Snippets of Overheard Conversations Thread Page 16

  • Page

    of 23 First / Last

  • smoothpete 20 Aug 2012 11:29:23 31,719 posts
    Seen 31 seconds ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    "... then he'd look like Leyla from Star Trek"
  • smoothpete 27 Aug 2012 10:11:31 31,719 posts
    Seen 31 seconds ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    Genuinely heard a seriously rough looking guy say this to a girl last week on my road:

    "I'll go home and get my blades and fucking do him now"

    Then the police arrived! Yay!
  • sport 27 Aug 2012 10:31:17 12,798 posts
    Seen 13 hours ago
    Registered 9 years ago
    smoothpete wrote:
    Genuinely heard a seriously rough looking guy say this to a girl last week on my road:

    "I'll go home and get my blades and fucking do him now"

    Then the police arrived! Yay!
    He challenged him to a skate-off? Niiiice!
  • PazJohnMitch 31 Aug 2012 16:24:24 8,623 posts
    Seen 17 minutes ago
    Registered 7 years ago
    'There are too many Chardonnays.'
    (Chav girls talking about what to name the girl one of them was pregnant with).

    'You need to learn proper pronunciation, innit'.
    (Annoying coworker complaining about German colleagues accent).
  • smoothpete 17 Sep 2012 21:04:08 31,719 posts
    Seen 31 seconds ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    "I weigh 2 kilos more in the morning. It must be shit."
  • Lukus 17 Sep 2012 21:10:20 19,366 posts
    Seen 5 hours ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    That's an awful lot of shit.

    Paintings & Photographs

  • LockeTribal 3 Oct 2012 15:49:42 4,532 posts
    Seen 4 hours ago
    Registered 7 years ago
    At tea-break this morning in the office, my boss:

    "There was this one young fella causing a lot of trouble in the area a few years ago, so a group of us formed a lynching party. We caught him, brought him out to the middle of nowhere, stripped him naked, tied him up and left him there for the night. Never had any trouble from him since."

    A colleague: "What age was he?"

    Boss: "Oh, 11 or 12 or around that."
  • Psychotext 3 Oct 2012 16:00:55 54,822 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    Call da po-leece
  • smoothpete 17 Oct 2012 10:58:49 31,719 posts
    Seen 31 seconds ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    "no-one told me to use the tool, just to avoid the double entry"
  • Kostabi 17 Oct 2012 19:39:14 5,023 posts
    Seen 5 hours ago
    Registered 9 years ago
    "...so they ended up living together and she walked in on him masturbating to pictures of cats..."

    That got my attention on the bus from work, this was followed by how everyone in his college now calls him 'cat fucker'.
  • PhoenixFlames 17 Oct 2012 20:27:22 9,227 posts
    Seen 17 hours ago
    Registered 7 years ago
    LockeTribal wrote:
    At tea-break this morning in the office, my boss:

    "There was this one young fella causing a lot of trouble in the area a few years ago, so a group of us formed a lynching party. We caught him, brought him out to the middle of nowhere, stripped him naked, tied him up and left him there for the night. Never had any trouble from him since."

    A colleague: "What age was he?"

    Boss: "Oh, 11 or 12 or around that."
    That'll learn him.

    PSN - phoenix1flames

  • elstoof 17 Oct 2012 20:31:01 8,098 posts
    Seen 3 hours ago
    Registered 9 years ago
    Kostabi wrote:
    "...so they ended up living together and she walked in on him masturbating to pictures of cats..."

    That got my attention on the bus from work, this was followed by how everyone in his college now calls him 'cat fucker'.
    Could have been Cheetarah, that's valid. Benefit of the doubt and all that.
  • PazJohnMitch 17 Oct 2012 23:34:03 8,623 posts
    Seen 17 minutes ago
    Registered 7 years ago
    Kostabi wrote:
    "...so they ended up living together and she walked in on him masturbating to pictures of cats..."

    That got my attention on the bus from work, this was followed by how everyone in his college now calls him 'cat fucker'.
    Seems to me that someone got their Pussys mixed up.
  • kentmonkey 17 Oct 2012 23:39:36 20,882 posts
    Seen 59 minutes ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    warlockuk wrote:
    neilka wrote:
    Apparently these things cut both ways - from today's Metro letters page:
    "Thanks to the trio on the Strood to Maidstone train whose Skyrim conversations brighten up my otherwise dull train journey. Kate, Kent"
    Heh. I've been on that train a few times; dull doesn't even cover it. Strood's one of those places that needs to be nuked from orbit.
    You mean Strood hasn't been nuked from orbit? o_O
  • Spong 18 Oct 2012 01:38:26 525 posts
    Seen 6 months ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    I always recall the time a friend & I overheard a woman berating her partner as we all exited the cinema having just watched The Matrix.

    "I told you we should've seen Notting Hill..."

    Edited by Spong at 01:38:59 18-10-2012
  • RobTheBuilder 18 Oct 2012 02:03:48 6,521 posts
    Seen 1 year ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    @Spong That would be acceptable for a Matrix sequel...
  • Mola_Ram 18 Oct 2012 04:26:42 8,006 posts
    Seen 8 minutes ago
    Registered 2 years ago
    Usually it's the saying no that happens before the rape, not after.

    Unless you're that woman who was with Julian Assange. It's different for you.
  • dr_swin 18 Oct 2012 08:28:03 4,908 posts
    Seen 3 hours ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    "So he ran upstairs, desperately trying to outrun his wifi signal, because he had mistakenly sent a photo of his balls to his daughter instead of his wife".
  • Deckard1 18 Oct 2012 08:29:32 29,192 posts
    Seen 2 seconds ago
    Registered 6 years ago
    Ha ha :D

    Fish fingers and chips pretty straight forward.

  • neilka 18 Oct 2012 09:22:37 16,470 posts
    Seen 3 minutes ago
    Registered 9 years ago
    Boy, I bet his face was red.

    BAAANG!!!!! EXPLOTION!!!!!

  • Dougs 18 Oct 2012 09:39:26 69,119 posts
    Seen 1 hour ago
    Registered 12 years ago
    Not as red as his balls.
  • Deckard1 18 Oct 2012 09:41:23 29,192 posts
    Seen 2 seconds ago
    Registered 6 years ago
    The reddest balls in all the land.

    Fish fingers and chips pretty straight forward.

  • warlockuk 18 Oct 2012 10:29:30 19,216 posts
    Seen 17 hours ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    Psychotext wrote:
    Call da po-leece
    You are a Walrus AICMFP. Wanna buy some... rubber nipples?

    kentmonkey wrote:
    You mean Strood hasn't been nuked from orbit? o_O
    No - it *actually* looks like that. For real-real, not for play-play.

    I'm a grumpy bastard.

  • RobTheBuilder 20 Oct 2012 17:34:30 6,521 posts
    Seen 1 year ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    Just overheard my parents talking about an iPad.

    Turns out they were talking about an eye pad.

    Hah.
  • jonsaan 20 Oct 2012 17:54:34 25,439 posts
    Seen 6 hours ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    Heh.

    Heard a chap on his phone talking about one of his facebook friends he has a lot of back and forth with. 'I hardly know him to be honest.'

    Sign of the times.

    FCUTA!

  • Vortex808 22 Oct 2012 15:40:06 7,478 posts
    Seen 4 hours ago
    Registered 6 years ago
    "...Oh my god, can you believe it? I would have died...."

    I would have loved to have heard the start or other side of that phone call now that my interest has been piqued.

    :)

    Stupid fog clogging up the airports. I am fed up having to just hang around.

    Edited by Vortex808 at 15:41:30 22-10-2012
  • RedSparrows 22 Oct 2012 15:46:39 23,912 posts
    Seen 2 minutes ago
    Registered 7 years ago
    I honestly doubt it was anything interesting. Most people use hyperbole when mentioning the fact someone saw them without makeup, or some such shite.
  • oceanmotion 22 Oct 2012 15:49:57 16,092 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    Sitting in a coffee shop, girl on the phone.

    "Why aren't you there, your shift starts at 6.

    You didn't know.. well could you come in now then?

    Why not ?..a pill...you took a pill...for fuc..we will talk tomorrow. Bye."

    I think that person must be fired by now.

    Edited by oceanmotion at 15:51:08 22-10-2012
  • kickerconspiracy 22 Oct 2012 15:58:37 494 posts
    Seen 2 years ago
    Registered 7 years ago
    This was heard when walking past a beer garden in a rough looking pub in Southport.

    "All right, mate. I've just stabbed me Dad for some chicken."
  • smoothpete 5 Nov 2012 09:45:11 31,719 posts
    Seen 31 seconds ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    "Fuck you, I've had a poo and I still weigh 10 stone"

    Edited by smoothpete at 09:46:28 05-11-2012
  • Page

    of 23 First / Last

Log in or register to reply