Snippets of Overheard Conversations Thread Page 13

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  • Kostabi 24 Dec 2011 11:19:59 5,464 posts
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    While queuing for a bus after work...

    "he wouldn't let me leave class so I pissed in the bin"

    To which his mum nodded and said fair enough. Must be noted that the kid must have been at least 16 or so.
  • Deleted user 24 December 2011 11:55:43
    Tramp cadging a fag from a bunch of drama students.

    Loud, inebriated voice:
    "MEN-FOLS? YOU'RE TRYING TO POISON ME, MATE?"


    Answer should have been: yes. You are dirty and squalid.
  • Deleted user 24 December 2011 11:56:35
    Kostabi wrote:
    While queuing for a bus after work...

    "he wouldn't let me leave class so I pissed in the bin"

    To which his mum nodded and said fair enough. Must be noted that the kid must have been at least 16 or so.
    I look forward to that happening in my class. I'd have tied his penis in a motherfucking knot.
  • Deleted user 24 December 2011 12:09:28
    Telling the misses that I'm popping out for a quick pint and I'll pop back and get her at 4 when we're both due there.

    Misses: "Why do you have to go down there now? Can't you wait?"
    Me: "That's how I roll!"
    Misses: "I hate the way you roll"

    I lol'd anyway :D
  • speedofthepuma 24 Dec 2011 12:39:53 13,347 posts
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    That's made me chuckle crispy, well played.
  • urban 24 Dec 2011 13:42:39 11,487 posts
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    Flatmates had a party last night. I was in my bed feeling sorry for myself (see the cycling thread for the reason why) I heard someone go into the loo and puking, then I heard a girl come into the hallway. Asking this fella if he was okay and he replied

    Guy: "I just had the weirdest feeling that I've been here and done this before"

    Guy: "Like groundhog day"

    Girl: "that's called deja vu, when you think you've already seen/done something exactly before"

    Guy: "it's scary! I don't like it"

    Guy starts crying

    Girl: "OMG babe, it's okay. It happens to the best of us, don't worry I won't tell anyone you had deja vu unless you tell them first. It's our secret"

    Guy: "I think I just need to go lay down upstairs"

    Girl: "I'll come with you, make sure you're okay"

    Two minutes later I hear them fucking.

    What a fucking genius.
  • localnotail 16 Jan 2012 13:34:19 23,084 posts
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    Two from my work colleagues today:

    1. "What's that film, you know, the one with Demi Moore in, you know, the one with the ghost in it?"

    2. "Oh no, I don't like staying in B&Bs, the people who run them are weird, they watch you when you are asleep"
  • smoothpete 16 Jan 2012 14:00:29 32,174 posts
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    "FUCK! MY FUCKING ONION!"

    (I said this one as I watched my onion bounce its way down the escalator in the shopping mall. I post it on behalf of the witnesses)
  • mikew1985 16 Jan 2012 14:04:27 13,551 posts
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    urban wrote:
    Flatmates had a party last night. I was in my bed feeling sorry for myself (see the cycling thread for the reason why) I heard someone go into the loo and puking, then I heard a girl come into the hallway. Asking this fella if he was okay and he replied

    Guy: "I just had the weirdest feeling that I've been here and done this before"

    Guy: "Like groundhog day"

    Girl: "that's called deja vu, when you think you've already seen/done something exactly before"

    Guy: "it's scary! I don't like it"

    Guy starts crying

    Girl: "OMG babe, it's okay. It happens to the best of us, don't worry I won't tell anyone you had deja vu unless you tell them first. It's our secret"

    Guy: "I think I just need to go lay down upstairs"

    Girl: "I'll come with you, make sure you're okay"

    Two minutes later I hear them fucking.

    What a fucking genius.
    Brilliant
  • DFawkes 16 Jan 2012 14:10:24 25,844 posts
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    Though I wasn't there as such, someone that works at my local Hospital was going around asking children "Can I clean your shoes with my tongue?". I post on the childrens behalf, obviously.

    Despite offering such a service, the courts decided this was enough to put him on the sex offenders register. Where's the justice in that.
  • boo 16 Jan 2012 14:57:57 12,119 posts
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    smoothpete wrote:
    "FUCK! MY FUCKING ONION!"

    (I said this one as I watched my onion bounce its way down the escalator in the shopping mall. I post it on behalf of the witnesses)
    Smooth, Pete!
  • shamblemonkee 16 Jan 2012 15:40:47 15,156 posts
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    If a spider crawls across it , it can set it off
  • senso-ji 17 Jan 2012 11:22:39 6,456 posts
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    Two women behind me as I was walking home last night, one says to other:

    "Yeah, but I think racist jokes are much funnier than sexist ones"
  • Lexx87 17 Jan 2012 11:23:55 20,853 posts
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    Truth.
  • DaM 17 Jan 2012 11:34:07 14,120 posts
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    CrispyXUK wrote:
    Telling the misses that I'm popping out for a quick pint and I'll pop back and get her at 4 when we're both due there.

    Misses: "Why do you have to go down there now? Can't you wait?"
    Me: "That's how I roll!"
    Misses: "I hate the way you roll"

    I lol'd anyway :D
    I heard my son shout out (to himself) "That's how I roll...like a boss!" on getting a tricky star on SMG....I don't know where 7 yr olds learn internet memes....
  • Psychotext 17 Jan 2012 13:04:34 57,345 posts
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    I would hazard a guess... the internet.
  • ElNuevo9 17 Jan 2012 13:49:11 13,897 posts
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    Walked past quite a pretty girl the other day, overheard her saying to her female friend; "he wanted to get to the 'Noo Noo' stage, it was only the third date".
  • Deleted user 17 January 2012 14:15:37
    urban wrote:
    Flatmates had a party last night. I was in my bed feeling sorry for myself (see the cycling thread for the reason why) I heard someone go into the loo and puking, then I heard a girl come into the hallway. Asking this fella if he was okay and he replied

    Guy: "I just had the weirdest feeling that I've been here and done this before"

    Guy: "Like groundhog day"

    Girl: "that's called deja vu, when you think you've already seen/done something exactly before"

    Guy: "it's scary! I don't like it"

    Guy starts crying

    Girl: "OMG babe, it's okay. It happens to the best of us, don't worry I won't tell anyone you had deja vu unless you tell them first. It's our secret"

    Guy: "I think I just need to go lay down upstairs"

    Girl: "I'll come with you, make sure you're okay"

    Two minutes later I hear them fucking.

    What a fucking genius.
    I started reading that, and decided they were both mongtards. Then I realised he, or she, or both, were evil geniuses. Then I settled it at mongtards again.
  • Deleted user 17 January 2012 14:17:03
    What the hell is noo noo? Sex for infantile adults?

    /bad mood for no reason.
  • chopsen 17 Jan 2012 14:18:22 17,073 posts
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    I read it and thought "I wonder if he has a temporal lobe tumour?" (vomiting, deja vu, strange behaviour) but then I'm cheery like that.
  • Lukus 17 Jan 2012 15:06:42 19,646 posts
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    Chopsen wrote:
    I read it and thought "I wonder if he has a temporal lobe tumour?" (vomiting, deja vu, strange behaviour) but then I'm cheery like that.
    PHWOAAAR!
  • Psychotext 17 Jan 2012 15:14:29 57,345 posts
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    Or, perhaps, the guy was shitfaced.
  • MetalDog 17 Jan 2012 15:15:13 23,928 posts
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    StarchildHypocrethes wrote:
    What the hell is a Babycino?
    It's a cuppacino(sp?) without the espresso.

    I can't even remember how I know this.
  • DaM 17 Jan 2012 15:46:27 14,120 posts
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    MetalDog wrote:
    StarchildHypocrethes wrote:
    What the hell is a Babycino?
    It's a cuppacino(sp?) without the espresso.

    I can't even remember how I know this.
    It's a wee cup of steamed milk to keep children happy - free at Starbucks I think. Or somewhere like that...
  • sport 17 Jan 2012 16:08:17 13,048 posts
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    DaM wrote:
    MetalDog wrote:
    StarchildHypocrethes wrote:
    What the hell is a Babycino?
    It's a cuppacino(sp?) without the espresso.

    I can't even remember how I know this.
    It's a wee cup of steamed milk to keep children happy - free at Starbucks I think. Or somewhere like that...
    You get the choice of marshmallows or a flake when you buy one at Costa. Little dude loves them!
  • Psychotext 17 Jan 2012 16:53:24 57,345 posts
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    I want a cuppacino. Is that like tea with froth?
  • localnotail 17 Jan 2012 16:55:13 23,084 posts
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    Somehow reminded of this:

    Edited by localnotail at 16:55:38 17-01-2012
  • MetalDog 17 Jan 2012 17:06:57 23,928 posts
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    Psychotext wrote:
    I want a cuppacino. Is that like tea with froth?
    It's like a latte with less drink.
  • FWB 17 Jan 2012 17:28:53 48,395 posts
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    These babies... they're free at coffee shops?! What is their stitching work like?
  • neilka Funniest Forumite, 2014 17 Jan 2012 17:31:09 17,014 posts
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    Sadly they usually burst within the first few hours of intensive usage.
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