Match.com and Online Dating

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  • coojam 6 Dec 2008 13:03:57 625 posts
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    Has anybody had any experience of Match.com or online dating in general? I've been single for about 18 months now and am tired of "waiting for it to happen". I've recently finished studying an MA and have moved back to my home area and landed my ideal job, so I'm going to be settling down here again, but most of my friends have moved away so basically I'm working full time and don't get out much to meet new people.

    Online dating seems like a good way to do that, but I've never really done it before and am a bit resentful of having to pay to spark up my love life. I'm open minded enough to think that it could work, but I was just wondering whether people had had any luck or know anybody that has?
  • Genji 6 Dec 2008 13:13:28 19,689 posts
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    I'm using it right now. Pretty much in the same boat as you.

    ...it has its problems. Its "Daily 5" matchmaking thing seems to find "ideal matches for me" that are 10 years older than me, and who live at least 500km away.

    Most of the profiles I've seen are poorly written, like the girl put absolutely zero thought into writing a little bit about herself. And even when she does write stuff, it's stupid shit like "oh i don't know what to write here. i'm down to earth but i like to go out clubbing a bit lol". Not to mention the ones written in ALL CAPS.

    Oh, and I've been contacted by several camgirls looking for customers.

    That being said, I have talked to a couple of lovely ladies. Nothing has happened so far, but I've made more than a few friends on there.

    If you do join, though, do yourself a favor and put some god-damned effort into your profile.

    :-D
  • darkmorgado 6 Dec 2008 13:14:41 15,561 posts
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    I used match and it worked for me - was dubious about it but it turns out it's great.

    There's plenty of quite normal people on there in the same situation: end of a long relationship or moved somewhere new, too old for clubbing etc and looking for a better way to meet someone than bumping into randoms in a pub.

    As Harry says, it's just a way of getting into contact with someone new that you wouldn't have bumped into in real life. Just think of it as widening the net.

    Swap a couple of emails, have a chat on the phone and then meet up with ice already broken. Makes first dates much easier.

    Support the Mowgli Dirty Protest!

  • coojam 6 Dec 2008 13:35:03 625 posts
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    Fozzie_bear wrote:
    Just think of it as widening the net.

    No pun intended, I assume.

    Well this sounds all very positive, particularly for Harry, congratulations!

    I think I was mainly put off by friends I'd mentioned it to who said things along the lines of "Christ mate, you'll only meet crazy people on there" but then they're the ones in comfortable relationships and have been for years, so they don't quite realise what it's like being in a similar situation.
  • Deleted user 6 December 2008 13:39:05
    It may have once been the case that the only women you'd meet on the net looking for dating were likely to be ugly crazy goth gamer hags, these days it's a far more accepted way of 'networking' and finding someone that seems up your street and that you're attracted to. After all, the only other ways are meeting someone at work or meeting someone in a bar. Id' rather not date someone I work with (again) and I'm crapping useless at chatting women up in bars. I met my soon-to-be missus nearly three years ago via the casuals section in the Gumtree, when we were both recently single and after a quick shag! :D

  • Genji 6 Dec 2008 13:41:54 19,689 posts
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    coojam wrote:
    Fozzie_bear wrote:
    Just think of it as widening the net.

    No pun intended, I assume.

    Well this sounds all very positive, particularly for Harry, congratulations!

    I think I was mainly put off by friends I'd mentioned it to who said things along the lines of "Christ mate, you'll only meet crazy people on there" but then they're the ones in comfortable relationships and have been for years, so they don't quite realise what it's like being in a similar situation.
    Be a bit careful, though, especially when giving people your information. There are some crazy people on there.
  • johnny_death 6 Dec 2008 14:06:39 119 posts
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    Met and dated someone from myspace - Failed.
    Met and dated someone from facebook - Failed.

    So yeah, I'm not too high on internet dating myself, though trying to find someone in real life is proving equally, if not more challenging as well. :/
  • CosmicFuzz 6 Dec 2008 14:09:27 24,562 posts
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    MrED209 wrote:
    It may have once been the case that the only women you'd meet on the net looking for dating were likely to be ugly crazy goth gamer hags, these days it's a far more accepted way of 'networking' and finding someone that seems up your street and that you're attracted to. After all, the only other ways are meeting someone at work or meeting someone in a bar. Id' rather not date someone I work with (again) and I'm crapping useless at chatting women up in bars. I met my soon-to-be missus nearly three years ago via the casuals section in the Gumtree, when we were both recently single and after a quick shag! :D


    Owen, you are my hero! :D

    edit: And yeah, totally go for it. What have you got to lose? I agree that it's definitely lost that stigma it used to have. My mum's friend met her new partner online after her husband died, she wasn't up for sifting through randoms at the pub, etc.

    Best of luck :)

    Everyone knows Jack Thompson - but how did he become the game-blaming activist he is today? Read Part One of my new mini-series!

  • Genji 6 Dec 2008 14:13:59 19,689 posts
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    I think that - at least for Match.com - the chances of finding someone are a bit higher, because:

    a) Unlike Facebook and Myspace, it is specifically for people looking for a partner. Although I have seen my fair share of camgirls on there, most of the people there are looking for some sort of relationship.

    b) You have to pay for it. Some people still don't seem to care - maybe they just like throwing their money away - but most of the time the act of paying for something like this guarantees a basic level of commitment.
  • Red-Moose 6 Dec 2008 14:14:41 5,346 posts
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    Harry wrote:
    Don't think of it as dating online. Yes you may find someone that way, but it's just a way of meeting.

    I agree with this. The most obvious way to meet a lot of women at once is go to where they are most concentrated: a nightclub, bar, pub on a saturday evening.
  • jenguin 6 Dec 2008 14:17:02 152 posts
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    I married the girl I met through internet dating earlier this year. (yahoo personals it was).

    I did try a lot of different sites - and would advise to not use places like facebook and myspace, but a dedicated dating site like match, yahoo etc.

    The change of opinion in the 3 years since I met my wife has been huge - when we first told people we met on the net, it was usually met with either a sharp intake of breath of an incredulous look.

    Now - no-one gives a monkeys.
  • CosmicFuzz 6 Dec 2008 14:21:45 24,562 posts
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    "Oh how lovely it was to hear you got yourself a girl! Pray tell, how did you two meet?"
    "We met on the internet."
    "Oh I'm sorry dear, I just threw up a little in my mouth."

    Everyone knows Jack Thompson - but how did he become the game-blaming activist he is today? Read Part One of my new mini-series!

  • chopsen 6 Dec 2008 14:25:20 16,087 posts
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    :)

    Yes, you must meet the person you spend your life with in a smoke-filled darkened room where's impossible to hear each other talk, after having a few too many alcoholic drinks.

    FFS. I wouldn't buy a pair of trousers in that kind of situation, let alone chose a potential mate.
  • HarryB 6 Dec 2008 14:30:13 6,210 posts
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    workmates for me!
  • von_Doll 6 Dec 2008 14:52:15 2,107 posts
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    My best mate met his missus online. They're happy enough, although she really fucking annoys me. Bleuch!

    Which leads me to where I met my new girlfriend. Y'see, she was a sexy freelance assassin advertising on this website I stumbled across...



  • coojam 6 Dec 2008 15:47:52 625 posts
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    HarryB wrote:
    workmates for me!

    That doesn't really work for me... despite the fact I work for a company that employs hundreds of people on campus, it's a games company, so it's like 95% male and I imagine the 5% of women get so tired of the usual suspects...
  • coojam 6 Dec 2008 17:05:15 625 posts
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    Well, I've just signed up for match.com and paid the 20+ subscription for a month to see how it goes. Hopefully I don't sound like too much of a wanker in my profile, will have to see what happens!
  • Foregone-Reality 6 Dec 2008 17:09:38 2,218 posts
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    Coojam. You should really remove the part about you going "out pimpin fo some hoz". ;)
  • Red-Moose 6 Dec 2008 17:17:42 5,346 posts
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    Harry wrote:


    If you're a bloke on a Christian dating site believe me you are absolutely spoilt for choice.

    I thought I was the only one to realise this!!!

    Delete it or the secret will be ruined!
  • coojam 6 Dec 2008 17:26:13 625 posts
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    Harry wrote:
    There are lots of good free datings sites too. But they tend to have a niche. I met my wife on a Christian dating site.

    These things are hugely popular and there's a simple reason. Blokes don't go to church. Churches up and down the land are chock full of lasses and they've got no blokes to chase after.

    If you're a bloke on a Christian dating site believe me you are absolutely spoilt for choice.

    I'm guessing that you were there because you have a belief in the Christian faith too... otherwise it just sounded like you only went there for one reason! (Though to be fair, I guess that could be it too!)

    Don't worry, I won't share the secret or abuse it either. I'd never pretend to be something I'm not.

    It's like 10 a month if you sign up for 6 months (and that's the option where you get 6 months free if you don't find anyone in the first 6) or there's the option for 3 months too I think. To be honest, what's 20. It's enough to judge whether you're gonna like it, best case is you meet someone, worst case is you don't. I've blown more than 20 on a shit curry before.
  • Deleted user 6 December 2008 17:30:59
    Red Moose wrote:
    Harry wrote:
    Don't think of it as dating online. Yes you may find someone that way, but it's just a way of meeting.

    I agree with this. The most obvious way to meet a lot of women at once is go to where they are most concentrated: a nightclub, bar, pub on a saturday evening.

    This sounds like advice for a game hunter.
  • HarryB 6 Dec 2008 17:34:32 6,210 posts
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    coojam wrote:
    HarryB wrote:
    workmates for me!

    That doesn't really work for me... despite the fact I work for a company that employs hundreds of people on campus, it's a games company, so it's like 95% male and I imagine the 5% of women get so tired of the usual suspects...

    fair enough, I work at B&Q so there's all ages and pretty equal mix of the sexes!
  • coojam 6 Dec 2008 17:40:54 625 posts
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    Harry wrote:
    I shared the faith yes - and for the other reason. :)

    But it amazing how many really gorgeous Christian girls can't get a man. Not because there's anything wrong with them, but because of the church population.

    1, Because while there may be the same numbers of male and female Christians, it's the girls that are more into church. And because of this the church is getting more girly, which is further alienating men. It's a huge problem for the church right now.
    2, The blokes who do go to church are sappy gits who are more than likely to be rubbish in bed. (So quite a few Christian girls have told me) :)

    I had a couple of girly friends who were big church goers, but I know they didn't put out (sorry, that makes me sound terrible, but hey ho), so I'm surprised that they'd find out that these guys are rubbish in bed. They were strictly no sex before marriage girls.

    I'd actually really like to meet someone that was into their faith, particularly someone who had strong morals, but I'd worry that they'd pressure me into it or that they wouldn't be open minded enough to even consider me if I didn't conform. I mean I am Christian, but I don't practice and I don't know whether I believe in God, but I'd never say either way whether he did or didn't exist. I sway more towards "he does" but in a "he's an all powerful 'alien' that created all we know" rather than the Adam and Eve sense. That didn't make much sense, but my point is it almost feels as though religion can be a full stop before anything has even begun.

    This thread got serious.
  • repairmanjack 6 Dec 2008 17:51:55 6,053 posts
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    coojam wrote:I'd actually really like to meet someone that was into their faith, particularly someone who had strong morals

    ...and who wasn't a terrorist. GSoH ain't gonna save that one.
  • repairmanjack 6 Dec 2008 17:53:15 6,053 posts
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    For what it's worth, the hottie at work I was drooling over a few weeks ago, recently told me she met her bloke through one of these online agencies.
  • daithi90 6 Dec 2008 18:31:54 3,283 posts
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    I'm searching through my bookmarks for a link to Single Muslim.
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