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The Worst Christmas Present Thread

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  • tincanrocket 2 Dec 2008 13:50:37 2,618 posts
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    Had a search and no similar threads I could find, so sorry if this is old.

    Anyway, to cut to the chase, here's where to list the worst christmas presents you have received (or given).

    The worst I've ever had was when visiting my ex-wife's family. I wouldn't say I was the greatest buyer and wrapper of presents, but I'd made an effort, and tried to wrap all my gifts neatly and so on. So, we're all sitting around, handing out presents, when I get my selection handed to me by my father-in-law...

    I begin to unwrap each of the hastily-wrapped packages, my heart sinking with each one I open and each fake smile and thank you I have to mouth... my 'presents' included: pseudo-leather driving gloves, a box of travel sweets, and one of those sodding pine tree car air-fresheners. Guess who'd gone to the 24 hour garage to get my presents?

    /bah humbug
  • pjmaybe 2 Dec 2008 13:53:02 70,678 posts
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    A jumper. With one green sleeve, one purple one, and a big red questionmark on the front.

    Home knit.

    Wasn't quite sure how to take it but I had to wear it for a couple of days to "say thanks"

    Other than that, the plethora of fucking atrocious simpsons-based shite I get every fucking year and have done since the Simpsons started being on merchandise as diverse as pairs of pants to feminine hygiene products.
  • smugla 2 Dec 2008 13:54:00 1,954 posts
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    Man flu
  • Spanky 2 Dec 2008 13:54:33 14,408 posts
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    Flatout 360... i didn't have a 360.

    So not that bad tbh, all i want is a selection box with jelly tots in it.

    Plubs

  • mcmonkeyplc 2 Dec 2008 13:54:34 35,847 posts
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    Nothing.

    Come and get it cumslingers!

  • Angel_Treats 2 Dec 2008 13:58:11 11,072 posts
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    I can't think of anything really bad, but every year my mum buys Rutty Lynx deodorant and some sort of comedy socks (I think last year's were the Simpsons). Oh and he got some cufflinks. He wears a shirt possibly twice a year and the cufflinks looked like the Windows logo.

    One year when I was very very young I remember taking an aftershave gift set that my dad already owned, wrapping it up ad giving it to him for Christmas. I've been trying to make up for that one for years :D
  • White_Shadow 2 Dec 2008 13:59:44 2,512 posts
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    coal.
  • tincanrocket 2 Dec 2008 14:01:19 2,618 posts
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    Angel_Treats wrote: some cufflinks. He wears a shirt possibly twice a year and the cufflinks looked like the Windows logo.
    Classic :D I'd actually be quite taken by some Windows, Linux and Apple logo cufflinks/geeklinks

    /nerd
  • glaeken 2 Dec 2008 14:09:00 10,366 posts
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    I got a VHS tape of the the old BBC series the Rock and Roll years for the year 1973 from an ex girlfriend. I was actually fairly dumbfounded when I opened it as I had no idea where she got the idea that would be something I would like and I was lost for words when it came to saying anything positive about it.

    I got her a leather jacket she had been after so in light of that a £5 VHS tape of something I had never shown any interest in did seem a bit shit.

  • CosmicFuzz 2 Dec 2008 15:32:58 18,810 posts
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    glaeken wrote:
    I got a VHS tape of the the old BBC series the Rock and Roll years for the year 1973 from an ex girlfriend. I was actually fairly dumbfounded when I opened it as I had no idea where she got the idea that would be something I would like and I was lost for words when it came to saying anything positive about it.

    I got her a leather jacket she had been after so in light of that a £5 VHS tape of something I had never shown any interest in did seem a bit shit.
    Haha, that's hilarious! Was this the reason you broke up? ;)
  • PinkSpider 2 Dec 2008 15:36:17 3,341 posts
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    Angel_Treats wrote:
    I can't think of anything really bad, but every year my mum buys Rutty Lynx deodorant and some sort of comedy socks (I think last year's were the Simpsons). Oh and he got some cufflinks. He wears a shirt possibly twice a year and the cufflinks looked like the Windows logo.
    Minus the cufflinks sounds very familiar.

    I got an FCUK set and some Simpsons socks last year.

    Use them but still..
  • Caspar_Esq. 2 Dec 2008 15:46:09 3,274 posts
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    I'm impossible to buy stuff for so these days I insist on something very personal, pre-requested or just cash.

    I can't think of many uber-crap presents though, I guess I always have suitably diminished expectations so I'm not disappointed.
  • Master_Miller 2 Dec 2008 15:53:14 1,642 posts
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    Once I got my family ice lollies for Christmas.
  • the_dudefather 2 Dec 2008 16:09:13 8,120 posts
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    Master_Miller wrote:
    Once I got my family ice lollies for Christmas.
    they must been hard to wrap

    Ask me anything about Dungeon Keeper

  • bauhaus 2 Dec 2008 16:16:04 3,510 posts
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    I was once given a book on the Letters of Jack The Ripper, from my mother in law.

    Didnt know how to react, hate all that crime/murderer/mystery shit as well.

    never even opened it.
  • rudedudejude 2 Dec 2008 16:20:56 1,880 posts
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    I got a can of shaving gel off my ex's mum.

    Mach 3 shaving gel. LOL. I didn't know what to say!
  • Fizzog 2 Dec 2008 16:23:12 4,108 posts
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    Not technically a 'present' but one year are old dog left a fresh 'gift' shall we say under the tree, or maybe santaclause had eaten too many mince pies..
  • Nexus_6 2 Dec 2008 16:36:30 3,505 posts
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    i got a ticket to this - i am excited!
  • bauhaus 2 Dec 2008 16:44:11 3,510 posts
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    Nexus 6 wrote:
    i got a ticket to this - i am excited!
    I`ll swap that for a book on The Letters of Jack The Ripper
  • LeoliansBro 2 Dec 2008 16:49:50 35,099 posts
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    My mum got me a spoon once.


    ...


    ...


    a spoon FFS.

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • JuanKerr 2 Dec 2008 16:52:09 35,451 posts
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    I like to confuse shop attendants by buying wrapping paper and asking them to gift wrap it for me.
  • pjmaybe 2 Dec 2008 16:53:25 70,678 posts
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    I remember getting a Donald Duck watercolour set from my stepdad's gran.

    I was 19 at the time.

    I think I still used it though. To paint a big sign saying "ALCOHOL NEXT CHRISTMAS PLEASE, YOU OLD SOW"
  • Deleted user 2 December 2008 16:53:43
    So wait


    LB spoons with his mum?
  • rudedudejude 2 Dec 2008 16:54:46 1,880 posts
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    There is no spoon.

    Didn't your mum ever tell you that?
  • jonsaan 2 Dec 2008 16:55:20 24,219 posts
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    My wife's Nan was capable of the most amazing pressies to me. She once gave me a pair of socks that had not been finished inside, as in none of the threads had been tied off. Must have been seconds or something as they literally fell apart in your hands:)

    She also gave me a 3/4 length girls white wool crop top once:)

    God rest her soul.

    FCUTA!

  • Dougs 2 Dec 2008 16:57:19 59,089 posts
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    My mate once got a rug with an elephant on for his bedroom. Just what every 16 year old lad wants. In fairness, he did wrap their presents (socks for all) in tinfoil after we got in at 3am Christmas morning.
  • TheSaint 2 Dec 2008 16:59:26 11,601 posts
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    My girlfriends nan once got me a Star Trek video even though I have never been a fan or even owned a VHS player any more. More worryingly though the same year she also got me a pair of socks that said 'Sexy Legs' wasn't sure what to make of that.
  • pjmaybe 2 Dec 2008 17:00:23 70,678 posts
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    better than getting a pair of socks that said "tiny penis"

    Or "Mowgli's girlfriend was a better lay"
  • Nipples 2 Dec 2008 17:03:15 2,769 posts
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    Not a Xmas present, but it reminded me of this. I moved into a flat just before my 21st birthday. I had a Great Aunt who I used to get a few pound in a card every year, but this year she had heard I'd moved into a flat and wanted to get me something. I'd never had a present from her before ever, and was intrigued to find this small parcel when my Dad came up with presents from the family. I hurriedly tore the pack open to find a small box of wooden clothes pegs. I was on a first floor flat with no washing line....I didn't even have a washing machine. Worst....present....ever!

    Never ever bloody anything ever....

  • von_Doll 2 Dec 2008 17:10:18 2,072 posts
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    She must've heard about all those S&M orgies you had planned with your new found independence, Nipples

    Yes dear, I'm linking your new website everwhere I go. see - www.alldogsgotoerinn.com

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