FUCK YOU IKEA YOU FUCKER! Page 4

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  • Ged42 26 May 2010 09:01:05 7,749 posts
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    localnotail wrote:
    dunts wrote:
    smoothpete wrote:
    Ikea would be a fucking great location for a big movie or game shoot out

    Or a fire.

    or a flashmob

    I like Ikea stuff. It's practical and affordable and nicely designed. You should just remember to use power tools to assemble it. We've got some massive wardrobes and a bed which I bought when I won 1K of vouchers from there a few years back. Survived a house move absolutely fine. My sofas are lovely - comfortable and modular for various uses.

    Hah power screwdrivers are for sissies.

    /Nurses blisters
  • Zomoniac 26 May 2010 09:06:12 7,851 posts
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    My life was empty until I found Billy bookcases.
  • Mageme 26 May 2010 09:19:47 2,030 posts
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    Another thumbs up here for Billy bookcases. Sturdy and cheap (and a current repository for my games collection).

    Though I agree with the 'hating walking around Ikea' experience. I'm usually halfway through the store before I have enough and need to get out of the store pronto. Is a bit soul-destroying when you look on the map only to realise you're halfway through the Ikea maze, nowhere near the exit!

    But it's nice to have a cheap hot dog meal at the end of the ordeal. I like the Dime bars too. Like a cheap Almond Roca.

    3DS: 5086-1465-9252

  • Deleted user 26 May 2010 09:24:56
    Just the idea of an angry man travelling on a bus with a broken bed made me lmao! Thanks.
  • Tonka 26 May 2010 09:32:36 20,776 posts
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    Don't get me wrong. I like IKEA for the most part. It's just that fucking bed that made me lose my mind. HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU SELL SUCH CLAP TRAP SHIT YOU MULTI BILLIONAIRE FUCKERS!

    Other than that I enjoy going to IKEA every now and then. I'm also super speedy when I have to. If I go on my own I rarely spend more than 20 minutes in total sometimes less.

    (HINT: take a short cut through the sales points and go straight to the info desk and find where to get your stuff. Then blitz through the self serve register)

    So I consider myself a skilled IKEA shopper. AND THEN THEIR FUCKING SHIT ASS BED FUCKER BREAKS AT FOUR IN THE FUCKING MORNING!

    It's not fair.


    The bad is going back on Saturday (which is the worst day to go there).

    If you can read this you really need to fiddle with your forum settings.

  • Deleted user 26 May 2010 09:35:02
    "FUCK YOU IKEA YOU FUCKER!"

    That cracks me up >:D
  • silentbob 26 May 2010 09:46:06 28,999 posts
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    AltCtrlDelete wrote:
    Just the idea of an angry grown man having to travel on a bus made me lmao! Thanks.
    Fixed.

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  • Tonka 26 May 2010 10:14:18 20,776 posts
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    It's all for the environment.
    /twiddle dreadlocks

    If you can read this you really need to fiddle with your forum settings.

  • Deleted user 28 May 2010 16:19:17
    Salaman wrote:
    white_frank_white wrote:
    I saw my exact bed in a porn film once. True story

    Did you check to see if it was your wall paper?

    white frank, lol, I've seen you in a DFS Sofa advert recently. Spitting image, mate. I'll have to see if it's about on Youtube and link you up.
  • MrTomFTW Moderator 28 May 2010 17:06:21 38,659 posts
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    There's an angry dwarf in a DFS Sofa advert?

    Follow me on Twitter: @MrTom
    Voted by the community "Best mod" 2011, 2012 and 2013.

  • Sockbag 30 May 2010 22:11:06 83 posts
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    http://ikeahacker.blogspot.com/
  • speedofthepuma 30 May 2010 22:25:17 13,302 posts
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    Quiet down there.

    I lurk. If I've spoken to you, I'm either impassioned, or drunk.

  • ISmoke 31 May 2010 22:16:42 595 posts
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    Hate to say it, I work part time at Ikea selling kitchens!

    /crys
  • Deleted user 31 May 2010 22:25:22
    I had to assemble one of their more expensive TV benches a while ago and it put me into a rage usually reserved for Sky customer care and Sunday drivers. It's hasn't collapsed though and does look pretty nice.
  • souljah 31 May 2010 22:30:45 4,701 posts
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    I have to say, I actually enjoy putting IKEA shite together. I've actually been known to volunteer to put the stuff together.

    A cup of tea, some relaxing music, a large spliff and a KUNTSLURPER wardrobe (with additional rails) and I'm quite happy.
  • skuzzbag 31 May 2010 23:17:25 5,651 posts
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    Yeah... smoking blow is ace.
  • Red-Moose 1 Jun 2010 00:26:10 5,346 posts
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    souljah wrote:
    I have to say, I actually enjoy putting IKEA shite together. I've actually been known to volunteer to put the stuff together.

    A cup of tea, some relaxing music, a large spliff and a KUNTSLURPER wardrobe (with additional rails) and I'm quite happy.

    You are a capitalists dream
  • Psychotext 1 Jun 2010 00:44:54 54,391 posts
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    I have a crapload of stuff to buy at Ikea this week... and I've got to pay that extortionate delivery charge because my roof rack / car is broken. Would be cheaper to have a taxi bring the damn stuff.
  • mrpon 1 Jun 2010 00:52:31 29,183 posts
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    Meatball and chips tho.

    Give yourself 5 or gig, you're worth it.

  • Psychotext 6 Jun 2010 02:04:30 54,391 posts
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    Two fucking weeks to deliver my stuff. Inept wankers.

    Should have gone with the taxi after all.
  • JediMasterMalik 6 Jun 2010 03:00:35 11,820 posts
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    Since when has swearing been allowed in titles? Just thought there were rules or something against that.
  • Pirotic Moderator 6 Jun 2010 08:56:21 20,648 posts
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    Post deleted
  • BooFlash 6 Aug 2010 08:14:04 1 posts
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    I didn't know to deliver stuff from Ikea takes so long! When I bought furniture it was delivered during two days. I like Ikea a lot and for those who want to complain can advise a http://ikea.pissedconsumer.com/.
  • Tonka 1 Mar 2013 14:33:12 20,776 posts
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    And now there's horse meat in the food! Ffs IKEA get your act straight!

    If you can read this you really need to fiddle with your forum settings.

  • mcmonkeyplc 10 Apr 2013 13:57:41 39,467 posts
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    So I assembled my first piece of Ikea furniture, a desk with a drawer.

    Was going fine until the half way point where the manual and what was in front of me just didn't make any sense unless I reversed the position of a piece. After an hour of panic I just did what looked right to me and ended up with a cable tidy at the front of the desk and the drawer sticking out slightly.

    Fuck it, I'm not taking it apart again. I'll have a cup holder on my desk and people can see what's in my drawer.

    FUCK YOU IKEA!

    I still have to make an armchair...

    Come and get it cumslingers!

  • elstoof 10 Apr 2013 14:09:48 7,735 posts
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    I quite liked Ikea, then I discovered auction houses. Still, can't beat Ikea for baby things like bibs and bowls and stuff. Got a mothercare flat pack changing table and that fucking think keeps falling apart as the locking screw things keep undoing. Ikea never does that.
  • AceGrace 10 Apr 2013 15:43:35 1,192 posts
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    I have never been to an IKEA.

    Ever.

    /is special
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