Snippets of Overheard Conversations Thread Page 17

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  • w00t 5 Nov 2012 10:01:40 10,976 posts
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    In the supermarket, following a husband and wife:

    "... and then you wouldn't believe what Alice turned up wearing - you aren't listening! Why won't you make conversation?"

    "Well, if you want to discuss the political situation in Burma, I'm all ears."

    The day charity died - NEVER FORGET

    (the mic was OK in the end)

  • Psychotext 5 Nov 2012 11:18:24 52,778 posts
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    Ha, I know that feeling. :D
  • Arrit 5 Nov 2012 12:29:47 410 posts
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    Mother and Grandmother in the supermarket

    "Put that back mum, you're not buying him any more Elvis"

    "But he likes it!"

    "I don't care. He's 13, I'd rather he listen to that gangster shit instead."
  • the_dudefather 5 Nov 2012 12:38:58 8,976 posts
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    dr_swin wrote:
    "So he ran upstairs, desperately trying to outrun his wifi signal, because he had mistakenly sent a photo of his balls to his daughter instead of his wife".
    Is that in someone's Novemeber novel thing?

    because it needs to be

    (ง ͠ ͟ʖ ͡)

  • Lutz 5 Nov 2012 12:53:37 48,854 posts
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    senso-ji wrote:
    Walking into the office, two air-con engineers walk past me, one says to the other:

    "I hate this job. Wish I was one of them animals with the big tusks that you see on' tellie"
    Winnar!
  • Lutz 5 Nov 2012 12:58:40 48,854 posts
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    dr_swin wrote:
    "So he ran upstairs, desperately trying to outrun his wifi signal, because he had mistakenly sent a photo of his balls to his daughter instead of his wife".
    Nope, that's the winner
  • dr_swin 5 Nov 2012 12:59:53 4,824 posts
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    @dude_father

    If only...
  • fletch7100 8 Nov 2012 11:09:49 6,167 posts
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    Overheard phone conversation at Andover train station

    " it's like getting Tony Blair to smuggle ice cream into your freezer"
  • Deleted user 12 November 2012 21:45:58
    Not exactly a conversation, but the people who live above us just had particularly energetic sex.
  • ResidentKnievel 12 Nov 2012 21:49:15 5,876 posts
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    Maybe it was geese fighting

    [code]Armoured_Bear wrote:
    Unlike yourself, I don't have a weird obsession with any platform.[/code]

  • jellyhead 12 Nov 2012 21:53:36 24,350 posts
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    Kick them in their necks!

    This signature intentionally left blank.

  • Deleted user 12 November 2012 22:01:49
    Our front window is side-on to the path to their door. I'm going to give them a raised eyebrow and a knowing nod next time they walk past.
  • Load_2.0 12 Nov 2012 22:07:51 18,196 posts
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    jellyhead wrote:
    Kick them in their necks!
    Benchpress them.

  • ResidentKnievel 12 Nov 2012 22:09:09 5,876 posts
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    meme wrote:
    Our front window is side-on to the path to their door. I'm going to give them a raised eyebrow and a knowing nod next time they walk past.
    I'm not sure Geese understand subtle human gestures

    [code]Armoured_Bear wrote:
    Unlike yourself, I don't have a weird obsession with any platform.[/code]

  • skuzzbag 12 Nov 2012 22:14:11 5,483 posts
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    He's just going to have a gander at them.
  • RobTheBuilder 22 Nov 2012 01:59:35 6,521 posts
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    Heard today...

    "How come I have never been taken up the Oxo tower by a guy?
    Michelle has been taken up it by two guys."

    Edited by RobTheBuilder at 01:59:51 22-11-2012
  • Kostabi 24 Nov 2012 20:15:38 4,661 posts
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    Some drama student on the bus talking to some dude.

    Girl: "so it starts with a monologue from Bill Hicks, have you heard of him?"

    Guy: "No, who's that?"

    Girl: "I'm not totally sure but he's an American comedian... I think."

    Nothing like knowing your sources.
  • monkehhh 25 Nov 2012 17:58:34 3,128 posts
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    "31 and you don't have kids?! You need to start shooting your load into birds mate."
  • Dave_McCoy 26 Nov 2012 11:35:58 2,739 posts
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    monkehhh wrote:
    "31 and you don't have kids?! You need to start shooting your load into birds mate."
    Uh oh...I'm 31 and have no kids! Wish I had that guy to tell me where I was going wrong!
  • Psychotext 26 Nov 2012 12:06:43 52,778 posts
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    Dubious.
  • elephantjuice 4 Dec 2012 16:48:10 554 posts
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    I was on the train the other day sat adjacent to a family, when the mother came out with possibly the most middle class sentence I think I've ever heard in my life when she turned to her 7/8 year old daughter and said "Tabatha', I hope you're not getting hummus on the ipad".
  • Psychotext 4 Dec 2012 17:23:39 52,778 posts
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    :D
  • oceanmotion 4 Dec 2012 17:41:22 15,243 posts
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    I heard a good one similar to that in a coffee shop, kid wanted ice cream after his lunch and the mother said no, you'll be getting your cheese board when you get home.
  • RabidChild 4 Dec 2012 18:23:16 2,283 posts
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    I heard another similar one in the supermarket when a kid, trying to be helpful, handed his mum some dried pasta. His mum snapped 'Jonathon, you know daddy will only eat fresh pasta - put it back!'.
  • ZuluHero 4 Dec 2012 23:37:10 3,663 posts
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    Passed a guy with his friend shouting up at a woman in a 1st floor flat begging to be let in. He had a 2L bottle of white lightning or something and clearly off his face.

    "Go on..let me in!"
    "No. Way. That's the last time I let you treat me like that. Now fuck off!"
    "But I was on my best behaviour last night! I only hit you twice..."

    ...
  • Psychotext 4 Dec 2012 23:40:50 52,778 posts
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    O_o
  • smoothpete 17 Dec 2012 08:25:46 31,017 posts
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    Overheard from staff in Morrisons

    "He's shagging Cathy from customer services"

    "which one is she?"

    "The short, grumpy one with the massive tits. He's got a big one according to her"
  • Lexx87 17 Dec 2012 08:43:48 20,869 posts
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    Three 14 yr olds on the way to school:

    "You get the white cream and rub it all over your face, it's great for your skin I love it even though it's a bit sticky"

    Speak the truth hussy!

  • EMarkM 17 Dec 2012 09:56:40 3,133 posts
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    Again, heard on the bus, young girl travelling on her first day at work:-

    I've got to get up at six! I've got to do my make up on the bus. Imagine me with my eyeliner; I'll have lines all over my eyeballs...
  • sport 14 Jan 2013 10:19:47 12,045 posts
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    In the company breakout area alone getting some water when 2 young ladies walk in:

    Girl 1: I hate being cold...
    Girl 2: Me too. Used 3 blankets last night, but I couldn't sleep coz I was having nightmares.
    Girl 1: Awwww, noooo...
    Girl 2: Yeah, we were playing with the ouija board but we didn't finish it so the spirits didn't leave. I was, like, no way I'm getting sleep tonight.


    I'm not making this up.
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