Fill the butter tub with wasps
Stealing from communal work fridge • Page 4
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smoothpete 29,422 posts
Seen 7 hours ago
Registered 9 years ago -
heyyo 14,363 posts
Seen 10 hours ago
Registered 7 years ago@Alastair - I upset him by being the new guy, and also I instantly had more responsibilities than him and he'd been there for ages and felt he deserved. It was a call centre so getting upset about more resposibilities is a bit special as everyone who works there loses.
@mrpon - You put the syringe into the bread layers and inject
I would have liked to see the mess as he chowed down on it... or maybe it didn't work? I dunno it was the last thing I did there and I left before lunchtime.
@S.J.Rogers - Do I really live close to you? haha, don't worry I won't run you over having only passed my test last week ... but I will inject you with milk! -
Alastair 12,347 posts
Seen 13 hours ago
Registered 11 years agoheyyo! wrote:
I guessed it might be something like that. People can act like right arseholes when they feel threatened.
@Alastair - I upset him by being the new guy, and also I instantly had more responsibilities than him and he'd been there for ages and felt he deserved. It was a call centre so getting upset about more resposibilities is a bit special as everyone who works there loses.Not as nice as I used to be
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Load_2.0 14,969 posts
Seen 6 hours ago
Registered 10 years agosmoothpete wrote:
Not everyone has a wasp halberd like yours to herd them into the tub.
Fill the butter tub with wasps -
Lexx87 20,873 posts
Seen 18 hours ago
Registered 7 years ago -
yupyup 3,623 posts
Seen 11 hours ago
Registered 8 years agoNot food related, but I had a coworker who kept nicking my headphones after I went home. Didn't like him to begin with, and he never asked, or said thanks etc. So I messaged him at work to ask if he'd had any itching in his ear, because I'd had an ear infection a week earlier and just to be aware of it. He never took them again. Although he did blurt it out in front of a few colleagues which was a bit embarrasing
So, lick the butter knife in front of everyone and then butter your bread.Hands Off Our Penises
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Vice.Destroyer 5,632 posts
Seen 6 hours ago
Registered 6 years agoDeckard1 wrote:
Post of the day.
Take an automatic weapon in to work tomorrow and take your colleagues hostage. Kill one of them every five minutes until someone owns up to stealing your butter. Kill him, and then kill the rest of your colleagues for hiding the truth from you.
By this time the police should have arrived. The police are coming for your butter, so you need to kill as many of them as possible. You can then turn the gun on yourself, safe in the knowledge that your butter is safe.
(stealth watch BBC News Scotland later today. There will be a lot of cadaverous bread thieves on the news tonight) -
boo 10,797 posts
Seen 6 hours ago
Registered 10 years agoThe butter's being stolen from a hospital fridge?
Are you sure it's a thief? It might be the ebola virus. -
matt6666 2,621 posts
Seen 1 year ago
Registered 4 years agoRest your dick through a hole in the tub.. Tricky, but doable. -
Salaman 16,729 posts
Seen 14 hours ago
Registered 9 years agoMake an imprint of your cock in the butter? See if that works?
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freaxgamer 1,599 posts
Seen 4 weeks ago
Registered 7 years agoI HATE Fridge thieves.....I lost a sandwich I made yesterday coz of some thief. It was a Sunday Lunch (Left Overs) Sarnie!! They are like the best butties ever.
I'm gonna do something next week and see if I can catch them!! Laxative.....LMAO -
DFawkes 19,583 posts
Seen 5 hours ago
Registered 8 years ago"Please don't take any of this butter. This is a passive aggressive note, the handgun in my desk is significantly less passive."Kirby is the man! Even if he wasn't, he'd just ingest and become one.
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Grunk 4,718 posts
Seen 17 hours ago
Registered 8 years agoGet a tub of "I can't believe it's not butter"
Remove contents.
Insert Butter.
Place in fridge. -
freaxgamer 1,599 posts
Seen 4 weeks ago
Registered 7 years agoGrunk wrote:
Get a tub of "I can't believe it's not butter"
Remove contents.
Insert Butter.
Place in fridge.
Pure Genius!! lol -
President_Weasel 7,941 posts
Seen 9 hours ago
Registered 9 years agodutchspeededup wrote:
Oh Noes, it's the tragedy of the commons all over again, but with butter.
Stop buying butter, and steal someone else's.
That is literally the first time I have ever used my Economics degree. -
billythekid 10,294 posts
Seen 10 hours ago
Registered 8 years agoGet one of those recordable greetings cards, take it apart, record a message detailing what's going to happen to the motherfucker who steals your butter and place it in the butter so it activates when the lid is removed. -
Salaman 16,729 posts
Seen 14 hours ago
Registered 9 years agoOr scream "BUTTER THIEF!!!!!" into it as a recording. -
bigshot316 23,185 posts
Seen 5 days ago
Registered 5 years agoFor weeks I got fed up of someone stealing my milk from the work fridge.
I eventually realised that it was dissapearing on certain days, at the same time each day.
Looking at the staffing sheets, I could see that there were only 2 people on their breaks at this time who would be making brews.
So from there it was just common sense really.
I brought in a hammer and I murdered every single person in the whole building. -
Cadence 1,532 posts
Seen 19 hours ago
Registered 7 years agoLOL. This thread has made my day.gif)
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President_Weasel 7,941 posts
Seen 9 hours ago
Registered 9 years agobigshot316 wrote:
Work shoul probably provide milk; I'm not saying it's a basic human right but certainly tea is an embedded part of British working culture, and the tea round is a bonding ritual (or source of insane fury, but never mind). Failing that, a tea kitty should probably be arranged to cover communal milk purchase, as it's absurdly wasteful to have a bottle of milk for everyone then throw it away when you don't use all of it.
For weeks I got fed up of someone stealing my milk from the work fridge.
I eventually realised that it was dissapearing on certain days, at the same time each day.
Looking at the staffing sheets, I could see that there were only 2 people on their breaks at this time who would be making brews.
So from there it was just common sense really.
I brought in a hammer and I murdered every single person in the whole building.
Butter and cheese are non-communal dairy products in my worldview though. A man's butter should be his castle, or something. Property may be theft, but get your hands off my butter or I'll stab you right up, sort of thing.
Cereal-eaters should pay for their own damn milk though. -
LeoliansBro 35,822 posts
Seen 12 hours ago
Registered 7 years agoAttach length of string to butter.
Attach other end of string to big toe.
Et voila! Whenever anyone moves your butter, you'll instantly know through the agonising feeling of your toe being pulled off.LB, you really are a massive geek.
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Vice.Destroyer 5,632 posts
Seen 6 hours ago
Registered 6 years agoI think I prefer the whole 'kill-the-office' option. It's less CRAZY, LB. -
matt6666 2,621 posts
Seen 1 year ago
Registered 4 years agoCrazy gets the dude respect though, fear, less likely to do it again!
Anyway, back on topIc, have sex with the butter. -
matt6666 2,621 posts
Seen 1 year ago
Registered 4 years agoCrazy gets the dude respect though, fear, less likely to do it again!
Anyway, back on topIc, have sex with the butter. -
Shivoa 5,677 posts
Seen 4 days ago
Registered 11 years agoY'know the great thing about LSD is you really only need a tiny amount of it. And unlike laxatives this'll lead to great amusement for the whole office. I suspect a thin brushing of the top of the butter with the fluid would be enough to get the thief.
Just saying. -
Whatsfor 2,187 posts
Seen 1 day ago
Registered 6 years agoI hear the real reason Raul Moat went ape shit was because he got home from prison and some fucker had lifted his butter. -
TechnoHippy 14,300 posts
Seen 10 hours ago
Registered 10 years agoI knew someone , who on his last day at work replaced all the milk powder with laxative and then removed all the toilet paper from the toilets. He was fondly remembered.gif)
Alternatively, come into work naked, except for butter to cover your unmentionables. Then go round and ask everyone do they want any butter, anyone who doesn't look you in the eye is clearly guilty and deserves death by butter choking. -
mal 20,707 posts
Seen 3 hours ago
Registered 11 years agoPresident Weasel wrote:
I know someone who drinks it
Cereal-eaters should pay for their own damn milk though.
Luckily we seem to have magic fridges. They're always half-full of full cartons with at least a few days left on their best befores. Only think that annoys me is people who open a new carton instead of using the last drops out of the currently opened ones, leaving me to empty, rinse out and recycle three cartons just to get a drop of milk for my tea.
IF IT'S FINISHED, THROW IT AWAY FFS.Cubby didn't know how to turn off sigs!
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skuzzbag 5,210 posts
Seen 7 hours ago
Registered 9 years agoI injected blue food colouring into one of those blueberry breakfast bars once after mine kept getting knicked. It was my team leader and he wasn't happy.
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To quote Frankie Boyle
"There is only one way to find out who keeps stealing my butter....................an HIV test" -
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