STOP PRESS! New Dan Brown book on the way! Page 6

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  • Stickman 21 Apr 2009 11:27:48 29,408 posts
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    nickthegun wrote:
    Stickman wrote:
    nickthegun wrote:
    In that case, you would be better off reading the beano and/or Razzle.

    They might get wet next to the pool.

    Such a big fan you laminate his books, huh?

    Just that if a Dan Brown novel got wet and illegible for a chapter or two, it really wouldn't matter that much.

    THIS SPACE FOR RENT

  • PearOfAnguish 21 Apr 2009 11:29:31 6,989 posts
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    Look inside thanks to Amazon.
    Read pages 6, 7 and 8 in particular.
  • LeoliansBro 21 Apr 2009 11:31:05 41,865 posts
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    Oh, that is awful.

    Terrible.

    Bad.

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • PearOfAnguish 21 Apr 2009 11:32:10 6,989 posts
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    Big Ears! Noddy!

    These are the names of his elite soldiers.
  • StarchildHypocrethes 21 Apr 2009 11:33:41 24,565 posts
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    But that's only because he has to bring his 10 year old daughter along because she is the only person in the world who can decipher the complex ancient heiroglyphics or something they will face :)
  • LeoliansBro 21 Apr 2009 11:34:30 41,865 posts
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    Wait, you're telling me he lifted the concept for his book from Inspector Gadget?

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • nickthegun 21 Apr 2009 11:34:36 55,866 posts
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    Stickman wrote:
    nickthegun wrote:
    Stickman wrote:
    nickthegun wrote:
    In that case, you would be better off reading the beano and/or Razzle.

    They might get wet next to the pool.

    Such a big fan you laminate his books, huh?

    Just that if a Dan Brown novel got wet and illegible for a chapter or two, it really wouldn't matter that much.

    Yeah. You really need every panel to follow a Bash Street Kids strip.

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    He totally called it

  • Dougs 21 Apr 2009 11:38:53 64,910 posts
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    PearOfAnguish wrote:
    Look inside thanks to Amazon.
    Read pages 6, 7 and 8 in particular.

    WTF us up with the bullet point listing?!
  • CosmicFuzz 21 Apr 2009 11:39:54 21,244 posts
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    Dougs wrote:
    PearOfAnguish wrote:
    Look inside thanks to Amazon.
    Read pages 6, 7 and 8 in particular.

    WTF us up with the bullet point listing?!

    This is true.
    I don't understand.
    I am small.

    What's your thoughts on Heroes Reborn? Read my TV musings here.

  • Salaman 21 Apr 2009 11:49:47 18,244 posts
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    PearOfAnguish wrote:
    Look inside thanks to Amazon.
    Read pages 6, 7 and 8 in particular.

    Oh shit. I need to know how it goes on.

    /orders

    That's the thing though. When I bought the first of his books I read through it in 2 days. As I was reading it, I realised it wasn't remotely high brow and sometimes the actual writing and plot annoyed me but I still had to read on to see what'd come next.

    Then I read the other books and by the 3rd I was getting the feeling you get with some of Pratchett's discworld books.
    You've already read this book.
    He's kept the structure but put a new plot on top of it.

    So I see where all the "He's shit!" comments are coming from.
    Still. I read them and enjoyed it in a way you enjoy a kebab which you realise isn't exactly all that great but gives you the quick fix you seem to crave at that point in time.
  • LeoliansBro 21 Apr 2009 11:51:37 41,865 posts
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    A cursory look through the 'Young Adult' section of Waterstones should reveal a massive choice of similarly forgettable books. Look for explosions and aliens on the front.

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • Stickman 21 Apr 2009 12:04:11 29,408 posts
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    nickthegun wrote:
    Yeah. You really need every panel to follow a Bash Street Kids strip.

    How would I know what Pug and the gang were up to otherwise?

    THIS SPACE FOR RENT

  • Deleted user 21 April 2009 12:11:52
    Stuart MacBride is the worst authoer I have ever read. And the only one that I have stopped half way through feeling genuine anger that it was allowed to go to press. I only picked it up because so many people were raving about it, and when I flicked through the detective was in my neighbourhood in Aberdeen, so won some bonus points already. Absolute rubbish.
  • Khanivor 21 Apr 2009 16:24:40 39,891 posts
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    Do four years of English Literature and your brain is crying out for something stupid, vapid and simple.

    After uni it took me a number of years to even pick up a novel.

    I feel A_T's pain. Acutely.
  • askew 21 Apr 2009 16:33:16 11,456 posts
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    Heh. On the other hand, I feel I've missed out on a whole host of literature so I'm working my way through a backlog of Wilde, Fitzgerald and Hemingway.
  • Deleted user 17 March 2013 17:41:59
    So. New novel out in a couple of months. This time he's going to horribly rape Dante.

    Wonder if opinions are the same since 2009.

    (ps, mowgli, you said you liked my book so suck it, bender. :D )
  • nickthegun 17 Mar 2013 17:48:15 55,866 posts
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    im quietly confident that once the names of the protagonists are released, i will be able to predict every major plot point in the book up to and including the betrayal by an old friend/mentor.

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    He totally called it

  • Steve_Perry 17 Mar 2013 18:10:36 2,447 posts
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    I quite liked the one about the meteor. Whichever book that was. But yeah, won't be reading this. I can't remember a fucking thing about The Lost Symbol it was that dull.

    VIVA STEFANSEN

  • Deleted user 17 March 2013 18:13:35
    nickthegun wrote:
    im quietly confident that once the names of the protagonists are released, i will be able to predict every major plot point in the book up to and including the betrayal by an old friend/mentor.
    They should make a Dan Brown Cluedo edition. He could generate plots based on the final results.


    Professor Gary Barlow in the Secret Passage under Nelson's Column with the Spear of Longinus.
  • nickthegun 17 Mar 2013 18:19:53 55,866 posts
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    Steve_Perry wrote:
    I quite liked the one about the meteor. Whichever book that was.
    Ive read two Dan Brown books, that one and TDVC and I was genuinely stunned by the fact that they are the same books with the main characters names crossed out.

    Plot point for plot point, beat for beat they are exactly the fucking same. Its genuinely criminal.

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    He totally called it

  • Steve_Perry 17 Mar 2013 18:27:02 2,447 posts
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    Yeah I can't fault that Nick, all of his books are pretty similar. The plot twists become so obvious after you have read one of them that you needn't bother finishing the book. Nobody would have given a shiny shit about TDVC if it wasn't for all the religious 'revelations', and the minor cult controversy that it kicked up.

    I always thought that meteor one would make a decent enough film though.

    VIVA STEFANSEN

  • nickthegun 17 Mar 2013 18:29:37 55,866 posts
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    Yeah, it was the ultimate streisand effect.

    BAN THIS SICK FILTH!

    What sick filth?

    THIS SICK FILTH!

    Oh, right. I'll be sure to check that out.

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    He totally called it

  • Deleted user 17 March 2013 18:32:07
    The meteor one is the one (I think) where a microdrone the size of a mosquito pushes a grown man into a hole, and people wield guns which use snow as ammunition.

    Which wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the "ALL TECHNOLOGY IN THIS BOOK IS REAL...REAL" disclaimer at the beginning.
  • RobTheBuilder 17 Mar 2013 18:34:52 6,521 posts
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    I would rather read the entire twilight series than a new Dan Brown book.
  • nickthegun 17 Mar 2013 18:34:57 55,866 posts
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    Oh yeah. A mosquito cam knocks that dude into the pit of doom. Then the leigh teabing character chases the tom hanks character in a helicopter.

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    He totally called it

  • Steve_Perry 17 Mar 2013 18:35:43 2,447 posts
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    I have to admit, I can't remember jack about that book either, such are DB's writing skills. Just remember thinking it would have made a decent screenplay rather than a novel.

    It's probably good for neither in reality.

    VIVA STEFANSEN

  • Steve_Perry 17 Mar 2013 18:36:34 2,447 posts
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    RobTheBuilder wrote:
    I would rather read the entire twilight series than a new Dan Brown book.
    That's like having a choice between chewing a razor or one of your own teeth :)

    VIVA STEFANSEN

  • nickthegun 17 Mar 2013 18:39:19 55,866 posts
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    To be fair, if the books are anything like the films, I would take Dan Brown any day of the week over whatsherface. Twilight was absolutely nauseating.

    Gremmi is a big fan of tween fiction, so I bet hes read all of the twilights so he can make a fairer comparison.

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    He totally called it

  • RobTheBuilder 17 Mar 2013 18:41:55 6,521 posts
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    @Steve_Perry in fact, I would rather read "Vizzini's History of the Cell Processor and It's Future Benefits for Mankind."

    #threadcrossover
  • Deleted user 17 March 2013 18:44:37
    I am pleased to say that I have never so much as taken a Twilight novel off the shelf (except to get it the fuck off our bookcases when rearranging, anyway).
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