Snippets of Overheard Conversations Thread Page 3

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  • darkmorgado 23 Jan 2009 06:05:59 15,585 posts
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    Some bloke in an office yesterday (sounded like the voiceover bloke from Big Brother which made it funnier):

    "We was in the Everglades but they wouldn't let us in because of all the mosquitos. They can strip a fully grown horse."

    Support the Mowgli Dirty Protest!

  • rutter 27 Jan 2009 09:00:57 1,919 posts
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    Walking in to the gym changing rooms yesterday I overheard two placement students talking....

    Student 1: "When the horse ejaculated in her it killed her"
    Student 2: "What, she blew up!?"
    Student 1: "Nah, it ruined her insides and she died"

    Can't beat a bit of beastiality chat in the showers! o_O
  • JuanKerr 27 Jan 2009 10:59:28 36,416 posts
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    I think I've seen a video of that on the internet.

    /mind rubber
  • catterz 27 Jan 2009 11:03:05 8,763 posts
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    Jesus, everyone knows you're supposed to wank the horse off first.

    Still stalking this place, old-school style (UID: 1053)

  • opalw00t 27 Jan 2009 11:19:35 11,247 posts
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    Girl passing in street to friend: "Well, he is my surrogate boyfriend..."

    Which confused me a bit.

    The day charity died - NEVER FORGET

    (the mic was OK in the end)

  • neonemesis 27 Jan 2009 11:33:04 1,640 posts
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    rutter wrote:
    Walking in to the gym changing rooms yesterday I overheard two placement students talking....

    Student 1: "When the horse ejaculated in her it killed her"
    Student 2: "What, she blew up!?"
    Student 1: "Nah, it ruined her insides and she died"

    Can't beat a bit of beastiality chat in the showers! o_O

    I've heard that one before back in secondary school from some kid who thought it was acted like it was his duty to tell everyone stories like this.
  • Deleted user 27 January 2009 11:58:05
    Overheard in ASDA the other day:

    "Are these lemons real or do you suppose they grew them?"
  • Lexx87 27 Jan 2009 12:08:03 20,863 posts
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    Gremmi wrote:
    Overheard in ASDA the other day:

    "Are these lemons real or do you suppose they grew them?"

    Haha!

    Speak the truth hussy!

  • MrSensible 27 Jan 2009 12:56:56 25,290 posts
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    In Forbidden Planet:

    A: "Ah, X-Men. Look, it's Wolverine."
    B: "Wolverine? The one who shoots laser beams?"

    I don't even like X-Men, at all, but I did lol.
  • JediMasterMalik 27 Jan 2009 13:18:49 11,820 posts
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    disc wrote:
    At the office just now.


    "Dawn of War 2!"

    Niiiice!
  • Psychotext 30 Jan 2009 17:36:07 54,791 posts
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    "...and nuts in each cheek"
  • guts 31 Jan 2009 13:50:08 1,690 posts
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    'I just had to empty Mikes sacks.....'
    Heard at work today, employee refering to desposng of the company owners garden waste.

    Whassamattayou, whyoulookasosad, itsanicaplace, itsanotsobad, heyshaddupayourface.

  • bainbrge 31 Jan 2009 13:54:29 1,687 posts
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    rutter wrote:
    Walking in to the gym changing rooms yesterday I overheard two placement students talking....

    Student 1: "When the horse ejaculated in her it killed her"
    Student 2: "What, she blew up!?"
    Student 1: "Nah, it ruined her insides and she died"

    Can't beat a bit of beastiality chat in the showers! o_O

    it's that urban legend about how Catherine the Great died.
  • LeoliansBro 13 Feb 2009 15:00:09 44,723 posts
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    The twat opposite me at work on the phone

    Shit multiplied by shit is still shit, right?

    WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • pjmaybe 13 Feb 2009 15:00:59 70,676 posts
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    I think it means he ordered too much manure for his roses...or too little. I'm unsure.
  • Lexx87 2 Mar 2009 14:46:53 20,863 posts
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    Female: "...i've got very strong pelvic muscles yeah.."

    Male: "...what you do is urinate and stop, urinate and stop..."

    Female "...lie on the floor and lift your legs high"

    WTF

    Speak the truth hussy!

  • cubbymoore 2 Mar 2009 14:48:59 36,503 posts
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    It's like if Beckett had written Sex and the City.
  • LeoliansBro 2 Mar 2009 14:49:08 44,723 posts
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    Leolian'sBro wrote:
    The twat opposite me at work on the phone

    Shit multiplied by shit is still shit, right?

    WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!
    Same twat:

    What's the story in Balamory mate?

    He must be killed.

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • neilka 2 Mar 2009 15:17:03 16,447 posts
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    Leolian'sBro wrote:
    Same twat:

    What's the story in Balamory mate?

    He must be killed.
    Preferably while screaming "WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW?!?!" at the top of your lungs.

    BAAANG!!!!! EXPLOTION!!!!!

  • smoothpete 7 May 2009 09:07:25 31,695 posts
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    "and all of a sudden this sick came over my shoulder, all down my hair and my back"
  • DavetheDave 7 May 2009 10:55:13 1,391 posts
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    smoothpete wrote:
    "and all of a sudden this sick came over my shoulder, all down my hair and my back"

    You've been overhearing Mick Hucknall? o_O
  • mad_caddy 7 May 2009 11:11:25 3,306 posts
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    I heard this yesterday between a young lad and his girly friend.
    he said: "if you can't get it up quick we'll lop it off"

    perhaps a bit harsh and on a the street corner as well O_o
  • Tonka 7 May 2009 11:25:16 21,131 posts
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    "Guess what I got in the mail today!?"

    If you can read this you really need to fiddle with your forum settings.

  • pistol 7 May 2009 13:23:07 13,019 posts
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    On a business trip to Amsterdam last year, we went for a walk round the red light district. Overheard one middle-aged guy negotiating with a hooker at one of the doors and he asked if his mate could watch. Both were probably over 50. Obviously you'd expect those sorts of conversations to go on but it was funny to hear. I was wiith a middle-aged women at the time so it was all the more funny.
  • smoothpete 14 May 2009 13:58:48 31,695 posts
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    "... I had this headache for 48 hours, you know when it's so bad that you can't move or it hurts, and it was making me feel sick so in the end I had one paracetemol"

    /joey
  • sport 14 May 2009 14:52:15 12,798 posts
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    Went to Costa on Tuesday with my little one. On previous visits I've seen the same 2 ladies sitting at the same table with a bunch of cards scattered around - no big deal. On Tuesday I had a peak as I walked past and noticed they were tarot cards, so I "conveniently" find nearby spot and go about introducing mini-me to a Babycino (sp).

    Anyway, it turns out the 1 lady is a reader, the other, her client. The "advice" that stood out the most for me was the reader telling her client that she should make many small investments. The client then says, "ok, so I'll buy 4 smaller properties instead of just the 1".

    o_O

  • Alastair 14 May 2009 16:29:02 16,245 posts
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    Maybe she was about to start a game of Monopoly.
  • Paperghost 14 May 2009 16:42:24 1,702 posts
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    I heard this one ages ago when Burger King were doing their King Kong tie-in.

    “Yes mate?”

    “I’d like you to kong my whopper, please”.

    “Eh?”

    “Kong my whopper?”

    “What?”

    “Eh?”

    ”..er…”

    “Like that, down there? On the poster? You can kong my whopper…”

    “…what’s a kong?”

    “………….cheeseburger please”.
  • StarchildHypocrethes 14 May 2009 16:46:32 26,339 posts
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    What the hell is a Babycino?
  • Deleted user 14 May 2009 16:47:27
    They're those little cheeses aren't they
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