Tomorrow... the toilet gets it

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  • phAge 22 Jul 2009 22:34:21 24,336 posts
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    While playing BF1943 tonight, I ate half a jar of pickled jalapeņos. Already I can feel my stomach preparing the latrinary version of D-Day.

    The assault commences in... 9 hours 25 minutes.
  • Psychotext 22 Jul 2009 22:35:08 53,759 posts
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    You can time your bowel movements?
  • Deleted user 22 July 2009 22:35:42
    Jam it up with a phono cable.
  • phAge 22 Jul 2009 22:36:44 24,336 posts
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    Gremmi wrote:
    Jam it up with a phono cable.
    I fear not even a gold-plated HDMI will stem the tide I'm preparing to unleash.
  • Deleted user 22 July 2009 22:36:45
    Just enter the cubicle next to me and drop your fucking load... oh no wait... that was this morning at work at 10am... fucking nostril overload.
  • Articulate-Troll 22 Jul 2009 22:36:56 3,104 posts
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    /Marks thread as 'interesting'
  • Deleted user 22 July 2009 22:38:56
    /marks fuck off with your stinking shit.
  • Deleted user 22 July 2009 22:39:56
    AltCtrlDelete wrote:
    /marks fuck off with your stinking shit.

    where's ironoman when you need him
  • Xerx3s 22 Jul 2009 23:54:59 23,944 posts
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    Apparently, in some not so civilised countries, public toilets go without toilet paper. You need to buy it from the guy outside.

    I found this out the hard way in Istanbul. True story.
  • megastar 23 Jul 2009 00:00:36 17,132 posts
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    An entire Jar!!???

    Christ! Unless your bowels are made of adamantium you are gonna have some bad times in the morning.

    I love em but they do NOT agree with me, they make me very regular and turn my shit into a thick almost greenish red hot paste. Painful! Worth it though!
  • Ged42 23 Jul 2009 00:05:50 7,700 posts
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    Do you think we should inform the local enviromental health officers or the anti-bio-terrorism clean up team?
  • Syrette 23 Jul 2009 00:06:34 43,055 posts
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    My sympathies go to your toilet.

  • Carlo 23 Jul 2009 00:12:51 17,948 posts
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    I can hear the rumble from here! Dogs are howling, the birds have flown away, even the wind moves silently across the land.

    'tis a bad moon, I tells ye! phAge is about to recreate a Thing of Unimaginable Evil. From his bum-hole :/

    PSN ID: Djini

  • Carlo 23 Jul 2009 00:13:10 17,948 posts
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    Ged42 wrote:
    Do you think we should inform the local enviromental health officers or the anti-bio-terrorism clean up team?
    HASMAT!

    PSN ID: Djini

  • StringBeanJean 23 Jul 2009 10:31:28 1,777 posts
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    I'm genuinely interested in an update please. Sounds horrific. A half jar of jalapenos?!
  • smoothpete 23 Jul 2009 10:33:07 31,308 posts
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    We get through a whole jar everytime I cook mexican, it's not that much really
  • pjmaybe 23 Jul 2009 10:34:54 70,676 posts
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    I can eat a whole jar of chillis with no real effect other than a bit of a ring sting. No cataclysmic bowel movements to end the earth though...

    Years of being a veggie / scarfing down veggie food mean I've got a digestive tract like the fucking Sarlaac.
  • Murbal 23 Jul 2009 10:55:32 21,920 posts
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    So, has the world fallen out of phAge's bottom yet?
  • modo_komodo 23 Jul 2009 16:46:49 1,194 posts
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    pjmaybe wrote:
    I can eat a whole jar of chillis with no real effect other than a bit of a ring sting. No cataclysmic bowel movements to end the earth though...

    Years of being a veggie / scarfing down veggie food mean I've got a digestive tract like the fucking Sarlaac.

    Post of the day.
  • pjmaybe 23 Jul 2009 16:49:30 70,676 posts
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    /bows
  • Fatiguez 23 Jul 2009 16:51:17 8,706 posts
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    pjmaybe wrote:
    /bowels
  • pjmaybe 23 Jul 2009 16:53:49 70,676 posts
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    Course, the downside is if I eat any boba fett, it tends to take 2000 years to digest...
  • Deleted user 23 July 2009 17:00:05
    Right, if you're in the Sarlaac, surely you'd be dead before any permanently fatal digestion can set in?
  • pjmaybe 23 Jul 2009 17:01:48 70,676 posts
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    I dunno.

    Come to think of it, how does a creature that is mostly underground take a shit? And how often if it takes 2000 years to digest anything?

    I'm possibly overthinking this.
  • phAge 23 Jul 2009 17:03:15 24,336 posts
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    Murbal wrote:
    So, has the world fallen out of phAge's bottom yet?
    No! Nothing happened! Most disappointing (possibly even a bit worrying). Went to bed fully expecting to drop off not just the kids, but my whole damn family, at the pool first thing in the morning - but all I got from my efforts was an embarrasingly small and solid stool. :(

    EDIT: No RROD either - just an (almost) pleasant warming of the exit.
  • Fatiguez 23 Jul 2009 17:04:24 8,706 posts
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    pjmaybe wrote:
    I dunno.

    Come to think of it, how does a creature that is mostly underground take a shit? And how often if it takes 2000 years to digest anything?

    I'm possibly overthinking this.

    Could be that it excretes out the same hole through which it gets its food, like... uhh... some sea creature which I don't remember the name of, but it definitely exists. Hydra maybe
  • Buztafen 23 Jul 2009 17:04:35 16,058 posts
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    Check your bed!
  • pjmaybe 23 Jul 2009 17:05:17 70,676 posts
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    phAge wrote:
    Murbal wrote:
    So, has the world fallen out of phAge's bottom yet?
    No! Nothing happened! Most disappointing (possibly even a bit worrying). Went to bed fully expecting to drop off not just the kids, but my whole damn family, at the pool first thing in the morning - but all I got from my efforts was an embarrasingly small and solid stool. :(

    Maybe you have a sarlaac digestive system then. IN 2000 years you're going to feel like you've shat a family of hedgehogs wearing suits made out of pine cones.
  • Fatiguez 23 Jul 2009 17:05:20 8,706 posts
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    The sarlaac poos in phAge's bed? Shit just got surreal
  • _Price_ 23 Jul 2009 17:05:34 3,072 posts
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    Heh. Just wait. When you least expect it.

    PHOOOOOOM!
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