Snippets of Overheard Conversations Thread Page 15

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  • mrpon 16 Mar 2012 13:24:45 30,592 posts
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    "If I guess your starsign will you talk to me?"

    A chugger.
  • localnotail 21 May 2012 16:29:27 23,084 posts
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    OK, it's not overheard, but I've just seen this on my Freegle group:

    "Hi im in desberate need of some turd please for the back gardem for kids to play on need about 10m sqr can collect many thanks"
  • CosmicFuzz 21 May 2012 16:31:31 28,851 posts
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    Finally, a customer!!
  • CosmicFuzz 6 Jul 2012 18:03:56 28,851 posts
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    Woman on phone behind me:

    "I'm about to give you a damn good reason to go to Whitby in a minute.

    ...

    It's a goth festival."
  • PazJohnMitch 7 Jul 2012 11:25:49 10,107 posts
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    This is from last year when I was looking around Cambridge. I think it was around the Downing college.

    American Man: Wow that is amazing. I have never seen anything like this before. It must be very old. Is, is it pre-war?

    Cambridge Gatekeeper: It is pre-America.
  • Deleted user 7 July 2012 11:34:07
    Haha. Reminds me of being on Port Meadow in north Oxford, and seeing an American point at a church tower in Jericho and say 'that must be the college'.
  • yegon 7 Jul 2012 11:47:15 5,624 posts
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    Kind of fake and not related, but when my brother and I went to school, whenever we walked past the lollipop lady, every day for 3 years we enthusiastically had the same conversation;

    "And then it exploded in his face!"

    She must have thought we were crackers :)
  • DFawkes 7 Jul 2012 12:15:41 25,987 posts
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    A woman on the bus:

    So anyway, I got distracted and mixed up the tins, and ended up serving my hubby the dogs food. He really enjoyed it too! But I didn't want to waste the Steak so gave that to the dog.
  • JBlokeUK 7 Jul 2012 12:28:29 2,307 posts
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    Stewardess on a flight from New York to Las Vegas back in 2001 I was sitting in front of, who was reading a magazine.

    "phwoar I wouldn't mind sitting on his face"

    I turn around and she turns bright red, saying that she could have sat on my face and I wouldn't have complained.
  • Alastair 7 Jul 2012 12:54:12 17,076 posts
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    PazJohnMitch wrote:
    This is from last year when I was looking around Cambridge. I think it was around the Downing college.

    American Man: Wow that is amazing. I have never seen anything like this before. It must be very old. Is, is it pre-war?

    Cambridge Gatekeeper: It is pre-America.
    Did this really happen?
    It's quite a famous quoted snippet of conversation. Not saying it didn't happen, just that I've heard it before...
  • PazJohnMitch 7 Jul 2012 18:13:10 10,107 posts
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    Alastair wrote:
    PazJohnMitch wrote:
    This is from last year when I was looking around Cambridge. I think it was around the Downing college.

    American Man: Wow that is amazing. I have never seen anything like this before. It must be very old. Is, is it pre-war?

    Cambridge Gatekeeper: It is pre-America.
    Did this really happen?
    It's quite a famous quoted snippet of conversation. Not saying it didn't happen, just that I've heard it before...
    Yes it was true. (At least I think it is).

    I doubt it was the first use of it as a retort. I imagine it was in a film or something originally and the gatekeeper probably keeps it as a stock reply.
  • Deleted user 7 July 2012 18:16:34
    Given the amount of tourists, and the attitudes of some in Oxbridge, I can well imagine.
  • thelzdking 8 Jul 2012 17:43:57 4,666 posts
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    Earlier today in a branch of Waterstones.

    Teenage girl: Doesn't it feel like we're on a ferry?

    Father: Where's mum?

    Teenage girl (loudly, and like Harry Enfield's Kevin): She's in the toilet, having a poo.

    Father: What's wrong with her?
  • el_pollo_diablo 11 Jul 2012 17:19:59 2,319 posts
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    Post deleted
  • S.J.Rogers 1 Aug 2012 18:20:45 3,555 posts
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    2 girls walking into Tesco just now...

    ''otherwise i end up with really green nickers''
  • CosmicFuzz 1 Aug 2012 18:32:12 28,851 posts
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    Ah, nothing worse than profusely sweating out your fanny.
  • EMarkM 1 Aug 2012 21:42:28 3,793 posts
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    Heard on the bus, my daily commute, last year (but the girl who said it still gets on every day). She was chatting to her friend on her mobile:-

    "Have you ever...have you ever done it up the arse? Only we did last night. Everyone says it hurts but it was fantastic..."

    Pretty girl, too! Just my type...
  • S.J.Rogers 2 Aug 2012 16:11:13 3,555 posts
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    I wonder why my GF was riding the bus..? :-)
  • glaeken 2 Aug 2012 16:46:26 11,435 posts
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    Gym instructor doing an induction on a new member trying to work out a training program for them.

    Gym instructor "So how many times will you be coming to the gym each week?"

    Inductee's response "Oh I won't be coming every week"

    Not sure how the instructor then continued from that start but they did. I guess as long as they pay they don't care to much if their idea of training is utterly retarded.
  • ILoveThrashMetal 3 Aug 2012 11:21:48 983 posts
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    Not overheard,but all sitting down for lunch when my misses who I work with stuck her head round the door and said 'when you've finished your tea can you go upstairs and put your cock in the sink'.
  • Psychotext 3 Aug 2012 12:06:58 57,523 posts
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    I don't even...
  • Salaman 3 Aug 2012 12:20:38 20,546 posts
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    ILoveThrashMetal wrote:
    Not overheard,but all sitting down for lunch when my misses who I work with stuck her head round the door and said 'when you've finished your tea can you go upstairs and put your cock in the sink'.
    eh?
  • neilka Funniest Forumite, 2014 3 Aug 2012 12:28:39 17,036 posts
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    It's shaped like a plunger.
  • lucky_jim 3 Aug 2012 12:38:20 5,436 posts
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    @ILoveThrashMetal
    I presume she meant "cup". Although she's clearly got cock on her mind, you're getting lucky tonight.

    Edited by lucky_jim at 12:41:03 03-08-2012
  • Ged42 3 Aug 2012 13:02:51 7,981 posts
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    "It's time to grab your pants and run."



    As overheard on the train just now.
  • warlockuk 3 Aug 2012 13:19:26 19,287 posts
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    neilka wrote:
    Apparently these things cut both ways - from today's Metro letters page:
    "Thanks to the trio on the Strood to Maidstone train whose Skyrim conversations brighten up my otherwise dull train journey. Kate, Kent"
    Heh. I've been on that train a few times; dull doesn't even cover it. Strood's one of those places that needs to be nuked from orbit.
  • EMarkM 3 Aug 2012 13:32:24 3,793 posts
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    One middle-aged woman to another, yesterday:-

    "...and with an arse like that, she deserves everything that's coming to her..."
  • thelzdking 3 Aug 2012 13:46:44 4,666 posts
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    EDIT: wrong thread!

    Edited by thelzdking at 13:47:24 03-08-2012
  • Vortex808 4 Aug 2012 19:57:57 8,681 posts
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    Small random child running past us like a daftie in the park earlier: "Weeeeeeee."

    You'd need a hard heart to disagree with the simple joy of just running about.
  • Agent_Llama 4 Aug 2012 23:08:35 3,548 posts
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    'Na, Whitney's bruvver ain't dead, he's just run away.'
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