Filthy smelling work colleague Page 3

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  • jonsaan 3 Jun 2011 15:21:28 25,440 posts
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    Good name. Horp cheese by Biggy Farms.

    FCUTA!

  • SYS64738 3 Jun 2011 15:21:36 1,714 posts
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    It depends on the individual I reckon... had this fat colleague at work who sweated so much (especially during work nights out where he felt the urge to dance like a crazy person) that his shirt was literally 100% wet of sweat, he knew though so always brought a second/third pair to change half way through the evening.

    I've been told once I stank of sweat but to my defence that was after a long haul flight from the Far East where I previously ran out of clean clothes (very humid weather that I wasn't used to and prepared for at the time)... luckily am more travel savvy these days though, would rather buy a new shirt & deo at the airport or something. I really didn't realise that I smelled though until my mate back in Europe told me. Paranoid about body odours ever since.

    PSN: SYS64738_UK

  • DJCopa 3 Jun 2011 15:21:59 1,058 posts
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    jonsaan wrote:
    Take it to HR. They will have to deal with it.

    This - Bottle it and then unleash the hellish stench in their office!
  • L_Franko Moderator 3 Jun 2011 15:25:04 9,697 posts
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    jonsaan wrote:
    Good name. Horp cheese by Biggy Farms.

    That almost sounds like a believable product. I sure as fuck would not be trying though!
  • ScoutTech 3 Jun 2011 15:28:19 2,425 posts
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    There was a guy in one office I used to work at & everyone would take the stairs if he was in the lift. Huge guy.

    Then there was the father/son duo that would come into the game shop I worked in. First I knew was everyone behind the counter suddenly disappeared on urgent errands. Then it started creeping around me like a vicious fog. It was innocuous at first, you just knew something was wrong but couldn't put your finger on it. Then it hit with full force and they were standing there waiting to be served. There was nothing you could do. Breathe through your mouth and there was a faint taste sensation that you knew would end up with a massive spewfest, through your nose would result in retching and eyes watering. I got them served & then though I would die as they started having a debate about where to go next right there in front of the counter. The only technique I could implement was to hold my breathe, taking sneaky refills by dropping something or going to the stock drawers to get something. I could see the rest of the staff peering through the staff door window, half laughing their heads off at the fate of the newbie, the other half looking worried that I couldn't hold on much longer, or that they would have to attempt to revive me and the stench may be festering in my now dead lungs, ready to pounce. Eventually they left and the store rejoiced. I had passed the test, barely with my life. They came back another couple of times while I worked there, either together or separately & it never changed, or halved by being apart.

    It was good fun to see the last person behind the desk, eyes wide with fear, trying to hold back the screams of anguish and desperate sobs, unable to leave as someone had to be there at all times but knowing THEY were about, lurking, ready to pounce at any moment.
  • Deleted user 3 June 2011 15:30:34
    Epic story.
  • Razz 3 Jun 2011 15:31:23 61,656 posts
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    bigshot316 wrote:
    Wow, I have the exact same issue with 2 people in my office!

    One is a 48 year old man who rides his bike to and from work every day (8 miles).
    He doesn't bring a change of clothes or deodrant and he doesn't brush his teeth (he has cream cheese teeth).

    The worst thing about him is the coat he wears every single day. It has spores growing on the outside, and I cannot even describe the stagnant stench that pours out of it into the atmosphere- it's like.... It's a whole new smell!

    I was in the toilet the other day having a piss, and the smell had filtered from the cloakroom to the toilets and I was wretching and then puked my guts up in the bowl.

    Then there's this new guy who is fat with long hair and a mongey face.
    He just smells like my mates old first bedsit- a mixture of super stale sweat, unwashed hair, BO and cum.
    ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH! That's fucking rank! DDDDDDD:

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  • BinaryBob101 3 Jun 2011 15:33:38 24,447 posts
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    How can you creep like a vicious frog?

    www.TheGrumpyVaper.com

  • jonsaan 3 Jun 2011 15:34:13 25,440 posts
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    I'm always quite vocal if someone smells in public. Unless it's a tramp or something. What the hell is that disgusting smell? usually does the trick.

    FCUTA!

  • L_Franko Moderator 3 Jun 2011 15:35:49 9,697 posts
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    I just don't understand how people can let themselves get that grotty. In my experience if I don't have a shower for one day then I just start feeling uncomfortable and sweaty. How can anyone put up with feeling like that?
  • Stickman 3 Jun 2011 15:37:19 29,664 posts
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    *sniff* "You smell that?" *sniff sniff* "Smells like...you. Huh."

    THIS SPACE FOR RENT

  • jonsaan 3 Jun 2011 15:37:54 25,440 posts
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    Because they are lazy. Or perhaps they have no reason to try.

    It's easier if you wear a towelling tracksuit.

    FCUTA!

  • Gambit1977 3 Jun 2011 15:38:16 10,384 posts
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    L_Franko wrote:
    jonsaan wrote:
    Good name. Horp cheese by Biggy Farms.
    That almost sounds like a believable product. I sure as fuck would not be trying though!
    More like a bi-product.
  • jonsaan 3 Jun 2011 15:39:20 25,440 posts
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    You should always base your hygiene on the thought of an impromptu blow job or muff dive.

    FCUTA!

  • Gambit1977 3 Jun 2011 15:40:21 10,384 posts
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    jonsaan wrote:
    You should always base your hygiene on the thought of an impromptu blow job or muff dive.
    At last, some sense!
  • MrTomFTW Moderator 3 Jun 2011 15:40:47 39,782 posts
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    Urgh. What smells like bigfoot's dick?

    Follow me on Twitter: @MrTom
    Voted by the community "Best mod" 2011, 2012 and 2013.

  • L_Franko Moderator 3 Jun 2011 15:42:04 9,697 posts
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    jonsaan wrote:
    You should always base your hygiene on the thought of an impromptu blow job or muff dive.

    Honestly, I do have this very thought quite often :)
  • L_Franko Moderator 3 Jun 2011 15:46:50 9,697 posts
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    I'd like to add that I have never found myself in that situation but the day you don't bother will be the day it happens. Then the woman has got to put up with what might seem like licking salt off a shaved skunk.
  • Deleted user 3 June 2011 15:49:12
    /voms

    you guys are rancid!
  • jonsaan 3 Jun 2011 15:53:00 25,440 posts
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    Can you tell I'm feeling a bit better? :D

    FCUTA!

  • thedaveeyres 3 Jun 2011 15:57:34 11,596 posts
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    I've never given a blow job in my life, but I doubt the recipient would be overly bothered about my sweaty pits... I've got a tongue like an adder.

    XBLA: Hamster Trippin
    Steam: thedaveeyres
    PSN: HamsterTrippin

  • jonsaan 3 Jun 2011 15:59:38 25,440 posts
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    No.:D

    I meant you might get an impromptu one you nutter!

    FCUTA!

  • jonsaan 3 Jun 2011 16:00:06 25,440 posts
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    I know that you know that I know you were joking.

    FCUTA!

  • thedaveeyres 3 Jun 2011 16:01:11 11,596 posts
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    jonsaan wrote:
    I know that you know that I know you were joking.

    I know this. :)

    XBLA: Hamster Trippin
    Steam: thedaveeyres
    PSN: HamsterTrippin

  • jonsaan 3 Jun 2011 16:01:39 25,440 posts
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    reminded me of this

    FCUTA!

  • Deleted user 3 June 2011 16:02:42
    I think that Starmagic would probably be the smelliest forumite, there's something about him that makes me thing he's a smelly cunt.
  • jonsaan 3 Jun 2011 16:03:38 25,440 posts
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    Nah. That lord fellow. Forget the name. Scary looking dude.

    FCUTA!

  • Deleted user 3 June 2011 16:06:03
    Smelly cunt, Smelly cunt what are they feeding you?
    Smelly cunt, smelly cunt it's not your fault...
    They won't take you to the stockbroker.
    You're obviously not their favorite co-worker
    You may not be a bed of roses,
    And you're no friend to those with noses.
    I promise you when we're done
    all the wold will smell as one
    Smelly cunt, smelly cunt what are they feeding you?
    Smelly cunt, smelly cunt it's not your fault!
  • Dolly 3 Jun 2011 16:06:44 3,258 posts
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    There's one in every place I've worked in. If you don't know who it could be in yours, then it's YOU.
  • Deleted user 3 June 2011 16:10:31
    Dolly strikes me as the smelly variety too.
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