posts
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    A friend told me that at her company someone gave deodorant to an offender via an (anonymous) secret santa last Xmas.

    However, despite opening it in front of everyone, he apparently still didn't take the hint.
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