Filthy smelling work colleague Page 5

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  • monkehhh 20 Nov 2012 14:18:52 3,291 posts
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    I think some people have actually gone off or are rotting or something though. We had a bloke who emitted a noxious smell that annoyed the 50 people in the same room as him - the day he left on early retirement was a good one.
  • Mr_Sleep 20 Nov 2012 14:27:26 16,921 posts
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    monkehhh wrote:
    I think some people have actually gone off or are rotting or something though. We had a bloke who emitted a noxious smell that annoyed the 50 people in the same room as him - the day he left on early retirement was a good one.
    That is the smell of human decay. It'll happen to you too.

    You are a factory of sadness.

  • glaeken 20 Nov 2012 15:11:11 11,133 posts
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    Buztafen wrote:
    The guy I'm sat next to smells like a thousand assholes. Ive put up with it for a few weeks now but it's got to the point where enough is enough. He's from Ireland and has just moved into a new flat so initially I put it down to him having no washing machine or needing to get his water sorted, or him not having money to buy some lynx, but after weeks the smell persists...it's that nose hair searing BO smell that seems to travel at lightspeed and head straight to the nostrils.

    When I've unexpectedly got a proper nose full of it, it's actually made me gip, brought tears to my eyes and made me blurt out a little whimper which I've had to cover up by doing a little cough. It's like being hit in the face by a truck full of 12 month old unwashed vagina's. Does he not know? Can he not smell his own putrid demonic stench? Is he allergic to pit spray or something? Whats worse is i'm sat in a corner which means the only way out is to walk past this living anus whenever i need the loo, or go or a coffee, or need to help someone with something.

    What the fuck should i do?

    Oh god he's wafting his fucking shirt now...:(

    /vomits
    I had that situation in an office once and someone bought a can of deodorant and put in on the offenders desk. They stuck a postit on the can saying please use me. That really got the message across.

    Of course this tactic only works in a fairly big office where they are not really going to know who did it. If there are just the two of you working together it might make things awkward.
  • robthehermit 20 Nov 2012 15:25:34 4,023 posts
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    I think its a law that every office has to have a foul smelling worker. If your office doesn't have one, then its probably you.

    GT: robthehermit

    Velim esset mundus iustus futuis procul et mori.

  • localnotail 20 Nov 2012 15:49:05 23,093 posts
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    Often, the person themselves isn't actually a soap dodger, but neglects the changing / washing of clothes. I work with someone who is habitually overspraying toxic lynx mist a couple of times a day, but only needs to do this because he wears the same shirt every day.

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • CosmicFuzz 20 Nov 2012 15:51:36 23,747 posts
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    Christ daily shirt change people, daily!

    Is it only guys that smell or do women honk too? I'm worried that we don't have a stinky person at the office and so it may be me...

    Episode 5 of our gaming podcast Open Source is a Gamescom Special. Check it out here!

  • Gambit1977 20 Nov 2012 15:52:56 9,583 posts
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    I used to work with a woman who when she walked over you could smell her fanny...
  • glaeken 20 Nov 2012 15:54:36 11,133 posts
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    That was nice of her.
  • Gambit1977 20 Nov 2012 15:56:11 9,583 posts
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    Yeah! I didn't even have to ask :lol:
  • Cappy 20 Nov 2012 16:45:04 11,885 posts
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    Well this thread has brought back some rather unpleasant memories and made me feel rather ill.

    I'd never considered taking the problem to a manager or HR, I've ended up making a scene and calling the culprits foul, reeking bastards or something along those lines and directing them to stay away from me.

    In hindsight a manager or HR is the way to go. Though my approach is faster.
  • DUFFMAN5 20 Nov 2012 18:10:00 14,529 posts
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    Gambit1977 wrote:
    I used to work with a woman who when she walked over you could smell her fanny...
    I'm going out on a limb here, but I'm assuming it was not a nice smell...

    "Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem! Oh, yeah!"

  • Jono62 20 Nov 2012 18:15:13 14,021 posts
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    DUFFMAN5 wrote:
    Gambit1977 wrote:
    I used to work with a woman who when she walked over you could smell her fanny...
    I'm going out on a limb here, but I'm assuming it was not a nice smell...
    Yeah, rotting prawns smell foul.
  • Gambit1977 20 Nov 2012 18:16:48 9,583 posts
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    DUFFMAN5 wrote:
    Gambit1977 wrote:
    I used to work with a woman who when she walked over you could smell her fanny...
    I'm going out on a limb here, but I'm assuming it was not a nice smell...
    Not unless sweaty pubes and seafood float your boat
  • Lamb 20 Nov 2012 18:22:50 473 posts
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    Wasn't there a Right Guard Sports stick from Sir Charles Barkley's RPG that could do the trick. :D
  • DUFFMAN5 20 Nov 2012 18:26:37 14,529 posts
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    Gambit1977 wrote:
    DUFFMAN5 wrote:
    Gambit1977 wrote:
    I used to work with a woman who when she walked over you could smell her fanny...
    I'm going out on a limb here, but I'm assuming it was not a nice smell...
    Not unless sweaty pubes and seafood float your boat
    But Beavers can smell lovely.

    It is strange that what ever your belief system re where we come form, that the maker made our sex bits smell so foul when unclean...not mine of course.

    "Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem! Oh, yeah!"

  • Jono62 20 Nov 2012 18:44:40 14,021 posts
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    Yours smells like Duff beer, I'm guessing?
  • jamievilla 20 Nov 2012 18:52:52 510 posts
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    Why the fuck did I read this thread while eating my dinner?

  • Vortex808 20 Nov 2012 19:05:45 7,049 posts
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    If your dinner smells like these people, put it in the bin. It'll only make you ill.
  • localnotail 20 Nov 2012 19:15:45 23,093 posts
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    Most things smell better when they are fresh.

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • Bremenacht 20 Nov 2012 20:59:09 17,687 posts
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    oh bollcoks to it

    Edited by Bremenacht at 21:01:30 20-11-2012
  • Load_2.0 20 Nov 2012 21:12:19 19,104 posts
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    localnotail wrote:
    Most things smell better when they are fresh.
    That is why I stick to under 12's.
  • Gambit1977 20 Nov 2012 21:14:45 9,583 posts
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    Load_2.0 wrote:
    localnotail wrote:
    Most things smell better when they are fresh.
    That is why I stick to under 12's.
    I hope you mean shoes!
  • ibenam 20 Nov 2012 21:21:46 1,377 posts
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    Gambit1977 wrote:
    Load_2.0 wrote:
    localnotail wrote:
    Most things smell better when they are fresh.
    That is why I stick to under 12's.
    I hope you mean shoes!
    He means inches, duh.
  • jonsaan 20 Nov 2012 21:22:44 25,335 posts
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    :D

    FCUTA!

  • jonsaan 20 Nov 2012 21:26:27 25,335 posts
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    I've said this before, probably in this very thread, but here we go again.

    Time and time again, I've seen situations like this. It does not matter how many remarks you make, how many hints you leave, or conversations about baths you have. Unless someone sits this person down and explains that there is a problem that is upsetting other people, THEY WILL NEVER COMPREHEND THAT THEY ARE A VILE, CHEESY HELMED STINKER.

    Edited by jonsaan at 21:26:59 20-11-2012

    FCUTA!

  • Rens11 20 Jan 2013 05:22:00 1,391 posts
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    Yeah we had a bloke at my old work that stank my manager left deodorants in the toilet which he ignored he had to eventually have a word with him but that did fuck all. Work in healthcare now and have seen some pretty gruesome things but nothing compares to the smell of dirty people, fair enough if your unable to clean yourself but so many people are just lazy I mean if your dick cheese is spreadable, you're clearly not having enough showers

    Dont kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, hed eat you and everyone you care about!

  • KennyPowers 20 Jan 2013 10:58:45 94 posts
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    If you frequent Gamestation, Cash Converters or Job Centres, they tend to attract people with funky odors.

    Worst when you are on a bus, and some smelly old person sits next to you. And they keep letting out a constant stream of bum gas.

    Maybe if you smear deoderant on your top lip, everything will smell fresh all day?
  • Frogofdoom 20 Jan 2013 11:39:40 879 posts
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    CEX is the place in Southampton that attracts the smellies. By the way if any of you making comments are smokers, let it be known that you fucking stink as well, and no you cant smell it yourself but everyone else can ;)
  • Rens11 20 Jan 2013 13:52:30 1,391 posts
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    @Frogofdoom

    Can you remember the little cex near the bargate? That proper stunk in there! What I hate is when your in public some fucker stealth farts near you then leaves you with stench

    Dont kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, hed eat you and everyone you care about!

  • Frogofdoom 20 Jan 2013 15:35:45 879 posts
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    @Rens11 I actually would never go in there as it smelt that bad. I must admit i do draw a certain amount of joy from stealth farts as long as it is me launching them.
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