"If I guess your starsign will you talk to me?"|
Give me £5 I'm worth it.
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OK, it's not overheard, but I've just seen this on my Freegle group: |
"Hi im in desberate need of some turd please for the back gardem for kids to play on need about 10m sqr can collect many thanks"
A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.
This is from last year when I was looking around Cambridge. I think it was around the Downing college.|
American Man: Wow that is amazing. I have never seen anything like this before. It must be very old. Is, is it pre-war?
Cambridge Gatekeeper: It is pre-America.
|Haha. Reminds me of being on Port Meadow in north Oxford, and seeing an American point at a church tower in Jericho and say 'that must be the college'.|
Kind of fake and not related, but when my brother and I went to school, whenever we walked past the lollipop lady, every day for 3 years we enthusiastically had the same conversation;|
"And then it exploded in his face!"
She must have thought we were crackers
A woman on the bus:|
So anyway, I got distracted and mixed up the tins, and ended up serving my hubby the dogs food. He really enjoyed it too! But I didn't want to waste the Steak so gave that to the dog.
Oh for goodness sake, I've caught my scrotum in my zip again - Margaret Thatcher, 1986
Stewardess on a flight from New York to Las Vegas back in 2001 I was sitting in front of, who was reading a magazine.|
"phwoar I wouldn't mind sitting on his face"
I turn around and she turns bright red, saying that she could have sat on my face and I wouldn't have complained.
I like it when he's angry.
PazJohnMitch wrote:Did this really happen?
It's quite a famous quoted snippet of conversation. Not saying it didn't happen, just that I've heard it before...
Alastair wrote:Yes it was true. (At least I think it is).
I doubt it was the first use of it as a retort. I imagine it was in a film or something originally and the gatekeeper probably keeps it as a stock reply.
|Given the amount of tourists, and the attitudes of some in Oxbridge, I can well imagine.|
Earlier today in a branch of Waterstones.|
Teenage girl: Doesn't it feel like we're on a ferry?
Father: Where's mum?
Teenage girl (loudly, and like Harry Enfield's Kevin): She's in the toilet, having a poo.
Father: What's wrong with her?
2 girls walking into Tesco just now...|
''otherwise i end up with really green nickers''
Heard on the bus, my daily commute, last year (but the girl who said it still gets on every day). She was chatting to her friend on her mobile:-|
"Have you ever...have you ever done it up the arse? Only we did last night. Everyone says it hurts but it was fantastic..."
Pretty girl, too! Just my type...
|I wonder why my GF was riding the bus..?|
Gym instructor doing an induction on a new member trying to work out a training program for them. |
Gym instructor "So how many times will you be coming to the gym each week?"
Inductee's response "Oh I won't be coming every week"
Not sure how the instructor then continued from that start but they did. I guess as long as they pay they don't care to much if their idea of training is utterly retarded.
|Not overheard,but all sitting down for lunch when my misses who I work with stuck her head round the door and said 'when you've finished your tea can you go upstairs and put your cock in the sink'.|
|I don't even...|
|It's shaped like a plunger.|
Wubba lubba dub-dub
"It's time to grab your pants and run."|
As overheard on the train just now.
neilka wrote:Heh. I've been on that train a few times; dull doesn't even cover it. Strood's one of those places that needs to be nuked from orbit.
I'm a grumpy bastard.
One middle-aged woman to another, yesterday:-|
"...and with an arse like that, she deserves everything that's coming to her..."
EDIT: wrong thread!|
Edited by thelzdking at 13:47:24 03-08-2012
Small random child running past us like a daftie in the park earlier: "Weeeeeeee."|
You'd need a hard heart to disagree with the simple joy of just running about.
|'Na, Whitney's bruvver ain't dead, he's just run away.'|
3DS: Mooky - 2019-9643-8311
FFXIV ARR: Alekzander Lockhart, Odin