The Eurogamer Expert Index Page 4

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  • coastal 5 Sep 2012 19:20:19 5,377 posts
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    @monkehhh I hope you're a good FOSS4G'er then. You do dev or anal?

    bf3: sergeant_shaftoe

  • mal 5 Sep 2012 19:22:00 22,332 posts
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    I've been around long enough to realise I'm not an expert in anything. On any given topic there's more I don't know about it than do.

    Cubby didn't know how to turn off sigs!

  • Pinky_Floyd 5 Sep 2012 19:32:01 7,363 posts
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    I am a expert peeping tom.  Can advise on good hiding spots, what to wear and also good but discreet binoculars.  Never been caught.  If your wifes undies are missing off the washing line, chances are that I am wearing them. 
  • monkehhh 5 Sep 2012 19:43:07 3,267 posts
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    @coastal I mainly deal wrestle with ESRI stuff all day (work's support agreement with them means one of them comes to our office once a month and I ask him questions he can't answer). I got my current promotion with the idea I'd become 'the' expert at work for this sort of thing - currently doing a masters in GIS that they're paying for, and then hopefully I'll escape to something either awesome or very well-paid (or both).
  • LeoliansBro 5 Sep 2012 19:50:38 43,170 posts
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    I am a true Renaissance man.

    Both a master and a patron of the arts, I have forged a successful career both as a financial expert and a banking wunderkind, setting the benchmark for my many admirers. Adept in many sports although a slave to none, I have read many books, sampled many foods and drinks, travelled to many exotic locations under many foreign skies and loved many women. I am comfortable in any company, an effortless wit and conversationalist and a constant delight at dinner parties and social gatherings. I am prepared in any situation, able to adapt and improvise at a moment's notice. My knowledge is both wide ranging and deep and my powers of recall astonishing in their detail and accuracy. I am more flexible than willow and tougher than tempered steel.

    I am the very epitome of the masculine, from which all others derive as dminished and imperfect shadows in a flickering fire.

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • localnotail 5 Sep 2012 19:53:27 23,093 posts
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    LeoliansBro wrote:
    I am the very epitome of the masculine, from which all others derive as dminished and imperfect shadows in a flickering fire.
    So close.

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • LeoliansBro 5 Sep 2012 20:04:22 43,170 posts
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    Drat.

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • Pinky_Floyd 5 Sep 2012 20:07:57 7,363 posts
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    Floiled.
  • LeoliansBro 5 Sep 2012 20:09:59 43,170 posts
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    Double parked 'both' in the second sentence and all.

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • elstoof 5 Sep 2012 20:11:41 6,598 posts
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    I'd wager even the typo was a carefully constructed weakness for perception by minds less able, thus rendering the man more approachable and less likely to alienate those underneath because the man realises that for one to be elevated, one must be raised upon the shoulders of others.
  • LeoliansBro 5 Sep 2012 20:16:11 43,170 posts
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    But that would be artifice and expose me as a true misinterpreter of Castiglione, less Sir Philip Sidney and more Oscar Wilde.

    Bet I've spelled 'Philip' incorrectly and all.

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • localnotail 5 Sep 2012 20:21:33 23,093 posts
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    @elstoof A man, not "the" man. /GoT

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • coastal 5 Sep 2012 20:22:27 5,377 posts
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    @LeoliansBro, i'll still nick that for my about.me if that's alright. apart from the well fay ending

    bf3: sergeant_shaftoe

  • elstoof 5 Sep 2012 20:23:53 6,598 posts
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    Artifice shmartifice, the result is what matters. History can be rewritten.
  • spamdangled 5 Sep 2012 21:22:02 27,269 posts
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    Marvel comics, cookery.

    3DS: 4055-2781-2855 Xbox: spamdangled PSN: dark_morgan Wii U: Spamdangle Steam: spamdangled

  • neilka 5 Sep 2012 21:26:44 15,630 posts
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    Roller disco and murder.
  • MikeP 5 Sep 2012 21:57:02 1,765 posts
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    I'm pretty good when it comes to bicycles. I have certificates and everything.

    Also, not bad at home brew beer.
  • SolidSCB 5 Sep 2012 23:04:08 6,387 posts
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    Abducting children from holiday camps

    Removing all traces of bodily fluid and evidence from the scene of a rape

    Rape
  • localnotail 5 Sep 2012 23:58:52 23,093 posts
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    Rape and child murder jokes, there is no actual intent behind them, right? They are boundary pushing humour, adopting the identity of the psychopath for shock value, right?

    So, technically, the more inappropriate the teller, the greater impact of the "joke". Right? So as a middle-aged mother of a baby girl, it must be hilarious if I tell one, right?

    What do rape jokes and Madeleine McCann have in common?

    They'll never get old.

    Right.

    Now, can we get some new material, please?

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • RedSparrows 6 Sep 2012 00:00:47 21,991 posts
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    History.

    ALL OF IT.
  • SolidSCB 6 Sep 2012 00:09:40 6,387 posts
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    That joke is just not on local, you're the middle-aged mother of a baby girl. You should know better by now.
  • puddleduck 6 Sep 2012 00:12:28 1,853 posts
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    @localnotail

    Irony overload... why do we need new material if it'll never get old?

    I don't like to joke about rape, but then people are always telling me I take my work too seriously.
  • spamdangled 6 Sep 2012 00:13:16 27,269 posts
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    :D

    3DS: 4055-2781-2855 Xbox: spamdangled PSN: dark_morgan Wii U: Spamdangle Steam: spamdangled

  • neilka 6 Sep 2012 00:38:35 15,630 posts
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    As Oscar Wilde once said, "If you're tired of rape jokes then you're tired of life".
  • spamdangled 6 Sep 2012 02:08:29 27,269 posts
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    I got tired of rape once, but then I just mixed it up with a little torture and then I never looked back.

    3DS: 4055-2781-2855 Xbox: spamdangled PSN: dark_morgan Wii U: Spamdangle Steam: spamdangled

  • puddleduck 6 Sep 2012 02:20:21 1,853 posts
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    I'd say a problem with a lot of rape jokes, is that most of them have been done to buggery.
  • localnotail 6 Sep 2012 03:36:13 23,093 posts
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    Et tu, Mongo?

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • MrTomFTW Moderator 6 Sep 2012 06:18:45 37,302 posts
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    darkmorgado wrote:
    I got tired of rape once, but then I just mixed it up with a little torture and then I never looked back.
    I think this will go a long way to ensure you never get to complain about homosexual jokes ever again :-(

    Follow me on Twitter: @MrTom
    Voted by the community "Best mod" 2011, 2012 and 2013.

  • manuel_garcia 6 Sep 2012 08:21:29 4,079 posts
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    I can sort of do bread and bread-related items like pizza. They are edible and occasionally produce grumbles of happiness from those that consume them.
  • Salaman 6 Sep 2012 09:45:50 18,854 posts
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    Pinky_Floyd wrote:
    I am a expert peeping tom.  Can advise on good hiding spots, what to wear and also good but discreet binoculars.  Never been caught.  If your wifes undies are missing off the washing line, chances are that I am wearing them. 
    No Night Goggles? You're not much of an expert!
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