Stealing from communal work fridge Page 3

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  • dutchspeededup 17 Aug 2010 09:53:55 4,958 posts
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    You work in a hospital? Damn, you have NO excuse not to get stabby. Butter theft pay and conditions... Seriously, no-one would blame you
  • Jonsend 17 Aug 2010 09:56:11 717 posts
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    Could you get a jar of something weird looking from a polish supermarket, empty it out and clean it and put your butter in there?
  • smoothpete 17 Aug 2010 09:56:30 31,839 posts
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    At my last office we had a new Director join, and people kept stealing his Alpen. He sent an email to the entire European workforce complaining about it, that would have been about 5,000 people or so. Dumbass. The responses were funny, particularly the swiss you stated their national pride in having invented Alpen, confirmed that they were not responsible for the thefts, and wished him well in his efforts to catch the culprit
  • chopsen 17 Aug 2010 09:57:38 16,290 posts
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    If you work in hospital, I think you're fucked. My experience of working in hospitals was that people will just nick/eat anything they find, and so many people come and go I doubt it's just one person.

    However, as you *do* work in a hospital, I guess it would be easy to source something you could add to the butter to make the thief regret eating it.....
  • sport 17 Aug 2010 09:59:34 12,818 posts
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    Has the art of making a sandwich at home and taking it to work been lost through the ages?
  • Deleted user 17 August 2010 10:01:22
    Really think you should smother yourself in the butter first if you're going to follow Deckard's advice.
  • QueenofSpain 17 Aug 2010 10:04:43 433 posts
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    sport wrote:
    Has the art of making a sandwich at home and taking it to work been lost through the ages?

    You can't make toast at home ready though can you:-)
  • Whatsfor 17 Aug 2010 10:07:19 2,189 posts
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    Vice.Destroyer wrote:
    elstoof wrote:
    Attach a photo of you with your cock in the butter to the tub.

    Or put all your stuff in a carrier bag and tie it up.

    I'll skip the first part of your advice. And I am already doing the second part of your advice. The bitches just tear through it. Like the criminal, thieving bitches that they are. Then they have the audacity to tie the bag up again. Presumably that nobody else steals what has now become our (thief and victim) butter.

    My missus once used the "knot-in-bag" technique at her work to conceal her two enchiladas. She went in at lunch time and one of the enchiladas had been scoffed and the knot retied! Bastard...
  • smoothpete 17 Aug 2010 10:08:52 31,839 posts
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    I want enchiladas for lunch! Fuck, I'd steal the whole bag if they were in our fridge here. Tell her to take a less delicious lunch in. She's only got herself to blame.
  • matt6666 17 Aug 2010 10:09:03 2,620 posts
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    They eat toast in Spain? Thought it was tapas and San miguel..
  • mwtb 17 Aug 2010 10:10:05 2,381 posts
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    I want to know who takes bread to work with the full intention of hunting down some butter? Then again, even if people stated up front that there was "communal butter" I wouldn't use it. I've seen some pretty horrifying hygiene habits in shared kitchens in my time.
  • Whatsfor 17 Aug 2010 10:12:15 2,189 posts
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    Also a solution for Vice.Destroyer;

    1) Buy some Avery stickers.
    2) Write "Medicated Laxative Butter" on the sticker.
    3) Place the sticker on the lid of the butter.
    4) Boom, problem solved!

    Edit:

    If sticker doesn't work, add laxatives.
  • matt6666 17 Aug 2010 10:14:51 2,620 posts
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    Bull fighting victims getting sub standard care because of this situ
  • smoothpete 17 Aug 2010 10:14:53 31,839 posts
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    At WorldCom before they went tits up, some disgruntled employee pissed in various food containers in the fridge of their kitchenette, then did a shit in the dishwasher. So I'm told anyway.
  • billythekid 17 Aug 2010 10:16:02 11,403 posts
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    Not going to help with your butter dilemma but these look good for sarnies:
    http://bizlinks.wordpress.com/2008/10/11/●the-fridge-work-no-more-stolen-lunches-by-the-bastards-at-last-someone-has-come-up-with-a-solution/
  • mrpon 17 Aug 2010 10:17:07 29,596 posts
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    Solution

    Give yourself 5 or gig, you're worth it.

  • Load_2.0 17 Aug 2010 10:17:15 19,685 posts
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    Whatsfor wrote:
    Vice.Destroyer wrote:
    elstoof wrote:
    Attach a photo of you with your cock in the butter to the tub.

    Or put all your stuff in a carrier bag and tie it up.

    I'll skip the first part of your advice. And I am already doing the second part of your advice. The bitches just tear through it. Like the criminal, thieving bitches that they are. Then they have the audacity to tie the bag up again. Presumably that nobody else steals what has now become our (thief and victim) butter.

    My missus once used the "knot-in-bag" technique at her work to conceal her two enchiladas. She went in at lunch time and one of the enchiladas had been scoffed and the knot retied! Bastard...

    Now this is reason for rage. That is so fucking out of order, eating someones sandwich? Jesus I could understand it if you were working with tramps and the homeless but in an office environment! Thats a slap in the face.

    Butter on the other hand... meh.
  • Whatsfor 17 Aug 2010 10:17:39 2,189 posts
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    smoothpete wrote:
    At WorldCom before they went tits up, some disgruntled employee pissed in various food containers in the fridge of their kitchenette, then did a shit in the dishwasher. So I'm told anyway.

    /stealth disgruntled employee post
  • matt6666 17 Aug 2010 10:18:57 2,620 posts
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    Heh, yeah.. 'some'
  • lucky_jim 17 Aug 2010 10:27:58 5,353 posts
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    Not sure how this would work with butter, but I know someone who laced her milk with a heavy dose of laxatives because she was pissed off with going to the fridge and finding the bottle empty (literally, the fucker would merrily take the last drop). The culprit was quickly identified.
  • Lexx87 17 Aug 2010 10:30:24 20,863 posts
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    Just get loads of bits of toast in there so it looks like shit.

    Speak the truth hussy!

  • heyyo 17 Aug 2010 10:32:22 14,369 posts
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    A cunt of an colleague really gave me a tough time in my last job, snide comments about my work and my life, and he openly admitted to eating my lunches etc Told the bosses blahblah, but I got another better paid job so I was out of there.

    In my last week I threw his food in the bin every day, emptied his drinks in the sink and once opened a pack of his crisps and ate them in front of his face, that felt good. My last day, I took a syringe full of milk (not an euphemism!) and injected his sandwiches and his banana which for some stupid reason he kept in the fridge. FTW!
  • Lexx87 17 Aug 2010 10:33:26 20,863 posts
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    LOL nice work :)

    Speak the truth hussy!

  • Alastair 17 Aug 2010 10:34:53 16,410 posts
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    He sounds like a tosser - what did you do to upset him in the first place?
  • mrpon 17 Aug 2010 10:34:57 29,596 posts
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    How on earth, do you inject a sandwich with milk?!

    Give yourself 5 or gig, you're worth it.

  • Load_2.0 17 Aug 2010 10:35:50 19,685 posts
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    Put some plastic (NON TOXIC) items in the butter.

    Small childrens toys would be a winner, toy bugs, jewels or action figures.

    That should be enough to put off the thieves.

    Maybe a small note saying "Stop taking my butter, I know it's you"

    Or an exploding dye pack, a miniturised cctv camera and a low current alarm bell.
  • S.J.Rogers 17 Aug 2010 10:39:40 3,557 posts
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    heyyo! wrote:
    A cunt of an colleague really gave me a tough time in my last job, snide comments about my work and my life, and he openly admitted to eating my lunches etc Told the bosses blahblah, but I got another better paid job so I was out of there.

    In my last week I threw his food in the bin every day, emptied his drinks in the sink and once opened a pack of his crisps and ate them in front of his face, that felt good. My last day, I took a syringe full of milk (not an euphemism!) and injected his sandwiches and his banana which for some stupid reason he kept in the fridge. FTW!

    See, you frighten me hayyo..!

    And the fact you live so close, just gives me the willies. /o\
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