STOP PRESS! New Dan Brown book on the way! Page 3

  • Page

    of 7 First / Last

  • LeoliansBro 21 Apr 2009 08:45:39 44,956 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    Gremmi wrote:
    never actually posted anything serious on here, nor anywhere else on the intertubes. Aside from a couple of ten minute writing exercises here and there.
    Easy to claim literary prowess when nobody's read anything, isn't it Grem. In unrelated news, I can type at 950 words per minute, I just choose not to on this forum.

    And this book will be utter shit. Like the previous two ('Antimatter at the Vatican lol' and 'Plagiarism 101 lol').

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • Tonka 21 Apr 2009 08:58:56 21,351 posts
    Seen 5 hours ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    angeltreats wrote:
    435
    4 Number of elements
    3 Holy Trinity
    5 second prime.. seconf coming ... made of 2 and 3 where 2 is man/woman night/day yin/yang etc etc and three the wholy trinity

    4+3+5 = 12 Number of apostles.
    1+2 = 3 Third Langdon novel. Holy trinity.


    If you can read this you really need to fiddle with your forum settings.

  • LeoliansBro 21 Apr 2009 09:01:20 44,956 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    Tonka wrote:

    4 Number of elements
    /tears up periodic table :)

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • nickthegun 21 Apr 2009 09:10:29 61,305 posts
    Seen 6 hours ago
    Registered 9 years ago
    grayson wrote:
    RichardDawkins wrote:
    Claiming somehow that Dan Brown's fucking awful work is ok, because it's just a bit of light reading is akin to saying it's okay for McDonalds to make a burger out of shite, because it's just a snack.

    You deserve more than that.

    It's okay when it's just a few inches of water

    Sounds like a perfect read by the pool.

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    My man gives real loving that's why I call him Killer
    He's not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, he's a thriller

  • Angel_Treats 21 Apr 2009 09:18:57 11,072 posts
    Seen 2 years ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    Oh given that I started this thread, I should have said that I read The Da Vinci Code and liked it while at the same time knowing it was utter, utter toss. And I watched the movie, and enjoyed that while realising it was also utter toss.

    I read his other books too and they were all exactly the same thing with different character names and slightly different locations, as someone said.

    I might get this one out of the library, but I won't buy it.

    And I am unrepentant about reading shit. At least I recognise that it's shit, and given that I have to read Literature (note the capital L) for uni, I'm allowed to read trash once in a while.
  • PearOfAnguish 21 Apr 2009 09:19:29 7,498 posts
    Seen 9 hours ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    President Weasel wrote:
    Dan Brown is the only published author I have encountered who is painfully bad at writing.

    You've never read a Matthew Reilly book, have you?

    If Dan Brown and Michael Bay had a child, that retarded offspring would be called Matthew Reilly and would write really fucking terrible novels that somehow still get published despite being fucking awful on every level.

  • LeoliansBro 21 Apr 2009 09:20:16 44,956 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    Teats, have you read Foucault's Pendulum? Excellent novel, same idea, but written by someone with a modicum of talent and well worth checking out.

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • Deleted user 21 April 2009 09:21:30
    I don't think Reilly's books are as badly written as Brown's.

    They are badly written though - but that's more down to their complete silliness - most being one long action sequence rather than having coherent plot.

    At least Reilly doesn't have the problem Brown has trying to write intelligent characters while not being very bright himself, all Reilly's characters are pretty dumb to start with. :)
  • Angel_Treats 21 Apr 2009 09:21:34 11,072 posts
    Seen 2 years ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    Nah mate, I'll have a look for it.
  • StarchildHypocrethes 21 Apr 2009 09:22:09 26,601 posts
    Seen 3 minutes ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    :D

    The Scarecrow books were in the bracket of so bad they're good though.

    Those ones involving the action professor, his team of commandos and his pet eagle weren't, however.
  • PES_Fanboy 21 Apr 2009 09:23:00 18,946 posts
    Seen 36 minutes ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    PES_Fanboy read the thread on Eurogamer whistfully, combing his widow's peak hairstyle.

    Suddenly, he ran into his front yard and jumped into his car. He gunned the sedan to the local bookstore, searching for the new Dan Brown novel.
  • LeoliansBro 21 Apr 2009 09:24:54 44,956 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    PES_Fanboy wrote:
    PES_Fanboy read the thread on Eurogamer whistfully, combing his widow's peak hairstyle.

    Suddenly, he ran into his front yard and jumped into his car. He gunned the sedan to the local bookstore, searching for the new Dan Brown novel.
    He hunted down around the bottom of the bookcase, the dark shadows coming in from the window with the coming darkness, making it hard to see. The books were in a row, with their names written on each spine, in writing.

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • LeoliansBro 21 Apr 2009 09:25:59 44,956 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    Angel_Treats wrote:
    Nah mate, I'll have a look for it.
    You geekmeeting, or know someone who is? I'll lend you it.

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • PearOfAnguish 21 Apr 2009 09:26:18 7,498 posts
    Seen 9 hours ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    The only advantage Dan Brown has is he doesn't italicise loads of words for effect like Matthew Reilly does. Yeah.

  • Deleted user 21 April 2009 09:26:52
    Meh you forgot to say how you caught a glimpse at your own awesome image in a mirror on the way.
  • PES_Fanboy 21 Apr 2009 09:28:53 18,946 posts
    Seen 36 minutes ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    The dark shadows, that made it difficult to see, meant PES_Fanboy couldn't see the written names on the spines of the books, that were in a row.

    Just then a Catholic priest, who had just finished preaching Catholicism, moved into the dark, difficult-to-see row of books with their names written on each spine, and started to strangle PES_Fanboy with his hands, cutting off the air to his lungs, trying to crush his windpipe by the strangling which he was doing with his hands.
  • LeoliansBro 21 Apr 2009 09:29:38 44,956 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    My personal award for excellence goes to the casting director for the Da Vinci Code. The main character is described in the first dozen pages of the book as 'Harrison Ford in Harris tweed' (because Dan Brown needed to rip off Indiana Jones to lend some much needed academic authority to his trash novel). So, who do we cast when we come to make the film?

    Tom Hanks. Bravo!

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • Dougs 21 Apr 2009 09:31:17 69,500 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 12 years ago
    :D
  • Deleted user 21 April 2009 09:32:01
    PearOfAnguish wrote:
    The only advantage Dan Brown has is he doesn't italicise loads of words for effect like Matthew Reilly does. Yeah.


    After italicising some more words Reilly leapt from the exploding desk, somersaulted over the killer whale, before firing his grappling hook into the stealth jet. He swung on the rope towards an attack chopper and kicked it so hard it exploded into a million pieces seemingly killing our hero.

    Only for our hero to be completely fine at the beginning of the next chapter.
  • Dougs 21 Apr 2009 09:32:30 69,500 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 12 years ago
    Leolian'sBro wrote:
    My personal award for excellence goes to the casting director for the Da Vinci Code. The main character is described in the first dozen pages of the book as 'Harrison Ford in Harris tweed' (because Dan Brown needed to rip off Indiana Jones to lend some much needed academic authority to his trash novel). So, who do we cast when we come to make the film?

    Tom Hanks. Bravo!

    Not just that, how on earth was Richard Griffiths not the big posh sod. Sure readig the book he was a fatty with gout, not Sir Ian McKellen.
  • PearOfAnguish 21 Apr 2009 09:33:12 7,498 posts
    Seen 9 hours ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    Leolian'sBro wrote:
    The main character is described in the first dozen pages of the book as 'Harrison Ford in Harris tweed'

    Reilly does this too! He describes one of his characters as being like 'Enrique Iglesias, but tougher'. Hilarious.
  • LeoliansBro 21 Apr 2009 09:34:10 44,956 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    PES glanced around at the darkness as the crushing hands crushed his throat, and noticed that the priest was wearing a 16th Century silver cock ring, as favoured by the Benedictines and Cistercians during the third year of penance to ascend to a true understanding of the scripture and meditate in a cell and eat bread and feed birds and worship God. The ring consisted of a delicate filigree tube with a series of barbs on the inside designed to grip tightly and draw blood under extertion. There were minute enamel figures of lions and lambs and blue heads on the ring, worked into a six pointed star that was also five pointed and a map to the secret that he was looking for.

    But he didn't have time to think about this because the monk was strangling him, and also wearing trousers.

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • LeoliansBro 21 Apr 2009 09:35:29 44,956 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    Dougs wrote:

    Not just that, how on earth was Richard Griffiths not the big posh sod. Sure readig the book he was a fatty with gout, not Sir Ian McKellen.
    Sir Leigh Teabing? Not only is that the worst pastiche of an American view of English society and names, but it's an anagram of the two people he swore blind he didn't rip off in the writing of his novel!

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • Deleted user 21 April 2009 09:37:09
    Now if Dan Brown could take some tips from this thread I'd buy more of his books :D
  • Dougs 21 Apr 2009 09:37:10 69,500 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 12 years ago
    That's the fella. Is it really! Ha, that's quite funny. Nice to see he has a twisted sense of humour anyway.
  • PES_Fanboy 21 Apr 2009 09:38:29 18,946 posts
    Seen 36 minutes ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    PearOfAnguish wrote:
    Leolian'sBro wrote:
    The main character is described in the first dozen pages of the book as 'Harrison Ford in Harris tweed'

    Reilly does this too! He describes one of his characters as being like 'Enrique Iglesias, but tougher'. Hilarious.

    I've read all of Brown's books (really!) as I was trying to impress someone who liked him, and the plots are usually pretty interesting (if plagiarized), but his awkward, slow writing style always reminds me that it might be Peter Griffin behind the typewriter.
  • StarchildHypocrethes 21 Apr 2009 09:39:17 26,601 posts
    Seen 3 minutes ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    Leolian'sBro wrote:
    Sir Leigh Teabing? Not only is that the worst pastiche of an American view of English society and names, but it's an anagram of the two people he swore blind he didn't rip off in the writing of his novel!
    If that's true, then I have a whole new level of respect for him :)
  • LeoliansBro 21 Apr 2009 09:40:45 44,956 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    Dougs wrote:
    That's the fella. Is it really! Ha, that's quite funny. Nice to see he has a twisted sense of humour anyway.
    Michael Baigent and Richard Leigh.

    Now, 'Leigh' is a pretty lazy anagram of 'Leigh' in my book.

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • StarchildHypocrethes 21 Apr 2009 09:42:37 26,601 posts
    Seen 3 minutes ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    Couldn't even be arsed to change it, even better!
  • LeoliansBro 21 Apr 2009 09:43:50 44,956 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    I don't know how his defence got past what must have been a dramatic, Perry Mason esque reveal in the courtroom.

    Books are still shit though.

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • Page

    of 7 First / Last

Log in or register to reply