STOP PRESS! New Dan Brown book on the way! Page 5

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  • Deleted user 21 April 2009 11:09:54
    In my case, as bad as Angels and Demons.
  • nickthegun 21 Apr 2009 11:11:00 55,849 posts
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    At least you understood the story in this one.

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    He totally called it

  • StarchildHypocrethes 21 Apr 2009 11:11:42 24,559 posts
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    The only book I've actually had to stop reading is Seven Ancient Wonders by Matthew Reilly.

    It was them all being saved from a rockfall by his pet eagle that pushed me over the edge.
  • Stickman 21 Apr 2009 11:14:38 29,406 posts
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    In a way then, I'm pleased that I'm a literary dullard because I can read these quite easily without stopping at the end of every page for a tut.

    The odd thing about Dan Brown/James Patterson/et al books is that I can read them, then immediately not be able to recount anything about them but the most basic plot outline. It's essentially autopilot reading for the poolside that you can have a few beers with, take a little swim, then pick up where you left off, safe in the knowledge that you could even have missed a whole chapter without it mattering.

    THIS SPACE FOR RENT

  • Deleted user 21 April 2009 11:15:24
    I got through Angels & Demons and DVC, though only so I could then bitch about them with the full knowledge of how shite they are. :)

    Didn't get through the second Fiona McIntosh book I mentioned earlier. It was off the scale bad. You know, where characters just suddenly change their mind or allegiance because the writer suddenly needed them to. Where characterisation was always explained for you because the writer couldn't write people who displayed those traits. Shame, the central idea was quite neat - but then once McIntosh just ignored the rules she'd set up for the whole story I just threw it away.
  • nickthegun 21 Apr 2009 11:16:09 55,849 posts
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    In that case, you would be better off reading the beano and/or Razzle.

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    He totally called it

  • PearOfAnguish 21 Apr 2009 11:16:43 6,989 posts
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    StarchildHypocrethes wrote:
    It was them all being saved from a rockfall by his pet eagle that pushed me over the edge.

    Not sure I've got to that part yet. I'm stuck at the bit with the Nazi sub in the cavern filled with Indiana Jones style booby traps.

    The main character is great, he's got a metal arm because he put his hand in lava.
  • pjmaybe 21 Apr 2009 11:17:01 70,676 posts
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    I like Dan Brown's narrative style. 2 chapters to open a door.

  • LeoliansBro 21 Apr 2009 11:17:28 41,864 posts
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    These are fucking awful stories with wafer thin plots and gaping holes in plausibility, told badly by a jobbing hack with delusions of grandeur, and eclipsed by virtually everything else available. You don't need to be some literary luminary to see that.

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • Stickman 21 Apr 2009 11:18:07 29,406 posts
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    nickthegun wrote:
    In that case, you would be better off reading the beano and/or Razzle.

    They might get wet next to the pool. Also, I don't want to read Razzle while wearing my Speedo.

    THIS SPACE FOR RENT

  • LeoliansBro 21 Apr 2009 11:18:17 41,864 posts
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    Although I've not read this Reilly chap.

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • nickthegun 21 Apr 2009 11:18:27 55,849 posts
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    I wish I could write as badly as Dan 'Millionaire Playboy' Brown....

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    He totally called it

  • StarchildHypocrethes 21 Apr 2009 11:19:16 24,559 posts
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    Leolian'sBro wrote:
    These are fucking awful stories with wafer thin plots and gaping holes in plausibility, told badly by a jobbing hack with delusions of grandeur, and eclipsed by virtually everything else available. You don't need to be some literary luminary to see that.
    At the same time though, they're quite enjoyable yarns.
  • LeoliansBro 21 Apr 2009 11:19:22 41,864 posts
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    Success =/= integrity, or ability. Right place at the right time and all that.

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • LeoliansBro 21 Apr 2009 11:19:59 41,864 posts
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    StarchildHypocrethes wrote:
    Leolian'sBro wrote:
    These are fucking awful stories with wafer thin plots and gaping holes in plausibility, told badly by a jobbing hack with delusions of grandeur, and eclipsed by virtually everything else available. You don't need to be some literary luminary to see that.
    At the same time though, they're quite enjoyable yarns.
    Read Foucault's Pendulum if you like this sort of thing, seriously.

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • StarchildHypocrethes 21 Apr 2009 11:20:43 24,559 posts
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    Maybe I will! :)
  • Retroid Moderator 21 Apr 2009 11:20:58 44,501 posts
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    StarchildHypocrethes wrote:
    The only book I've actually had to stop reading is Seven Ancient Wonders by Matthew Reilly.

    It was them all being saved from a rockfall by his pet eagle that pushed me over the edge.
    Were you in turn rescued by your pet albatross?
  • nickthegun 21 Apr 2009 11:21:10 55,849 posts
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    Stickman wrote:
    nickthegun wrote:
    In that case, you would be better off reading the beano and/or Razzle.

    They might get wet next to the pool.

    Such a big fan you laminate his books, huh?

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    He totally called it

  • PearOfAnguish 21 Apr 2009 11:21:14 6,989 posts
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    There are loads of fun, light, holiday novels which don't read as though the author was just slamming his face into the keyboard. Choose one of them instead.
  • StarchildHypocrethes 21 Apr 2009 11:23:00 24,559 posts
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    No.
  • nickthegun 21 Apr 2009 11:23:05 55,849 posts
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    I read Queen of the Damned or whatever the fuck its called when we went to thailand once.

    Now thats light, pulpy reading.

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    He totally called it

  • Deleted user 21 April 2009 11:23:34
    Leolian'sBro wrote:
    Although I've not read this Reilly chap.

    His actual use of English isn't too bad really - unlike Brown. Which enabled me to read a few of his books.

    It's just that (a) His stories are one long dumb action sequence, (b) Half of what he writes is clearly complete bullshit (actually more like 95%).

    Imagine someone narrated to you someone playing Gears of War and Metal Gear Solid - with special focus on the military hardware. Or perhaps Tom Clancy with all the action sequences cut and pasted together.

    Completely bonkers really. Ice Station seems to have a billion different insane stunts in it that would stretch even Michael Bay's incredulity. Though he'd be the man to direct. The shit hack.
  • smoothpete 21 Apr 2009 11:24:35 31,017 posts
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    Think I might read some Reilly now actually
  • StarchildHypocrethes 21 Apr 2009 11:24:47 24,559 posts
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    Ice Station was excellent in a completely ridiculous way :)
  • Retroid Moderator 21 Apr 2009 11:25:27 44,501 posts
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    RichardDawkins wrote:
    Completely bonkers really. Ice Station seems to have a billion different insane stunts in it that would stretch even Michael Bay's incredulity. Though he'd be the man to direct. The shit hack.
    Awesome :)
  • PearOfAnguish 21 Apr 2009 11:26:05 6,989 posts
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    RichardDawkins wrote:
    His actual use of English isn't too bad really - unlike Brown.

    Got to disagree with that, not only is his writing useless but the action sequences are peppered with italics to add emphasis. It's really annoying.
  • StarchildHypocrethes 21 Apr 2009 11:26:09 24,559 posts
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    smoothpete wrote:
    Think I might read some Reilly now actually
    Read the Scarecrow books first, Ice Station in particular, as they're actually pretty good in a hollywood blockbuster sort of way.
  • Deleted user 21 April 2009 11:26:39
    StarchildHypocrethes wrote:
    Ice Station was excellent in a completely ridiculous way :)

    Killer walrus FTUW!
  • StarchildHypocrethes 21 Apr 2009 11:27:17 24,559 posts
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    :D
  • pjmaybe 21 Apr 2009 11:27:43 70,676 posts
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    nickthegun wrote:
    I wish I could write as badly as Dan 'Millionaire Playboy' Brown....

    Ditto. I'd quite happily sell my artistic and authorial integrity for a shitload of cash
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