FUCK YOU IKEA YOU FUCKER! Page 5

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  • elstoof 10 Apr 2013 15:47:26 7,392 posts
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    You might enjoy the crèche then.
  • joeymoto108 10 Apr 2013 19:12:01 647 posts
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    Back in primary school I had a friend who's parents occasionally took us to IKEA for their shitty hotdogs... a few years ago my friend's dad actually was dicovered to be a paedophile. Coincidental? I think not.

    'Look at you, hacker: a pathetic creature of meat and bone, panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect, immortal machine?'

  • elstoof 10 Apr 2013 19:18:43 7,392 posts
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    If driving other people's primary school aged children to a home furnishings megastore in an out of own industrial estate to watch them eat hot dogs is wrong; then I don't want to be right.
  • Tonka 17 Apr 2013 12:18:06 20,446 posts
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    This isn't directed at IKEA but

    FUCK ME WHAT FUCKING IDIOTS THERE ARE IN THIS WORLD.

    I'm so fucking pissed off right now. Stingy, whiny two faced slugs crawling around hugging their paragraphs.

    Damn you all to hell you insecure, self centered, spoiled mongs!

    If you can read this you really need to fiddle with your forum settings.

  • Rusty_M 17 Apr 2013 12:33:19 4,692 posts
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    Wtf? If this doesn't belong in the random rants thread, I don't know what does.

    The world is going mad. Me? I'm doing fine.

  • EMarkM 17 Apr 2013 12:51:22 3,174 posts
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    It's random, and a rant.

    :: sips tea ::
  • 4gate 17 Apr 2013 12:56:39 362 posts
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    Hugging their paragraphs?

    I have found IKEA to be a piece of piss to put together, solid beds and shelves, the only downer being actually going, but if you arrive at opening and leg it round you can ride the tsunami of shitbags and escape easily.
  • Tonka 17 Apr 2013 13:15:34 20,446 posts
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    I met a guy who said IKEA is the single worst thing to come out of Sweden since the forever.

    Hugging their paragraphs. I don't know how to translate the swedish word paragrafryttare. Someone who loves the fine print and wallows in minute details. Momentous Penis perhaps. But that feels a bit generic.

    If you can read this you really need to fiddle with your forum settings.

  • 4gate 17 Apr 2013 13:26:49 362 posts
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    Ah :)

    Those who actually enjoy a day at a furniture store rather than those who see furniture stores as a necessary evil when buying furniture, perhaps.
  • FWB 17 Apr 2013 17:47:47 44,585 posts
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    Pedantic/pedant.
  • billythekid 17 Apr 2013 17:59:43 11,138 posts
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    Pedantic cunt actually ;)
  • DaM 17 Apr 2013 18:00:10 13,236 posts
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    Tonka wrote:
    I met a guy who said IKEA is the single worst thing to come out of Sweden since the forever.

    Hugging their paragraphs. I don't know how to translate the swedish word paragrafryttare. Someone who loves the fine print and wallows in minute details. Momentous Penis perhaps. But that feels a bit generic.
    Sorry, Tonka, I think you are wrong - paragrafryttare is a shelving unit, available in white, black, oak and cherry. We have 2 in our kitchen.
  • jonsaan 17 Apr 2013 18:12:56 25,352 posts
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    JuanKerr wrote:
    I actually like wandering round old antiques shops and picking up the odd bargain. Certainly beats walking around the living nightmare that is IKEA.
    The worst thing about IKEA is the store is designed like a fairground ride. It's one continuous track that sort of propels you along in chav wake, then you end up in the bargain basement bit having bought nothing. So you console yourself with a plastic egg timer or something similar.

    FCUTA!

  • freakybun 17 Apr 2013 18:18:54 601 posts
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    Drove 3 hours to bristol a few years ago to get a bed.

    Got home late that evening to find that one part (a side piece) was the wrong colour wood.

    Drove back the next day and tried to have it out with the manager who quite patronisingly insisted I should have double checked the codes on all the boxes because after all it is self service..

    The fact they put different coloured items in different parts of the self service warehouse didn't wash.

    Couldn't this have been flagged on the till?

    I refer you to the title of this thread.
  • freddymercurystwin 18 Apr 2013 13:13:05 459 posts
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    freakybun wrote:
    Drove 3 hours to bristol a few years ago to get a bed.

    Got home late that evening to find that one part (a side piece) was the wrong colour wood.

    Drove back the next day and tried to have it out with the manager who quite patronisingly insisted I should have double checked the codes on all the boxes because after all it is self service..

    The fact they put different coloured items in different parts of the self service warehouse didn't wash.

    Couldn't this have been flagged on the till?

    I refer you to the title of this thread.
    In fairness you should have double checked the code as it is self service.
  • 4gate 18 Apr 2013 13:16:05 362 posts
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    I wasn't being pendantic, was just wondering what 'hugging their paragraphs' meant, which was then clearly explained. It's quite a nice phrase. Cunts :)
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