Stealing from communal work fridge Page 12

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  • Craig0702 1 Nov 2010 14:54:58 2,178 posts
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    Alastair wrote:
    Vice.Destroyer wrote:
    Don't ask me. All I can say is that I nearly put in a grievance. I was this close. FUCK. I loved the fact that those toasters made sure that my weekly food expenditure at work was never more than 4. On average. Back to expensive McDonalds.

    But, surely it's possible to eat, like, *raw* bread if you can't toast it...?

    I laughed more than I should have at that :D
  • heyyo 1 Nov 2010 14:58:47 14,374 posts
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    "what do you put in a toaster?"

    "...er toast! ... wait"

    never gets old that :)
  • Craig0702 1 Nov 2010 15:08:36 2,178 posts
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    "What do cows drink?"

    "MILK! No, shit, you..."
  • Vice.Destroyer 1 Nov 2010 21:26:34 5,823 posts
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    LockeTribal wrote:
    Alastair wrote:
    Vice.Destroyer wrote:
    Don't ask me. All I can say is that I nearly put in a grievance. I was this close. FUCK. I loved the fact that those toasters made sure that my weekly food expenditure at work was never more than 4. On average. Back to expensive McDonalds.

    But, surely it's possible to eat, like, *raw* bread if you can't toast it...?

    What sort of uncouth savage do you think he is man?!

    QFT

    I'll survive. But Jesus Christ, if it ain't one thing, it's another
  • Ged42 1 Nov 2010 21:51:38 7,703 posts
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    I think there's a definite gap in the market for a travel/desktop toaster. Nearest is this from the Onion.

    It would need to have industrial launching springs to allow it to double as a personal defence.
  • pinebear 1 Nov 2010 22:55:46 8,565 posts
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    Industrial lunching springs.

  • paul_haine 1 Nov 2010 23:52:14 4,205 posts
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    Jeepers wrote:
    It's been asked, but how the fuck do you mis-use a toaster?

    At university I had to carefully warn a housemate that adjusting the bread while it was in the toaster with a metal fork wasn't the sanest thing he could be doing. He said it was ok because he wasn't touching the sides. This is someone who thought you boiled eggs by putting them in the kettle.

    I also knew someone else who's housemate buttered the bread before toasting it, so the toaster ended up with a load of rancid butter in the crumb tray.
  • RetardStrong 2 Nov 2010 13:49:40 3,229 posts
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    Ugh, my brother crams two sides of toast with cheese in between in the toaster, leaving molten stinking cheese cemented in the crumb tray, it nearly caught fire as well because of that.
  • Vice.Destroyer 2 Nov 2010 16:57:01 5,823 posts
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    There is a joke to be made about your story and your UID. But I won't. It's unkind.
  • Vice.Destroyer 11 Jan 2011 12:01:04 5,823 posts
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    As a final epitaph to this story, I have now brought in my own toaster to work. I get strange looks, but I don't give a shit. Toasted bread rules.
  • S.J.Rogers 11 Jan 2011 12:04:55 3,557 posts
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    Keep up the fight Vice.

    We need people like you, standing firm against the masses.
  • billythekid 11 Jan 2011 12:14:40 11,032 posts
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    Speaking of toast, I know someone who enjoys marmite and peanut butter.

    TOGETHER ON THE SAME PIECE OF TOAST! O_O
  • S.J.Rogers 11 Jan 2011 12:15:39 3,557 posts
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    I love that too...
  • spamdangled 11 Jan 2011 12:20:38 27,271 posts
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    Jeepers wrote:
    It's been asked, but how the fuck do you mis-use a toaster?

    By not adhering to the working time directive and forcing it to work unsociable hours, below minimum wage. Also preventing it from observing daily worship rules according to their religion.

    3DS: 4055-2781-2855 Xbox: spamdangled PSN: dark_morgan Wii U: Spamdangle Steam: spamdangled

  • spamdangled 11 Jan 2011 12:21:43 27,271 posts
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    Vice.Destroyer wrote:
    As a final epitaph to this story, I have now brought in my own toaster to work. I get strange looks, but I don't give a shit. Toasted bread rules.

    I don't see a PAT sticker on that thing...

    Towering Inferno waiting to happen!

    3DS: 4055-2781-2855 Xbox: spamdangled PSN: dark_morgan Wii U: Spamdangle Steam: spamdangled

  • JonFE 11 Jan 2011 12:49:21 1,438 posts
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    Vice.Destroyer wrote:
    As a final epitaph to this story, I have now brought in my own toaster to work. I get strange looks, but I don't give a shit. Toasted bread rules.

    Will you be locking this baby up, so that it won't get misused by your co-workers?
  • DaM 11 Jan 2011 12:51:31 12,902 posts
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    darkmorgado wrote:
    Vice.Destroyer wrote:
    As a final epitaph to this story, I have now brought in my own toaster to work. I get strange looks, but I don't give a shit. Toasted bread rules.

    I don't see a PAT sticker on that thing...

    Towering Inferno waiting to happen!

    Looks less than a year old, he's OK.

    What happens if someone else creeps up and toasts 4 bits of bread when VD wants to use it.....he'll go postal!!
  • Lexx87 11 Jan 2011 12:53:23 20,869 posts
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    Someone should take the fuse out the plug and just watch him get more and more annoyed at how the toaster won't work.

    Speak the truth hussy!

  • Vice.Destroyer 11 Jan 2011 13:01:27 5,823 posts
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    :)

    No, this stays by my desk. Thankfully, those savages won't steal from desks. Only from fridges.
  • sport 11 Jan 2011 13:11:38 12,579 posts
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    Could you have bought a bigger toaster mate?!? Looks like you're over compensating for something.
  • Load_2.0 11 Jan 2011 13:14:13 18,934 posts
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    Toasters, the nemesis of fire wardens throughout the UK.



  • spamdangled 11 Jan 2011 13:15:59 27,271 posts
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    Vice.Destroyer wrote:
    :)

    No, this stays by my desk. Thankfully, those savages won't steal from desks. Only from fridges.

    And what happens when you go to lunch? Or have a day off sick or as leave?

    I predict coming back to a crumb-littered desk and subsequent shooting sprees.

    3DS: 4055-2781-2855 Xbox: spamdangled PSN: dark_morgan Wii U: Spamdangle Steam: spamdangled

  • geeza2020 11 Jan 2011 13:19:25 1,884 posts
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    Ged42 wrote:
    I think there's a definite gap in the market for a travel/desktop toaster. Nearest is this from the Onion.

    It would need to have industrial launching springs to allow it to double as a personal defence.

    On the side of the box for the toaster it says "make up to 4 pieces of toast in half an hour!" O_o

    Thats a fucking seriously long wait for four pieces of toast. Is it running off one triple-A battery or something???

  • Salaman 11 Jan 2011 13:59:12 18,878 posts
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    billythekid wrote:
    Speaking of toast, I know someone who enjoys marmite and peanut butter.

    TOGETHER ON THE SAME PIECE OF TOAST! O_O

    Speaking of marmite. My EG Secret Santa provided me with a supply of British foodstuffs, including marmite.
    As I know the stuff and fall into the "hate it" category, I told my mom and stephdad they could have it, they might just like it.
    My mom had a look, opened it, smelt it and proclaimed this was a flavour enhancer that you use for making soup, not something to put on your bread.
    I did try to explain people in the UK put it on toast but she refused to believe me. So it'll be going in her soup.
  • billythekid 11 Jan 2011 14:03:16 11,032 posts
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    :D
  • JonFE 11 Jan 2011 14:08:48 1,438 posts
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    geeza2020 wrote:
    Ged42 wrote:
    I think there's a definite gap in the market for a travel/desktop toaster. Nearest is this from the Onion.

    It would need to have industrial launching springs to allow it to double as a personal defence.

    On the side of the box for the toaster it says "make up to 4 pieces of toast in half an hour!" O_o

    Thats a fucking seriously long wait for four pieces of toast. Is it running off one triple-A battery or something???


    Actually, its title is "USB Powered Toaster Gift Box", I guess you can take it from here. :)
  • Vice.Destroyer 11 Jan 2011 14:31:25 5,823 posts
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    @sport
    What is wrong with wanting to have your 4 slices done in the best way possible.

    /looks in his underpants and pats his chippolata. Then toasts it

    @Darkmorgado
    If that was to happen, I'll channel Jared Loughner. I'm pretty sure that Gabrielle Gifford has been stealing butter on her campaign trail.
  • Deleted user 4 November 2011 23:33:00
    fuck reddit
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