The 'Random questions that don't warrant their own threads' thread - part 2 Page 37

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  • Kosmoz 22 Apr 2013 13:47:20 7,712 posts
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    Tailjazzles!

    Every girl I ever kissed I was thinking of a pro footballer.

  • Deleted user 22 April 2013 15:12:23
    Chopsen wrote:
    If humans had tails, do you think we would have evolved to wear clothes that would cover it up (like say your naughty bits), or would it be a part of the body we would leave exposed (like your face)?
    Trousers would have had openings in the back as well as the front. This would cause all sorts of problems for Deckard.
  • Deckard1 22 Apr 2013 15:28:45 28,766 posts
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    Probably just a little hat on the end.
  • magicpanda 22 Apr 2013 15:35:55 13,420 posts
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    Depends how the tail evolved?

    Is it a glorious sight, swishing about and covered in fine downy hair or a limp pink appendage matted in pubes?
  • dsmx 22 Apr 2013 16:08:31 7,655 posts
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    Or would it simply be cut off at birth?

    "If we hit that bullseye the rest of the dominoes will fall like a a house of cards, checkmate." Zapp Brannigan

  • FWB 22 Apr 2013 16:48:17 44,858 posts
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    Another area of jewelry to buy for the the GF/wife/mistress. I also imagine they'd be stuck up certain places for fun. Make for interesting orgies.
  • Matt36 22 Apr 2013 18:45:01 1,393 posts
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    I'm back living with my parents, at least till January. Should I bother painting my old room? Its a plain white with old council shit paper.
  • Ziz0u 26 Apr 2013 09:45:54 8,515 posts
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    Any Whatsapp users here?

    I was wondering if I send out a broadcast message if everyone can see who the other recipients are?
  • Salaman 26 Apr 2013 10:42:57 19,312 posts
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    Matt36 wrote:
    I'm back living with my parents, at least till January. Should I bother painting my old room? Its a plain white with old council shit paper.
    Yes. It will take half a day to do and you'll enjoy your time spent there that much more. Worth the modest investment of time and money.
  • Fake_Blood 30 Apr 2013 17:27:00 4,319 posts
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    I live in the middle of Brussels. One of my neighbors has gotten himself a rooster.
    This thing starts going off at 5am. Would I be a total dick if I ask him to get rid of it?
  • EMarkM 30 Apr 2013 17:48:38 3,219 posts
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    @Fake_Blood In my opinion, yes, you would.

    Learn to love the chicken!
  • stephenb 30 Apr 2013 17:50:56 2,756 posts
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    Snap it's neck in the middle of the night. I used to live in the country and I hate the ginger bastards!

    Edited by stephenb at 17:51:36 30-04-2013

    PSN : v--WEDGE--v

  • ronuds 30 Apr 2013 17:52:29 21,788 posts
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    I see it as being no different than a dog who barks incessantly.
  • stephenb 30 Apr 2013 17:56:30 2,756 posts
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    I assume it would be nicer in a casserole than a dog.

    PSN : v--WEDGE--v

  • Physically_Insane 16 May 2013 12:18:47 9,049 posts
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    Alright people, hit me with the best advice that you've got. I'm going to Cyprus tomorrow for my mates wedding. I'm co-best man with another one of my best mates. Anyway, a few questions:

    1) Should I buy a wedding gift? I've never been to a wedding before so I'm not sure if people do this. Should I just buy them something over there or wait till I get back?

    2) We're having the stag do over there, but as the co-best man, should I do something special (I'm talking stripper yo) or just have a normal night out getting smashed?

    3) Best man speech. WTF do I say? Do I try to be funny or just keep it short and boring?
  • Rusty_M 16 May 2013 12:33:11 4,788 posts
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    1: Buy gift
    2: Stripper Get / Arrange something
    3: Be funny.

    All of the above: embarrass groom.

    The world is going mad. Me? I'm doing fine.

  • Deckard1 16 May 2013 12:36:07 28,766 posts
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    1. Yes.
    2. Fat stripper.
    3. Yes you have to be funny.
  • chopsen 16 May 2013 12:39:26 16,127 posts
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    Why do we wait for stag do's before getting strippers for each other. We should do it more often.

    "Hey, John, thanks for helping me prepare that report, the presentation went much better as a result and I think they're going for it. Here's a naked lady for you."
  • Physically_Insane 16 May 2013 12:59:08 9,049 posts
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    Ok. What kind of gift?
  • Jeepers 16 May 2013 13:02:09 13,185 posts
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    1. Yes. Something halfway decent if you're a best man.
    2. Buy the drinks.
    3. Keep it short and funny.
  • RyanDS 16 May 2013 13:03:22 9,602 posts
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    Physically_Insane wrote:
    Ok. What kind of gift?
    Don't they have a gift list?
  • glaeken 16 May 2013 13:13:25 11,228 posts
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    On the subject of strippers I think the rule is that if you know the person well you should be able to determine if that is really their thing or not and If you know they will absolutely hate it and be totally embarrassed you should totally book one.
  • Commander-Keen 16 May 2013 13:21:13 822 posts
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    1. Yes - Something in the 30 - 50 quid range would probably suffice
    2. Depends on the crowd. I wasn't really up for a stripper on my stag, but some people fully expect one.
    3. Heh; you kinda should've started writing it months ago! Pitch it for both ends of the spectrum - i.e. the grannies (or most offend-able sensibilities) all the way over to the lads. A few funny anecdotes, but for gods sake don't

    a) say ANYTHING that could be taken as slagging off the wife
    b) joke about the groom sleeping with prostitutes and
    c) outstay your welcome. 10 - 15 mins tops is enough.

    The best speeches tend to have themes, http://www.hitched.co.uk/speeches/speechhome.aspx - should get you on you way if you need it! :)

    Oh any try practising the speech out loud at least once. Makes a massive difference!
  • Mr_Sleep 16 May 2013 13:29:30 17,221 posts
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    Physically_Insane wrote:
    Alright people, hit me with the best advice that you've got. I'm going to Cyprus tomorrow for my mates wedding. I'm co-best man with another one of my best mates. Anyway, a few questions:

    1) Should I buy a wedding gift? I've never been to a wedding before so I'm not sure if people do this. Should I just buy them something over there or wait till I get back?

    2) We're having the stag do over there, but as the co-best man, should I do something special (I'm talking stripper yo) or just have a normal night out getting smashed?

    3) Best man speech. WTF do I say? Do I try to be funny or just keep it short and boring?
    1) The thing with buying a gift depends very much on whether they are a new couple or an existing one. If new then housey stuff, if an existing one then nice wine glasses are always the way to go. Unless they don't drink wine, of course.

    2) Does the person in question have issues with the exploitation of women?

    3) Erm, since you're leaving it last minute then I'd suggest you try some of those internet sites with ideas and jokes.

    You are a factory of sadness.

  • Salaman 16 May 2013 14:38:49 19,312 posts
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    Physically_Insane wrote:
    Alright people, hit me with the best advice that you've got. I'm going to Cyprus tomorrow for my mates wedding. I'm co-best man with another one of my best mates. Anyway, a few questions:

    1) Should I buy a wedding gift? I've never been to a wedding before so I'm not sure if people do this. Should I just buy them something over there or wait till I get back?

    2) We're having the stag do over there, but as the co-best man, should I do something special (I'm talking stripper yo) or just have a normal night out getting smashed?

    3) Best man speech. WTF do I say? Do I try to be funny or just keep it short and boring?
    You're co-best man. Agree that you'll pay for drinks/stripper and the other dude gives the speech.
  • Physically_Insane 16 May 2013 15:03:45 9,049 posts
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    Salaman wrote:
    Physically_Insane wrote:
    Alright people, hit me with the best advice that you've got. I'm going to Cyprus tomorrow for my mates wedding. I'm co-best man with another one of my best mates. Anyway, a few questions:

    1) Should I buy a wedding gift? I've never been to a wedding before so I'm not sure if people do this. Should I just buy them something over there or wait till I get back?

    2) We're having the stag do over there, but as the co-best man, should I do something special (I'm talking stripper yo) or just have a normal night out getting smashed?

    3) Best man speech. WTF do I say? Do I try to be funny or just keep it short and boring?
    You're co-best man. Agree that you'll pay for drinks/stripper and the other dude gives the speech.
    I'd rather have it the other way around.

    Thanks for the advice guys.
  • mikeck 16 May 2013 16:23:21 1,936 posts
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    Whether you're best man, or co-best man, you should be at the very least:

    - Buying a gift (an awesome one)
    - Arranging a kickass stag
    - Preparing a brilliant speech
    - And being amazingly helpful and thoughtful throughout

    And that's at the very least.

    I luckily had a fucking awesome best man, and if I ever get to return the favour I know I really have to pull out all the stops.

    It's an honour to do this, so really shouldn't be scrimped on, or planned at the last moment.

    HAVE FUN!! :p

    Edited by mikeck at 16:24:00 16-05-2013
  • cubbymoore 16 May 2013 16:36:40 36,501 posts
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    How are you supposed to use the 3 seashells?
  • mikeck 16 May 2013 16:48:15 1,936 posts
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    http://www.poopreport.com/BMnewswire/three_seashells_solved_kinda.html

    ""Aside from saving paper, what's the futuristic benefit? Who washes the seashells? If you don't get a perfect swipe the first time, what the hell do you do in your stall with feces-covered seashells?""

    o_O

    Edited by mikeck at 16:49:05 16-05-2013
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