Snippets of Overheard Conversations Thread Page 13

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  • Kostabi 24 Dec 2011 11:19:59 4,932 posts
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    While queuing for a bus after work...

    "he wouldn't let me leave class so I pissed in the bin"

    To which his mum nodded and said fair enough. Must be noted that the kid must have been at least 16 or so.
  • Deleted user 24 December 2011 11:55:43
    Tramp cadging a fag from a bunch of drama students.

    Loud, inebriated voice:
    "MEN-FOLS? YOU'RE TRYING TO POISON ME, MATE?"


    Answer should have been: yes. You are dirty and squalid.
  • Deleted user 24 December 2011 11:56:35
    Kostabi wrote:
    While queuing for a bus after work...

    "he wouldn't let me leave class so I pissed in the bin"

    To which his mum nodded and said fair enough. Must be noted that the kid must have been at least 16 or so.
    I look forward to that happening in my class. I'd have tied his penis in a motherfucking knot.
  • Deleted user 24 December 2011 12:09:28
    Telling the misses that I'm popping out for a quick pint and I'll pop back and get her at 4 when we're both due there.

    Misses: "Why do you have to go down there now? Can't you wait?"
    Me: "That's how I roll!"
    Misses: "I hate the way you roll"

    I lol'd anyway :D
  • speedofthepuma 24 Dec 2011 12:39:53 13,293 posts
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    That's made me chuckle crispy, well played.

    I lurk. If I've spoken to you, I'm either impassioned, or drunk.

  • urban 24 Dec 2011 13:42:39 10,945 posts
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    Flatmates had a party last night. I was in my bed feeling sorry for myself (see the cycling thread for the reason why) I heard someone go into the loo and puking, then I heard a girl come into the hallway. Asking this fella if he was okay and he replied

    Guy: "I just had the weirdest feeling that I've been here and done this before"

    Guy: "Like groundhog day"

    Girl: "that's called deja vu, when you think you've already seen/done something exactly before"

    Guy: "it's scary! I don't like it"

    Guy starts crying

    Girl: "OMG babe, it's okay. It happens to the best of us, don't worry I won't tell anyone you had deja vu unless you tell them first. It's our secret"

    Guy: "I think I just need to go lay down upstairs"

    Girl: "I'll come with you, make sure you're okay"

    Two minutes later I hear them fucking.

    What a fucking genius.
  • localnotail 16 Jan 2012 13:34:19 23,093 posts
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    Two from my work colleagues today:

    1. "What's that film, you know, the one with Demi Moore in, you know, the one with the ghost in it?"

    2. "Oh no, I don't like staying in B&Bs, the people who run them are weird, they watch you when you are asleep"

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • smoothpete 16 Jan 2012 14:00:29 31,536 posts
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    "FUCK! MY FUCKING ONION!"

    (I said this one as I watched my onion bounce its way down the escalator in the shopping mall. I post it on behalf of the witnesses)
  • mikew1985 16 Jan 2012 14:04:27 12,803 posts
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    urban wrote:
    Flatmates had a party last night. I was in my bed feeling sorry for myself (see the cycling thread for the reason why) I heard someone go into the loo and puking, then I heard a girl come into the hallway. Asking this fella if he was okay and he replied

    Guy: "I just had the weirdest feeling that I've been here and done this before"

    Guy: "Like groundhog day"

    Girl: "that's called deja vu, when you think you've already seen/done something exactly before"

    Guy: "it's scary! I don't like it"

    Guy starts crying

    Girl: "OMG babe, it's okay. It happens to the best of us, don't worry I won't tell anyone you had deja vu unless you tell them first. It's our secret"

    Guy: "I think I just need to go lay down upstairs"

    Girl: "I'll come with you, make sure you're okay"

    Two minutes later I hear them fucking.

    What a fucking genius.
    Brilliant
  • DFawkes 16 Jan 2012 14:10:24 23,061 posts
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    Though I wasn't there as such, someone that works at my local Hospital was going around asking children "Can I clean your shoes with my tongue?". I post on the childrens behalf, obviously.

    Despite offering such a service, the courts decided this was enough to put him on the sex offenders register. Where's the justice in that.

    Oh for goodness sake, I've caught my scrotum in my zip again - Margaret Thatcher, 1986

  • boo 16 Jan 2012 14:57:57 11,795 posts
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    smoothpete wrote:
    "FUCK! MY FUCKING ONION!"

    (I said this one as I watched my onion bounce its way down the escalator in the shopping mall. I post it on behalf of the witnesses)
    Smooth, Pete!

    Just Another Lego Blog

  • shamblemonkee 16 Jan 2012 15:40:47 14,439 posts
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    If a spider crawls across it , it can set it off
  • senso-ji 17 Jan 2012 11:22:39 5,923 posts
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    Two women behind me as I was walking home last night, one says to other:

    "Yeah, but I think racist jokes are much funnier than sexist ones"
  • Lexx87 17 Jan 2012 11:23:55 20,863 posts
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    Truth.

    Speak the truth hussy!

  • DaM 17 Jan 2012 11:34:07 13,273 posts
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    CrispyXUK wrote:
    Telling the misses that I'm popping out for a quick pint and I'll pop back and get her at 4 when we're both due there.

    Misses: "Why do you have to go down there now? Can't you wait?"
    Me: "That's how I roll!"
    Misses: "I hate the way you roll"

    I lol'd anyway :D
    I heard my son shout out (to himself) "That's how I roll...like a boss!" on getting a tricky star on SMG....I don't know where 7 yr olds learn internet memes....
  • Psychotext 17 Jan 2012 13:04:34 54,313 posts
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    I would hazard a guess... the internet.
  • ElNuevo9 17 Jan 2012 13:49:11 13,447 posts
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    Walked past quite a pretty girl the other day, overheard her saying to her female friend; "he wanted to get to the 'Noo Noo' stage, it was only the third date".

    Hated, adored, never ignored.

  • RedSparrows 17 Jan 2012 14:15:37 22,911 posts
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    urban wrote:
    Flatmates had a party last night. I was in my bed feeling sorry for myself (see the cycling thread for the reason why) I heard someone go into the loo and puking, then I heard a girl come into the hallway. Asking this fella if he was okay and he replied

    Guy: "I just had the weirdest feeling that I've been here and done this before"

    Guy: "Like groundhog day"

    Girl: "that's called deja vu, when you think you've already seen/done something exactly before"

    Guy: "it's scary! I don't like it"

    Guy starts crying

    Girl: "OMG babe, it's okay. It happens to the best of us, don't worry I won't tell anyone you had deja vu unless you tell them first. It's our secret"

    Guy: "I think I just need to go lay down upstairs"

    Girl: "I'll come with you, make sure you're okay"

    Two minutes later I hear them fucking.

    What a fucking genius.
    I started reading that, and decided they were both mongtards. Then I realised he, or she, or both, were evil geniuses. Then I settled it at mongtards again.
  • RedSparrows 17 Jan 2012 14:17:03 22,911 posts
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    What the hell is noo noo? Sex for infantile adults?

    /bad mood for no reason.
  • chopsen 17 Jan 2012 14:18:22 16,094 posts
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    I read it and thought "I wonder if he has a temporal lobe tumour?" (vomiting, deja vu, strange behaviour) but then I'm cheery like that.
  • Lukus 17 Jan 2012 15:06:42 19,148 posts
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    Chopsen wrote:
    I read it and thought "I wonder if he has a temporal lobe tumour?" (vomiting, deja vu, strange behaviour) but then I'm cheery like that.
    PHWOAAAR!

    Paintings & Photographs

  • Psychotext 17 Jan 2012 15:14:29 54,313 posts
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    Or, perhaps, the guy was shitfaced.
  • MetalDog 17 Jan 2012 15:15:13 23,701 posts
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    StarchildHypocrethes wrote:
    What the hell is a Babycino?
    It's a cuppacino(sp?) without the espresso.

    I can't even remember how I know this.

    -- boobs do nothing for me, I want moustaches and chest hair.

  • DaM 17 Jan 2012 15:46:27 13,273 posts
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    MetalDog wrote:
    StarchildHypocrethes wrote:
    What the hell is a Babycino?
    It's a cuppacino(sp?) without the espresso.

    I can't even remember how I know this.
    It's a wee cup of steamed milk to keep children happy - free at Starbucks I think. Or somewhere like that...
  • sport 17 Jan 2012 16:08:17 12,758 posts
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    DaM wrote:
    MetalDog wrote:
    StarchildHypocrethes wrote:
    What the hell is a Babycino?
    It's a cuppacino(sp?) without the espresso.

    I can't even remember how I know this.
    It's a wee cup of steamed milk to keep children happy - free at Starbucks I think. Or somewhere like that...
    You get the choice of marshmallows or a flake when you buy one at Costa. Little dude loves them!
  • Psychotext 17 Jan 2012 16:53:24 54,313 posts
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    I want a cuppacino. Is that like tea with froth?
  • localnotail 17 Jan 2012 16:55:13 23,093 posts
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    Somehow reminded of this:

    Edited by localnotail at 16:55:38 17-01-2012

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • MetalDog 17 Jan 2012 17:06:57 23,701 posts
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    Psychotext wrote:
    I want a cuppacino. Is that like tea with froth?
    It's like a latte with less drink.

    -- boobs do nothing for me, I want moustaches and chest hair.

  • FWB 17 Jan 2012 17:28:53 44,671 posts
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    These babies... they're free at coffee shops?! What is their stitching work like?
  • neilka 17 Jan 2012 17:31:09 16,111 posts
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    Sadly they usually burst within the first few hours of intensive usage.

    Lastly, I am gay, disabled, and a liberal.

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