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  • deem 28 Aug 2008 21:52:23 31,641 posts
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    Ok, this is how this thread went originally:

    Begging

    What position would you have to be in to beg somebody for money? Or send a begging letter?

    Is it ever acceptable?

    Would you?

    For example, you needed 30k to keep your spouse/parent alive.


    It was just a genuine question to find out how people would deal with the situation my wife and I have found ourselves in, due to my wife being terminally ill.

    After a couple of suggestions from forumites, I made the following edit:


    edit:

    Ok.

    We've looked in to some private pioneering treatment and we are going to go ahead with the initial stages.

    We need around 1,600 for the initial PET scan, then between 11,000 and 20,000 for the treatment + whatever costs will be involved regarding travel etc, as it isn't available in the UK until late this year. If it turns out this particular treatment isn't possible, we will push for something else.

    I'm setting up a fund, so if anybody would like to contribute anything at all - as some have said, by all means please do. Even if it's just a miniscule donation - 140,000 members at EG etc...

    I'm doing it via my existing Paypal account (dan@sauceguides.com) initially, as setting up a fund is going to take a bit of time.

    I will be setting up a blog, for our friends and family and anyone that is interested to track our progress.

    I'm sure many people that know me will think it odd that I'm asking for donations when I spend money on games and gadgets, but the odd couple of hundred here and there in the past is a very different kettle of fish to needing to get hold of around 20k in a very short space of time!

    Anyone that thinks this seems like a bizarre post, it's pretty much explained through the thread.

    :)

    Cheers.


    Edit: An Explanation as suggested.

    To cut a long story short...

    For 2 years, my wife suffered with pains in her stomach. Countless visits to the G.P resulted in a variety of diagnosis but mainly IBS. She was given tablets to deal with it, but nothing improved and the symptoms persisted. She had a couple of scans and x-rays along the way, but nothing was discovered.

    In January, things started to get desperate, as she was experiencing a lot of swelling, and could feel a lump changing in size. More visits to the GP didn't get her anywhere, and was put on a 10 week waiting list for another scan.

    A couple if weeks later, the lump was getting very large, and she went to see the GP again (this was probably the 8th time). Fortunately, our GP wasn't there for this visit, and she was seen by a new Dr, who took one look at the lump and put her on the Cancer Referral list, but assured her it was only to get her scan moved forward, and that it was likely the problem would be Chrones disease or something similar.

    She went to get the results the following Friday, and we were told that she had Bowel Cancer, and that she would need an emergency operation to attempt to remove the tumor, so was admitted in to hospital on the Monday.

    The consultant was unable to remove the entire tumor, and it had broken through the wall of her bowel.

    2 weeks later, still in hospital she then developed peritonitis, was rushed in to Intensive Care and had to have a further emergency operation which included having to have a stoma. She then spent 2 weeks on life support, heavily sedated and attempts to remove her support resulted in her nearly dying - we nearly lost her twice in the space of a few days.

    She spent 2 months in Critical/Intensive care, during which she had various stomach and chest drains, was tube fed, developed major organ failure with her lungs, pneumonia, C-Diff and a whole host of other complications and problems.

    She has been out of Hospital for around 4 months now and has undergone unsuccessful radiotherapy and chemotherapy, and there are fears that the cancer has spread to her liver and possibly other areas.

    Before she started her Chemo & Radiotherapy, she was told if the treatment was successful, that the tumor would hopefully be shrunk enough to remove, and if this was achieved, she could hopefully be given up to 2 years, but sadly this wasn't the case.

    People often say 'my auntie was given 2 years and she's alive 15 years later', but unfortunately for my wife, that very often isn't the case for young people. The younger and healthier you are the more the cancer thrives.

    So, now we are looking at trying something privately, and the first stage of that, is for her to have a PET scan, which will cost in the region of 1600, and if she gets the go ahead for treatment, this will cost around 15,000 and is sadly unavailable in this country.

    I'm sure there's a whole host of things I've missed, but hopefully this will give people an idea of the situation, and make the thread appear a little less random.

  • Stickman 28 Aug 2008 21:52:52 29,666 posts
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    Strangers or someone you know?

    THIS SPACE FOR RENT

  • Metalfish 28 Aug 2008 21:54:20 8,830 posts
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    I'd have to be really, really desperate. I'm generally pretty dismissive of beggars/charity workers so to expect much would be slightly hypocritical, I suppose.
  • deem 28 Aug 2008 21:54:28 31,641 posts
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    Either or I guess.
  • Errol 28 Aug 2008 21:55:44 12,497 posts
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    Begging for sex is acceptable.
  • DaM 28 Aug 2008 22:03:07 13,324 posts
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    Aionic wrote:
    I suppose it depends how much I want a game.

    Get tatty work clothes, an old coat, grow a beard, don't bath/cut my dogs hair for a few days and I'm sure I'd get the money required by disguising myself as a tramp.

    A bloke once flipped a pound coin into my paper cup of coffee as I sat on the ground outside a record shop waiting for my mates. We had been on a 3 day bender..... And I got offered a pound for my Big Issue once too! Looking back I probably took the student combat jacket look to an extreme......
  • Angel_Treats 28 Aug 2008 22:03:48 11,072 posts
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    I think most people only do it because they have no other option. It's not exactly an enjoyable way to acquire money, is it?

    If I was desperate to find 30k to keep my parent or husband alive, I would have no problem asking people for money if I thought they might give it to me.
  • Milk 28 Aug 2008 22:12:48 2,253 posts
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    I'll lend you a fiver deem . . .
  • Stickman 28 Aug 2008 22:13:48 29,666 posts
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    If it was people I know well, I'd have no qualms about asking to borrow cash. They'd know I wouldn't ask for no good reason, and they'd know I'd do the same for them. Anyone I didn't know well, I probably wouldn't ask at all unless I was practically destitute.

    THIS SPACE FOR RENT

  • Deleted user 28 August 2008 22:14:19
    deem wrote:

    For example, you needed 30k to keep your spouse/parent alive.

    In this instance I would. But maybe try starting a charity to help raise money. A couple I work with have done it.
  • [Slip] 28 Aug 2008 22:16:07 994 posts
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    no question...

    higher morality comes into effect if it's to save someones life.. I'd suck off a tramp if it was to save someone I loved..... maybe I'll regret posting that :)
  • Jeepers 28 Aug 2008 22:16:39 13,183 posts
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    deem wrote:
    For example, you needed 30k to keep your spouse/parent alive.

    Well, if that's the situation you're in, then for fucks sake, beg away.

    In that position, it wouldn't be begging at all - it'd be you doing everything you can to look after the person you love. So speak to friends, family and whoever the fuck else and get the cash.
  • [Slip] 28 Aug 2008 22:19:12 994 posts
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    Ocean Finance.
  • Milk 28 Aug 2008 22:20:57 2,253 posts
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    deem wrote:
    For example, you needed 30k to keep your spouse/parent alive.

    In this situation asking for money isn't really begging. If anyone is ever unfortunate enough to be in this position I'm assuming you just do whatever you need to do to get the money together.


  • SpaceDave3000 28 Aug 2008 22:24:56 78,392 posts
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    I'd have no qualms about it if it were to save someone I love.

    If it were for myself I'd rather starve.

    +1 / Like / Tweet this post

  • MetalDog 28 Aug 2008 22:42:29 23,723 posts
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    I think most people feel that way until they're actually starving.

    There are many things worse than begging. Yes it's unpleasant, but it's only cash you're asking people for - the way people act about it, you'd think you were asking for their first born. If you need it that badly, beg and borrow, fundraise and flog whatever you can. Do what you have to do without making the initial situation worse (which stealing probably would).

    -- boobs do nothing for me, I want moustaches and chest hair.

  • Jeepers 28 Aug 2008 22:46:25 13,183 posts
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    And A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich is a superb book about life in the gulags.

    Wut?
  • Carlo 28 Aug 2008 22:49:19 18,093 posts
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    Begging is begging Deem, and the begger is the one who lives with themselves, but how other people react to it is the interesting bit.

    Some give, some ignore, and the low-life's scorn.

    PSN ID: Djini

  • banjoted 28 Aug 2008 22:59:05 1,500 posts
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    deem wrote:
    What position would you have to be in to beg somebody for money? Or send a begging letter?

    Is it ever acceptable?

    Would you?

    For example, you needed 30k to keep your spouse/parent alive.

    There's no shame in asking for help from someone able to give it in your situation, deem. Being given the money is hardly something you'll regret if it pays off, is it? Go for it.
  • Lutzie 28 Aug 2008 23:02:13 952 posts
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    To keep a loved one, spouse or child, alive I'd beg, borrow and steal. Probably even kill.

    For a parent, not quite so much, as they've at least had a life.
  • Psychotext 28 Aug 2008 23:03:25 54,391 posts
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    You do what you need to do to survive.
  • banjoted 28 Aug 2008 23:03:40 1,500 posts
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    Yeah, fuck parents.








    Not literally, of course. And probably not even for 30k.
  • banjoted 28 Aug 2008 23:05:40 1,500 posts
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    That's pretty fucking cold. Try grafting when you're needed to look after a desperately ill loved one.
  • Deleted user 28 August 2008 23:06:57
    Does anyone have twenty quid I could borrow.
  • Retroid Moderator 28 Aug 2008 23:29:52 44,957 posts
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    Lutzie wrote:
    To keep a loved one, spouse or child, alive I'd beg, borrow and steal. Probably even kill.
    This.
  • deem 29 Aug 2008 09:06:19 31,641 posts
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    Wohoo! I've got it!

    Rauper!

    Do you have an advertising budget!?

    How about you give me a pound for every post I've made!?

    The Sun would be ALL OVER a story like that, page 2 or 4 probably, that would probably cost around 30k, not to mention all the other press coverage!

    The whole story is on here, from the first signs, to the diagnosis, to the discovery that it was terminal...

    ;)

    Actually, on second thoughts, I can see The Suns pull out box now.

    Deems time on Eurogamer equates to

    EATING more than 15,000 Bacon rolls.
    WALKING to the post office 4,000 times.
    WRITING around 35,000 emails.
    ACTUALLY WORKING for 8 MONTHS.

    /sack
  • smoothpete 29 Aug 2008 09:13:41 31,556 posts
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    If I win the euromillions tonight I'll give you 500 grand.
  • deem 29 Aug 2008 09:14:31 31,641 posts
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    Thanks pete.

    (oh, and thanks for the PM yesterday)
  • MetalDog 29 Aug 2008 09:16:42 23,723 posts
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    Chog wrote:
    Look at me everybody! I'm a cunt! Look at me! Look at me!

    -- boobs do nothing for me, I want moustaches and chest hair.

  • Dougs 29 Aug 2008 09:19:11 68,364 posts
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    Yeah, I think charity fundraisers are the way to go. You can lean on whoever then and as the reason is clear people are much more likely to give, and give more, than simple begging. Shouldn't really make a difference when the stakes are that high but seems to be the way it works.

    Good luck.
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