I have farted

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  • Razz 9 Nov 2002 21:45:15 60,786 posts
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    If anyone would like to talk about funny flatuence, this is your chance! Please don't be shy!

    I was inspired by a recent spectacular event whereby I have just sneezed, burped and farted simultaniously!! And I'm still in one piece!

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  • Whizzo 9 Nov 2002 21:58:54 43,038 posts
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    Razz wrote:
    And I'm still in one piece!
    Presumably you've shrunk though...

    This space left intentionally blank.

  • Razz 9 Nov 2002 22:13:48 60,786 posts
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    Well... I do feel a little strange.

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  • Tyronne 9 Nov 2002 22:26:05 1,043 posts
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    hopefully you did`nt follow through on everything.....
  • Deleted user 9 November 2002 23:17:11
    Razz, you joker!!! This isn't the first time you did this, remember last week when you jumped kicked liam, then coughed, farted and cursed at the same time? o_0 Dude... your ill.
  • UncleLou Moderator 9 Nov 2002 23:20:18 35,433 posts
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    Guys guys guys...you bored or something? ;-)
  • Deleted user 9 November 2002 23:28:54
    yes... intensly. I'm at me chickeboo's place, waiting for her to finish in the shower. Since I am not allowed to use Razz's PC no more I had to find myself one so's I can post here. Anyway my funny fart involved a quiet prayer meeting and a fat priest... I needed go into details... :/
  • Razz 11 Nov 2002 11:45:46 60,786 posts
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    "hopefully you did`nt follow through on everything....."

    No... no I didn't follow through!

    d[-_-]b: Haha! And mate, Liam deserved what he got, you know why.

    Edited by Razz at 11:47:38 11-11-2002

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  • Errol 11 Nov 2002 11:46:35 12,457 posts
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    This thread is exceedingly strange.

    Edited by Errol at 11:46:53 11-11-2002
  • Errol 5 Dec 2002 16:29:19 12,457 posts
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    But most gratifying, all the same.
  • pjmaybe 5 Dec 2002 16:33:48 70,676 posts
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    I've farted, I've farted...
    I've made a trouser cough.
    I've whistled in my Y-Fronts
    I've just peeled one off...
    I've let one go in lifts and queues...
    in phone boxes, and trains...
    And when I stink, the people think.
    And blame it on the drains...

    I've been eating cabbages,
    prunes and pears and beans...
    Drinking Dandelion and burdock...
    and you know what that means...!

    (it's amazing how some songs stick with you for YEARS isn't it!)

    Peej
  • Errol 5 Dec 2002 16:38:21 12,457 posts
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    Oxford, eh ?
  • Razz 5 Dec 2002 19:28:33 60,786 posts
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    Hahaha ROFLOL!!

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  • Fozzie_bear 5 Dec 2002 21:20:50 15,489 posts
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    I've always been proud of my farting abilities... but I bow down to a true master..... (and squeak a sneaky one out on the way)

    Support the Mowgli Dirty Protest!

  • Razz 6 Dec 2002 09:34:35 60,786 posts
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    ROFLMAO! :D

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  • Errol 6 Dec 2002 09:35:52 12,457 posts
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    otto wrote:
    The scene: the Bodleian Library, Oxford. The craggily handsome classics student has set his books up on a desk opposite the fragrant and gorgeous third year from Wadham. Silence reigns. The handsome classics student leans forward to offer the gorgeous third year a polo. A squeaky one slips out, shattering the hallowed silence of those great halls of learning. The gorgeous third year doesn't want a polo any more.

    Do you have her name/address ?
  • pjmaybe 6 Dec 2002 09:36:48 70,676 posts
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    Oi, hands off, she's in MY local! (the bod's about 20 yards up the road from me)

    Peej
  • Mr_Sleep 6 Dec 2002 09:51:08 16,854 posts
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    Erm, am I perhaps one of the only gentlemen to walk this planet who doesn't have flatulence issues, my gastric system is tip top and only after curry/kebab/green beans does it raise to a discernable level...I guess I'm a freak!

    You are a factory of sadness.

  • pjmaybe 6 Dec 2002 09:56:13 70,676 posts
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    "You in the New Bod peej?"

    Nerp, in that horrible eyesore of a big tall building just up the road.

    Peej
  • Razz 6 Dec 2002 10:06:37 60,786 posts
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    Bodleian Library??? o_O

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  • Razz 14 Aug 2003 15:25:21 60,786 posts
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    I've farted once more! In the company meeting!! :D
    One of those slow whistler farts! THE SHAME THE SHAME!!!!
    I. Could. Have DIED!

    Anyone else?

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  • FWB 14 Aug 2003 15:27:24 43,881 posts
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    I have been waiting for a news update for ages and finally it arrives. Yes. My life is complete. I can die now.
  • shane 14 Aug 2003 15:29:27 863 posts
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    FWB wrote:
    I have been waiting for a news update for ages and finally it arrives. Yes. My life is complete. I can die now.
    omfg that post was sooooooooooooo lame.
  • FWB 14 Aug 2003 15:30:47 43,881 posts
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    Why, thank-you.

    /Bows
  • shane 14 Aug 2003 15:33:27 863 posts
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    omfg u are sooo
    /falls asleep after 5 and a half hours of reading the forum and nothing else, goodnight
  • mouse Moderator 14 Aug 2003 15:35:53 10,312 posts
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    otto wrote:
    Polo = a mint with a hole in it. Also an essential seduction instrument for students in libraries.

    You want more Razz? Here's more. How about the time I let rip so loudly in my sleep that I woke myself up, sat bolt upright in bed and yelled "what the f*ck was that??" Guaranteed to reduce the missus to hysterics every time she remembers it.
    Thanks otto, I just laughed so much I hurt myself. Thanks a BUNCH :(
  • thrawn 14 Aug 2003 15:48:04 891 posts
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    Did one last night when I got in from the cinema. It started when I was putting the key in the front door, ended after I'd got in, put the keys on the table and walked into the bathroom. Had to check I hadn't followed through. It was a bit damp.
  • BartonFink 14 Aug 2003 16:15:09 34,853 posts
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    thrawn wrote:
    Did one last night when I got in from the cinema. It started when I was putting the key in the front door, ended after I'd got in, put the keys on the table and walked into the bathroom. Had to check I hadn't followed through. It was a bit damp.
    Touching cloth, hates that! So the little brown turtle popped his head out and went back in again then :) Have been know (famous for it) to let one or two rippers in my time. Some Mac Lads lyrics come to mind 'I think a rat crawled up his arsehole and died'.
  • thrawn 14 Aug 2003 16:32:44 891 posts
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    The funniest one I've ever done was in the car on the way back from the cinema once. My ex, her brother and a mate were in the car. I was driving. I did a silent one and I could tell from the feel of it that it was going to be a stinker. A few seconds later my ex's brother blurted out "Who was that?" and I just started laughing. My ex, while winding her window down asked if it was me, to which my mate replied "He's the only one laughing".

    May have been a you had to be there moment, but I was pissing myself laughing at the time. Still can't think about it now without having to hold back laughter either.
  • Razz 14 Aug 2003 16:38:34 60,786 posts
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    thrawn wrote:
    The funniest one I've ever done was in the car on the way back from the cinema once. My ex, her brother and a mate were in the car. I was driving. I did a silent one and I could tell from the feel of it that it was going to be a stinker. A few seconds later my ex's brother blurted out "Who was that?" and I just started laughing. My ex, while winding her window down asked if it was me, to which my mate replied "He's the only one laughing".

    May have been a you had to be there moment, but I was pissing myself laughing at the time. Still can't think about it now without having to hold back laughter either.

    o_O
    You obviusly don't fart much. Which in itself is a good thing.

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