The all-new Premier League thread Page 3440

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  • roz123 19 Apr 2013 15:09:48 7,112 posts
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    Just funny that his first tweet is "Liverpool are a joke of a football club".
    Its probably a fake
  • tincanrocket 19 Apr 2013 15:15:14 2,901 posts
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    I assume his 1000s of followers are a recent addition in classic rubbernecking tradition?

    Twitter - helping the human race stay classy
  • Deckard1 19 Apr 2013 15:20:54 27,083 posts
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    Say what you like about his views on exploding people, you can't fault him when it comes to Suarez.
  • graysonavich 19 Apr 2013 15:35:09 7,309 posts
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    Milner 27? o_O

    Feels like yesterday since he was the youngest scorer in the Premiership :/
  • Shikasama 19 Apr 2013 16:38:35 6,603 posts
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    This is one of the funniest things I've read for a little while. User submitted section of F365:

    Piss
    Good morning.

    Friday being a slow news day in the world of the F365 Mailbox, I thought I'd share the response to a good friend's post-work, payday session 'accident'. The individual concerned was unfortunate enough to wake up the following morning in a state of some anxiety and no little saturation. Fortunately, his many colleagues are always willing to lend their heartfelt condolences:

    Sorry mate, I've just realised I forgot to reply to your epic text message yesterday morning. Fortunately, I've been able to canvas the opinion of some of our pundits here at Sky Sports in lieu of a timely response.

    JAMIE REDKNAPP: "It's some TOP, TOP pissing from a TOP, TOP, player. 'TRIFFIC."

    KAMMY: "It's UNBELIEVABLE JEFF! HE'S PISSED..OH WAIT... YES! IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S PISSED HISSELF! HANG ON! HANG ON! YES! HE'S PISSED HIMSELF! IT LOOKS LIKE IT WAS LOUIS PRICE!"

    MERSE: "OH WHAT A PISS! What a piss, Jeff, incredible. He's literally just Gypsy's Kissed all over his Callard and Bowsers!"

    SOUNESS: (angry) "OF COURSE HE'S PISSED. Why wouldn't he piss? [does chopping motion with hand on desk for emphasis] I fail to see why he wouldn't have pissed in that situation."

    ANDY TOWNSEND: "What he's done there is, Clive, he's actually had a piss. What's happened is he's gone out into town, then he's drank a few pints of lager, then what's happened is he's fallen asleep on his sofa, and what's he's actually done then is actually have a piss, but what's happened is he's gone for a piss but he's not actually gone for a piss, what he's done is, Clive, he's gone for a piss on the sofa."

    ALAN GREEN: (dripping sarcasm) "Well, what can I say? All I can say is folks, I'm happy he's at least pissed himself because at least it'll keep him warm, I'm telling you it's absolutely freezing in here folks, this place looks like it was built in Communist Russia, there's dirty dishes everywhere, fag ash all over the carpet, and now the only bit of excitement we've had all night is Louis Price's success in pissing himself, which is more than I can say for Robbie Savage."

    ALAN SHEARER: (unyielding monotone) "Well, (sighs) he'll have a look at this tonight Gary and you have to say he'll be disappointed with that."

    ROY KEANE: (incredulous that he's sharing a studio with the dregs of humanity) "He deserves to have pissed himself. I'm surprised he hasn't sh*t himself. There were plenty of moments in my career when the yellow mist came down and you just have to get on with it. There's no use crying, he did what he did. When I was playing we used to piss ourselves all the time. He actually deserves to have pissed himself. You drink lager, of course you piss. There are consequences. He deserves to have sh*t himself, frankly. To be fair, he deserved to have choked to death on his own vomit."

    It's fair to say his head has recovered more quickly than will his reputation.

    Regards,
    Hurricane Fly (still dry), NFFC
  • nickthegun 19 Apr 2013 16:41:25 58,782 posts
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    I dont get it

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    He totally called it

  • Deckard1 19 Apr 2013 16:45:34 27,083 posts
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    He pissed himself
  • nickthegun 19 Apr 2013 16:51:44 58,782 posts
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    Oh. Right.

    ..
    ..
    ..
    ..

    I dont get it..

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    He totally called it

  • Deckard1 19 Apr 2013 16:53:46 27,083 posts
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    Its like, all the football punits saying he pissed himself. And they're saying it a pundity type of way. He pissed himself.
  • Shikasama 19 Apr 2013 16:56:03 6,603 posts
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    I like the Andy Townsend one the best.

    I fucking hate Andy Townsend
  • mikew1985 19 Apr 2013 17:00:24 12,585 posts
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    I was waiting for the funny the whole way down, it never came, yet I kept reading.
  • The-Bodybuilder 19 Apr 2013 17:46:23 14,054 posts
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    Half way through, I sensed that joke was going the way of the TV series "Lost"; a very shit ending.

    Edited by The-Bodybuilder at 17:46:43 19-04-2013
  • Shikasama 19 Apr 2013 17:52:54 6,603 posts
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    Mardy bastards
  • SolidSCB 19 Apr 2013 18:04:44 6,387 posts
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    WHY DID DAVID DE GEA WALK TO TRAINING?

    BECAUSE HE COULDN'T CATCH THE BUS
  • SolidSCB 19 Apr 2013 18:05:09 6,387 posts
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    Hahahaha football jokes lol
  • President_Weasel 19 Apr 2013 18:52:45 8,942 posts
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    SolidSCB wrote:
    WHY DID DAVID DE GEA WALK TO TRAINING?

    BECAUSE HE COULDN'T CATCH THE BUS
    Why would he even try to catch the bus? There's no way any human being could possibly catch a falling or thrown bus; they're incredibly heavy metal things. A goalkeeper in particular, who relies on having uninjured arms to make his living, would be a complete fool to even try.

    Unless maybe it was a soft toy bus.
  • morriss 19 Apr 2013 20:02:02 70,911 posts
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    nickthegun wrote:
    Oh. Right.

    ..
    ..
    ..
    ..

    I dont get it..
    It's because it isn't funny.
  • Trowel 19 Apr 2013 20:42:43 17,425 posts
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    Speaking of things that aren't funny, here's Everton's new crest

    WTF :(
  • ResidentKnievel 19 Apr 2013 20:52:33 6,110 posts
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    It's more of a traffic cone than a light house

    It's probably not meant to be a lighthouse but that's all I've ever seen

    Edited by ResidentKnievel at 20:54:44 19-04-2013

    [code]Armoured_Bear wrote:
    Unlike yourself, I don't have a weird obsession with any platform.[/code]

  • Lamb 19 Apr 2013 21:18:41 472 posts
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    All newspapers are shit with no exception.

    John Terry snubs FA chief David Bernstein's attempt to shake hands

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/chelsea/10006484/John-Terry-snubs-FA-chief-David-Bernsteins-attempt-to-shake-hands.html
  • President_Weasel 19 Apr 2013 21:21:51 8,942 posts
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    ResidentKnievel wrote:
    It's more of a traffic cone than a light house

    It's probably not meant to be a lighthouse but that's all I've ever seen
    A simple google search would tell you it's a pretty accurate representation of Prince Rupert's Tower


    Anyone looking for an easy joke could try something about a two story semi-ruin being the highest and in best condition building in the area, or perhaps that they use an image of a jail in order to instill primal fear in Liverpool supporters.

    Edited by President_Weasel at 21:23:19 19-04-2013
  • kalel 19 Apr 2013 21:29:10 86,275 posts
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    I've literally only just realised you two are two different posters.
  • FWB 19 Apr 2013 21:36:36 43,803 posts
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    Crest looks too... modern. Old one please.
  • Dougs 19 Apr 2013 22:15:14 66,629 posts
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    Welcome to the world of Disney badges. All to protect copyright to flog more stuff.
  • ecureuil 19 Apr 2013 22:23:20 76,486 posts
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    Looks like a fake team logo from Pro Evo. "Merseyside Blue."
  • roz123 20 Apr 2013 07:40:23 7,112 posts
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    Well that's the smallest tower I've ever seen, looks more like a shed.
  • Syrette 20 Apr 2013 08:29:43 43,061 posts
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    uglygamer wrote:
    Michu really should be on the shortlist for PFA player of the year, if he had the same season with United or City instead of Swansea he probably be favourite to win it.
    Exactly.

    I hate how biased these things are towards Man Utd, Arsenal, CHelsea, Liverpool, Man City.

  • FWB 20 Apr 2013 08:40:42 43,803 posts
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    Should go to Bale. Not even close IMHO.
  • Syrette 20 Apr 2013 08:59:43 43,061 posts
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    Nah, Suarez has carried Liverpool more than Bale has Spurs, I think.

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